Delaying Dreams When You are Busy Being Mom

In my head, and even sometimes on paper, I always have at least 10 good ideas for things I want to write about on my blog.

I even sometimes manage to write it all out in my head, exactly what I will write….if I can just get a minute…..to make that my priority.

Just this week, there was a delicious 7 layer cake that I made, numerous thoughts on my first year of parenting 4 children, even more thoughts on John David’s first year, there have been countless farewell thank you’s I have wanted to say, and people I wanted to recognize, and 5 years of DC experiences I’d love to reminisce. There have been hilarious quotes from my children, public embarrassment that we have suffered, brilliant ideas that I’ve gotten from my friends……oh the list goes on and on.

But the thing is I’m too busy. Even now, it is 10pm, and I really should be sleeping because it is Sunday night, we had a non-stop weekend, and I am exhausted.

I guess it will be a long, long time before I finish that book I started two years ago.

Do you know why? I’m just too busy being a mom and enjoying life to get much actual work done.

Maybe when we move and none of us have any friends, I’ll write more. This blog will serve as my notes. If life ever slows down, I will have this blog to look back on this phase of constant activity and young, precious, needy little ones to care for. I will look back and remember. How I love it!!  I do!

Alan and I did not start out our marriage planning to have a ‘big family,’ and really, our family isn’t all that big–just a little above average. I’m so thankful that we took the chance and that God blessed us the way that he has.

“Who am I, O LORD God, and what is mine house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?”   1 Chronicles 17:16

It was actually even tastier than it looks, thank you very much.

Today I sold my breast pump to a lady exactly my age.

She is 4 months pregnant and excited to become a stay-at-home-mom. She asked me how I like it. “It’s great!” I told her, “and I think it’s easier.” I do. Well, it’s just a little less to juggle–no career stress and no childcare stress. Good childcare is hard to find–and that especially matters when you are having to find full-time childcare.

Staying home with my children is a privilege–a privilege that many women cannot afford to have, and I am so thankful for it.

I keep reading about ways to “make money blogging.” I would love to make money blogging. Is it going to happen anytime soon? Nope. I just can’t make myself do it. I have approval from an ad agency sitting in my email account. All I would have to do is code it into my site to just get the ball rolling. Eventually, I will. It won’t make much at first, but it would be a first step. I would love to make enough eventually to send my children to a good private school… one day.

But that day is not today. Today I start to blog, and I hear Daniel ask me to read him a book….okay…of course I will….Then I start to blog later, and I hear JD waking up from his nap. Nope, not blogging time yet. Then there are mouths to feed, messes to clean up, errands to run, diapers to change…..well you get the idea. Is it really possible to ‘work from home’ with two toddlers under foot?

By 10 pm, my duties are somewhat done. Not really. There are pans in the sink from that cake I made. 7 layers, people!!

(In my defense, I did run the dishwasher.)  I didn’t do any laundry today, so I have four full hampers to contend with tomorrow, at least. On Sunday, I deserve the day off from the laundry, so no guilt there.

So at 10pm, my chores are at a stopping place, and I can finally blog. I think I would need more than just an hour every few nights to build a profitable website.

These other little jobs are just more important to me than any blogging or writing or money ever will be. This is such a short phase, and I want to enjoy it because you know what? Babies don’t keep.