Trusting God with Back to Virtual School Anxiety

We are exactly eight days out from our first day of virtual school.

How do I feel about that? Mostly on edge and nervous again. Surprise, surprise. When I feel anxiety about an upcoming event, I get super edgy, as in I actually feel sorry for my family members.

This morning I set my phone alarm clock for the first time since last March or April. Since we are only a week out, we DO have to get back in the habit of getting out of bed on time. I sure will miss those lazier days of summer.

Hmmm.. getting up early today… maybe that’s another reason I am grumpy…

After I walked the dog this morning and had breakfast with the boys, I had a glorious half hour that was delightfully chill. Daniel, J.D., and I went to the backyard and hung out quietly. They swung, and I pushed them. The whole time I kept thinking, “Man, I love this. This is so nice.” Taking the boys in the backyard has been some of my best moments over the past fourteen years. It is the best part of parenthood.

Stress was nowhere in sight out there.

Our only worry was who could swing highest, and they were not actually concerned about that. Each swing seems to pretty much have the same limit.

I did not even realize I was on edge about school starting back because out there in the yard, we were quite content. When I first gave J.D. his good high pushes on the disc swing, he said, “Oh! This is giving me anxiety. OH, anxiety!”

Hearing a seven-year-old talking about anxiety was kind of funny, but I know he hears that from me.

Today is the day I take our very first high schooler to pick up his books. We sat down and carefully planned when to go. Our goal is to go when it is least crowded.

I did not realize my own anxiety was building up until I started facing tech issues with the Nintendo Switch and my blog. Computer issues give me feelings of frustration like nothing else can. Driving? I’m good. I seriously never get road rage. Children? They can be frustrating when they aren’t listening, but I can mostly deal.

But a computer telling me for the third time my password is wrong, when it was right five minutes ago? Code displaying as code instead of text on my website for no apparent reason? I have zero patience for these things. It is in those moments I would love to just go full Dude Perfect Rage Monster and start smashin’ stuff. Was there any scene more relatable than that Office movie scene where they take the printer out and start beating it with sticks?

You will all be happy to know I did not damage any electronic devices today, no matter how much I wanted to do so.

Instead, I decided to sit down and write about how apparently anxious I am feeling about returning to virtual school. In the spring, I still controlled the schedule for the day. This year is not that way. The boys have times appointed to log in to their classes and a lunch hour, a very specific lunch hour. In fact, I am officially their lunch lady. As it turns out, the school system has decided that I will be serving lunch from 12:15-1:15 everyday.

Or was it 12 or 12:30? It is buried in my email, so I hope they send us a reminder…

So that is where I am at today.

It is material distribution week, and this is getting real. The boys already know their assigned teachers, but we cannot remember their schedules. Hopefully, they will provide a copy of that with the book pick-up this week.

I bought an actual 2020/21 school year planner and filled it in with all of the events I already have to attend. It is time to sort of rejoin the world. I am both happy and reluctant about that.

How are you all doing with this? Anyone getting hyped up and nervous like me??

I co-teach a high school girls’ Bible study Sunday nights, virtually. We still call it Sunday School. Last night my co-teacher taught on James 1. Then this morning I read Ecclesiastes 1-3.

These are both good reminders of how temporary these problems are. What are the trials of mankind, when we are on the earth such a short time in the grand scheme of things? It is almost comical how worked up we get about the hurdles we face when you see how quickly it all passes!

⁹ Let the lowly brother glory in his exaltation, ¹⁰ but the rich in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. ¹¹ For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade away in his pursuits.

James 1: 9-12

 I said in my heart, “Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” ¹⁹ For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. ²⁰ All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. 

Ecclesiastes 3: 18-20

That almost sounds hopeless, but it isn’t. It reminds me that look, this is all just today’s problem. Tomorrow it will be something else. In the end, all of our fleshly concerns fade away as the flowers of the field.

So lighten up. Step away from the frustrating things when you need to calm down. Trust God with the big picture. All of these trials hurt, but they make us better people.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces ^[a]patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be ^[b]perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

James 1: 2-4

We are all going to be okay. God is still in Heaven, and here are we on Earth. I still need to work on that whole “letting my words be few” thing..

I hope you all have a perfect start to your back to school year. If you don’t, that’s okay. Most of us in virtual school will have difficulties with all this new technology, but it will be okay. God’s got us.