I Actually Do Need a Tribe

This is the lovely Amy and Tegann. They were our friends in California, we were beyond excited to visit with them recently!

Right when you move is always at the exact moment that you’ve finally made close friends. In California, we were lucky enough to have a whole group of them.

A Good Tribe Makes Life Happier

My California neighborhood crew

It took a year, though. That first year I knew very few other people. It’s hard when you’re new!

I saw an article headline written by a mom with no tribe. I didn’t read it, so I’m not sure how she felt about that, but I am always happier when I DO have a tribe of friends.

No, actually, I’d go so far as to say I NEED a tribe of friends. It brings me happiness and encouragement. People need people. We do. Yes, I spend almost all of my time with my family, but we aren’t meant to be isolated families of people. I always carve out time to go hang with other ladies too.

When I’m hanging out with a group of gals, I laugh so hard my sides split. And I am known for my loud cackle.

Alan’s mom and her sisters hold us all in awe. Three sisters. It’s like the ultimate tribe. They text, they call, they travel together, and they support and tease each other through life.

Just today, I was at my friend Brooke’s house, thinking how much more I smile when I’m visiting with her or any of my friends or my mom, just a friend who accepts you for who you are.

It takes me over a year to develop a tribe of friends with each place, and I don’t have one here yet. My friend Brooke and I were just talking today about how lonely that is.

I need to get pro-active about that and put together a supper club…any takers??

A Good Tribe Makes Life Happier

My friend Amy, from my Virginia tribe (how I miss them!), came and visited us in California.

 

If I hadn’t missed so many MOPS meetings, I would be calling that my tribe already. I love MOPS and the ladies there, but sometimes I don’t make it because of JD or because I have work to do.

At this stage of life, we don’t have ‘time’ to pour into friendships

and that’s why we have to be extra understanding and forgiving of our friends. Everybody’s busy.

However, I think the mommy years are years when we need friends just as much as ever. I would say more than ever, but I actually can’t think of a single stage of life when we don’t desperately need a support group.

Some people find that group at church or at the playground. I seem to usually find them in my neighborhood, thought that isn’t the case here.

I’ve been blessed to belong to several AMAZING tribes of friends over the years. I just had a different group for each place that I lived. Eventually, I will have one here too. These things take time.

A year from now, I won’t be tribe-less anymore. By then, I’ll just be heart-broken to leave. How do I know? Well, I always have before, so I can be optimistic, and I’m hoping for the best and trying to remember to be friendly and speak to people. Ha! It’s hard for an introvert sometimes, but we need people too.

 

What about you? Do you have a group of pals that make you laugh ’til you cry? It’s not a tribe unless it’s both fun and supportive.

 

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14 comments

  • I agree. Not only is it hard to make friends when you are new somewhere but when you are a mom it can be even harder. When I have to bring my kiddos along sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Right after I had my third child I met with one of my friends for lunch. My precious newborn decided at that moment he would cry through the entire lunch 🙁 He is now 20 months that is the one and only time he has ever done that lol Finding friends that can relate, understand and laugh with you later about these moments can be hard. Those are true friendships.

  • I’d love a supper club! Boo to distance.
    I am not a one tribe kind of girl but I have a few. I have the kindergarten moms, even though our kids are now in 2nd grade! And I still have a tribe of preschool moms, and moms from my birth group, and co-workers from my old corporate job, and my blogging tribes. I really love them!
    Tamara recently posted…She Wore Scarlet Begonias Tucked Into Her CurlsMy Profile

  • Panda Bear

    We all need the bond. I am so glad we have so many choices in platform to stay in touch. Great story, thanks for sharing April,. Keep ’em coming!

  • Thanks for sharing such good thoughts about the importance of true friendships! I love how you have held onto your “tribes” gathered in every place that you have lived. Those true friendships are what help us to keep us looking UP into the eyes of our Best Friend of all! I’m blessed to be your neighbor over at #TuneInThursday this week.
    BettieG recently posted…Spring Brings New LifeMy Profile

  • Oh my goodness, I don’t know what I would do without my friends! I have a few different tribes as well and each of them is so special in some way. One group is a group of friends from college, one is a group from high school and younger, and one is a group wives whose husbands were all best friends growing up. We go through times where we don’t talk as much as others, but we always keep in touch with each others lives and try to get together as much as possible!

    • I hope, hope, hope to have more than 1 tribe here eventually too. I feel like my MOPS friends is forming into a tribe, but I’m still working on all of this.

  • Jen

    I feel like I have a tribe online… kind of and a super awesome family, but in real life I am just such a terribly bad friend. I try, but all of those out to dinners and get togethers always conflict with something going on. Maybe someday.
    Jen recently posted…The Girlfriends’ Guide To Thyroid Cancer SurgeryMy Profile

    • You totally have a tribe online. I enjoy being a part of it. I think trying is all that’s required. I don’t make it out that much, but when I do, it’s so worth it.

  • April – I completely agree with you – I so need a tribe of women who get me. I have been blessed enough that I haven’t had to move very often, but when I did, it was always hard to meet someone new and step out in building new friendships. I don’t know what I would do without most of them in my life.

    I am so very honored that you were able to join the community at #TuneInThursday this past week. Praying I see you again in a few mo.
    Debbie Kitterman recently posted…All I am is Yours & Tune In Thursday #10My Profile

  • I wish I had more of a tribe! I have a couple of Mummy friends but it’s always difficult finding the time to get together. I\d absolutely love to have a group of us that could let off steam together! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo