Frumpy Momma: Why It’s Time to Start Taking Care of Myself Again

I can’t believe that’s me. This is not me. Oh, but it is…oh, but it is.

I don’t know about you, but life definitely goes in cycles for me. I have phases where I’m like, “I got this,” and I wear make-up everyday, exercise regularly, smile at people, have feelings of happiness, and spend time socializing as well as time taking care of home and family. Okay. Well, things are never really all THAT perfect, but I definitely have phases where I am taking way better care of myself than I am right now.

This is not that phase.

This is a learning new things everyday, flying by the seat of my pants phase. We moved across the country and took on home-schooling our four boys for the first time this year. I’m way behind on lesson plans, blogging, housework, and pretty much everything.

My primary focus has been teaching and toddler care, and that just hasn’t left me much time to take care of myself. I rarely wear make-up. I never exercise. Some days I don’t really even get dressed–not really.

*gasp* the horror!

My eyebrows have not been properly plucked since the road trip in June. That was also my last pedicure. There is one dot of polish left on each of my big toes.

Shake my head.

My wardrobe? Well, I think I wear this t-shirt at least twice/week:

Youch. It’s a 5K participant t-shirt from 2012. Only I certainly haven’t been running any 5Ks lately…

I was telling my friends at Bible study this week, it’s time for me to become more self-disciplined about going to bed earlier, so that I can wake up earlier. Waking up at 7:15 doesn’t cut it around here.

I don’t completely apologize for letting myself become the grungy homeschool Mom. For the past few months, I NEEDED to focus on getting my school and my house in order. I only arrived here two weeks before I started our school, and I was not able to spend the summer preparing due to shipping issues. I did what I had to do.

Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.


So I’m not going to beat myself up about my current “down to earth”, “laid back” look. However, now that the garage is completely organized, and the school and house are becoming more routine, it’s time to turn my attention to what I’ve been neglecting: me.

I’ve discussed before that when I don’t exercise and rest properly, I have serious back issues. More specifically, I have chronic joint pain. My flare ups started again in 2012, after another phase of self-neglect (Alan’s deployment). A combination of exercise and going to a good chiropractor, helped me to get the joint pain under control. I’ve mentioned that before.

Last week, my shoulder and hip really threw a fit, and I decided it was time to figure out what is causing all this. I got online and made a list of every single one of my symptoms: joint pain on only one side of my body, psoriasis of the fingernails, occasional fevers, and fatigue. It popped up a short list, and I read through until I came across one that sounded EXACTLY like a match. I’d never heard of it before: psoriatic arthritis.

I read a few different web articles on this autoimmune disorder, and it fit my condition perfectly.

Here’s a website reference for the curious:

Thankfully, I do not have psoriasis on my skin, just on a few of my fingernails. My poor fingernails didn’t have a chance because I get really cold, and when I do I get no circulation to my nails because I also have Raynaud’s disease, another autoimmune disorder. Apparently, if you have one autoimmune issue, it’s common to have more than one. Bleh.

Are you wondering what psoriasis of the fingernails looks like on a 33-year-old? Well, here you go:


nail psoriasis

Don’t say,”ew.” Then I might feel really sad.

Groan. And all this stuff says that if you don’t get the psoriatic arthritis under control, it will cause permanent damage to your joints. And yet, it’s incurable. Lovely.

So what’s my action plan? You know I enjoy setting goals:

1. On Monday, call the infamous appointment line to see if I can get a real person to answer my call and make me an appointment. Military clinics. Oh my goodness, those poor, poor people who thought they wanted the government to run their health care…I’ve tried twice already and failed to get anyone to call me back and make me an appointment.

2. Go to bed by 11pm at the latest so I can wake up by 6:30 and go walking in the morning.

3. Wake up by 6:30, and go walk.

4. Make a spa appointment. Yes, spa. It’s been 6 months since I had eyebrows fixed, pedicure, or a hair cut, so I think that’s fair. I may even spring for the massage.

5. Make a chiropractor appointment.

6. Make a dental appointment. Ugh.

Okay, that’s a lot. I probably won’t get all of that done this week, but it’s something to aim for.

Now that I’ve shared all of these scary, and yet highly accurate, photos of myself, here’s what I hope to look like, once I get my act in gear:


Ah. Well groomed lady. Look at those eyebrows. My goal. 🙂

Happy Thanksgiving week, ya’ll! I am so excited. I love Thanksgiving.

……and you can vote for my blog, nominated for Most Influential Blog 2014, Here. Thanks, ya’ll!!!


  • Life is running quickly – change comes so quick – You need to be proud of your accomplishments!

  • McMom

    Good for you…sounds like a plan! Interestingly, I have Raynaud’s and eczema – both autoimmune. Good times. Also, my toenail paint is embarrassingly sparse. Ha! Walking everyday is SO good for your body, and emotional state of being, at least for me!

    • Without my walk, I feel like I’m falling apart. I do not like this time of the year where the sun goes down so early. That’s why I just have to start getting up earlier! On that eczema, if you can just figure out your trigger!!! Easier said than done! When JD’s popped up, I just had a feeling it was the peanut butter I’d eaten, and sure enough, that was exactly it. He can’t even do pecans. So sad!

  • Donna Stephens

    I keep trying to vote but it tells me I have already voted but I have not voted today!

  • Donna Stephens

    Well, if I go to my cellphone and take it off wifi then I can vote.

  • April, you have done so amazing with the move across the country, setting up the new home, the home schooling etc. etc.
    I sense you often put others ahead of yourself (even is scriptural) 🙂 So important to get those medical appointments, and do get pampered at the spa. 🙂
    Do take care my friend!
    Thank you for sharing so honestly from the heart!

  • I have been trying to remember to vote daily for you. I’ve also discovered I “let myself go”. 🙁 I need to start taking better care of myself for both me and my family!

    • Aw! Thank you so much for the voting. I hate asking everyone for that. I’ll be glad when the contest ends, but meanwhile it has helped my blog, traffic-wise. Hope you can get yourself taken care of too! We can do this!! 🙂

  • I feel the same way… this time last year and the year before I was working out 5 days a week.. eating healthy and feeling great…. now this year (our first year homeschooling also) I have gained I don’t know how much weight (I dont have a scale) …. don’t eat healthy and am tired all the time… but there seems to never be time.. .. and taking that first step is always the hardest :/

    • Oh, we DO have a lot in common!I think we were just doing what we needed to for our families, but now that we’re getting in a groove with the homeschooling, we have to catch up on personal maintenance before our health gets out of control!! We can help everyone better if we are maintained. YES–on the first step comment!!! Can talking about it count as the first step? I did go hiking today, and that felt great, but I have yet to make all these appointments.

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