Into the Unknown: Virtual School Nerves and Anxiety

Is anyone else feeling nervous about their kids beginning virtual school? I feel like this is an issue that parents across the entire world are dealing with.

We have been out of school for the sheltering-in-place or quarantine or social distancing, whatever you want to call it, for a month now. Seriously. An entire month has passed.

During that month, we here in Maryland were given home-school packets of suggested work. Thankfully, they gave us all the benefit of the doubt and gave the children all 100s on daily grades for the work done on the packets. So far it has all had a very laid back feel. Yes, we are home schooling, but the oldest boys don’t even really have math. The younger boys haven’t had much science.

We recently added in BrainPOP.com videos when I found out that their service is currently free. Plus, we read and write and do a few other things. School at our house has been fun, really. I mean, it has been fun for the kids and sometimes even for me, but all of the monkeys have been on my back. It has definitely been a lot of work. We have four kids, and they all have different assignments. I spend each day doing school with them, feeding them, and then planning out what we will do the next day.

I have had less time to do house work and writing. That’s for sure, but it has been doable.

Next week everything changes.

Wednesday we will start virtual school. The kids will watch videos of their teachers teaching them on our computers, and they will have to actually complete the assignments the teachers give them.

Everything reminds me of a song. Sometimes my kids take it as a challenge and try to throw out random phrases to see if I can find a song that relates, and I assure you, I always can.

Today I am Elsa, of Frozen II, and we are all on a collision course straight “Into the Unknown.”

Virtual school is the unknown, and we are headed there fast, and I don’t know whether to be terrified or happy! Up to this point, if I thought the packet-suggested science questions were ridiculous, I just tossed them out and used a different science lesson that I chose for them myself.

I won’t get to do that anymore. Yet, it won’t be like sending them to school all day long either. I may not choose the activities, but I WILL be the one who has to make sure they do said activity, and if they cannot figure out how to do it, their project becomes my project in many ways. You know?

And then there’s the computer sharing in this house…

When this all started, we had a family of six, with three iPhones and two computers to use. Once the home-schooling began, I ordered a new Kindle Fire tablet to replace our old one, and that has been a life-saver. When they announced that school was about to go to virtual classes, we decided to go ahead and order a new computer. So now we have a 3:5 computer ratio, which is a huge improvement, but I’m still nervous about everyone trying to share them.

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LoRD forever. “

Psalm 23

So many unknowns

Our county school system has not given us any information about what to expect next week. Thankfully, ONE teacher did send us what he plans to do. That’s for 8th grade math, so he is planning to do live classes for his students, there days per week. He’s already given times and instructions.

We love this teacher. I am thankful he is doing these live classes, and my oldest son will actually have math again. It was easy to dig up math for my elementary boys. I didn’t even bother to try with the 8th grader. Inventing functions and such is not really in my wheelhouse anymore. I will happily wash my hands of it.

But what if they all need the computer at the same time?

And exactly how many videos will each boy have to watch each day? The first grader, I’m hoping, will only have 2 videos each day. Our third grader has three different teachers for his subjects, not including music and such. Both middle school boys have seven classes each. That could mean making time for as many as 20 or more video classes per day! And then there are assignments!

See, I think about this stuff, and my heart beats faster, and my hair gets grayer, and my jaws clench. My teeth grind. It’s all a messy stress and worry reaction.

Then I remind myself.

It is going to be okay. They, as a public school, must know that these students are all sharing electronic devices with siblings. Surely, they will continue to be more laid back than usual.

My sixth grader’s French teacher who let them take a test over the phone to final out their grades, and before he gave the test, he went over it all first. He basically told him all the answers before he asked the questions, and I was SO grateful.

What we are facing is not unique to our family. It’s the whole world going through this together.

Sure, each area handles it a little differently, but it’s all similar. What about the families who only have ONE computer and several children? Or the families who cannot afford to buy a new device to get through this? How about all the people who have lost their jobs and aren’t even sure how they will pay for next week’s food or electric bill?

Those are bigger problems than I am dealing with. We are very fortunate that Alan has been able to work at home, and I always am at home.

When I face uncertainty, which is a constant in my life, I always go back to faith in God.

As a military wife, we’ve been waiting for the Army, going where they send us, never knowing where we’ll be next year, for the past 18 years. Uncertainty is what we do.

I trust in the Lord. He knows. I am just a pawn, along for the ride. That’s how I often see my life. The roller coaster is taking off again, but I have my seatbelt on. I trust the one who is in charge. God is still in heaven, and he will always take care of those who call in his name. Getting upset or griping about it is not going to make coronavirus go away or your neighbor’s response any different.

“The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

Psalm 9:9-10