Age 19

I was a freshman at the University of Alabama.

Back then it felt like I was undecided about EVERYTHING. That was the semester we helped our friend Jason try out for Big Al, and he made it! That was the spring they fired Alabama football Coach Mike Dubose, after he had an affair with his secretary. I went from “14th floor girl” to an off campus apartment dwelling sophomore. I had no boyfriend, yet I still managed to get my heart broken a couple of times. I was always falling in love, or like, or confusion.

I was the QUEEN of clueless dating, as in I could not have been more clueless about how to handle boys.

Mostly I played hard to get, and it worked. No one got me. Ha! I was 19, and for most of us, that was what we did. Right? Surely I wasn’t the only one.

I cannot, for the life of me, remember if I spent that summer working at the physical therapy clinic or the shoe store. During the school year, I worked at Alumni Hall for the best boss ever. On campus jobs are the best!

I do remember that when I was 19, I knew exactly who I was, but I had no idea where I was going or what I would be.

That’s right. I was an undecided major. I hated that label. It felt sketchy. I was a scholarship winner. I should have a plan, a purpose of some kind! I should at least know where I was going in life.

But I didn’t. The funny thing is that I was already fulfilling my callings. I was already volunteering. Every Tuesday afternoon, I worked at Kid’s Klub, an after school club in the housing projects, where we taught kids about Jesus. I also recruited every boy I ever had a crush on to go work it with me. That eventually made it awkward after they blew me off but kept going to Kid’s Club. Ha!!

And I wrote constantly. I wrote almost every single day.

My habit was that every time I sat down to study, and I studied somewhat faithfully, I would first read something from my Bible and write in my journal.

I was always poor, as in literally out of money, so I occasionally picked up writing assignments for extra money. Someone once asked me what I used that money for. I was like, “Huh?? For food!”

Getting Crushed Too Easily…

The university had a program where you could test out of Freshman Comp (English for freshmen). Therefore, I got to enroll in an American Literature class when I was 19. That class did not go well. The grungy graduate student who taught the class hated my papers. He gave me a B+ on every single one. That seems like a fine score to me now, but back then I knew something was amiss. He never made any marks on the page. I suspected that he didn’t even read them.

I was a firm believer in talking to professors. I used to get my Bs changed to As every single semester, simply by talking to the teacher. I learned this from the movie Clueless. Thank you, Alicia Silverstone.

The graduate student, who spent each class telling us about whatever he did that weekend and how weird he thought southerners were, informed me that my papers “were like a clean coat of paint with nothing underneath.”

Youch.

He said if I wowed him on the final paper, I could get an A.

I should really find better “back in the day” photos…

I spent that week working on everything but that final paper, saved it for the last two days, and could not for the life of me find a poem I liked enough to write a paper about.

I finally scribbled out something ridiculous and turned it in. (I should have gone with Robert Louis Stevenson. You can never go wrong with Robert Louis Stevenson.)

My writer dream died that year.

Was that professor right? Maybe a little. I didn’t care much about the topics I was writing about. I was nineteen. I cared more about finding a way to walk to his class without having giant sweat circles under my arms. Tuscaloosa, Alabama is HOT, y’all! Also I was more concerned about my crushes than I was about writing brilliant essays.

Ah, well.

I was also wrong.

You cannot let the opinions of just one person, especially a person that does not even know you, affect your decisions.

I do not necessarily regret my undecided major or the fact that I never took another college literature class. It was just part of my story, and it’s a great lesson to look back on of not letting hurtful words, whether they are true or not, get you down.

Who cares if he didn’t like my papers?

Some people DID like my writing. More importantly, my writing has served many purposes in my life and in the lives of others.

I do want to live a life that pleases God. I do want to be a blessing to my family. Everyone else? Eh…. I do want to be a blessing to them, but I don’t need their approval.

The surest way to please NO ONE is to try to please everyone.

Besides, some people will never be pleased.

I did eventually declare a major: psychology, pre-physical therapy. Later on I dropped the pre-physical therapy part.

I have used my degree too, but it has never been in either of those fields because life is funny like that. The thing is, I’m a writer. I was then, and I am now. I could no more quit writing than I could change my eye color.

If you are an undecided major, or you haven’t figured out “your purpose” yet, just keep charging forward. Stop and notice what you’re already doing. Maybe that IS your purpose. It’ll eventually make more sense. Maybe you just need more time to hone your craft before you can share it. I did. True, I tried many different things and felt a little lost in the sauce after graduating, but that is a story for another day.

Wear your “undecided” with joy. Your day is coming.

Thanks for the inspiration, Tamera!

I’m off to throw a surprise birthday party with my neighbors! Happy Birthday, Jackie!!

The post Hey, It’s Okay to be an Undecided Major! appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Alan and me, the day we got engaged, 2002

Today, as I sat rocking my sweet, snotty little JD to sleep, I was reminded of a part of my love story with Alan that I don’t think about much. It’s a story I don’t recall sharing on my blog, about the boldest thing I’ve ever done for love.

Bold, outspoken, and controversial are not words that I believe apply to me, especially when I was young. When it came to boys, romance, love, and all of those sorts of things, I will tell you that I considered myself a true lady. Alan and I got married when I was 21, and he was turning 23, so I didn’t have to experience the single years for long.

I was a Southern girl.

We did not ‘make moves” or call boys. Sure, we were great flirters, but we also knew how to play hard to get. I followed the rules to the T. If I called a boy, it was because I had information to request or to relay, and even then, I did it with a great deal of uneasiness! My mama had taught me well!

I still, to this day, believe that is largely the way to go. You don’t want to end up with a cowardly guy because you made it too easy for him. You want to marry a man who loves you with such great abandon that he rose above his fears because he knew that you were the one he had to be with. That’s my kind of romance!!  Don’t you think?

I do. But with that said, I admit that there came a time, where I had to take my pride, set it aside, and place my entire hand of cards on the table. After even just my few years of dating, from age 15 to age 20, the ‘game’ had gotten on my nerves enough to realize that playing hard to get was the root of 99% of my dating (or lack thereof) misery.

My junior year of college, I re-met Alan.

I knew of him already. We were acquainted because we ran in the same circles. I knew he was a trustworthy, responsible, Christian guy, but that was about all I knew. I liked his big muscles and the way that he carried himself. He was a man amongst boys.

We proceeded to spend every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday eating lunch together, with a large group, at the school cafeteria. We always sat across from each other, and we got to know each other better and better. We were just friends. I didn’t even realize that I had come to like Alan until November.

NO GAMES

Once I finally figured out that I liked Alan, I decided that this would be one relationship in which I would play no games whatsoever. NO GAMES. Those games had caused me nothing but harm, and I was done with them. Did I rush to Alan and confess my feelings?

Heck, no! You can really freak a guy out like that! Instead, I turned up the attention level. I was careful not to flirt with other boys in front of him. I complimented him. I just enjoyed hanging out with him. I even arranged group outings and invited him along.

That worked well, and he asked me out fairly quickly. We went on our first date on December 11, 2001. The date was successful, and as he dropped me off, he asked for another date. I was flying high on the clouds of love. 🙂

Laugh all you want, but the truth is, I was falling in love with him already. You don’t have to date someone to fall in love with them. I had known of Alan for years, and I had been getting to know him well that whole semester at lunch.

Our first date was on a Tuesday. Wednesday passed, and it was finals week, so everyone’s schedule was thrown off. That meant that we did not run into each other at lunch. By Friday, Alan had STILL not called me, after our date. That’s three days! Did he not plan to take me out that weekend? Had he decided to put the brakes on dating me? Why hadn’t he called!!???

I was a whirl of emotions, and to make it worse, I knew that Friday night, I in fact would see Alan because we had both been invited to the same dinner party. How awkward!! I was going to have to face this man, this fellow that I liked so much, but who had destroyed my week of finals exams by neglecting to give me a follow-up call!!  I wasn’t just sad or disappointed; I was angry!

Friday afternoon, as I sat in my room, venting to my friend Leigh, lo and behold, guess who finally called.

It was Alan. I was relieved that he’d called, but I was still offended. What kind of girl did he think I was? I had a life. I had friends. I was a catch! You don’t call me the day of, and ask me out, after you neglected to call me all week!!!!

Did I say those things? No. Instead, I was sort of vague when he asked me to two different group outings, both of which I had already been invited to by my friends.

It went something like this:

“A lot of people are meeting at Candace’s and getting together to go to this movie. I thought I’d see if you wanted to go.”

“Yeah..Oh yeah, that. I was sort of already planning to go to that.”

“Oh. Okay. I’m going to Wes’s for dinner too, are you going?”

“Yeah.”

I don’t remember what else was said, and we hung up fairly quickly.

Leigh and I headed to the dinner party at Wes and Elizabeth’s, and Alan was there.

“So what are y’all doing after this?” Alan asked.

“Going to the movies, I guess. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, maybe, I don’t know.”

What!? Was he backing out? What in the world was going on? I didn’t have too much fun at dinner that night, thanks to my little romantic drama.

I went home in a fury of emotions.

How had this perfectly timed romance exploded in my face? What in the world was going on? Was he trying to play games with me because I was DONE with that. Leigh and Chrisynda got an EARful that night.

But as I arrived back to my room, I decided that by venting my frustrations to my friends rather than to Alan himself, that I was doing us a great disservice. This wasn’t about my relationship with my friends. This was just about two people: Alan and me.

Forget the Southern creed. I was CALLING him.

But first, let me call Leigh, and see if she thinks it’s a good idea…….okay….Leigh seemed to approve…..soooooo….it went something like this:

“Hey, April?”

Yes, even back then, we had caller ID.

“Hey. Look. We need to talk. I don’t understand what’s going on with you this week. I’m not trying to be weird or pushy or anything, but I’m just confused. You invited me to go out with your friends, but then you said you weren’t sure if you were even going. You didn’t call me all week. Do you like me or not?”

LOL Yes. Yes, I did this. No, I do not regret it.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah!!  I like you a lot, April! I like you a lot! That’s why I wanted to take you out tonight, but it didn’t seem like you wanted to go, and I’m sorry.”

“Okay, well, that’s good. I promise I’m not usually this direct, but I’m just not interested in playing any games. I don’t want to fool with that. I thought we had a really great date on Tuesday, but then you didn’t call me all week, and I was really disappointed, but I figured you must not be interested.  Then you called me this afternoon, and I was glad you did, but I don’t really like being asked out last-minute.”

Ha! Yes. I maintain that a lady should have standards, and her calendar should be respected. 😉

Alan explained that he was terribly sorry about that. He’d figured he’d see me at Burke, but then he just never did. Plus, his pals Jarrett and Will had advised him not to call right away.

Thank you, Jarrett and Will.

You know, it’s kind of funny. Maybe Alan’s buddies were a little bit right. Would I have gotten so invested in this if my pride hadn’t been threatened? Would I have liked Alan as much if he had called me on Wednesday or Thursday? I had ditched clingy boys before, so who is to say? Maybe they were right!

Maybe his strategy worked, but I think he pushed it one day too far. He should have called on Thursday!

So there you have it. Alan proposed that March, and we were married in August. We have now been married for 12 1/2 years. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.

What’s the boldest thing you ever did for love?

**********

Alan did extremely well for me this year. I was delighted to discover, while out walking in my neighborhood, that calla lilies grow naturally here. There are calla lilies all over the place! Alan took a mental note of my excitement over this and planted several calla lilies in our front yard yesterday afternoon! Love it!

You win the award, Honey. It feels like a hug every time I walk out my front door.

That’s not all, though. This year I have five Valentines. The one I got the most cards from was Caleb. Caleb made me SIX Valentine cards. He totally ‘gets me’ too, because one of my cards, which he stuck to my bedroom door, said this:

“To Mom and Dad, from Caleb

I love you. I hope you get lots of  good rest.”

What a darling! You can see why I rushed to the grocery store last night, to buy these boys more Valentine candy!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

The post The Boldest Thing I Ever Did for Love appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Of course, before he was the greatest granddaddy, he was the greatest dad, and he still is.

My dad did a lot of saving the day this year. He went to Virginia and picked up my van when every other plan had failed us. He helped my mom maintain order and take care of the children on my 2 week vacation with Alan out West. You don’t find too many folks that can take on a baby, a preschooler, and 2 ‘big’ boys for 2 whole weeks. Ya’ll did a great job. THANK YOU!!!!!

Dad and Alan got totally overlooked on Father’s Day, since we were traveling that day. This week is my dad’s birthday, and I just can’t overlook him this time!!!

There was this one day, while we were staying at my parents’ house, that Joshua walked outside, after having gotten in trouble for his attitude, and I saw that Dad was already out there. I told Mom, “Good. I hope Dad gives Joshua one of those lectures about life.” 🙂 I used to hate those!!!  But I’m so thankful you gave them to us, Dad!

I’m thankful for so many things that you did. I’m thankful you knew how to do that whole “tough love” thing. Of course, we learned early on that your bark was much worse than your bite (there was no bite). My dad just has this air of authority. You can’t fake that. When Dad enters the room, he’s in charge, and everyone knows it, but I can’t explain it at all. When he says ‘go,’ you go, and that’s all there is to it. Of course, I pushed and prodded and tested him anyway. I can’t imagine where Joshua gets it from…..

There are so many things I learned from my dad. My favorite? I love that you taught me to love boating, Dad. You let me ride on your ski boat to my heart’s content, and you never made me fish. I just liked to ride. Alan and I once took one of these “marriage surveys” to see what activities we both enjoy. We had a grand total of ONE activity in common: boating!

That’s me driving a pontoon boat, Spring Break, my senior year of high school.

….And you prepared me for my life as an Army wife. Saying ‘good-bye’ and “welcome home” were not foreign concepts to me. I made this sign for my dad when I was a child. He was coming home from the Panama Conflict.

Dad has always been fun too. This is me getting tickled, I’m sure. We used to have a running game of “last lick”, and I just can’t explain how much fun that was.

I’m amazed at how much we’ve all changed over the years, and we had the greatest joy when Dad accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior about six years ago.

I think it’s important to not wish your life away, and that’s been really hard not to do this particular summer!! Even though things have dragged out much, much longer than we had hoped, at least my children got to go spend time with the people that matter the most to us. I hope some Granddaddy wisdom and leadership rubbed off on them. I hope some Nana sweetness and affection got poured in there too–and perhaps some Nonna industriousness and stick-to-it-iveness and a little DaddyO calm and humor.

Happy Birthday, Dad!!  I love you so much, and I hope you get to come and visit very very very soon!!

The post My Dad appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

This week marks 12 years that  Alan and I have been married. God blessed the day I married my better half.

One of the best decisions I ever made was one of the ones I was most criticized for. I do think people’s opinions can be helpful, and I do listen to the advice of others. But what others? You have to be careful about which group you are listening to. Our closest friends and our parents never doubted us for a second. We had their unswerving support. It was our acquaintances and old friends that were shocked. (See, there was no Facebook back then to keep in touch with.) We had the support of those that knew the whole story, and the others were scandalized. “What!? I didn’t even know April was dating anybody!??”

We didn’t lollygag around. We dated for three months and got engaged. We were engaged for 5 months, and then we got married. We got married on the military’s time table because that’s what military couples have to do. People just couldn’t believe we did things so quickly. They didn’t realize we’d been friends and acquaintances for much longer than that.

You know what? I secretly enjoyed being ‘scandolous’ for once. It isn’t something I have experienced much. 😉

I remember vividly the day I sat with Alan, at a long cafeteria table, in Burke cafeteria, and realized that I had deeper feelings for this friend than I had even realized. We used to eat together, with a large group of friends, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I had even once observed (but kept to myself) that even on days when I did not eat with that group, Alan would still bring his tray over and have lunch with me and whatever friend I was eating with that day. We were friends. Pals. I thought that was all, and I hadn’t given it much thought–which was unusual for me, as I was something of a flirt in those days….

But there was that one day, when it was just the two of us, and Alan was talking to me about all of the great places he planned to go and adventures he hoped to have in his military career, that I suddenly felt this strong desire to go with him.

“Huh?” I thought, “Why do I care if Alan moves out west? A couple of boys that I’ve dated have already done the same thing, and I did not care when they left.”

“Wait. Do I like Alan?”

“Oh my gosh! I do. I like Alan!! I don’t want him to leave. I want to go with him.”

Once I figured all of this out, Alan didn’t stand a chance. 😉 I had already racked up a couple of relationship failures due to playing ‘hard to get.’ Not this time. This time it was on. I would not chase him. I would not call him, but by golly I was going to act exactly how I felt: happy to be with him. I also made it a point to not flirt with others around him.

This was before our “group date”, but it did involve some of the same people. We all worked together on campus. We love these people!!

I even resorted to inventing a “group date.” My friend Katie was in town, and I told her, “Katie, I know who I am going to marry, and you have to meet him.” I called him up and told him a big group of us was going to Logan’s Roadhouse for dinner. He quickly accepted our invitation. Then I turned to Katie and said, “Oh!!  Now I have to actually make a group.” I got back on the phone and quickly but carefully put together a group of friends that knew both of us, included boys that my friends liked, and well…….the rest was history. Alan asked me out before he went home that night, and we have been a couple ever since.

For a look back at our last 12 years, see last years post:  11 Years of Marriage

Do you know what made Alan so great? Do you know how we “just knew” it was right?

Well, of course we were in love, but also we used our heads. I think you could possibly fall in love with lots of people, but you need to be smart about it. We both had the same faith, morals, values, and work ethic. We both love to laugh and don’t take ourselves too seriously.  The relationship flowed easily. There was no “Oh, I can’t tell if he really likes me” crap. We were just honest with each other and treated one another with respect. We complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I am a non-confrontational person. Alan will rise up to meet confrontation seemingly easily, and he can do it (normally) without being offensive. He’s an engineer. I would have never even gone near the Engineering school.

A friend of mine once commented,  “Who wouldn’t like Alan!?” That’s the kind of man he is.

He’s the kind of man that has turned down what I consider to be a big and important job because he knew it would not be family friendly. He helps with chores. He fixes the kids breakfast. He’s absolutely hilarious. He’s faithful. He loves me–even when I’m crazy-stressed-not fun-April, he still loves me. He’s still super-good-looking too. 🙂

This was a hard year for us. Going to four children was exciting, but it was HARD WORK. Plus, he had a very big project going on at work. PLUS, he had to take the exams, apply to universities, AND move the family this year. Meanwhile, I was juggling all that comes with managing a family of 6–the housework, oh the housework!

It’s been a wild ride. It’s been 12 years. I hope we have 100 more.

I’d like to stop and take a look back at the wild 12th year:

I was standing in Nevada. Alan was in Arizona.

I called this our 3rd honeymoon. 🙂

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

I look forward to the 13th year. We will finally settle into a new house, we will tackle our first year of home-schooling–through the Classical Conversations tutoring service, we will be Californians, Alan will be in school, I will be blogging away, and who knows what else! That’s the fun of it.

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together,  let man not separate.”              Matthew 19: 4-6

We have spent all of July apart, due to this PCS move, but I will be with you tomorrow, Alan.

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It’s easy to feel happy and hopeful when life is going pretty well. Sure, life is hectic always with little boys to take care of, but at least you can find some sort of ‘normal’ in that. We are all healthy. Things have been okay. Isn’t it funny how easy it is to shake your head at the whiners when your life looks pretty good? I think it’s pretty common to become annoyed with people who are going through a hard time and are constantly whining about it.

Proverbs 14:20:

“The poor is hated even of his own neighbor:  but the rich hath many friends.”

There are many Bible verses that echo that sentiment.

No, we are not poor, not even a little bit. However, hard times do come to all of us. I have been without a place of my own since June 13th. Alan has his little hotel room in California, but the boys and I have gone between my parents’ and Alan’s parents’ houses in Alabama. We’ve been sleeping in their living rooms, invading their beds and kitchens, and in general totally disrupting their way of life.

THANKFULLY, both sets of them seem to be happy to have us. My parents were terribly sad to see us leave last week. (Sorry, ya’ll!! We do miss you!)

The thing is it’s been 40 days now, and we are ready to have our own place to call home, you know?

No problem, right? My house is mine in only one more week. We pick up our keys on August 1st. Hurray! Plane tickets are purchased, and movers are booked…..

WAIT! Not so fast. The current tenants have decided to delay a week. Oh, now, isn’t that cute?

grrrr

Do I get angry? Do I cry into my pillow and pound my fists on the floor? *Sigh* Why bother? That’s just life. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “Life is just a series of problems to be solved.” Ha! It’s true, and you know it! But as Alan’s dad recently said, “It really is just a series of problems to be solved, but thankfully there are enough good moments sprinkled in there to make it worth it.”

🙂 Sprinkle. Sprinkle.

chubby baby cheekies and Daniel quotes: At least I still have those!

Watching Joshua study animals and checking out Caleb’s latest fort–that he has constructed–in the hallway, blocking all hallway traffic…..how I love it.

children on slip-n-slides, mint Klondike bars, hearing from someone who says that they enjoy reading my blog, and big giant hugs from my handsome and amazing husband (I MISS that right now!) These things DO make it worth it.

Plus, we’ve had bonus grandparent quality time, so at least we haven’t been living in a hotel all this time!

So what now? Will we rearrange Nonna’s plane ticket for later? Will that work? She was going to help us unpack, but there will be nothing to unpack until at least August 11th. I actually will have to live in a hotel for 11 days…..yikes! Is that even possible with four children???

Ya’ll! How is this four kids/hotel thing going to work? Anyone have any advice!?

The thing about problems is that they DO happen to everybody. Do you think I’m excited about spending two months (when it’s all said and done) of this year, basically homeless? Do you think I’m not worried about how this anxiety is affecting my children? Let me tell you. They are greatly affected.

We all have hard things to deal with sometimes, right? The important thing is HOW we handle our problems. You probably think I’ve handled this well, but that’s only because you haven’t had to live with me. Ha!!  Not kidding. I have been impatient with my children and probably also a slightly ungracious house guest. I do want to do better. It reminds me of that country song, “Heaven knows she’s not an angel, but she’d really like to be….”

Thank you so much, Mom and Dad, DaddyO and Nonna, for helping us through this time. Thank you to my brother for driving Alan’s truck across the country!

I hope to do better than my best through the rest of this stressful moving process. I hope to tackle the difficulties while still managing to share God’s love with others and decrease the amount of sighing and complaining.

Thank you all so much for reading my blog. It has been the perfect outlet during these years of figuring out the whole parenting/military life thing! I know it bothered a few of you when I made the blog public last year, but thank you for sticking by me anyway.

Now let’s just pray the tenants don’t push this back any more, or we will have to find another house. I really have my heart set on living on the military base. I like the efficiency of the move-in/move-out system. I also like the whole “no security deposit” thing. Pretty awesome, huh?

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”        Psalm 34:19

“though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:24

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In my head, and even sometimes on paper, I always have at least 10 good ideas for things I want to write about on my blog.

I even sometimes manage to write it all out in my head, exactly what I will write….if I can just get a minute…..to make that my priority.

Just this week, there was a delicious 7 layer cake that I made, numerous thoughts on my first year of parenting 4 children, even more thoughts on John David’s first year, there have been countless farewell thank you’s I have wanted to say, and people I wanted to recognize, and 5 years of DC experiences I’d love to reminisce. There have been hilarious quotes from my children, public embarrassment that we have suffered, brilliant ideas that I’ve gotten from my friends……oh the list goes on and on.

But the thing is I’m too busy. Even now, it is 10pm, and I really should be sleeping because it is Sunday night, we had a non-stop weekend, and I am exhausted.

I guess it will be a long, long time before I finish that book I started two years ago.

Do you know why? I’m just too busy being a mom and enjoying life to get much actual work done.

Maybe when we move and none of us have any friends, I’ll write more. This blog will serve as my notes. If life ever slows down, I will have this blog to look back on this phase of constant activity and young, precious, needy little ones to care for. I will look back and remember. How I love it!!  I do!

Alan and I did not start out our marriage planning to have a ‘big family,’ and really, our family isn’t all that big–just a little above average. I’m so thankful that we took the chance and that God blessed us the way that he has.

“Who am I, O LORD God, and what is mine house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?”   1 Chronicles 17:16

It was actually even tastier than it looks, thank you very much.

Today I sold my breast pump to a lady exactly my age.

She is 4 months pregnant and excited to become a stay-at-home-mom. She asked me how I like it. “It’s great!” I told her, “and I think it’s easier.” I do. Well, it’s just a little less to juggle–no career stress and no childcare stress. Good childcare is hard to find–and that especially matters when you are having to find full-time childcare.

Staying home with my children is a privilege–a privilege that many women cannot afford to have, and I am so thankful for it.

I keep reading about ways to “make money blogging.” I would love to make money blogging. Is it going to happen anytime soon? Nope. I just can’t make myself do it. I have approval from an ad agency sitting in my email account. All I would have to do is code it into my site to just get the ball rolling. Eventually, I will. It won’t make much at first, but it would be a first step. I would love to make enough eventually to send my children to a good private school… one day.

But that day is not today. Today I start to blog, and I hear Daniel ask me to read him a book….okay…of course I will….Then I start to blog later, and I hear JD waking up from his nap. Nope, not blogging time yet. Then there are mouths to feed, messes to clean up, errands to run, diapers to change…..well you get the idea. Is it really possible to ‘work from home’ with two toddlers under foot?

By 10 pm, my duties are somewhat done. Not really. There are pans in the sink from that cake I made. 7 layers, people!!

(In my defense, I did run the dishwasher.)  I didn’t do any laundry today, so I have four full hampers to contend with tomorrow, at least. On Sunday, I deserve the day off from the laundry, so no guilt there.

So at 10pm, my chores are at a stopping place, and I can finally blog. I think I would need more than just an hour every few nights to build a profitable website.

These other little jobs are just more important to me than any blogging or writing or money ever will be. This is such a short phase, and I want to enjoy it because you know what? Babies don’t keep.

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Last night Alan and I booked a babysitter and went to see the new movie “Mom’s Night Out.” Thankfully, MY night out was a lot less eventful/stressful than the one you will watch in the movie.

This was a seriously cute, wholesome, sometimes funny, sometimes tear-jerker movie. It was produced by a Christian film company, and stars several unknown actors, but also has Patricia Heaton and Trace Atkins, which is also awesome. Actually, some of the other actors looked familiar too, but since I’m completely out of touch with pop culture, I wouldn’t know who is famous and who isn’t half the time!

Alan’s mom has been telling me that I just have to see this movie because a.) It’s hilarious and uplifting and b.) I will totally be able to relate.

I went expecting to laugh hard.  I did laugh a few times, but the truth is I cried more than I laughed….but don’t let that scare you. It was a great movie, you should all go see it, whether you are drowning in children (as I am) or not.

Women who did the whole toddler thing ages ago will probably find the references to children drawing on walls, raiding the kitchen, and playing in the toilet funny. At my stage, it just looks like every other stressful day of my life.

I wasn’t quite prepared for how uncanny the resemblance to my life was: hence the tears, so the good news is that you might be able to watch this movie without crying at all. The similarities were just insane: red-headed mom of three little ones (Okay, I said similar, not exact), mom-blogger–seriously–, church attending Christian lady, and by the way her husband was often out of town, and her son loved to play in the toilet. Thankfully, I do not have the whole ‘neat-freak/germ-phobe’ issue she confessed of.

Her kid drew a photo of their family, and the dad was represented by an airplane flying over the family. This reminded me of when Alan came home from Iraq the second time, and at his return home celebration, Caleb ran to the wrong man at the airport.

Also: Dan did grow out of the toilet phase about a year ago. (Thank you, Lord!) And Alan has gone quite a while without traveling now, but oh buddy–have I been there!

So when you watch a movie about someone doing all the things you do and feeling all the stress you feel, tears are just going to happen.  I’m pretty sure the main character said a few exact lines that I have actually written here on my blog.

Oh! And Patricia Heaton was hilarious and relatable as a mom of a teen as well! I especially related to her texting difficulties, and that was the one thing that really got me laughing out loud. If you’ve ever texted me, you may know that I am horrible at it! That cracked me up.

The message of the movie is wonderful: embrace your life and your job and just do it without letting all the stuff get to you– so it’s messy. What isn’t? And this is the beauty of it being a Christian film: the other message is that Jesus loves you right where you are. Just trust him.

It was wonderful. Go see it, and when you do, you should know that there are a LOT more cute scenes all the way through to the very last credits. If you haven’t seen the part where the mom and dad tell the little girl that mommy and daddy were just getting in some cuddle time in the kitchen floor, then you haven’t seen the end of the movie yet.  Stay until after the very last credit.

2 thumbs up here!

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