Saying Good-bye to Aunt Linda

The last couple of weeks things have gotten muddy. Problems. Death. Loss. Hurricanes. Math. My broken website. Cold feet. Problems. It reminds me of a song Jamie Grace sings:

I’ve had a long day, I just wanna relax
Don’t have time for my friends, no time to chit chat
Problems at my job, wonderin’ what to do
I know I should be working but I’m thinking of you and
Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down
That’s when your smile comes around

That is exactly where I’m at right now.

Aunt Linda died, and I’m sitting here scrolling through all these old photos on the Facebook.  I’m worried about my cousins and planning to go to the funeral. I hate that our family has been living all over the country, and my children didn’t even know Aunt Linda. How could they not know someone who was such a main character in my childhood? There’s regret, but what could be done differently, really? It is what it is.

 

I’ve often said it, and I’ll say it again. Life is a series of problems to solve.

Not endless though. The series of problems definitely has an end for each of us. Our family is acutely aware of that on this day.

But life is glorious, truly glorious.

In spite of all the problems, there are enough joys sprinkled in that make it all worth it. Some of them you have to look hard to find, and some are as easy as a chocolate chip cookie. I think hugs may be my personal favorite joy of life. Isn’t that funny? I once read that a human needs like 7 hugs a day, though I doubt that was a highly scientific statement.

Linda’s life was full of ups and downs too. Yes, she was married 3 times, developed diabetes, and had to fight many battles in her life. But wow at what she accomplished!

In addition to Amber and Ethan (Linda’s children) and their families, there were all these young people basically camping out at Linda’s house, calling her mom, who came to her in their teens when they needed some light in their lives! They might not have even realized that was the light of Jesus shining through their beloved second mother, but that’s exactly what it was, the love that she showed them, drawing them to her like moths to the flame.

 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”    Matthew 5:14-16

I was so inspired by the way our family gathered around their beloved Mom. Literally, when we went to see Linda last week, we opened the door to this tiny apartment full of young people and Linda.

The way the family looked out for each other, kept each other’s children, and the love that they shared was truly inspiring. I hope that as my children reach the age that their friends are teens facing troubles, that we will also show our sons’ friends this amazing amount of love and kindness that Linda has given these sweet young people. Love is so contagious. It’s like bamboo. It spreads well and takes over if you let it.

Amber did a wonderful job of taking care of her mother at the end, with the help of the family. Chi, Linda, Mom, and I marveled at how Amber could work all day, pick up a toddler niece just because she wanted to see her, go to the grocery store with 3 kids, and then come over and cook us all vegetable soup and visit.

Amber had also asked everyone to give Mom and I a day alone with Linda to visit it up since we had flown so far, which was so unbelievably sweet because I think those two days of visiting with Linda at the end are my favorite memories of her.

At the end of your life, all the “small stuff” we’re usually walking around sweating sort of melts away, and you talk about the GOOD stuff. We walked up and down memory lanes. I learned things I’d never known about the family. Linda confessed her regrets to us, but even more she shared laughs with us. We laughed all day long, even in the midst of this. We could do that because she was at peace with herself and where she was going. There were still people here she was worried about, loved ones she was hesitant to leave behind, but her time had come.

 

 

The thing about life is, it goes on. Even while we were saying good-bye to one of our most beloved, spunky, fun, and motherly members, we were also rocking new ones in our laps.

Oh, that it didn’t have to end! If only we could all always be together.

Heaven. In Heaven we can. I do pity the ones who cannot believe, who have no faith, no hope of Heaven. We pray for you to find this hope because it is the great reunion we look forward to with joy. It is not the end. The soul lives on. Generation may replace generation here on earth, but in Heaven, generation JOINS generation in a beautiful reunion of love.

 

I had a dream last summer. Mom, Linda, Amber, and I were at a family gathering, but what was weird was that Granny and Maw-Maw were there too, and of course, they left us years ago. The men in the family were also there, but they were not the ones I was talking to in the dream.

In the dream Granny and Maw-Maw (who have been dead for years) were walking around with us, and I wanted to hang out with them so badly. Mom did too. We kept trying to follow them around and talk to Granny and Maw-Maw because we were so excited to see them. But they were having none of it and instead personally escorted us back to this 2nd building. There were two buildings with a yard between them. They told us, “No, this is the staging area, and you are still needed in the other building.”

I also remember that my cousin Amber was in charge of everything in the dream. Perhaps Granny and Maw-Maw were pointing us back to Amber and Linda because at the time we still had both of them. And then all of a sudden I woke up, and I was all kinds of disturbed because there’s just something disturbing about a dream full of ghosts who wouldn’t quite look you in the face.

I woke up thinking, “Oh no! Whose funeral was that!!??” And then I knew that it was probably Linda’s, and Maw-Maw and Granny had come to take her home.

It’s hard to explain a dream, as dreams are so weird anyway, but that dream left such an impression that I still remember much of it vividly.

We are so lucky in my family because we come from this legacy of strong, southern women.

These women have been through tough, terrible things, all of them, and yet every single one of them was the epicenter of her family. Each of these women, Granny, Maw-Maw, Linda, and still we that remain, have stood our ground in times of trouble. We have clung to God to see us through. We’ve made mistakes, and we’ve cleaned up our messes. We are redeemed, trusting in Jesus, and there will never be an end for us.

One day we will all be together again.

Yes, Linda may have gone home, but she left a legacy of love and faith behind her, and we will see her again.