“I Wanna See You Be Brave”

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Everyone goes through hard or hectic, confusing times. It seems like we’re constantly wading knee-deep in and out of huge changes for as long as I can remember, really.

2018 does not wish to be upstaged. As peaceful and incredible as 2017 was, 2018 decided to leave more of …an impression. Personally, I liked the humdrum and happiness of 2017 much, much better.

I won’t go into all that is going on, but we’ll just say the hurricane is still swirling for our family, and I do mean my whole extended family in several different ways.

3 generations of amazing strong, brave women. We all came from Beth and Max. In that photo we were gathered for Madison’s Sweet 16 party.

Do you ever feel like your life has a soundtrack?

Raising children has been the adventure of my life, and there have been many anthems over the years, like I Feel Better When I’m Dancin’ and Day by Day (the hymn) and Mama Loves the Baby. I sang “Mama Loves the Baby” to John David so many times to get him to go to sleep. When I’m an old senile woman in a nursing home, don’t be surprised if I’m sitting there rocking and singing “Mama loves the baby, Mama loves the baby. Mama loves the baby, oh yes she does..”

Have you ever had an MRI? Two weeks ago I was in the MRI tunnel. Normally that never bothers me, claustrophobic-wise during a hip/lower back MRI, and I’ve had several of those, thanks to my sciatic problem. But when I do the cardiac one with all the breath holding, I go a little bonkers in there. Literally I feel like I’m trapped and hyperventilating in some kind of hole I cannot get out of.

Thankfully, they give you music during an MRI. She asked me to name an artist I like because their music comes from Pandora. It randomly selects songs in that same genre as the artist you name.

Now you know I have a whole playlist of songs/artists that I love, but when put on the spot I could not thing of the name of a single person who sings songs on the radio. Not one.

I thought long and hard and managed to come up with Rachel Platt. Only it turns out there is no Rachel Platt. It’s Rachel Platten. Thankfully, Pandora understood what I meant anyway. It did give me Rachel Platten songs. I was hoping for Fight Song, but that didn’t happen.

However, Pandora did play Brave by Sara Bareilles, which came on right when I needed it. My right arm, which had the IV in it had fallen asleep, but I couldn’t move it. There was that tight space, and there was just no where to run, but this song came on. This song is one I listen to at home, but not so much that I’m sick of it yet.

And it has been truly my anthem. Having “I wanna see you be brave” sang to me over and over again, was perfect.

Brave.

I don’t always want to be brave. Do you? Doesn’t it feel better to cuddle up on the couch and hide?

But we weren’t meant to be scared little mice or to hide away. We were made to live and to love even when life is making us cry. Life does that sometimes, and it comes at you from all corners at once. Or you just see your family dealing with something hard, and it gets you down, you know?

I think it’s important for us to fill up our tanks with God’s love, so we have that love and light to give because He is the light, and He is the love.

“‘Together’ is a really good word. Together is what we need when we hit tough patches in life. Making decisions when life is making you cry shouldn’t be done alone.” –Lysa Terkeurst, in The Best Yes

How do you fill your tank with God’s love and light? We need God’s word for that, God’s word, other believers who lift us up to the light, and time and space to think on it and pray.

I’ve personally been reading in Isaiah, of late. Isaiah has a surprising amount to say about Jesus, considering he was born centuries before Jesus. Isaiah was a prophet, and he was writing about what was coming.

“Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say ‘Here I am.’

If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”                     Isaiah 58: 9-11

God wants to “see you be brave” too.

I hope you can pump your fist through your trials and sing, “Let the words fall out honestly. I wanna see you be brave,” too.

Alan brightened my morning by showing up after the MRI to take me to lunch. Is there any feeling like when people care?

This has been a highly frustrating week here, but I know all problems are eventually resolved or transformed into memories. It’s always a reminder to me to rely on God and lean on those who love me, and to be there for them too. Having faith and having each other is what makes it all worth doing.