Accepting Life As It Is While Maryland Returns to Full Virtual School

A month ago, COVID case numbers were down, and they announced that we would gradually start sending the children back to school. The funny part is that it was only for one day a week anyway. Around half the county signed up for this, and the other half elected to just stay full time virtual.

Wow! There were so many people who were not so terribly desperate for a quiet day that they actually chose to stay full virtual. All people are different, y’all. We really are, and that is okay.

Me, I was disappointed to hear it was only for a day because I have always thought of home schooling as a nightmare, and I do not like feeling this overwhelmed.

I will take what I can get, so I signed the boys up for the their one day/week.

Our second grader went back three weeks ago, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He hates virtual school. This child was made for running wild through open fields, digging holes, and showing off all that he knows. It is hard to do any of those things while doing school on a computer. He is free-spirited and uninhibited. I admire his spirit. That was never me. I was much more uptight.

I wrote all about the hilarity that is our second grader doing virtual school here. He is actually quite adorable.

Our fourth grader began his one day of in-person school just this week. He got to go ONE day and reported that it was WAY better than virtual school. Then the announcement came that night.

The Announcement

This week our county announced a return to full virtual school. Even the children enrolled in learning centers were sent home. All hybrid hopes are over.

I am surprisingly okay.

Something has happened in the last couple of weeks in my spirit. I believe it is called acceptance. Kicking against the goads has been my default. Things are not how I want them to be. Who wants a world like this, filtered through a mask, isolated in our little huts?

But these are the cards we are dealt. These are the years, yes years apparently, we spend with our kids full time at home. Rooms are less tidy. Social calendars are emptier, and yes, sometimes it is lonely.

Keeping little boys paying attention to a computer teacher is sort of a joke.

I am so done constantly fighting against that. Actually, I will not be done for a while, but internally I very much WANT to be done. It seems like when I go off to other rooms and leave them alone with their computer screens, they actually get more done and listen BETTER than when I am in the room with them. If I am with them, they feel the need to keep me involved, ask me for snacks, and tell me stories.

Good news: It looks chaotic, but learning is actually going on just fine.

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day while I cooked lunch. Daniel had asked me to make baked potato soup that day. Normally, I do not talk on the phone during school hours because it is too distracting for all three boys who do school downstairs, but that day I did it anyway.

Daniel was beside me, peeling baked potatoes. John David was trekking in and out to show me the story he was writing. Caleb strolled by to show me his latest drawing and say hello to Nana.

I joked to my mom, “As you can see, they are all working very hard at their school work.”

Mom and I got a good laugh out of that. Were the boys all at recess? I mean I hope so, but I am not totally sure. They are usually on task, but we do still have all of these interactions like this during the day. It feels very much like a home school situation. There are home school programs you can do where the kids have teachers teach them on videos, just like this.

The boys are getting time here to explore their interests. Caleb would be drawing in class whether he is at school or at home, but Daniel would not be squeezing in extra cooking time. This is a bonus. John David probably would not have extra writing time either.

The virtual schooling has also helped me make peace with Alan remaining in the Army.

Remaining an Army family is another life circumstance that my spirit has bristled against. There is this deep longing in me to gather up our family and worldly goods and move to a nice piece of land in Alabama. I have written about that many times this year.

Several things about being in our nineteenth year of military service have bothered me. First and foremost is watching our older children be so strongly affected by changing schools over and over again. Our high schooler is now on his FOURTH school in FOUR years. That is ridiculous. We are not talking about moving every FEW years. No, this is far more drastic than that. He has changed schools four years in a row.

Stressful does not even begin to describe it, and I have guilt!

But wait. With half of the country thrown into virtual school with no options, it has ushered in the idea of another path. Our teenager says he rather likes virtual school. Tennis has kept him active and interacting with the world, and with church starting back, I am hoping that will too.

I suppose we actually could move teenagers during high school if they opt for a home/virtual school type option. That might be far less stressful for them.

Plus, my oldest son does not need my supervision the way the younger boys do. It is not a drain on me at all. Home and virtual schooling feels much easier to me with older children than it did with little ones.

But these younger two, aughhhh!!! At the moment they are literally chasing each other around the house, and I can still see a second grade math class going on in the living room.

Okay. I got both little rowdy buddies back in their virtual classes. Ugh. How I love my new role of “hall monitor.” (Not.) ….And now I am a math tutor….for common core…..

Today I have peace though. Acceptance has occurred.

This is our lot, and it is not so bad. Yes, it is busy, and I will have no energy left by three or five, depending on the day. I am okay though. No one is coming over– it is a pandemic. So the house needs to be clean, but not necessarily decluttered.

There will always be a list full of things to do, but isn’t that a good thing? That makes me feel useful and fulfilled. God has given us purpose here, a whole ton of purpose.

We are going to make the best of this.

What else can we do? This is the lot that God has given us for 2020/2021, and we will graze in this pasture and feed on this soil. We are in the palm of God’s good hands.

“I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord God. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.”

Ezekiel 34:15-16

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

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