Most of this week I walked around with a seriously bad attitude.
First of all, when I wake up in the morning, my brain literally hurts. I think I should really be going to bed around 9pm, not 10:30pm. I’ll spare you the whining about why I need so much sleep!
I basically have been “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” and staying disgruntled and feeling sorry for myself all day long.
Until Wednesday night.
I was pouring out my tale of woe to Alan, who had scored zero bonus points that night by working very late, when he said something really ridiculously simple that spun my frown upside down!
He said, “Tell me your top 5 things that you’re unhappy with right now.”
I rattled off 5 of my little worries, and then Alan replied, “Now let’s look at each one and see what’s causing them.”
1. My house is always messy–toys in the floor–unfinished puzzles on tables–dirty socks in the floor—library books all over the coffee table–kids’ jackets lying about–and on and on– It’s embarrassing. If I kept it in perfect condition, I would have to stay up super late, never blog, and fuss at everyone all day long to clean up their stuff. I don’t like nagging people.
Alan said: “Your house is messy because of two things, and I don’t know which is worse: because your house is so big or because you have so many beautiful, healthy boys here.”
Now, at first, a small part of me thought, “Yeah but…” but then I quickly felt silly and grateful instead.
I do know that being given four boys is a serious blessing, and I’m so thankful we have this big house to put us all in!
I don’t remember all 5 of my complaints, nor do I wish to share all 5, but let me share two more to really get my point across:
2. I want to do The Great Clean Out so bad. I want to go through this whole house and just banish every single item we do not need, and I want everything to be labeled and organized. No matter how hard I try, it seems like I just get stuck doing laundry, dishes, and cooking! I’ll never get this de-cluttering done!!!
Alan’s response: “So you have goals, and they’re not happening as fast as you’d like, but at least you have goals. You have things you would like to do and accomplish, something to work towards.”
Oh…..also a blessing….
3. I wasn’t about to say it, but for #5 Alan said, “You hate my job.”
Okay, in my defense, Alan’s job changes every year or so, so there have been respites where it’s not so stressful, but most of the time he has a stressful job with long hours, or even worse, it takes him out of the country all together.
So yes, sometimes I hate Alan’s job.
.…..BUT Alan said, “My job gives us food on the table, clothes on our back, and lets us do all these things we like to do.”
Yes, he is right, and great medical benefits too.
Sometimes I hate it when Alan is right, but this time I was thankful that he was. I suddenly felt positively giddy. I really did.
WOW!
What a great life we have! It may not be perfect, but by golly it’s our life, and I’d better enjoy it RIGHT NOW.
It’ll be over very soon, and I’d hate to look back and wonder why I spent the whole thing grumpy and striving for someone else’s idea of perfection.
The last two days have been so much fun. I’m just as happy as can be, and some of my friends have said some really nice things to me too, which made me feel even happier. My smile is back, and it is here to stay.
Oh, how I love my life–whining toddlers, achy brain, dirty socks and all!!!! I have got to stop focusing on that and focus on this:
joy:
- brothers that are actually friends
- children that help with the baby
- the sweetest little baby I can imagine
- oh-so-adorable Daniel
- Alan–oh!–I still get excited when he calls me!
- pretty weather days!
- chocolate!
- having friends that I can call on
- Disney’s Frozen (hehehe)
That’s not even half of it. I have no right to ever complain again.
For more attitude posts see these:
No one should be expected to always be 100% happy all the time, but this attitude adjustment was exactly what I needed. It is all about perspective and being grateful.
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I’m so glad your husband helped you let go of what was holding you hostage. We all do this to ourselves constantly, which is why it is so important to have a spouse who will remind us to cast away the absolute nonsense we impose on ourselves which turns us into someone we especially can not stand. From there, it’s a real downward spiral.
Sometimes I feel sorry for this version of myself, too. Brand new house, too big to keep clean, five children not helping enough, husband messy in different ways than the messy ways I prefer, etc. But your husband is right, and so is mine… it’s because of all we have. All we have that so many people think “If only I had that, my life would be perfect!” I used to be one of those people who thought that way. If I had a nice house and a big new car and… I would never be unhappy about a thing.
Then we get the big new house and the big new car and realize some people have all of this AND they make it look effortless. There we go again not measuring up to other people.
Comparison is a bad, bad thing. I think I was taught this a long time ago. And I forget it pretty much every day.
Thanks! I forget it pretty much everyday too! Constantly reminding myself!
Proverbs 16:20 He that handles a matter wisely shall find good: and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he. ~Daddy-O