Categories: parenting

Arguing is the Thing That Gets on My Nerves the Most

You know what gets on my nerves the most? Arguing.

All the kinds of arguing. I know when my kids argue it just means I’m going to end up having to deal with it. I know when my husband and I argue, I’m going to say something I regret.

And yet, sometimes I find myself being argumentative. In fact, if someone tells me to do something I don’t want to do, I can become downright belligerent.

It’s like a scab. You know you shouldn’t mess with the scab. You should let it heal, but sometimes you just GOTTA pick at that scab.

And then it’s all bleeding again….and then you’re all looking for tissues. Then it’s time to leave the house, and the worst of it was that the scab was on your face, and now you have to try to put some make-up on it.

And it’s just a big mistake.

Arguing is usually a mistake.

But then other times, arguing almost has to happen. If there’s anything I’ve learned about arguing though, it’s that it’s best to do in person and NEVER over text. Over text, people can’t hear the charming tone of your voice, and they may not know that you’re a person that makes a lot of jokes…

I keep a little tab in my Bible journal about arguing.

We all read things differently and have different take aways, so arguments happen. We simply don’t always agree with each other.

Nor should we expect to always agree with each other. I think the gist of the Bible verses I have found is to avoid arguing over things that don’t matter.

(If only I could always let the little things go…)

We have to keep our focus on the right things, and then we are less likely to argue about the wrong things.

Plus, as I tell my children, we have to not be selfish and give others a little space.

Sometimes, to avoid arguing, I will try to keep quiet too long. And then I explode, and it gets ugly. Clearly, that’s not the way to go either.

 

Most people are somewhat reasonable and will listen to what you have to say, so long as you just talk and don’t get all worked up.

Thankfully, Alan is super reasonable, which is a good thing, since I’m married to him.

But maybe you aren’t dealing with a reasonable person, and that’s where you have to decide if you want to deal with their hissy fit or pouting, or if you want to go along with their way as usual.

The only thing is, if you go along with their way every single time, they will never learn to deal with disappointment. Some people are like children. They still need to learn that lesson. We can give many times, but if we are always the one to give, explosions may happen. It’s better to gently state your case and hold your ground from the get-go.

The Bible puts it pretty pointedly.

“And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth and that they will come to their senses & escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”                     2 Timothy 2:24-26

Now some of you may be thinking that I must be coming off a big argument which caused me to write about all this, but if I had, I would be too mad to write about all this. Instead, I figured I’d write about my pet peeve while I’m not actually in the middle of arguing with anyone.

Okay, pet peeve #2 is whining, begging three-year-olds, and I have one at my feet right this second, BEGGING to paint.

So yeah, time to go paint…

What about you? What’s your pet peeve?

 

 

aprilmomoffour

April is an upbeat, Christian, blog-obsessed, military wife, and home schooling mom of four little boys. She writes about education, travel, and humorous adventures in parenting. Follow along if you’d like a little bit of encouragement and a whole lot of crazy.

View Comments

  • Oh my gosh never argue over text. For sure! Things get all jumbled up that way. I avoid arguments like the plague, unless it is with my very immediate family and even then I HATE having them even more! I don't know though when one of my kids pull a whiny or sarcastic attitude I am ready to fight. Great parenting right? :)

    • Yep. Of course, I had to go and learn that the hard way. Oh, I didn't think of sarcasm from kids. Yes. Not appreciated!

  • Whining and talking back really get me!
    I think I'm pretty argumentative in the mornings. I get pretty overwhelmed because most of our mornings lately are cold and gloomy and I have allergies sometimes and I don't like getting up early. Often Cassidy goes to work before anyone gets up, and then I have to deal with two kids, a dog, cat, and 11 chickens!
    Deep breaths!

    • Yes. Those are truly annoying things. The 11 chickens though. That's my favorite part. You'd fit in just fine down here in Georgia. Ha!!

  • Mine is not picking up after yourself. And I will tell you my husband is just as bad as one of my boys. With three boys and a husband to pick up after I can only take so much. I tell my boys to go outside that mom is going to have a momzilla moment and they don't want to be around for it :)

    • Love it. I need to remember that line. My kids don't really get a warning.

      • My ten year old has started to comment on when I have a mommy meltdown :) or momzilla moment. So I try to warn them so that they can run and I can count to ten.

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