Why I will never have a dog
I have a ton of photos of beautiful places and precious people that we’ve seen here in Alabama and Georgia. It will take a while for me to get those photos all uploaded and cropped just how I like them, so check back in just a couple of days–maybe even tomorrow!!
For now, let me tell you why I will never have a dog.
Tonight I was giving Dan and JD their bath. I got JD out, dressed him, and all of that, when I heard Daniel calling me back to the bathroom.
There was my three-year-old, standing in the bathtub, along with 3 toy cars, a toy man, and two floating logs. I screamed a little–not words–I didn’t scream words–just Aaaaaaaaaughhhhhhh!!! That’s right. He pooped in the tub.
Don’t like reading about poop? Well, imagine how I felt about cleaning it up. Oh, it gets worse. I took Dan out of the water, only to discover that some of it had fallen off of him….onto the mat. I screamed again. Joshua and Caleb immediately came running to see. Then they started whooping and carrying on because boys think there is nothing funnier in this world than poop.
I put Dan on the potty, went to clean him up, but he said, “NO! More poop.”
“You aren’t done!?”
“No.”
Yes, I washed the mat in hot water. Yes, I eventually got Daniel all cleaned up. Yes, I disinfected the bathtub from all of the e-coli.
This is my job. This is also why I will never ever have a dog.
We could use one to clean up under the high chair and help my boys over their fear of canines, but I don’t care. If I have to clean up fecal matter from another single living organism, I will hurl. I see those people walking their dogs with those little plastic baggies, and I shudder. At least with the diapers, I don’t have to feel like I’m scooping it up with my hands….until someone poops in the tub. This is only the 2nd time this has happened to me, and ew ew ew!! I feel a little bit violated.
It’s amazing how much this still grosses me out, even after 8 years of taking care of little ones, but it does.
If you ever feel sad about missing ‘the baby phase’ or wish you still had a chubby little cherub running around your house–just think about the days of floaters and e coli.
Now I hate for you to leave my blog feeling as grossed out as I did, sooooo I’m going to leave you with a happy image to take with you:
I feel your pain. Evan once decided to wipe himself after he pooped and he used the bath mat as toilet paper. After being a dog owner for 12 years and changing a ridiculous amount of diapers, I am done! Evan begs for a dog every day but I can’t do it anymore.
Ha! Catherine, too funny!
This is too funny and also yucky! Is this Nevada?
Arrrgh! Poor you! Sure, scooping dog poop is gross. But somehow people poop is in its own category of grossness. Sad thng is that ait won’t be too long now before my kids are paying somebody to scoop mine and to rotate me for bedsores. 😮 (cue ominous march of death music) Gahahahaa! Great post – really enjoyed this!
Ha! Thank you! And yes, we are all headed that way..
My wife also does not want a dog!
Your wife is an intelligent woman!!
I just voted as well; you deserve it! 🙂
Haha, oh no!! I have had a few bathtub incidents as well–they really are so gross! I too will never have a dog for the same reasoning as yours. Glad to have a like spirited lady! 😉
It’s always great to learn that someone thinks like I do! Too bad we have to share something so full of ick!! Thank you so, so much for voting!! 🙂