Aughhhhhhh!!!! Daniel!!!!!!!! Confessions of a Toddler Mom

  Many of you remember the great escapades that were accomplished by Caleb as a 2 and 3 year old…..throwing raw eggs, tiger striping the office, naked trampoline jumping, naked running through the front yard, falling into various types of rodent traps…….hmm on second thought, maybe Daniel isn’t so bad…..

Over the years Caleb has mellowed greatly.  He still likes to study how things work, live in pajamas, be naked, and use markers, but he has a greater understanding now of when certain things are appropriate and when they are not.

Plus, Alan instituted a rule that every time you say the words poo-poo or fart, you have to go wash your hands.  Since our boys think hand washing is an act of horror, we have seen a fantastic improvement in Caleb’s vocabulary.  Way to go, Alan!!!!

……As Caleb has finally mellowed into a darling five-year-old who makes friends everywhere he goes, enter DANIEL.

Man, did Dan give me a run for my money today!  Here is a list of his accomplishments, from just today:

  1. Used child-proof medicine bottles as rattles.  (It was a storage shifting situation.  Please don’t freak out, call CPS, or send me emails…..)  I replaced them with actual rattles.
  1. found a bag of his favorite Halls cough drops, unwrapped a couple and ate them, emptied the rest of the bag into the floor while he worked on unwrapping more…..until I discovered him.  I took him downstairs and gave him some actual food.  He devouredhis yogurt.

  1. emptied an ice cream bucket of Legos into the floor.  Nothing unusual.  He does that every day.  It’s the only way I know how to keep him busy so I can cook dinner!

  1. finger painted with chocolate pudding:  painted his booster seat, his body, his clothes, and his place at the table.  Not much of the pudding was actually consumed.

Would you believe this is an actual recommended activity in this “Busy Toddlers” book that I paid money for!?  I don’t care how ‘enriching’ this experience was.  It was a MESS, and the amount of time it took to clean up was greater than the amount of time it kept him busy.  He did seriously enjoy it, but I hope the chocolate comes out of his clothes!

  1. ripped all the pop-outs out of his newest pop-up book.  Our kids have never been ones to tear books, but apparently that rule doesn’t apply to pop-ups.  Lesson here:  Don’t buy him a pop-up book for his birthday.

  1.  dumped a bowl of dry Apple Jacks between the recliner and the side table

All in one day.  All in one day!

I did notice two accomplishments as well, though.

I was getting ready to leave and discovered that he had put on his own hat and one glove, all by himself, which he seemed to be rather proud of.  Yay, Dan!Also, and this is kind of unbelievable to me, he can already put together little bitty Lego men.  He can put together Duplo and Mega blocks as well.

Oh!  Alan took his pacifiers away three or four days ago, and it wasn’t even an issue.  He gave them up without a fight. He’s officially ready to turn two!

And hopefully, tomorrow will be less eventful!!


The Chimney of Death

Okay, before I tell you about the chimney of death, I must show you Daniel, playing in his very first gigantic rain puddle.  This puddle was more like a small pond.  The older boys were all pretending to fish in it (Joshua and company), but Daniel, being young and unbridled, just splashed right into the center of the thing.  He got a gooood bath when he got home, needless to say.  Thankfully, it wasn’t cold today.


Okay, now about our chimney!  I mentioned on my last post that the basement still smelled really bad, even after having removed the FIVE dead squirrels from above the flu.  Alan decided that must mean that there are still some more squirrel carcasses up there, so he donned his heavy duty work gloves and reached a little further, and more to the right….


two more carcasses and one more newly deceased.


I texted our land lady the story.  She texted back, “omg.  That is so gross.”


How bizarre is this craziness!!??  Did the older dead squirrels live in the chimney during the time we have been living here?  If so, I certainly never heard them.


Also, squirrels are very social animals, I think the chimney of death goes to show they will not leave a fellow squirrel forsaken.  Search and rescue teams will be dispatched.

I just hope that this will put an end to the neighborhood squirrel genocide being committed by our fireplace!!  I actually like squirrels!






Most importantly, I must tell you all that I have news about Amy and Greg and their baby, but Alan has informed me that there is reportedly a gag order on any publishing of the event, so email me and I’ll give you the scoop!!!!


Oh, I have a really crazy squirrel story to tell you.

There’s even a picture, but you’ll have to ask Alan for that b/c it’s on his iPad, which I don’t have here with me.  Anyway!

While we thought that we had provided a safe path of escape for our chimney squirrel and had concluded that he was gone, this weekend we began to smell a smell in the basement that made us think otherwise….Ugh!


That’s the worst smell b/c not only does it stink, but the thought of what’s causing it is so repulsive!


Alan, while I was not at home (thank goodness!) decided to simply reach up into the chimney and remove the source of the smell (dead squirrel).  So……..Alan put on a good pair of thick gloves, opened the flu, and reached up in there to retrieve our friend, but as he reached up his hand seemed to feel more than just a dead squirrel……


Instead, Alan discovered one, two, three older dead squirrels, squirrels that the hair had already rotted off of.


Yes, you can take a break to go barf if you’d like……


Alan put the squirrels in the garbage bag and felt back in there until he found our recently deceased squirrel, pulled him out and disposed of him as well.  It was so sad and so disturbing at the same time.


We think we have the chimney fixed so that this will not happen again.  However, the basement STILL stinks.  Can anyone explain that?  I don’t understand!  The basement was odorless until a few days ago, but being pregnant I am particularly sensitive to pungent smells and find myself getting behind on laundry due to my reluctance to go down there.




Now I am off to do some cooking!  We have a yummy dinner planned for this evening, and yet my picky little eaters still think sweet potatoes are yucky…..*eye rolling* tisk tisk.


They say the best way to get a picky eater to eat something is to present it over and over and over again, making it become a familiar food, and that’s the thing about casseroles.  They only get presented a couple times a year, making them look more like Alien food (around here anyway)!


But we just keep trying, in the words of Dori from Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!”

1 236 237 238 239