Beat Down

None of us would make it as parents if it weren’t for moments like these.
    There are days in the great game of parenting where you just feel beat down.  That’s me today.  I’m just so tired of hearing myself say things like:
-“No, get back in bed.”
-“Joshua–Caleb–Daniel!”   ….because for some reason both Alan and I seem to have to always go through all the wrong names before we find the right one.
-“Leave your brother alone.”
-“I don’t care what he says to you, you cannot kick him.”
-“Be nice to your brother!”
-“Caleb, go flush!”
-“Go pee pee.”
-“Don’t talk back.”
-“What did I just ask you to do?”  Sometimes, they literally were not listening to a word that I said.  It’s like I’m living in a house of nothing but small men…..oh, wait!
  This morning I overslept, as usual.  Ever since Bobby arrived I have never made it on time to Sunday School, and today was the very first day that I stayed for big church.  Yes, I still call it that.
   I overslept, but Alan scored major love points by bringing me up a cup of coffee–fixed just the way I like it– and an apple fritter while I nursed Bobby in his room.  I didn’t even have to ask.  That was to be the highlight of my day, so I’m so glad that it happened!
   The whole family was running late for church, just as we are every single Sunday morning.  I know that we need to set the alarm and get up and get ready at 7 at the latest, but for some reason I never actually do it.  It all starts with our failure to go to bed early on Saturday night, I suppose.  If only I could be as wise at 10pm as I feel at 10am as I’m rushing into church late!
   I told Alan to go ahead with the children that were ready, and I would come once the rest of us were ready:  Caleb (still in his underwear), Bobby, and me.  I got us all ready, and we would have been almost on time, but everything after that just went wrong:
 1st I couldn’t get Bobby’s church bottle thawed.  I wanted to stay for big church, but I was also wearing my new dress, which is just not nursing friendly.  I don’t care.  I’m wearing it anyway.  It was the only thing at Target that looked good on me!
 2..–I finally got the bottle thawed, after resorting to microwave usage, got the boys loaded in the car, and took off down the road.  I was scolding myself in my head about my tardiness.  (I really hate being late.)  ….But I over did it.  That’s something that often happens to daydreamers like me…..I missed the turn, putting me in a part of town that involves interstates and turning left to go right and figuring out east vs. west….and well…..I ended up in a parking deck a couple miles from where I’d missed the turn…forced to follow exit signs to get out of the parking deck..turn after turn after turn inside this thing……and hoping this glorious modern concrete structure wouldn’t charge me money for getting lost inside of it, all while I was just trying to go to church…….a place I go every week, and yet still managed to get lost getting there!   OY!!
……btw…..this would not happen in a small city or the country.  I am so not a big city girl.
3.  We made it to church, I didn’t even look to see how late.  Attendance has been really low this summer, so I wasn’t worried about parking.
  Ha!  Everyone suddenly decided to come to church today, and I had to park in the back 40…..
   with no stroller…..
   which meant I had to carry the heavy baby carrier I don’t know how far…..
     Oh, and did I mention it was raining??  Not sprinkling.  Raining.  : /
4.  So I walked into class, 45 minutes late, wet, and of course the class was full of people, to include visitors.  I bet I made a great first impression.  ; )
  When Alan suggested take-out pizza for lunch, I could not have been happier.  
  I got literally nothing done today, but I told myself it’s okay because this actually is my day of rest.  : )
  We had take-out pizza leftovers for supper, and no one complained.
One good thing:  
An elderly lady came up to Alan after church and said, “That’s a beautiful baby.  You have other children, don’t you?”  Alan said, “Yes, we have three other boys (they were all in children’s church).”  She replied, “Well, I could tell by how you were handling that baby that you had others, and you knew what you were doing.”   : )  
   Two more weeks of summer left.  Sure there have been a lot of overwhelming moments where fight-or-flight kicks in….maybe I’ve hid in Bobby’s room more than I “should” have.  Maybe my children ate too many cans of Spaghetti O’s, but we’ve almost done it.  Only two more weeks!
   Sometimes we have to remind ourselves how good we really have it.  This summer I haven’t had to remind myself.  Life is constantly reminding me.  I’ve had so many friends and acquaintances, several just this year, that have not gotten the privilege of getting to hold their babies.  Babies are a fragile thing, and I remind myself of that, hold Bobby a little tighter, and make no apologies for spending too much time in his room.  (He’s safer there, you know, there are three big brothers under the age of 8!!!!)
  I think a Scarlett O’Hara quote is appropriate here:
Yes!  I will not be defeated by tiny little people and their complaints, and tomorrow is another day!!!
   Matthew 11: 28-30
   Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
   Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
   For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Sweet moments to be thankful for:

One comment

  • Anonymous

    Well the old devil wasn't going to keep you out of church today. The mere thought of carrying the baby in that heavy carrier all that way in the rain would have been enough to convince me to turn around and go back home I think. Hope tomorrow will go better for you. I need to call you sometime tomorrow. Nana

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