The Power in the Things We Say


I can’t get over the stupid things people say to pregnant women, y’all! 

The power of words is an amazing thing, don’t you think?  Words have the power to build people up or squash a person like a bug.  Words can unite countries or begin wars.  Words make friends and enemies.  We remember certain things people say to us for years and years after we’ve forgotten everything else.

As you might imagine, this is something I deal with frequently, in my current condition.  Now, I will grant you that I realize I am an interesting sight to behold, though I often forget until it is pointed out to me by a stranger or acquaintance.  I’m a sight anyway, with my flaming red hair, walking around with three little boys, but add a giant pregnant belly onto that, and it is an open invitation for…….words.

 

   Some of it is quite humorous, and I am admittedly laughing in my head at some of the comments, but then there are others…. 

There are others that serve only to remind me that to the common observer I look like a whale, and why do I look so big?
  
   Why does it bother me, though?  Most of these comments come from well meaning people, who simply are amazed at how big my belly is and want to talk to me about it.  There’s really nothing wrong with that.  
 

  With that said, I think the women here have been nicer to me than any women I have ever known.  My friends in my neighborhood and at church have all been so kind and supportive.  I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me.  I have never experienced so much niceness when it comes to remarks about my pregnancy!

 So words also have a wonderful power that I need to use more often!  They have the power to encourage, inspire, and build up.

 “I don’t think anyone ever committed a mean act because too many people had been nice to them.  Indeed the opposite is usually the case.”

 

I need to take notes to MYSELF from all of this.  Let this be a lesson to me how important it is to say kind things to others.  

I need to make that my goal for this year:  to notice the good things about others and thank them for it!  Words really can make or break your day, even if it is a silly thing.

 The fact is we all hate having our feelings hurt.  Yet, I cannot say to the man on the street who says I must be having twins that that hurts my feelings.  Wait.  Maybe I could.  It would be awfully funny to see their face when I said it……hmmm..  

What do I say to such remarks!?  

I wish I knew.  I’m a delayed reactor as it is, but when I hear such things I’m always so surprised that I simply say nothing and smile.  Of course, I always think of dozens of things to say later on…..not really nice things though….

 Here, for your reading enjoyment, are comments I have received about the way I look, just this week:

 1.) lady at bounce place, where I took the kids:

“How far along are you?”

 Me:  (inwardly dreading her response to my answer)  6 1/2 months.

Lady:  *eyes widen*  Oh!

Me:  ….smiling politely

Lady:    You just look further along than that.

Me:  smiling politely

Lady:  *beginning to realize she may have hurt my feelings, I guess*  “Oh, well, you’re just so tiny that it really sticks out on you.”

(actually that helps)

 

#2.) I was taking a nap when Joshua rushed into my room to wake me up b/c someone was at the door.  I troop downstairs, still half asleep, and discover two packages and a man standing on the doorstep.  

 I figured he must be the mail or UPS delivery man, and I went to work scooping up the packages, not really paying him much attention, until I began to realize he wasn’t leaving.

He said, “So how far along are you?  I don’t mean to be rude.  It’s just that your legs are so skinny, I figured you must be…”

Now I hadn’t really looked at him until he said this b/c I was still in my drowsy state and wasn’t thinking about him, only the boxes (Dan’s birthday present from my parents), so I looked up at him and almost laughed at this unusual comment.

“6 1/2 months”  I said.  Hey, at least this salesman knew how to be nice!

He started to give a spill about roofing, so I interrupted him and let him know we’re just the renters here.

“Oh,” he said, “well, then I guess your landlords probably take care of that sort of thing.  So is this your second baby?”

…..Now what you don’t know is that I was wearing very minimal make-up, straightened hair, blue jeans, and a long sleeve t-shirt.  I looked way too young to have to say what I had to say in response to that question…

 I hesitated a minute, b/c for some reason I sometimes find this to be an embarrassing answer….

 “Actually, it’s my fourth, ” I said and chuckled because sure enough his mouth did unintentionally drop open…

 If only Alan could have been around.  He loves shocking people so much, and I really should just embrace it too.  Why start trying to fit in now?

 

3.) This one was today, from my chiropractor, who really knows better:

I walked in for treatment, and he said, “Let me guess, it’s twins and one is a girl!” 

 Now I go there every two weeks, so he knows good and well that I don’t like it when people comment on how huge I am–because I’ve told him that– and I am certainly not having a girl, which he knows that too.  

 My best guess is that he thought he was funny.   Sometimes I’m not sure I understand some people’s definition of funny!

 

4.)  Also today:  

  Caleb:  That baby is ready to come out.  He’s coming out any day.

 You know what’s funny?  Those little boys can say whatever they want about my belly, and it doesn’t bother me at all.  

 I tell them all the time, “Look how huge my belly is,” so really they are okay.  Perhaps I should teach them to be sure to never say that about anyone else’s belly though…..

And now I know that I’m not exactly known for being April the Sweet Darling, so I’m going to work on this myself!  I do not want to bring people down, but bring people up with my words!  

 Words can make someone’s day, especially sincere ones, and I need to be better about complimenting the good in people!

 

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In other news:  I saw my midwife today.  

Believe it or not, my belly measured one week behind.  (Take that, pregnancy bullies.)   I took yet another glucose test, hopefully my final.  (They always think I have the gestational diabetes b/c I keep giving birth to massive babies.)  

 At my next appointment (April 24), I get to schedule my c-section, and I will even know which doctor will be performing it.  Roll Tide!

stats:  

blood pressure:  120/69

weight gain:  total 22 pounds, but only 5 lbs since my visit 4 weeks ago, which is insanely good for me, in the third trimester!  I’ve usually gained about 30 pounds by now.

baby’s heart rate:  in the 150s  (normal)

fundal height (uterine measurement):  26 weeks  

 The midwife said that could just be the way the baby is lying.  This has always been a much greater predictor for me though, than ultrasond estimates.  

 The ultrasound tech always thinks my baby is average sized, but the doc always starts shaking their head around 32 weeks, and saying, “You’re measuring a few weeks ahead…” and sure enough, a baby with “macrosomia”     (large body for gestational age) pops out.  

 I think pregnancy is so weird and interesting!  

Hope you all have an interesting but happy Easter weekend, and may no one spoil your day with unkind words!      

 

 

 



The Chimney of Death

Okay, before I tell you about the chimney of death, I must show you Daniel, playing in his very first gigantic rain puddle.  This puddle was more like a small pond.  The older boys were all pretending to fish in it (Joshua and company), but Daniel, being young and unbridled, just splashed right into the center of the thing.  He got a gooood bath when he got home, needless to say.  Thankfully, it wasn’t cold today.

 

Okay, now about our chimney!  I mentioned on my last post that the basement still smelled really bad, even after having removed the FIVE dead squirrels from above the flu.  Alan decided that must mean that there are still some more squirrel carcasses up there, so he donned his heavy duty work gloves and reached a little further, and more to the right….

 

two more carcasses and one more newly deceased.

 

I texted our land lady the story.  She texted back, “omg.  That is so gross.”

 

How bizarre is this craziness!!??  Did the older dead squirrels live in the chimney during the time we have been living here?  If so, I certainly never heard them.

 

Also, squirrels are very social animals, I think the chimney of death goes to show they will not leave a fellow squirrel forsaken.  Search and rescue teams will be dispatched.

I just hope that this will put an end to the neighborhood squirrel genocide being committed by our fireplace!!  I actually like squirrels!

 

 

 

 

SQUIRRELS!!!!!

Most importantly, I must tell you all that I have news about Amy and Greg and their baby, but Alan has informed me that there is reportedly a gag order on any publishing of the event, so email me and I’ll give you the scoop!!!!

 

Oh, I have a really crazy squirrel story to tell you.

There’s even a picture, but you’ll have to ask Alan for that b/c it’s on his iPad, which I don’t have here with me.  Anyway!

While we thought that we had provided a safe path of escape for our chimney squirrel and had concluded that he was gone, this weekend we began to smell a smell in the basement that made us think otherwise….Ugh!

 

That’s the worst smell b/c not only does it stink, but the thought of what’s causing it is so repulsive!

 

Alan, while I was not at home (thank goodness!) decided to simply reach up into the chimney and remove the source of the smell (dead squirrel).  So……..Alan put on a good pair of thick gloves, opened the flu, and reached up in there to retrieve our friend, but as he reached up his hand seemed to feel more than just a dead squirrel……

 

Instead, Alan discovered one, two, three older dead squirrels, squirrels that the hair had already rotted off of.

 

Yes, you can take a break to go barf if you’d like……

 

Alan put the squirrels in the garbage bag and felt back in there until he found our recently deceased squirrel, pulled him out and disposed of him as well.  It was so sad and so disturbing at the same time.

 

We think we have the chimney fixed so that this will not happen again.  However, the basement STILL stinks.  Can anyone explain that?  I don’t understand!  The basement was odorless until a few days ago, but being pregnant I am particularly sensitive to pungent smells and find myself getting behind on laundry due to my reluctance to go down there.

 

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Now I am off to do some cooking!  We have a yummy dinner planned for this evening, and yet my picky little eaters still think sweet potatoes are yucky…..*eye rolling* tisk tisk.

 

They say the best way to get a picky eater to eat something is to present it over and over and over again, making it become a familiar food, and that’s the thing about casseroles.  They only get presented a couple times a year, making them look more like Alien food (around here anyway)!

 

But we just keep trying, in the words of Dori from Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!”

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