funny stories

My name is April, and I am addicted to Facebook.

Facebook is holding me back. I’ll tell you what I mean.

Tonight I really wanted to go to bed early. My new “good habit” for this month, via coachcox.com is getting 8 hours of sleep per night.

Stop shaking your head and chuckling.

I can do it.

Can YOU? That’s right. I’m literally taking a SLEEP challenge. I’ve never been so happy to accept a challenge. 🙂

Coach Cox doesn’t really call it a sleep challenge. He calls it building healthy habits. I think sleep challenge sounds more fun. 😉 The Water Challenge worked out really nicely for me, so I have high hopes.

I WAS going to go to bed at 10, but first, I HAD to clean the house up. I have no visions of grandeur when it comes to cleaning house. I set a timer for 60 minutes and clean. Once my timer goes off, it’s “Sorry, house.”

I just spent 30 minutes on my hands and knees scrubbing food stains out of my dining room carpet. We do not have an eat-in kitchen. We only have a dining room. Who puts wall-to-wall carpet in the eating area?

My timer went off, so then I HAD to check Facebook. What if one of my friends has something important to say about Caitlyn Jenner, how much they love their sister, Lynard Skynard, or modest clothing, and I MISS IT??? 😉

No, I’m kidding, but if you know me at all, then you know I check Facebook everyday. Actually, that’s not true. You only know that if YOU also check Facebook everyday.

We should have a support group.

Hi. My name is April, and I check Facebook more than once a day.

There I said it. I mostly go on there to see if there’s anything new that pertains to me. Do I have any new messages? Did anyone read my blog? Does anyone ever read my blog?

At one point, the book of Faces introduced “top friends”. This is where you star your top friends, and then it tells you every blessed time they post something new. This is a bad idea. Now when I go on Facebook, I see the blue world lit up with the number 3 or something on it, and I think, “Ooo! I have something new!” Then I click the world, and lo and behold, it’s just telling me that one of the random friends that I starred, that one day that I starred a few people, uploaded a new photo via Instagram.

Anyway. Once I check my blue world, I instantly get sucked in by my news feed. It’s like the newspaper, or t.v., only these are people I actually know!!! Yes, for some reason, I DO want to look at 10 pictures of your new puppy. And YES! I DO need to read this new and sensational article from Matt Walsh.

I’m not being sarcastic. I DO.

What’s funny is that even with all the time I spend on Facebook, the FB powers that be still do not understand me!!  Not. at. all. You know those ads in the sidebar? They keep trying to sell me sewing machines.

If something rips in our house, it means either we never get to wear it again, or Alan has to sew it up. Actually, my sewing machine and kit are currently living at Alan’s school’s engineering building, where he has been using it for design projects, believe it or not.

Facebook, just because I’m a home schooling mom of four does not mean I love sewing. We don’t wear bibs on our clothing or run around barefoot either. Oh, wait, yes we do do that last one.

Also, Facebook doesn’t even show my latest blog posts to ALAN in HIS news feed. I get it. They have their algorithms or whatever, but Alan reads everything I post. You’d think I would at least make it into my husband’s news feed.

You should star me, Alan. We can be “top friends.”

Did you know that if you have a Facebook business/blog/community/whatever page, they give you insights about your audience, as they continue to try to convince you to BUY news feed space? Facebook, I refuse to pay you to be in anyone’s news feed. Stop asking. If only 100 people see my story, then it must not have been relevant to more than 100  people. Let’s just leave it at that.

According to Facebook pages, my blog is most popular in Alabama, Virginia, and California. No surprise there.

So there you have it. This is my Facebook junkie confession. For some reason, it does not feel like a badge of honor…hmmm  Maybe this summer I will have so much fun that I will only check the ‘book once/day…

Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving the party.

1.) I have a need to see your kids’ “last day of school” photos and newborn babies. I can’t help it. I NEED to see them.

2.) Facebook is my #1 source for blog viewers, so thank you, FB friends!

3.) Facebook is like television for me. It kills ridiculous amounts of time, and leaves me typically feeling discouraged by the news and confused about status updates that leave you hanging.

4.) It helps me keep up with friends and family.

5.) Stuff like this–hilarious!

IHappy Hump Day! I’ll be packing soon. We are Bama Bound!! All of my summer clothes are in under-bed bags, so I’d better start digging! I hear it’s hot there.

aprilmomoffour

April is an upbeat, Christian, blog-obsessed, military wife, and home schooling mom of four little boys. She writes about education, travel, and humorous adventures in parenting. Follow along if you’d like a little bit of encouragement and a whole lot of crazy.

View Comments

  • I couldn't stand facebook and I deactivated my account.
    I start to think I'm antisocial lol.
    Love your post!

  • I'm amazed you have the stamina to clean for a whole hour after the kids go to bed! I get angry if I spend more than 15 or 20 minutes cleaning up. What i it about articles shared on FB that just suck us all in? I totally get it. And I'm pretty darn impressed if you get 100 shares from FB for a post! Thanks for sharing with the #MommyReality challenge!

    • I drink a lot of coffee. ;) But just to clarify, I NEVER get 100 shares. I meant that only 100 people even see it in their feed. Ha!

  • "According to Facebook pages, my blog is most popular in Alabama, Virginia, and California. No surprise there."

    And Alaska because I LOVE your blog (But I'm a native California girl who is moving back to California in two months, so maybe I count as Alaska-California)! I feel like your biggest fan right now, so please keep blogging away.

    P.S. I'm a Facebook Addict too! I keep uninstalling it from my phone and then I reinstall it because it makes uploading pictures so much easier! Madness I tell ya! I need to try a technology fast.

    • Oh, thank you SO MUCH. I really appreciate encouragement like this. Welcome back to California--well in just 2 months!
      The uninstalling and re-installing. I have done that too. So funny.

  • Now I want cereal for dinner.
    I can't help it with Facebook - definitely more than once a day! Probably three times a day of scrolling. Oh yes. And I agree - I will never pay them.

    • I knew I wasn't the only one! If only we could all never pay them, they'd stop asking us to.

  • I am addicted to Facebook too and Pinterest. I blame some of my lack of sleep on those two media outlets. I am constantly being asked if I would like to boost my post for the small amount of $5. It makes me laugh every time. Especially when I just post some random thing that has nothing to do with my blog. Have a great trip!

  • You set a 1-hour timer for cleaning?! Oh, I'm sooo stealing that. And going by it, too. And not stressing about it anymore. I swear. I do not need a support group. I can quit any time I want. :)

    • I guess I also need to set a time for the Book of Faces. Yes, timers are GREAT for anything. I learned that from flylady.com. Oh, me too. I can quit any time I want. :) I loved that comment!

  • So we had cereal last night and I couldn't have been happier about it! It was kind of a long, traveling, hiking a mountain sort of day and everyone was too beat to do anything more. I love FB too, but I get ads for clothes and princess accessories. Not once have I had a sewing machine in there ever. Curiouser and curiouser :)

    • Yes! Sometimes cereal is all anyone has the energy left for. Princess accessories, well, I'm sure you know that I never see those.

      • I'm sure you don't! I love this post and thanks so much for linking it up with the Mommy Reality challenge!

  • I'm not addicted to face book but there has been a particular musical series which has been preventing me from getting to bed on time! Sometimes it's nice to just sit back and relax in the quiet of the night - the one time I don't get 100 interruptions every five minutes. It is frankly bliss!

Recent Posts

Last Chance to See the Cherry Blossoms in D.C. Before Major Tidal Basin Reconstruction

Did you know 2024 year is an important year for the D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival?…

2 weeks ago

Exploring Our Family History in Tannehill State Park: A Beautiful Place to Take Your Family

Last year my cousin Amber sent me a VHS video clip of an interview she…

3 weeks ago

Traveling by Train from Naples to Sigonella Navy Base (in Sicily)

On the last day before our flight out of Italy, Alan and I needed to…

1 month ago

How to Build a Career as a Fire Rescue Officer

Today I have an expert guest post from the field of fire rescue! He is…

2 months ago

So happy to be back! 13 Lessons from When My Website Crashed

If you visited this website in the past eleven days, you might have seen a…

2 months ago

Stories of Our Boys Top 10 Most Popular Posts of 2023

If you follow both of my websites, you know that I did a top ten…

3 months ago