And so goes the tooth fairy…


tooth fairy

Alan and the boys were getting ready to leave. Caleb was sitting at the table writing something on a napkin.

Alan said, “Caleb, what’re you doing? Are you writing the tooth fairy a letter?”

“Huh? Did she miss a tooth??” I asked, possibly panicking a little bit. Oh no! Had I messed that up again?

Alan explained, “He lost his tooth, so she had no idea because he didn’t put a tooth or a letter under his pillow,” halfway talking to me, halfway talking to Caleb.

Caleb looked at us silently. Caleb is loud when he plays, but when he is not playing, he is Mr. Nonchalant Straight Face.

Joshua looked at me, and he said in a flat, informative voice, as though he is always the narrator of this house, “Caleb was looking in your drawers yesterday for the 3DS, and he found all his teeth. So now he knows the tooth fairy isn’t real.” Then Joshua gave us a little shake of his head.

Whomp Whomp Whomp.

Caleb just looked at us.

I hugged them both, and reminded them that when you go snooping around in other people’s drawers you often find things you don’t want to know.

Then I asked Caleb if he’d like a dollar for his tooth.

He would, but my wallet didn’t have a single dollar bill.

So he settled for a big note on the board, “Caleb lost a tooth. Pay Caleb.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Caleb said.

It was all very non dramatic.

“Hey, Mom, so does this mean from now on you can just give us money, and we can skip the pillow thing, since, you know..” Joshua asked eagerly.

Sigh. So this is how the tooth fairy dies.

I looked at Caleb’s napkin on the table. He wasn’t even writing a tooth fairy note in the first place. He was practicing his math. Weird. I’m pretty sure I’ve never voluntarily done that in my entire life.




  • Daddy-O

    Actually, the Tooth Fairy is still very much alive and well. Since there are so many more children to get to, the Tooth Fairy deputizes willing parents to act on her behalf. I believe this started about 1966 or 67. Anyway, when the child turns twenty-one, the parents can cash in or redeem the teeth and get a rebate on the money given to the child. Nonna and I are so sorry we failed to tell Alan all this when y’all got married. But hey, you did save the teeth!

    I will send Alan an email with all the contact information. He needs to request Form TF-1040 and turn it in ASAP. According to Tooth Fairy protocol, you have a 10-year window to file without penalty. When Alan turned 21, we got a refund of $4.75. I know that doesn’t sound like much now, but the going rate back then was 25 cents per tooth. (It was 10 cents per tooth when I was a kid).

  • Jen

    Hahaha!! I like this plan! I mess up the tooth fairy almost every time! P.S. why do we save the teeth? Will they want a bag of their teeth in the future…. I do it too, but it’s my kind of weird thing as well.
    Jen recently posted…Tis’ The Season To Sparkle Princess!My Profile

  • McMom

    Hilarious post, April. Joshua as the house narrator – I can totally see it. You really don’t want to have TF drama this close to Christmas…

    Daddy-O, can you please send me a copy of the 1040 form also? I want to be prepared, you know…

  • KT

    My littles discovered the truth about the tooth fairy, Santa, and the Easter Bunny all in the same year. Such a sad time for me. Littlest, who is 10, is a flat-out nonbeliever, not even for the sake of the magic. It breaks my heart that he is so pragmatic. Oh, and yeah, practicing math… Who does that? What a great kid!
    KT recently posted…Story Time: ‘Twas the Night Before ChristmasMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge