Arguing is the Thing That Gets on My Nerves the Most

You know what gets on my nerves the most? Arguing.

Arguing is the thing that gets on my nerves the most.

All the kinds of arguing. I know when my kids argue it just means I’m going to end up having to deal with it. I know when my husband and I argue, I’m going to say something I regret.

And yet, sometimes I find myself being argumentative. In fact, if someone tells me to do something I don’t want to do, I can become downright belligerent.

It’s like a scab. You know you shouldn’t mess with the scab. You should let it heal, but sometimes you just GOTTA pick at that scab.

And then it’s all bleeding again….and then you’re all looking for tissues. Then it’s time to leave the house, and the worst of it was that the scab was on your face, and now you have to try to put some make-up on it.

And it’s just a big mistake.

Arguing is usually a mistake.

But then other times, arguing almost has to happen. If there’s anything I’ve learned about arguing though, it’s that it’s best to do in person and NEVER over text. Over text, people can’t hear the charming tone of your voice, and they may not know that you’re a person that makes a lot of jokes…

I keep a little tab in my Bible journal about arguing.

We all read things differently and have different take aways, so arguments happen. We simply don’t always agree with each other.

Nor should we expect to always agree with each other. I think the gist of the Bible verses I have found is to avoid arguing over things that don’t matter.

(If only I could always let the little things go…)

We have to keep our focus on the right things, and then we are less likely to argue about the wrong things.

Plus, as I tell my children, we have to not be selfish and give others a little space.

Sometimes, to avoid arguing, I will try to keep quiet too long. And then I explode, and it gets ugly. Clearly, that’s not the way to go either.

 

Most people are somewhat reasonable and will listen to what you have to say, so long as you just talk and don’t get all worked up.

Arguing is the thing that gets on my nerves the most.

Thankfully, Alan is super reasonable, which is a good thing, since I’m married to him.

But maybe you aren’t dealing with a reasonable person, and that’s where you have to decide if you want to deal with their hissy fit or pouting, or if you want to go along with their way as usual.

The only thing is, if you go along with their way every single time, they will never learn to deal with disappointment. Some people are like children. They still need to learn that lesson. We can give many times, but if we are always the one to give, explosions may happen. It’s better to gently state your case and hold your ground from the get-go.

The Bible puts it pretty pointedly.

“And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth and that they will come to their senses & escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”                     2 Timothy 2:24-26

Now some of you may be thinking that I must be coming off a big argument which caused me to write about all this, but if I had, I would be too mad to write about all this. Instead, I figured I’d write about my pet peeve while I’m not actually in the middle of arguing with anyone.

Okay, pet peeve #2 is whining, begging three-year-olds, and I have one at my feet right this second, BEGGING to paint.

So yeah, time to go paint…

What about you? What’s your pet peeve?

 

 

The Importance of Joy

joy1

 

I have been focusing my Bible reading on joy this past month. See, I have every reason to have joy, but I also have just enough daily life aggravations to sometimes forget to experience joy.

And that left me wondering, “People are always saying to choose joy. How do you do that? Is it a choice?”

Sometimes it is a choice, and you can focus your mind in such a way, and pray, and be doing right things so that you do experience more joy.

But sometimes life is hard, hard, hard, and only a nitwit could possibly be joyful under the circumstances. I don’t think God expects us to be happy during a tragedy, but what about when there is no tragedy?

Right now there is no great tragedy in my life, but there are oodles of nuisances, nitnoid problems, stresses, and hard things.

For instance, this morning was “Sunday dress” day at my boys’ school. See, it’s grandparent day, which we are actually thrilled about, so the school is having the kids put on a presentation, and they want them to look nice. Perfectly reasonable, so it’s my job to make sure the House of Many Little Men is well represented. I’m not complaining about it, and if I had children who enjoyed dressing up, this would not have caused Alan and me serious tension and a pinch in my left shoulder that will not go away.

By the time it was done, I gave up on “well represented” and settled for “at least meets the rule requirements.” They marched in to school wearing nice shirts, khaki pants, belts, and rough-looking tennis shoes. The mere idea of brown Sunday shoes scandalized the boys past where I could push after already dealing with everyone’s dissatisfaction over not going to school dressed like homeless people  wearing t-shirts.

great listening

I was crazy excited to hear he did a good job listening and is doing well in kindergarten. Kindergarten is so emotional for mommas!! Note his collared-shirt. Totally meets the “Sunday dress” requirement. 🙂

I love my sweet boys. They had well recovered by the time I dropped them off. They happily told me they loved me and went inside. They couldn’t wait for their grandparents to arrive and visit the Book Fair. You’d have never known what a battle ground getting dressed had been.

But I took a little longer to recover. Why is that? I don’t know. My nerves were shot. Getting kids ready for school any day is tiring. Doing it on “Sunday dress” day is straight up torture. (And YES, I’m beyond thankful I don’t have to braid anyone’s hair!!  It was enough of a struggle just to get all of their hairs to LAY down!!!) I thought to myself that it would take a whole lot of extra Jesus to help me this morning.

When you feel like this, I hope you will turn to your Bible instead of to other things, like  bad food or alcohol. I know. I know. Everyone loves to joke about numbing the pain with a nice glass of wine or a whole box of chocolates. But that is temporary. For true joy, you need God’s Word.

This is a fallen world we are living in, and we all sometimes need help in the joy department. Joy is important. For me, joy is knowing I’ve done the right things, and I have a clear path in front of me. Joy is letting go of any pent-up feelings of resentment that I am harboring. Joy is being directed by the Lord, and feeling what I’m doing is useful.

I will be writing more about this. It’s much too big a topic for only one blog post.

I hope you will take a little time to open your Bible today, and see what God’s Word actually says. The world puts a ton of misinformation out there about our Christian beliefs, and some so-called Christians can discourage you with their attitude. Don’t let that happen! Don’t let the negativity get to you. Open up that Holy Bible, and the Scriptures will speak to you in ways you don’t expect, if not right away, then just keep reading.

Well, John David got soaked in the water hose, and I have to go change him now. And no, he’s not wearing “Sunday dress”. Maybe when his grandparents arrive, they can change him into nicer digs for me. Ha!!

“There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for all those who promote peace.”    Proverbs 12:20

 

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”   Matthew 6:33

“When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.”   –C. S. Lewis