Did you know that I have blogged insanely faithfully for 10 years? Yep. 10. I started with a private blog in 2008, moved to public in 2013, and loved it through and through.
It was cathartic for me. Besides, it kept all our family and friends better in touch with us since we move so much. In turn, I felt more connected to everyone.
I thought I seriously loved writing. There was a portion of truth to that too. I do enjoy writing, but I don’t think it was just the writing that was making me so happy. It was what I was writing ABOUT. You know how when you have kids that’s all you can think to talk about? Or a new puppy, or even simply a new hobby that’s challenging you? Whatever it is that you pour yourself into, that’s what it is you want to talk about. Desperately.
I NEEDED to talk about being a mom to these boys, and not in a judgey-I have all the answers- kind of way. Don’t you hate that? There is nothing more obnoxious to me than a person who is married to her specific parenting philosophy and thinks everyone else is doing it wrong and she knows how to do it better.
“I potty trained my kids in a day.”
Insert serious eye rolling. Um, no you didn’t. Yes, your child may have peed on the potty on day one and had no accidents on day 2, but honey you just wait. Day 4 everything is going to hit the fan, and the rest of us are going to be secretly happy, since you had to go and brag about it.
Well, you get the idea. I won’t spoil this post with my bitter feelings…
Gradually, my kids got older. Then their friends’ parents ran out and bought their 10-year-olds iPhones, and suddenly it matters what I write about on my blog because my children could face the repercussions of that.
Now it’s one thing to have their friends tease them because of what I wrote about faith or baking a cake, but it’s a totally different thing to be ridiculed about what your mother said about YOU.
Don’t worry. My children have NOT been persecuted about anything I said to this point, but the fact is it could happen. I cannot talk about them on my blog anymore.
And that’s when blogging stopped being fun. I don’t want to blog about my favorite recipes or how many different stores I had to visit before I finally found the perfect dress. I only wanted to talk about my favorite thing: life as a mom, with these people I adore with my whole heart.
It turned out my life as a mom was actually the reason I loved writing. Mostly, I just love being a mom. Thanks to our current sky-high cultural expectations, I’m constantly feeling inferior because I am a house-keeping mom instead of a working mom, and I tried to find ways to use the blog to make money on the side. But the thing is I didn’t love that either.
Literally I only wanted to talk about how cute and funny our children are. Ha! And I can’t do that on the internet anymore, so I’ve blogged less and less frequently. Last year I almost decided to close the blog down altogether. I’ve considered it for this year too, but we shall see. You never know what the future holds.
Probably I will be back occasionally with a funny story or a fashion review, but what I’ve done in the past I cannot do any longer. I miss you all, and we hope you understand.
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I totally, totally, totally get this April. I have only been blogging for 5 years and back then my youngest would have been 15. I am so proud of them. I could sense they did not want to be mentioned on my blog and I have respected that. So I have never talked about them hardly at all. My oldest is now 27 and my youngest is now 20 (with 2 in between), and for the 1st time in about 10 years I got the blessing to post a picture of the 4 kids on my Facebook and Twitter.
I know there is going to be the day when I will not be able to run anymore. And then what to write about. This would have been an extremely difficult decision. And I really respect you April. Because you children is your passion and your life. Sincerely hope we'll continue one way or another to keep connected. God's blessings! ~Carl~ :)
April, I have enjoyed your blog since finding it last year :) May God bless you and your family as your kids grow and as you all move around with the military :)
I agree with Donna....could you just go back to a private blog, keeping family up-to-date with your family? We sure did love those days!!
That would be easy to do with the newsletter actually. I could do that because it doesn’t go on the internet.
I get it! We miss you guys! I love reading your post but totally understand all the issues and junk. Whatever decision you make will be the right one. Sometimes God allows things to be in for a period of time because at that time it was what was needed. Your journey is not done yet, but maybe the blog is and that is ok.
I completely understand. As my oldest two are now teens they don't like me writing much about them at all or taking pictures of them either. I do enjoy blogging and writing so my blog is slowly becoming more about me and recipes and not much about my boys or homeschooling.
As I read your post, I could completely relate to how you need to hold back from writing as freely as you once did. I could also feel your love for writing exclusively about being a Mom, and trying to write about other things simply for the sake of maintaining a blog space isn't motivating.
Keep writing your posts, just save them in folders on your computer and print them out eventually for your children to read someday. They will appreciate how you loved them and walked through so many life happenings alongside them. You are a good Mama!
Aww friend, I get it. I will miss you and I am glad you aren't totally going away. Yet. I love hearing your stories, but at least I can still see your family on Facebook :)
Is there a way to go back to a private blog for just family? By the way, today is ROLL TIDE ROLL day!