I believe in humility, in acknowledging that I don’t have all the answers.

Is the Christmas stress beginning to set in for any of you?

I can feel it. Christmas is more of a Mega-Urgent Task for me this year. I’m spending next week away at Science Camp with my kids. I’m afraid it’s going to be one of those no t.v./no internet sort of deals, since it’s a retreat center. That bums me out. How’s a girl supposed to entertain two pre-schoolers all day and night and do any Christmas shopping, without the internet or television?

What was I thinking, signing up for this?

Do you think the children would let me back out?

Once we get back, late in the evening on the 11th, we will turn around and fly to Alabama on the 13th.

Who planned this? I need to develop a greater compassion for my future self when I’m signing up for mess. Instead, I’m afraid I’m going to BE the mess.

So that’s my dilemma. To get out of Science Camp or to not get out of it? Can you tell which way I’m leaning?

Ironically enough, I have just begun reading this fantastic book. If you are related to me, don’t buy it. You might be getting it for Christmas. If you are not related to me, BUY IT, read it. You won’t regret it.  Here’s a link:

I loved this quote:

“That daily stuff–those responsibilities that seem more like distractions–those things we want to rush and just get through to get on with the better and bigger assignments of life–those things that are unnoticed places of service? They are the very experiences from which we unlock the riches of wisdom. We’ve got to practice wisdom in the everyday places of our lives.”      Lisa Terkeurst, page 41

Ah, the everyday tasks….

deciding whether or not to cancel Science Camp

potty training

feeding children—Doesn’t it seem like all you do, as a mom? By the time you clean up one meal, it’s time to begin prepping the next.

laundry—oh laundry

Crying, sick toddlers

children that should be napping.

the desperate desire to rest…

I went to sleep at 8:30pm Saturday night, with a fever of 99.8. I didn’t fully wake up until 8:30am Sunday morning. Don’t worry. I’m not sick. I live with a fever half the time, and we don’t know why.

I have a rheumatologist appointment on Wednesday, but I have this feeling that they will not be able to figure it out either, and they’ll send me home saying that I’m fine.

I know. I’m sounding like a bummer. I DO NOT want to be such a drag, so allow me to share happier thoughts..

Our two years in California feels like a strange detour. We’ve been plunked down in what is not a foreign land, and yet in many ways it is. Even the seasons are different. The grass turns green in November. It turns brown around June.

This is what brings me the most comfort through all of the uncertainty, the decisions that come with being a parent, the health problems, the loneliness of home schooling, and the home-sickness:

Trusting God.

I am prone to full-on stress-ball fits of freaking out. Get two or three kids talking in my ear, about two or three different demands, and a toddler asking to pee, all at once, and I begin to unravel.

I can’t take it! Would you please all take a number and sit down? No, there are no numbers, but there should be!!

But God is here. God brought us here, and He does not leave us alone. Let the world think what they want to think. Let the angry people fuss. Doesn’t matter.

This world is a beautiful place, created by God himself. Believing otherwise is foolish. My sons love to make things out of Lego blocks. I wouldn’t look at one of their creations and try to figure out how it came to be. It is obviously created by someone.

That applies even more so with living, breathing people. Humans, animals, and plants are incredible! How could anyone look at these intricate systems and believe that they magically formed themselves? Ludicrous.

Believing is a choice. Some people simply refuse to believe in anything. The skeptics. I do pity the skeptics. They are living with only a portion of God’s love in their life, and they have no idea what they are missing.

But the world is so full of both God’s love and the Devil’s lies, that the skeptics don’t recognize which is which. Even the believers sometimes have trouble discerning the difference, myself included.

I am not a skeptic.

I’m a believer, a believer in God, and in Jesus, his Son. I believe in showing love even when you don’t want to do so. I believe in not retorting to insults, because what good will it do? I believe in teaching kindness and respect. That’s right, respect. And obedience! I believe in God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.

I believe in loving even the people I do not agree with. You will never see a person-bashing post on my Facebook wall.

I believe in humility, in acknowledging that I don’t have all the answers. Peace, goodness knows I believe in peace. When I am thinking clearly, I carefully choose each word I speak, always trying to promote peace. Unless I am in stress-ball mode, when I do not at all do what I want to do, but instead I do the complete opposite.

But I believe that with God’s help, I can improve! I believe all people can improve.

My grandma wrote this poem. I love it. It applies perfectly to the theme of my past year and a half in California: Trusting God, when you’ve reached the end of yourself. There are problems too big for me to fix. All I can do is show love. Let God take care of the rest.

Humility

Keep me humble, oh Lord.

Keep me humble as a little child.

Never let me forget

You were with me while

I had many burdens

That alone I couldn’t bear;

You were ever beside me

Guiding me with Your care.

Never let me take credit

For any deed You have done.

Never let me think that alone

Any battle I have won.

Always walk beside me

As through life I go;

And somehow through me

Please let Your glory show.

by BHK

We wish you a merry Christmas!! I just stuck my head out the door and subjected the neighbor boys to a 5 minute lecture/lesson on scooter safety. Haha!!  I love being old!