stay-at-home mom

Accepting Life As It Is While Maryland Returns to Full Virtual School

A month ago, COVID case numbers were down, and they announced that we would gradually start sending the children back to school. The funny part is that it was only for one day a week anyway. Around half the county signed up for this, and the other half elected to just stay full time virtual.

Wow! There were so many people who were not so terribly desperate for a quiet day that they actually chose to stay full virtual. All people are different, y’all. We really are, and that is okay.

Me, I was disappointed to hear it was only for a day because I have always thought of home schooling as a nightmare, and I do not like feeling this overwhelmed.

I will take what I can get, so I signed the boys up for the their one day/week.

Our second grader went back three weeks ago, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He hates virtual school. This child was made for running wild through open fields, digging holes, and showing off all that he knows. It is hard to do any of those things while doing school on a computer. He is free-spirited and uninhibited. I admire his spirit. That was never me. I was much more uptight.

I wrote all about the hilarity that is our second grader doing virtual school here. He is actually quite adorable.

second grade classmates

Our fourth grader began his one day of in-person school just this week. He got to go ONE day and reported that it was WAY better than virtual school. Then the announcement came that night.

The Announcement

This week our county announced a return to full virtual school. Even the children enrolled in learning centers were sent home. All hybrid hopes are over.

I took this photo to show Alan how well I was keeping my act together while he was away for a few days on a work trip.

I am surprisingly okay.

Something has happened in the last couple of weeks in my spirit. I believe it is called acceptance. Kicking against the goads has been my default. Things are not how I want them to be. Who wants a world like this, filtered through a mask, isolated in our little huts?

But these are the cards we are dealt. These are the years, yes years apparently, we spend with our kids full time at home. Rooms are less tidy. Social calendars are emptier, and yes, sometimes it is lonely.

Keeping little boys paying attention to a computer teacher is sort of a joke.

I am so done constantly fighting against that. Actually, I will not be done for a while, but internally I very much WANT to be done. It seems like when I go off to other rooms and leave them alone with their computer screens, they actually get more done and listen BETTER than when I am in the room with them. If I am with them, they feel the need to keep me involved, ask me for snacks, and tell me stories.

Good news: It looks chaotic, but learning is actually going on just fine.

The boys seriously got into this whole election thing. I think they understand it better than some adults do…

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day while I cooked lunch. Daniel had asked me to make baked potato soup that day. Normally, I do not talk on the phone during school hours because it is too distracting for all three boys who do school downstairs, but that day I did it anyway.

Daniel was beside me, peeling baked potatoes. John David was trekking in and out to show me the story he was writing. Caleb strolled by to show me his latest drawing and say hello to Nana.

I joked to my mom, “As you can see, they are all working very hard at their school work.”

Mom and I got a good laugh out of that. Were the boys all at recess? I mean I hope so, but I am not totally sure. They are usually on task, but we do still have all of these interactions like this during the day. It feels very much like a home school situation. There are home school programs you can do where the kids have teachers teach them on videos, just like this.

The boys are getting time here to explore their interests. Caleb would be drawing in class whether he is at school or at home, but Daniel would not be squeezing in extra cooking time. This is a bonus. John David probably would not have extra writing time either.

peeling baked potatoes for soup

The virtual schooling has also helped me make peace with Alan remaining in the Army.

Remaining an Army family is another life circumstance that my spirit has bristled against. There is this deep longing in me to gather up our family and worldly goods and move to a nice piece of land in Alabama. I have written about that many times this year.

Several things about being in our nineteenth year of military service have bothered me. First and foremost is watching our older children be so strongly affected by changing schools over and over again. Our high schooler is now on his FOURTH school in FOUR years. That is ridiculous. We are not talking about moving every FEW years. No, this is far more drastic than that. He has changed schools four years in a row.

Stressful does not even begin to describe it, and I have guilt!

But wait. With half of the country thrown into virtual school with no options, it has ushered in the idea of another path. Our teenager says he rather likes virtual school. Tennis has kept him active and interacting with the world, and with church starting back, I am hoping that will too.

I suppose we actually could move teenagers during high school if they opt for a home/virtual school type option. That might be far less stressful for them.

Plus, my oldest son does not need my supervision the way the younger boys do. It is not a drain on me at all. Home and virtual schooling feels much easier to me with older children than it did with little ones.

But these younger two, aughhhh!!! At the moment they are literally chasing each other around the house, and I can still see a second grade math class going on in the living room.

Okay. I got both little rowdy buddies back in their virtual classes. Ugh. How I love my new role of “hall monitor.” (Not.) ….And now I am a math tutor….for common core…..

Today I have peace though. Acceptance has occurred.

This is our lot, and it is not so bad. Yes, it is busy, and I will have no energy left by three or five, depending on the day. I am okay though. No one is coming over– it is a pandemic. So the house needs to be clean, but not necessarily decluttered.

There will always be a list full of things to do, but isn’t that a good thing? That makes me feel useful and fulfilled. God has given us purpose here, a whole ton of purpose.

We are going to make the best of this.

What else can we do? This is the lot that God has given us for 2020/2021, and we will graze in this pasture and feed on this soil. We are in the palm of God’s good hands.

“I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord God. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.”

Ezekiel 34:15-16

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

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aprilmomoffour

April is an upbeat, Christian, blog-obsessed, military wife, and home schooling mom of four little boys. She writes about education, travel, and humorous adventures in parenting. Follow along if you’d like a little bit of encouragement and a whole lot of crazy.

View Comments

  • Oh, April...you really do have your hands full. Any mom of 4 school age children is struggling this year. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Your blog is very uplifting for others in your shoes. And we so appreciate your support for Alan's career, especially during the hardest times. Military families are so very special and appreciated for all your sacrifices. We think high school could be rough in or out of the Army. This virtual school may be the easiest way for some kids.

    • Thank you! I think virtual school did ease a lot of problems for him this year. No need to learn a new campus, locker, and lunch system. No need to deal with difficult people, just do the classwork.

  • Our town is the opposite - still all remote and moving to hybrid soon. I don't even know what we will do yet. We shall see.
    My kids got so into the election too! They could barely sleep that night even though I told them we wouldn't know that night. We found out that Saturday morning and our entire town erupted into celebration. I live in a really liberal area, as you can tell. You couldn't even drive through Main Street.
    Those cookies look great!

    • I am excited for your town. I think I’ve read that Massachusetts covid numbers are doing much better than most of us. Our county is hit hard right now.

  • Seriously I am so impressed how well you are handling this with your boys. I only have 1 child that I had to homeschool for a few months at the beginning of covid (she's in-person right now) and I struggled so hard. I didn't understand some of the material myself and I got so frustrated with my inability to explain things to my own daughter so she would understand. It's hard. Kudos to you! 🤗👍

    • I was there with my algebra student today. And common cord math rocks me off. Lol. So do know that I still cry at some point every single day. Ha! So many emotions each day. I’ve just accepted crying as part of my life now... which sounds sad but it’s better than feeling desperately miserable. I should have mentioned that in the blog. Thank you though. 😊

  • Will Alan retire when he hits 20 years in? That's my husbands plan, but he is in the reserves so we haven't had to do all the moving that you do!

    • I think currently he is planning to stay in...which to me just means more moving so I have spent the last two years wrestling with making peace with it.

  • Well, first of all - I am so impressed you put on a "real" shirt when you were home without Alan even there. My hubby is home, but I never put on real clothes unless I'm leaving the house. Hmmm...maybe I should get more comfortable nice clothes...

    Secondly, I am shocked that everything is back to 100% virtual. Things are so different there than where we are! Here, more and more things have been opening up slowly. Nothing is moving in reverse.

    Good for you for having such a good attitude. I cannot imagine walking in your shoes right now. There certainly are wonderful things about all being home together. I love to hear that they are having time to do more things, like cooking. And yours are all old enough to remember this time forever and will have stories for their children and grandchildren about their time at home. You are an inspiration to everyone around you as you let your light shine and keep finding the silver linings! Enjoyed your post!

    • Oh thank you. I do still have moments of making death threats to Chrome books and laptops.
      Thankfully, we have a moderate for a governor. So though some things are moving in reverse, there has been no church persecution or forbidding to do much. We are supposed to quarantine if we travel to red zone states (to include Alabama). But as of this week our county is actually far far worse off with covid cases than Alabama. That is sobering.
      Some days, but not all, I make myself wear real clothes and eyeliner because it makes me feel empowered, and I get more done. It’s funny.
      They don’t want us doing more than 10 at Thanksgiving, but we do that just the 6 of us anyway. It is very different than Georgia, that’s for sure.

  • We haven't gotten the call to go back to full virtual (yet?!) but with our son's school spending two weeks on academics and then 2 weeks in shop and with all the weird hybrid schedules they negotiated we realized last week that he won't step foot in the building again for academics until the new year. He'll have a handful of shop days in the building (we HOPE!) but that's about it. I too have come to acceptance and am extremely thankful that he's in high school. I do find this virtual schooling stressful at times but am so thankful that he's learning to be an advocate for himself and to ask questions whenever he has time online with his teachers (which is most of the time).

    • He is taking shop? That sounds really neat. I hope my boys get that opportunity eventually. It sounds useful.

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