Expert Guest Post: Red Flags in Your Teen’s Behavior to Be Aware of
Today I have a guest writer from the Arrow House counseling center to talk to us about troubling signs to watch out for when parenting teenagers. Specifically, they are giving us the common signs of substance abuse, as well as a few parenting tips.
I was eager to hear from our experts on this issue since I know most of my readers are in a similar phase of life as I am. Our kids are getting older, and we are in new, uncharted territory. Guiding and leading and taking good care of our older kids is a whole new experience, and I feel like we have so much to learn! So without further ado, here are a few things to look for.
Red Flags In Your Teen’s Behavior You Have To Be Aware Of
The teenage years can be a challenge as it is a time of transition in a household. A teen wants more independence which also requires more responsibility. Teenagers have to act like an adult in many situations. The drawback is that teens are rarely treated like adults or given a fraction of the freedom adults have. The power struggle in a home can be quite contentious, as raging hormones can lead to outbursts.
The teenage years are a very confusing time for a variety of reasons. Growing up in the digital age is a very different experience from what a number of current parents have. Exposure to so many different inappropriate pieces of content is possible without proper supervision. Below will outline various red flags to watch out for in terms of your teen’s behavior.
Be Aware Of Common Signs Of Substance Abuse
Substance abuse can rear its ugly head during teenage years as a result of experimentation. Alcohol can be relatively easy to detect as it has a smell. Plus, bottles can be found. Asking for cash daily can be a sign of substance abuse as well, so monitor the spending that is going on. The friends that your teen hangs out with are going to play a direct role in their substance abuse. Certain friends will let parents know if they are concerned, while others also have substance use disorders.
Getting help for a teen that has a substance abuse problem needs to be done as early as possible. Adolescent substance abuse worsens much like other addictions unless a person gets help. You do not want an arrest to impact the opportunities your teen has going forward. 12-step groups are available online, as are virtual substance abuse counselors. You want to catch this early before the addiction gets too severe and nearly impossible to overcome.
Substance abuse does not stop at narcotics, as performance-enhancing drugs are a growing issue. The ability to make money in high school and college sports can be a huge temptation. Top athletes can be enticed by huge offers or those looking to have them gain an edge illegally. Keep this in mind if you notice sudden gains in athletic performance without increased work being done.
Grades Have Suddenly Dropped Out Of Nowhere
Grades that are dropping suddenly without explanation can be a sign something could be wrong. Bullying is common at schools, and with technology, bullies use social media to torment teens at home. Teens might not have this issue, but addressing grades dropping is important. You do not want to regret not addressing the grades when a teen is struggling mentally. Confronting a teen about their grades can allow them to open up about what is happening.
A bad relationship or even a huge disagreement with a teacher could be an issue. Teachers seem to be projecting opinions on students and do not react well when a student does not agree. Unfortunately, this happens at all schools at all levels, as educators are human and have opinions on various subjects.
Very Secretive About Certain Relationships
Abusive relationships do not only happen among romantic partners but also around friends. Teens struggle with wanting to be liked while setting boundaries with those in their lives. Emotional abuse can happen through gaslighting or minimizing issues that are brought up. You should want to meet your teen’s friends or at least know details about them. Falling into the wrong crowd is a recipe for contentious teenage years.
With this being said, all teens have a bit of a rebellious nature as is natural as their hormones change. Take solace in your teen standing up for themselves, as it can be tough at that age.
The difference between being secretive and wanting privacy is a parent’s job to figure out. Teens are inherently embarrassed by their parents, so bringing new friends around might be an event causing stress. Take time to get to know your teen’s friends in some capacity. You will, of course, have those favorite friends and those that you are not so fond of.
Teenage romantic relationships are a nightmare that you can offer advice on when asked. Offering this advice unsolicited can seem like you are trying to interfere in the relationship from your teen’s perspective. Limiting contact at some points can be done via extracurriculars which can look great on a college application. You do not want to forbid your teen to see someone, as the forbidden romance angle can actually encourage a relationship to fizzle out.
Loss Of Interests In Their Passions
Losing interest in previous passions can happen without any problems. Kids grow out of phases, but there are those that they love for a lifetime. Seeing a hobby fade into the past overnight can be a sign something related to the hobby is not going well. Quitting sports could be due to a lack of performance or time actually playing. Teens want to spend time with friends rather than practicing for hours without seeing any playing time for months of their year.
Keep Lines Of Communication Open
A teen might not want to talk about certain aspects of their lives. Forcing them to share these can lead to them lying and parents having no idea what is actually occurring in their teen’s life. Try to keep your initial reactions internal. Your teen might close lines of communication if they feel judged.
Understanding what is important to your teen can allow you to be excited for them when something happens in this area of their life. A teen could be passionate about sports or theater, and understanding what they want to accomplish is imperative. Investing time in learning about their passions can be a great way to bond. Red flags in a teen’s behavior can indicate there is an area of their life going wrong. Keep an eye on your teen without being too invasive. Teens with overbearing parents become experts at masking their feelings or keeping their behavior a complete secret.
For more articles on parenting preteens & teenagers:
My Friend Hans. His substance use started at a young age. He had a lot of older friends and very little supervision. Eventually, He found himself using methamphetamine or meth. Sometimes, it was to stay awake for work; other times to party. It started to take over his life. He had periods of recovery where he could stay away from it. But then, something like a bad relationship would cause him to use it again.
If anyone still struggling with substance use, you should take your time. It’s not going to happen overnight. You might quit in one day, but recovery can last forever. It’s hard for family members to hear this, but if you have a loved one struggling, ask them to call you when they feel like they’re going to use it. Right now, you don’t have control over what people do, but if they know you support them at their worst, you will support them at their best.