And yet, Alan and Daniel are the only two still standing. It starts as a scratchy throat, then it is sore. Snot kicks in, and for Caleb and me there is a cough. You can see why we worried it was covid or strep, but it is not.

I have been up half the night coughing for four days now, and it feels like I keep getting worse. I think I am currently fighting off bronchitis.

So yeah, we have been better. I have spent a great deal of 2021 sickly.

I know you did not come here to read about our medical problems, though, and we are waaaaaaaay overdue for an update-on-life post, so let’s just do that.

Quite a few things have happened since last we talked.

1.) I got to be on my first podcast. FUN!!!!!

My podcast episode is already recorded, but it is not published yet. Or wait, if it is a podcast, do they say published, or more like released? Anyway, you can rest assured I will be letting you know on here and all my social medias when it is available.

What in the world was I on a podcast for, you ask? Raising boys? Army life? Moving expert?

Haha! No!!! Wedding dresses!!!!

I once wrote this article about my fascination with wedding dresses. The funny thing is that when I looked back through this blog I discovered that I have actually blogged about wedding dresses several times. It is the ultimate pretty dress, okay?

So there is this podcast channel that is devoted to all things wedding gowns! It is called Choosing Your Reflection.

In the show, I got to talk about exactly what you’d expect, my wedding dress, what it meant to me, and the tragedy that eventually befell the dress. Granted, this channel may be a little girly for some of my readers (*cough* Dad), but I thought it was a fun thing to be a part of. Check out their channel here, and keep an eye out for when my interview is released!

#2. Glorious surprise that’s also kind of funny:

Now in our defense, there are TWO trashcans in the photo, even though you only see one well. You see? If it were put up properly, it would not stick out like a sore thumb.

The boys usually handle trash duty, but two days ago I had a bag I actually took out to the can myself, and I was delightfully surprised by this row of hot pink azaleas lining the trash can spot on the side of our house.

I love how beauty can thrill the soul, and pick you up when you are suffering from not-the-COVID. But then there is also a hilarious out of place trashcan to say….there’s always real life stuff to deal with, like trash.

#3. On days when I did not feel like I was resting on death’s doorstep from not-the-COVID, I have been ORGANIZING.

OUR HALL TREE BEFORE:

AND AFTER:

I literally just now noticed the blue post-it note on the mirror. Ha! I don’t even know if I did that or John David.

Yes, it would look better without the masks and Alan’s running gear, but you see those are daily use items. Empty hooks may be prettier, but we are in a phase of life where we actually NEED to use the hooks.

P.S. The storage bin part of it is now minus about ten hats and three purses. Plus, I even cleaned out the purses.

Organizing is my happy place.

Just imagine how organized my house would be if I did not have people to take care of. When I was a kid, I used to regularly re-alphabetize and group my book collection over and over again. There is something about having this one small space that you can feel hyper-in-control of.

You know why? I think it is because most of life is completely out of our control. One never knows when one will get sick with COVID or not-the-Covid. Fires, moves, sick family members, job changes, rain, consequences of decisions….You never know what will show up on your doorstep on any given day. Sure, you hope it’s just your Amazon package, but some days it’s more like a pesky sales person who talks you into buying something you did not even want!

We are trying our best though.

Some exciting things were accomplished in April. I got myself a Good Housekeeping magazine subscription, completely cleaned out two kitchen drawers and four cabinets, and re-organized the entire living room. Next time maybe I will post some more before and after photos of all that!!

I had this giant box all ready to collect donations for Goodwill, but instead I ended up filling up like three bags of trash. Most of what we were keeping was completely useless.

Hmmm…trash just keeps coming up today.

In fact, if you come over and catch this not-the-Covid from me, you too can feel like trash.

I’m super happy about how much decluttering was accomplished though, and there are about ten Target bags full of donation items in the garage now.

#4. How did I get on this whole donating/tossing things kick?

One day, back before I got sick again, I was feeling bummed. That’s a feeling I’ve gone back and forth with for a while now. The year of rona was not helpful for mental health.

Anyway, I was in the laundry room, feeling especially uninspired by my daily tasks. I cracked open my computer, which I rarely even use lately. Then I went to YouTube because they make a video for everything these days.

In the You Tube search bar, I typed in “How to better manage your time as a mom and house keeper.” (or something like that)

This came up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWstD4NB4CY

She is called the Minimal Mom. Decluttering and getting rid of tons of stuff is something all Army families do over and over and over again, but it has piled up on me, and I needed to do this again. I find her very relatable. She also has four children, so I knew her advice would make sense to me!

I loved her “decide on one most important goal for each day” rule.

#5. One last funny!

Alan took Daniel and JD camping, and this is a little snapshot of the inside of John David’s suitcase. This isn’t even all of it, but it’s just so funny what a seven-year-old boy thinks is important to pack.

Also, y’all, there’s a Bible in there because this boy is a man with a plan. His current plan is that he is going to go to seminary after high school, be a pastor, and live down the street from me in Alabama, where I will also go to his church. That really gets you in the feels, doesn’t it? I mean I’m not too sure his future wife will love the idea of living down the street from us, but I plan to be on my best behavior so as not to prevent this dream from coming true!! Love it!!!

So life in 2021 has its ups and downs as usual.

What year doesn’t? The boys are sort of enjoying being back in school. One of them stayed home, but he will go back in the fall.

If we can just all get well, I feel like things are about to get good. I have fun things planned for the summer.

Don’t forget to catch me on the podcast at Choosing Your Reflection! I will let you know when it becomes available! Y’all, stay healthy! After a year at home, I don’t think our immune systems are as awesome as they were before.

The post Life in 2021: The Podcast, The Decorated Trashcan, & They Say it’s Not the Covid. appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

I’m going to do these in order of the year and my memory. Most things that happened have been forgotten, of course. But here are 10 happy memories.

#1. The snowed out promotion ceremony

All set for a stressful day at the Pentagon, when SURPRISE, snow buried D.C., and we got to have Alan’s promotion ceremony in the comfort and relaxation of our own home–in the basement, in fact.

I had worked so hard to find all the boys fancy outfits for that day, so I made them wear them anyhow. My friend, and next-door-neighbor Stacie, helped me map out a last minute catering plan, and cooked half of it herself. See, the plan was for a Pentagon restaurant to cater the event. Instead, Stacie and I pooled our resources and had more than enough delicious things to eat.

#2. The BIG announcement I was completely unprepared for

Believe it or not, this one was on the exact same day as the promotion. Or maybe it was the day after it. I’m not sure. Alan’s parents were in town, so Alan decided to take me out for a date night. I suspected nothing. Alan said we could do whatever I wanted, and I wanted to go for a walk in the snow. Alan agreed. I have no idea why I wasn’t suspicious. Most people (other than myself) hate going walking in the snow, and yet he acted like this was exactly the best idea.

We’re walking along a path on Fort Belvoir, and Alan says, “I need to tell you something. My branch manager called me last Thursday, and he told me that he couldn’t tell me anything more but that I’m less than 100 days out from a PCS move.”

No worries. Alan was clearly joking. Such a kidder he is.

But alas, this was no joke. One year after we pulled in to Virginia, we were to pull right back out and move on to the next duty station.

I tried to be cool about it, at least I hope I did, but honestly I was fairly depressed until late March when they finally told us where we were going. Being left hanging in the dark does not sit well with me.

Okay, I do realize I said these were the 10 best memories, but that moment is forever etched in my brain, it came so out of the blue that it goes on the list, whether it was a very happy moment or not. If we learned noting at all from the Disney movie Inside Out, it’s that the blue memories can be equally important as the golden yellow ones.

#3. Being in Hayfield again

This wasn’t just one moment. It was all the moments. I loved sitting with my friends everyday at the “boy mom” table, waiting for our children to get out of school. Walking the neighborhood, stopping to say hello to half a dozen people each time, having coffee with Amy, laughing at Monica’s jokes, cul-de-sac parties by Amy and Betsy’s, having the cops called on us for shooting off fireworks on a non-holiday (so much fun), bonfires at Kevin and Mary Kay’s, and Stacie always helping me with missing ingredients, dog decisions, and life in general. We were all so actively involved in one another’s lives, and that’s what makes Hayfield so fun.

#4. Watching our boys play sports and feel successful

Coach pitch league is just adorable, so watching John David play was a ball. He even turned out to be a much more skilled baseball player than I expected. Daniel made all-star for the first time. He was beyond excited about that. Our oldest continues to excel in basketball, and Caleb gave lacrosse a go. He can almost officially say he’s tried every team sport. I just enjoy watching them try these things out.

#5. The First Truly Fun Beach Trip in About 14 Years

Our youngest child is 6 now. No one needs swim diapers. Only the youngest needs a float, and only two of them constantly ask us to adjust their goggles.

At the beach, they all have better sense than to take off running in the wrong direction. Everyone pretty much stays together. No one fights the sunscreen process. Two of them are now taller and stronger than me and therefore can carry more things.

Basically, everything that used to be SO MUCH WORK for like 30 minutes of sort-of fun, is not bad now. We have turned a serious corner. Everyone got in the water this year too. We had a legitimately wonderful time.

#6. Whole Family Headbanz

While we were at the beach, we had to fill all the middle, super strong-sun hours of the day with indoor activities. Why? Well, because we are pale, and sunburn hurts and is dangerous.

There are not many games, almost zero in fact, that you can find that all 6 of us will want to play. I mean really it’s just that there aren’t many games that Alan and our oldest son will play. The rest of us love the games.

We struck gold with Headbandz. Tons of laughs. Highly recommend.

#7. That afternoon at Gunpowder Falls State Park, Jerusalem Mill Village

I’m sort of a state park addict. I love nature and hiking and walking and seeing historical landmarks. It makes me very happy, so there’s that to begin with. Our children, on the other hand, are often reluctant to go on our excursions. It’s as though touring the entire country from birth to now has worn out their need for adventure. Huh.

That day we discovered that they actually get excited to go if, and only if, we let the dog come too.

Rosie came too, and we had a truly happy day exploring an old Quaker village with a covered bridge and a lovely little waterfall and a short hike.

#8. Our first day in Sunday School here

Sometimes it takes us f-o-r-e-v-e-r to decide on a church to call our own at a new place. Don’t even get me started on this topic. But when we set foot into this Sunday school this time, we were in for a ride.

Usually, our class is full of cookie cutter military families, people exactly like us. Hey, I’m not knocking that. I think being like us is a good thing, obviously. We like who we are.

This class has a few veterans, but no active duty members. And oh my goodness– this crowd was hilarious. They poked fun at each other, they laughed, my face hurt from smiling so much, and then at the end of the class, they all go around person by person and say their current prayer need. It was all so very personal and fun. Almost relaxing, except the teacher might pick on you next, so you stay awake for sure.

We left class, and I said, “Well, that was different…”

Alan said emphatically, “Yeah. It was… it was.. different, and the people were different…”

“Yeah, and yet I enjoyed it.”

“Yeah!”

“Well, I’m glad we agree.”

So we’ve been going to this class ever since.

#9. Seeing my cousin Amber

Long years went by where I didn’t see Amber at all. Usually, when we do see each other, it’s because someone has died, and we are both there for the funeral. I got to see Amber 2 years ago when her mother was in the hospital and then again last year for her mother’s funeral.

It was a breath of fresh air to have Amber visit us this year, and no one had to die. We toured D.C. and New York City, and we had a ball. There’s an extra something special about people you shared your childhood with.

#10. Quiet Thanksgiving at home where I got to make all the food

I had not gotten to cook our Thanksgiving lunch since 2013, and odd as it may sound, it’s something I have been wanting to do. When I cook it myself, I get to make only dishes we eat as a family, the way that they were made when I was a child. That means the cranberry sauce is as it should be, from a CAN. There is dressing, not stuffing. No one has to eat green bean casserole or turkey gravy because I don’t like it, and no one else asked for it. The children don’t spend the morning protesting about leaving their house, and we can all pass out after dinner and not speak to each other for the rest of the day. It’s a beautiful thing, and it made me soooooo happy.

That’s all, folks. What are your best memories from 2019?

The post My 10 Favorite Memories from 2019 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Starting a new school in a new land is harder than I anticipated, but I felt like day 2 actually went very well for all the boys.

School started back yesterday. 

This was an exciting event that I’d finished in high gloss and framed in my mind as a victorious day ushering in a new era for me.

Without a single pre-schooler following me around I will have a spotless house, serve gourmet dinners, volunteer at their school, and run wild and free through grassy meadows.

Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

High expectations. I love to do that to myself.

Three years ago, my heart began to give me trouble, so I saw a cardiologist, and she told me not to exercise until we’d figured out what was going on with my heart.

We’ve never fully figured out what is causing my v-tach episodes, but they gave me back my freedom to exercise. Phew!

That lasted for about 6 months, and then my general practitioner took away my exercise again. “Only exercise in water. Otherwise, your joints are going to get worse and worse.”

Limitations. I hate them. Who doesn’t?

Anyway, am I not too young for such physical limitations and too old to have silly, unrealistic expectations?

For two years, I did not exercise. Occasionally, I’d rebel, suffer the pain of it, and reform. Meanwhile, my weight packed on at lightning speed.

I’ve come to see myself as this overweight, tired lady with a ticking-time-bomb heart and deflated dreams.

Lovely, eh? That’s disgruntled, disappointed, low self-esteem at its best.

But this hope of having a whole 6.5 hours/day to accomplish things alone drove me.

“I can lose the weight.”

“I can walk so much and do so many weight-bearing exercises (with small weights) that I can’t possibly mess it up with chocolate chip cookies.”

“Alan will love how clean the house is, and he will be impressed with me.”

“My blog will thrive again because I will have so much time to pour into it.”

“The sky’s the limit! I can do anything I want!”

“I’ll finally go get that MRI I was supposed to get a month ago and show the cardiologist how good my heart is doing.”

Some of these thoughts are healthy, I think. You gotta have drive to get through life, ya know?

And yet, you know what is inevitable with hopes of this sort? Disappointment. Problems. Unmet expectations.

Back to school day one wasn’t even over before Daniel developed strep throat. So guess who isn’t at home slaying all these accomplishments today? Me.

Daniel said, “No, I just want to sit in here with you, on the sofa.”

For 5 hours, I basically just sat with Daniel and cuddled on the couch. We watched Ninjago and Peter Rabbit and looked at old family photos of vacations at Legoland and the beach.

I still enjoyed it, but normally I would’ve cherished it so much more because I wouldn’t have had all these unmet goals in my head.

So no, today I did not impress my husband or anyone else for that matter. I have no idea what we will be eating for dinner. I actually fell asleep in Daniel’s bed around 1pm and woke up to see a giant block tower with farm fences built beside the bed and Daniel downstairs playing the x-box.

If I don’t get strep throat myself, it’s a miracle. Plus, I’m playing chauffeur tonight, which I rather despise, so I’m dreading that.

But God knew this all along, didn’t he? He knew my freedom would have a brief interlude. He knew I’d make grand plans that would fill me with disappointment when they came crashing down in front of me.

It’s actually serving as a good reminder to me, though it doesn’t feel like anything “good,” because I so desperately wanted to be wonderfully productive this week.

The thing is life isn’t about accomplishments, exercise, to do lists, or gourmet meals. Life is about love and people. That’s what life is about.

Yes, you heard it. I am DEFINING life right here on my little, low-traffic blog!!  And I dare you to argue with me. Ha! Because this time I’m right. (Maybe just this once, okay?)

Life is about love and people, so when you look at it this way, perhaps I am a smashing, unexpectedly amazing success after all because that is exactly what this day was about. Love and Daniel, and he is a person.

Just look at your life through that lens when it feels like you don’t have an accomplishment to your name. What’s success anyway, if it isn’t about love?

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.    1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

You might think, “No, April. Love and God.”

Well, yes, but if you love God then you must love people. You SHOULD love God most of all, but you should display that by loving his people. How can any of us love God, who we can’t see, if we don’t love people, who are right in front of us?

After all that’s what the Bible teaches:

Thus I am reminded to be content, no more like empowered, to show love and maybe only achieve 1 or 2 things from my list, or maybe none at all. I can work on this list any day at all, but Daniel needs me TODAY.

I hope you’re having a good day too, loving God and people. I’ll bet you’re way more of a smashing success than you think you are!

The post Disappointments and Limitations: Starting a New School in a New State appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

I love to study. Sometimes it baffles me when children in this house do not share my desire to pour over books and take notes. I love it. This is what I do. It’s what I have done my whole life.

When JD, at 2 years old, would wake up in the morning, pull up a kitchen bar stool, and say, “Let’s study shapes, Mom!!” my heart would swell with pride. This is my boy.

When Joshua memorized all the species of whales at 3 years old, and checked out every single library book on badgers at 5, I knew that this apple was not falling far from the tree. (These days he memorizes sports statistics instead.)

By the end of my own kindergarten year, the library was my favorite place. It’s sad that all these years later we are banned from the library.

I know what you’re thinking. You are thinking it’s my kids’ fault, or my fault for not controlling my boys. But that wasn’t it at all. My boys love to go to the library, and while they are sometimes a little rambunctious, they have never actually caused any problems there.

It was me. I’m the reason.

In 2015, I paid $250 in library late fees, which included some fees left over from 2014.

In 2016, I paid ~$80 in library late fees, because I was trying harder and being more careful.

In Monterey, I could keep it under the radar. The librarians there were cool with us. Who doesn’t want the lady who donates $250 to the library?

But here in the South, I made the mistake, hefty mistake, of signing up for text alerts for when my books were due. I think the texts also went to the email account that I share with Alan, the same Alan who is very sensible with his money, maybe a little more sensible and organized than his wife…

Alan soon realized that I don’t bat an eye at returning a book a week overdue and continuing to use my library account.

I figure if the library lets me, I’ll just put it off until later, and they do always let me carry a balance. The library here is kind of far away, and I have trouble remembering where it is exactly and how to get there….

Poor Alan. The stress was too much. He was all calling the library to make sure we’d returned them all, going by there and paying all the late fees, and then he said it. He did.

“Can you please stop checking books out from the library?”

At least I think he said it. If he didn’t say it out loud, he was surely thinking it.

So I said it: “Okay. I know. I was wrong. I’m sorry. We will never check books out from the library again.”

I can be dramatic like that.

Alan was all, “Phew!!! Yes, I mean yes, obviously, you should not.”

Sigh.

And that was how we got banned from the library, and how I started shopping more at Book Fairs, Scholastic store online, and Amazon, so I’m not altogether sure we’re saving any money, but we do get to keep the books now…..which is actually sort of a storage problem.

And that is why the library is part of my New Year’s Resolution for 2017.

Yes, I’m aware that I didn’t actually make any New Year’s resolutions back in January, but I’m making one now. Right here, in the month of April, or as you might say MY MONTH.

I am getting my organizational act together!

I have actually been writing in and checking that planner that I bought. This is a BIG DEAL for me.

Every 2 to 3 years, we get completely uprooted, and I have to basically start life all over again, so maybe that helps you understand why I do not have the deeply engrained schedules that you may have. For a military wife, life changes drastically constantly. In 1 more year, we will probably move yet again.

Sometimes I’m guilty of feeling like why bother.

But you know what? I’ve got a lot of kids’ schedules to figure out now, and the older they get the more activities they have, and I’m going to have to get used to writing all this stuff down.

To be fair, it’s a lot of people to keep up with. 😉

So here’s my plan to lift the library ban.

1. Look at my planner every single day.  I’m going to do that as soon as I finish this article.
2. Take my planner with me, and write down each upcoming responsibility down on the calendar so I won’t forget.
3. Check out 1 library book, write down the due date in the planner, and see if I can get it back to the library on time.
4. If that works, I’m going to check out 2 books the next time!!!

So what about you guys? Have any of you ever paid $200 in library fees? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve also lost books and had to buy the library new ones. I didn’t feel like this made me a bad customer. I felt like it just made me a frequent flyer, and these things were inevitable. Right? I say yes.

Have a FUN weekend, y’all. Life’s too short to not.

“Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. ” Ecclesiastes 5:7

“May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests.   Psalm 20: 4-5

The post How We Got Banned From the Library & My Plan appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Joshua had several different speaking parts in this year’s school program. I was so excited and nervous for him. You would’ve thought I was the one with lines.

Well, if you’re new here you might not realize that I’m sort of a reluctant teacher. It’s not that I don’t possess the joy of teaching. Sometimes it is fun. The thing is that I cannot enjoy having so many things to do. There’s a fourth grader to teach, a third grader to teach, and a toddler running around. I finally threw in the hat and sent Daniel to pre-school, but it’s only three days per week, so sometimes he’s home too.

Then there’s the blog, the meals, I should at least talk to my husband occasionally (sarcasm. It’s just sarcasm), and the laundry, and heaven forbid, social outings or extracurricular activities.

It is not my cup of tea. I was not built to run around like a chicken with my head cut off and try to do so many things at one time. In the words of my adorable 2-year-old nephew in the swimming pool last year, “Don’t like it. Don’t like it. Don’t like it.”

I feel like I have so many things to do that I can’t do any of them well, because that’s exactly how it is.

So yes, this is the HAPPIEST season of all. Why? Because the school year is ending!!! I calculated very carefully. We will reach exactly 180 days on May the 24th.

We are all so ready for summer.

So we have a few pictures of the end-of-year-Classical Conversations program for ya and a little synopsis of what we covered at our humble little school. It was an intense year.

For Joshua, this year was all about learning the parts of speech and how to write essays. Each 4th-6th grade student diagrammed a sentence for the program.

Nonna and Alan. I was thankful we got to have a grandparent with us for the program. Living so far away from everyone, this is a rarity for us.

Caleb did a great job too. His class all recited their science facts together. They recited the parts of the atmosphere, types of leaves and leaf parts, and types of volcanoes.

These two were happy to be audience members. JD loves Daniel with the sort of undying devotion that only a sweet little sibling can give.

Not the best photo of Dan, but look at how HAPPY JD is! He’s ready for Mom to be done teaching and become his personal servant again.

What We Learned About This Year:

161 events and people in a chronological timeline (We love our time line song. Check it out here.)

44 U.S. Presidents– This is Caleb’s favorite memory work. He says them at lightning speed.
24 history sentences to add depth to our timeline
144 locations and geographic features in Africa, Europe, and the Old World

Caleb’s freehand watercolor world painting

24 biology and earth science facts including the classifications of living things and each continent’s highest mountain) Joshua totally rocked the highest mountains on each continent. I still can’t tell you them, but Joshua can.

5 Latin noun cases and noun endings and their singular and plural declensions
English Grammar Facts (including 53 prepositions, 23 helping verbs, and 12 linking verbs)
Multiplication tables up to 15×15, common squares and cubes, as well as basic geometry formulas and unit conversions

Oh! And we read the most interesting history text-book I’ve ever read. I’m pleased as punch to tell you that we finished the entire book. Alan even enjoyed getting in on this one. He would read it to them before bed at night. Home school is flexible like that!:

You may remember how I ran off all the corresponding activity sheets to go with Story of the World last summer. I thought we’d do so many of them. We did like 5, but that’s okay. We were perfectly happy to listen, learn, and memorize.

Joshua even wrote essays on the Trojan War and Greek mythology.

So now we’ve started on volume II. Caleb enjoys listening to the stories in the car, and Joshua enjoys reading them during silent reading time.

Joshua is 80% of the way through Teaching Textbooks Math 4, which was a much better fit for him than the A Beka curriculum, mostly because it took ME out of the equation. Ha!

Caleb is still doing well with his A Beka math. He’s our math stud. Joshua’s our master speller.

It was a hard year. I brought on board a reading tutor, a part-time nanny (just on Fridays), several doctors (for me), and a cleaning lady just to make it sort of work. But it’s almost done! CC is done! AWANA will be done as of next Wednesday (Thank goodness!), and school will totally be finished May 24th. I’m counting the hours.

Meanwhile, I have not had a fever today, so whoo-hoo!!! Now I’m off to feed the children and head to Joshua’s baseball game!

The post A Happy Season for Me: Wrapping Up Homeschool Year 2 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Finding joy climbing the mountains of life…..Even JD climbed these rocks, believe it or not. I would have died watching JD do that, but they left me at home, so I didn’t see it.

Tonight I’m hosting my home school moms’ group.

That means that I will be spending all day trying to clean up my house, take care of four children, and cook.

I need to make sure that I don’t fall into the prideful trap of cleaning up my house to try to make myself look good.

It’s not about me.

Let’s not put on a show and act like my house is always this neat, if I even manage to get it neat.

It’s about my guests. They need to feel at ease and cozy. The house should smell good. The surfaces should all be cleaned off, with plenty of places to sit. The bathroom should feel squeaky clean, as though no four-year-old boy has ever peed there before.

….But not so I can pretend like I’m the Queen of Clean.

Who are we kidding here?

Instead I need to focus on this:

I just want to create an inviting atmosphere for women who are getting a night off. Everyone needs a night off. Parents do not get nights off. Those are hard to find. I just want a room full of laughing women, encouraging each other through this life-changing thing that we call parenting.

I always leave moms’ nights feeling inspired and uplifted. That’s what I’m hoping for tonight.

I hope the food is yummy too.

So with that in mind, I will not panic if my hostess day does not go as planned.

-Not even if Daniel tears down the towel rack because he thought that he could swing from it like a monkey.

-Not even if John David proudly carries a Tonka dump truck full of dirt and dumps it onto my carpeted dining room floor.

He loves dirt. No, I mean he LOVES dirt, as in he thinks it’s so great that he gives it to people as gifts.

-Not even if I run out of toilet bowl cleaner. Shampoo works for that too, and it smells better.

-Not even if I have to change recipes because of a cooking mistake.

-Not even if I burn the bread.

-Not even if my vacuum cleaner quits.

-Not even if someone breaks their arm. (Please, boys, do not break your arms today.)

I will not panic. I will not. I will not go into my room and scream into my pillow because if my motives are in the RIGHT place, I will remember that these sort of problems are just hiccups and stories.

I’m reading this incredible book, by Lysa Terkeurst. In fact, if you click on this link to buy the book for yourself, I make a whopping 4 cents a copy. (Haaaaa! Not even kidding.)

She pointed this “not about me thing” out to me, in chapter 7 of her book. I came “Unglued” this week in the exact way she described in chapter 7 because of my wrong motives. I so badly wanted Alan’s parents to think that I was a good parent and a decent housekeeper that I way overdid it on my first born, over a pair of basketball shorts, of all things. I put so much pressure on myself, that I get all worked up over the dumbest things.

Also, I should pause here and THANK my in-laws for 1.) raising Alan, 2.) helping clean my house so I can blog on hostess day, and 3.) catching up on laundry. Let’s face it. When you have four kids, life is really just laundry anyway. Endless amounts of laundry…..Oh! And 4.) Being so wonderful. Thank you!

So back to this week’s meltdowns…..

The details aren’t necessary. Just know that sometimes I lose it, and maybe sometimes you lose it too. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you’re more of a stuffer, and you stuff your problems or shut people out.

I usually end up doing both exploding and stuffing, but either way, this book, Unglued, has been balm to my spirit this week. I know I often recommend books, but let me assure you that this is one you won’t regret. It’s infinitely better than the Susanna Wesley one I recommended. I’d offer to let you borrow mine, but it takes me forever to finish a book….

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Mostly I’m a good person with good motives, but not always. Not when I want life to be a little more about me or about making sure I look good. That’s when my motives become corrupted. The Bible is pretty blunt in naming the real issue here: evil desires…….Selfishness, Pride, Impatience, Anger, and Bitterness.”   –p. 102-103, chapter 7

“That’s what makes raw emotions so complicated. They come from out of nowhere and run us slap over. Which is why it’s so important to prepare in advance for what will surely happen…”  —p. 60, chapter 5

I feel like I’m learning to check my motives and get a plan in place.

I need to get back to work. Daniel just dug a giant hole, while looking for worms, in my front yard flower bed. The boys also need to be rounded back up and put back to work. That is one great thing about having all these boys. I have four built-in workers! Sure, they sometimes clean the mirrors with carpet cleaner or mop before they sweep, but they are my team, and I am proud of them.

1Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. 2Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary…    Psalm 107:1-2

I hope you all have a great weekend, full of fun, with no melt down moments whatsoever. 🙂 I hope to! Every day is new, with no mistakes in it.

The post I Will Not Panic Today, Even if Dirt Boy Dumps Dirt on the Dining Room Floor appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Oh, Daniel, you ARE Buzz Lightyear.

Today the boys and I had to walk all the way to the mini-mart, which is all of 1/2 a mile.

I put JD in the double jogger, that way I could put the milk I needed in the empty seat. How did we let ourselves run completely out of milk? Families of six cannot do such a thing!

I didn’t let anyone ride bikes, so Caleb ran most of it. One of Daniel’s biggest wishes is to beat Caleb in a race. Sometimes we try to rig races for him, by giving him a drastic head start, but it’s tough.

Daniel is a slightly short, far wiser than his years, four-year-old. This boy is an athletic, determined, do-it-myself, brownie cooking, tricycle-riding, Bible verse quoting, mouthy little POWERHOUSE. He is the mitochondria of California. I do not exaggerate.

(Excuse the science joke. It was cell week.)

But Daniel doesn’t see himself that way. He has no idea.

As he runs down that side-walk, boldly telling himself that he WILL catch up with Caleb, only to be passed by Joshua from way far behind, he just crumbles.

He whines. He cries, “Mom! He passed me.”

The pure competitiveness and ambition of it all! How I adore him, and no matter how many times (per day) that this scene must repeat itself, he tries again.

We can see the very circumstances that frustrate him gradually molding him into this strong, determined, and resilient person.

But Daniel didn’t see it that way.

He just wanted to WIN. He just wanted to SHOW ‘EM!

I just smiled, and I reassured him that he is extremely fast, ever so much faster than a normal four-year-old. And it’s not that he’s little. It’s just that he’s YOUNG, and one day he WILL beat them sometimes.

Daniel smiled, “Really?” Off he went like a rocket, only to crumble a few minutes later because “Caleb took a short-cut, and now I’ll never catch up.”

Then his shoe fell off–one house down from finally arriving safely back to our driveway. Sigh.

Life is exciting but hard.

I convinced him to climb into the double stroller because we were so close to home. The seat was still empty because the mini-mart, much to my dismay, was completely out of every single kind of milk.

I don’t know how to fully express to Daniel how incredible he is, and yet he will always measure himself against his older brothers, a ludicrous measurement, considering the current difference in their ages. That difference won’t count for much at all in fifteen years, so hang in there, Daniel!

Another great athletic achievement for Daniel. He started at the top of the slide-less slide and walked his way down ever so carefully.

This made me think of God and people.

We look all around. We strive and we fret and we whine just like Daniel. We want to know why we can’t be as fast as this guy or as successful as this other lady, but God doesn’t see it that way. We get discouraged because we can’t do things as well as we’d like to do, but God doesn’t see it that way.

He sees the big picture, just as I can see more of Daniel’s big picture than Daniel can.

Having these big brothers to compete with is TRULY making Daniel greater. He pushes himself harder than he would otherwise. He sticks up for himself fiercely. He overcomes short-comings QUICKLY so that he can keep up with those boys.

Daniel is becoming a driven, confident, self-assured man. It doesn’t matter if he never catches up with his brothers in stature. He is building an incredible character, and I get to watch it happen.

It happens to us, too. We just have to take our eyes off what we can’t do, and fix our eyes on God. With God, we can do ANYTHING. We will grow not in size (hopefully), but in character, just like Daniel. We can hone the talents that God has put in each of us into something beautiful. We can over come our short-comings to produce a more fruitful life, a life that benefits more than just ourselves.

For just a moment today, I gloried in the thought of focusing on the BIG picture, not just the trees in front of me.

We need to look at ourselves the way that we look at our children.

Still growing! We might even grow the most from the very circumstances that make us cry!

Me, at the “Ninja Warrior Playground”

For example, I have no idea how to delegate, and there are only 24 hours in each day, so I can’t have a blog that makes money anymore……

No, let’s replace that idea with this one:

This year I’ve decided to spend more time on teaching, learning to be a better teacher, healing my back, and getting out, both with and without my boys. So now is not the time to do sponsored posts or make any money at all. But I am well provided for, so that’s okay. I will work back to that another day, just not today.

“You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!”

–Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

Can you do monkey bars with one broken wrist, like Joshua? Go, Joshua, go!

I hope you all have a great weekend. I hope one day you and Daniel both get to win. We all just need to endure the training first.

The post Why it is So Important to Focus on the Big Picture Rather than Our Daily Difficulties appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.