Thoughts on My Last Baby’s First Day of Preschool

thoughts on my last baby's first day of preschool

I tried to take his pic outside by the car, but my iPhone spazzed, and I had to re-start it. I tried again once we got to his class, with my now working phone, but JD said, “You already did,” and walked off to show his new teacher his Lightning McQueen backpack.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had a solid night’s sleep in a week. Maybe it’s because he’s my fourth son, my last baby. I don’t know, but today I dropped JD off at his first day at preschool, and I cried all the way home.

He’s three and a half, and he’s ready. We knew he was ready. He knew he was ready. His brothers are even excited for him.

Thought from my last baby's first day of preschool

And he handled it like a champ. He proudly put on his brand new Minions tennis shoes, showed me where to write his name on his new Batman lunch box, and rushed me out the door. He didn’t even pause long enough for his “First day” picture, he was just so eager to go.

And what did I do? Well, I handled it like a grown-up. I cried all the way home. I was supposed to go straight to the grocery store, but I couldn’t. I had to run home to my refuge, crying.

I’m fighting the urge to sit down in the floor with a Coca-Cola and a fat stack of baby photo albums and boo hoo.

I haven’t had days off like this since 2010. I’ve had part-time babysitters that came and took care of the boys while I went to doctor appointments, but this is different. I might finally write my book!

There is something extra special about time off when you are taking care of small children all the time. It is beyond necessary.  I hope if you are a mom of pre-schoolers that you will sanctify at least one day a week to have time off from taking care of children.

Schedule it! Make someone commit to watching those babies for you while you take 2 hours off, or whatever you can get!

Make them put it in writing.

“I promise to watch these sweet, precious children on this day at this time every single week so Mommy doesn’t lose her mind or end up with a heart problem.”

I miss that sweet little boy already. Oh, I love him so much. I can’t believe he is my last pre-schooler. I’ve had at least one preschooler, usually more, in this house for 11 years now, and suddenly I find myself almost finished with this phase. I only have 1 1/2 more years!

Oh, no. I’m going to start crying again if I talk about it. How I’ve loved it. I have loved every minute of taking care of these babies. Okay. That’s not true. I didn’t love every minute, but I loved THEM every minute.

Thoughts on My Last Baby's First Day of Preschool

JD sleeping on me just this past weekend, and Caleb showing of his latest Lego creation. I do love this job. I love it.

Sometimes I long for them at ages that they used to be that we will never get back. They are still here, but that age of them is gone forever. Sometimes I think back to, for example, baby Daniel, the round little ball of baby, my two-year-old boy who followed me around relentlessly wanting to help me do everything.

Thoughts on My Last Baby's First Day of Preschool

two-year-old Daniel

I think about rocking my babies at night, and while I don’t want to go through all that we went through again, I’d give anything just to hold one of those sweet babies and rock them and feed them.

Thoughts on My Last Baby's First Day of Preschool

holding one or two-year-old Caleb. He was a little sea-sick. (Destin, Florida)

I think about one-year-old Caleb and how he thought his big brother was the greatest person of all time. I think about them in their little Halloween costumes and how they’d take turns sitting in my lap to read books.

Okay, now I’m pouring tears, and I have clearly crossed over to the bad, bad, super sad place, so I’d better stop thinking about this.

Thoughts on My Last Baby's First Day of Preschool

Me with my very first toddler. I can still remember that feeling of new love you have when you first become a parent. It’s so much it feels like your heart could just explode with rainbows and joy.


I’m going to clean up my face, put my contacts in, and I’m going to go to Sam’s. I’m going to go be a grown-up, because that’s what you do and because we are almost out of milk and totally out of my coffee creamer. And I’m going to just be thankful for the time that I had with each of those adorable baby boys. I’ll keep enjoying them at the stages that they are now, and one day I’m going to be one awesome grandma.

Granted, I’m already under doctor’s orders to not lift any babies over 10 pounds because of my arthritis, but I can hold them in a chair, and I can take lots of Tylenol.

Then at 1:00 today, I get to pick JD back up and cuddle him for as long as he will let me, which if I put in a movie, might actually be a long time.

Thoughts on My Last Baby's First Day of Preschool

Don’t get me wrong, I have times when I’m so beaten down by kids that I’m not this sentimental, when I’m happy for a break. But today was JD’s first day of preschool, so today was not that day.

I have seen another evil under the sun, and it weighs heavily on mankind: 2 God gives some people wealth, possessions and honor, so that they lack nothing their hearts desire, but God does not grant them the ability to enjoy them, and strangers enjoy them instead.



This is meaningless, a grievous evil.

3 A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he.                         Ecclesiastes 6:1-3

Enjoy those babies while you can. I guess that’s my point. Enjoy them, but take breaks because you really can’t pour water from an empty pitcher, and you know they will drain every drop from you. Take time to refill that pitcher and enjoy those little ones. That’s what I’m doing today. I’m re-charging….and I’m buying milk.





  • Linda Lee

    Wow April. I am now in a pool of tears myself. I cried like a baby the first day Amber went to Kindergarden She did not want me to leave her. It broke my heart When I took Ethan for his first day he was fine. He even told me, “You can go now, Mom.” I shed a tear or two because my last baby was growing up. I expected that. What I did NOT expect was the emotional wreck I became when he graduated kindergarden. I sobbed. I felt like I started him out in school as a baby and sometime that year, he became a growing boy. Treat yourself to a cup of coffee and some quiet time while you can. Then get all the snuggles and cuddles you can when the kids come home. I love and miss you.

    • Thank you for sharing it on Facebook! That helps my blog grow. All I can think about is the wreck I’m going to be when they graduate high school, especially poor John David, who I’m clinging to with both arms!! I love and miss you too. JD and I cuddled in the rocking chair, watching Leapfrog after he got out of school. He had a hilarious first day–poor boy thought the urinal was a toilet and sat on it…came home wearing someone else’s clothes. LOl!!
      aprilmomoffour recently posted…Thoughts on My Last Baby’s First Day of PreschoolMy Profile

  • Des is my last baby, I think, and he’s starting kindergarten next year. I really cannot even handle the thought. My little baby! I think Des and JD would be such good friends.
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  • McMom

    Oh April. I am crying right along with you now. Children growing up is so bittersweet. “And I’m going to just be thankful for the time that I had with each of those adorable baby boys. I’ll keep enjoying them at the stages that they are now…” Such a great perspective. Being thankful for the gifts we have had and are still enjoying. Easier said that done. I’m reminded of my favorite quote from *The Hiding Place* – and I’m going to try to get it exactly – “The mind is a powerful thing. It can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.” Keep your positive and grateful perspective – it’s inspirational for the rest of us!

  • Aw, I remember how lost I felt when my last one went off to school…
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  • Jen

    I am going to cry too. We didn’t do preschool this year, because of the whole potty training imbroglio, but it’s in the works for next year, I haven’t been alone like that since the late 90’s! Oh my gosh, crazy!!!
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  • I could barely handle my middle baby starting kindergarten this year, i can’t imagine when it is my last! I may lose my cool…#happynowlinkup
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  • Nicole

    I totally cried when my last boy went to Kindergarten (we skipped preschool with the last) but I will warn you I lost it when I dropped my first off at Highschool. Kindergarten/Preschool you still get to go in and get them settled ,kiss them goodbye when I dropped him off at Highschool I was not allowed out of the van….. felt like I was dropping him off to the wolves!!! My baby (fourth boy) graduates this year….imagine the waterworks will be plenty. Enjoy your precious boys!!! We are fostering 2 little girls 18mons and 3 so we have kinda gone full circle again….haha

    • High school. I keep trying to pretend that will never happen….And wow, fostering the little girls. It always hurts to remember that there are motherless sweet babies. I am so thankful someone like you is taking care of them. Thank you so much for doing that.

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  • Wow, you moved me to tears! I’m not quite at the same point yet as you…I’ve got one more still awaiting preschool, but my little girl did just start preK this past Fall, and I too did cry. It’s hard to understand how quickly the time goes…how one minute they’re in your arms and the next you are left waving to the back of their head as they run top-speed into their new classroom, but I am doing my best to soak in every possible moment I have all while praying that I never EVER forget how these times feel on my heart.

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