A month ago, COVID case numbers were down, and they announced that we would gradually start sending the children back to school. The funny part is that it was only for one day a week anyway. Around half the county signed up for this, and the other half elected to just stay full time virtual.

Wow! There were so many people who were not so terribly desperate for a quiet day that they actually chose to stay full virtual. All people are different, y’all. We really are, and that is okay.

Me, I was disappointed to hear it was only for a day because I have always thought of home schooling as a nightmare, and I do not like feeling this overwhelmed.

I will take what I can get, so I signed the boys up for the their one day/week.

Our second grader went back three weeks ago, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He hates virtual school. This child was made for running wild through open fields, digging holes, and showing off all that he knows. It is hard to do any of those things while doing school on a computer. He is free-spirited and uninhibited. I admire his spirit. That was never me. I was much more uptight.

I wrote all about the hilarity that is our second grader doing virtual school here. He is actually quite adorable.

Our fourth grader began his one day of in-person school just this week. He got to go ONE day and reported that it was WAY better than virtual school. Then the announcement came that night.

The Announcement

This week our county announced a return to full virtual school. Even the children enrolled in learning centers were sent home. All hybrid hopes are over.

I am surprisingly okay.

Something has happened in the last couple of weeks in my spirit. I believe it is called acceptance. Kicking against the goads has been my default. Things are not how I want them to be. Who wants a world like this, filtered through a mask, isolated in our little huts?

But these are the cards we are dealt. These are the years, yes years apparently, we spend with our kids full time at home. Rooms are less tidy. Social calendars are emptier, and yes, sometimes it is lonely.

Keeping little boys paying attention to a computer teacher is sort of a joke.

I am so done constantly fighting against that. Actually, I will not be done for a while, but internally I very much WANT to be done. It seems like when I go off to other rooms and leave them alone with their computer screens, they actually get more done and listen BETTER than when I am in the room with them. If I am with them, they feel the need to keep me involved, ask me for snacks, and tell me stories.

Good news: It looks chaotic, but learning is actually going on just fine.

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day while I cooked lunch. Daniel had asked me to make baked potato soup that day. Normally, I do not talk on the phone during school hours because it is too distracting for all three boys who do school downstairs, but that day I did it anyway.

Daniel was beside me, peeling baked potatoes. John David was trekking in and out to show me the story he was writing. Caleb strolled by to show me his latest drawing and say hello to Nana.

I joked to my mom, “As you can see, they are all working very hard at their school work.”

Mom and I got a good laugh out of that. Were the boys all at recess? I mean I hope so, but I am not totally sure. They are usually on task, but we do still have all of these interactions like this during the day. It feels very much like a home school situation. There are home school programs you can do where the kids have teachers teach them on videos, just like this.

The boys are getting time here to explore their interests. Caleb would be drawing in class whether he is at school or at home, but Daniel would not be squeezing in extra cooking time. This is a bonus. John David probably would not have extra writing time either.

The virtual schooling has also helped me make peace with Alan remaining in the Army.

Remaining an Army family is another life circumstance that my spirit has bristled against. There is this deep longing in me to gather up our family and worldly goods and move to a nice piece of land in Alabama. I have written about that many times this year.

Several things about being in our nineteenth year of military service have bothered me. First and foremost is watching our older children be so strongly affected by changing schools over and over again. Our high schooler is now on his FOURTH school in FOUR years. That is ridiculous. We are not talking about moving every FEW years. No, this is far more drastic than that. He has changed schools four years in a row.

Stressful does not even begin to describe it, and I have guilt!

But wait. With half of the country thrown into virtual school with no options, it has ushered in the idea of another path. Our teenager says he rather likes virtual school. Tennis has kept him active and interacting with the world, and with church starting back, I am hoping that will too.

I suppose we actually could move teenagers during high school if they opt for a home/virtual school type option. That might be far less stressful for them.

Plus, my oldest son does not need my supervision the way the younger boys do. It is not a drain on me at all. Home and virtual schooling feels much easier to me with older children than it did with little ones.

But these younger two, aughhhh!!! At the moment they are literally chasing each other around the house, and I can still see a second grade math class going on in the living room.

Okay. I got both little rowdy buddies back in their virtual classes. Ugh. How I love my new role of “hall monitor.” (Not.) ….And now I am a math tutor….for common core…..

Today I have peace though. Acceptance has occurred.

This is our lot, and it is not so bad. Yes, it is busy, and I will have no energy left by three or five, depending on the day. I am okay though. No one is coming over– it is a pandemic. So the house needs to be clean, but not necessarily decluttered.

There will always be a list full of things to do, but isn’t that a good thing? That makes me feel useful and fulfilled. God has given us purpose here, a whole ton of purpose.

We are going to make the best of this.

What else can we do? This is the lot that God has given us for 2020/2021, and we will graze in this pasture and feed on this soil. We are in the palm of God’s good hands.

“I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord God. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.”

Ezekiel 34:15-16

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

Don’t forget to enter our Christmas Giveaway!!! This is a beautiful necklace and a truly unique piece that you can personalize with TWO photos engraved straight on to the inside of the locket.

The post Accepting Life As It Is While Maryland Returns to Full Virtual School appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

I’m going to do these in order of the year and my memory. Most things that happened have been forgotten, of course. But here are 10 happy memories.

#1. The snowed out promotion ceremony

All set for a stressful day at the Pentagon, when SURPRISE, snow buried D.C., and we got to have Alan’s promotion ceremony in the comfort and relaxation of our own home–in the basement, in fact.

I had worked so hard to find all the boys fancy outfits for that day, so I made them wear them anyhow. My friend, and next-door-neighbor Stacie, helped me map out a last minute catering plan, and cooked half of it herself. See, the plan was for a Pentagon restaurant to cater the event. Instead, Stacie and I pooled our resources and had more than enough delicious things to eat.

#2. The BIG announcement I was completely unprepared for

Believe it or not, this one was on the exact same day as the promotion. Or maybe it was the day after it. I’m not sure. Alan’s parents were in town, so Alan decided to take me out for a date night. I suspected nothing. Alan said we could do whatever I wanted, and I wanted to go for a walk in the snow. Alan agreed. I have no idea why I wasn’t suspicious. Most people (other than myself) hate going walking in the snow, and yet he acted like this was exactly the best idea.

We’re walking along a path on Fort Belvoir, and Alan says, “I need to tell you something. My branch manager called me last Thursday, and he told me that he couldn’t tell me anything more but that I’m less than 100 days out from a PCS move.”

No worries. Alan was clearly joking. Such a kidder he is.

But alas, this was no joke. One year after we pulled in to Virginia, we were to pull right back out and move on to the next duty station.

I tried to be cool about it, at least I hope I did, but honestly I was fairly depressed until late March when they finally told us where we were going. Being left hanging in the dark does not sit well with me.

Okay, I do realize I said these were the 10 best memories, but that moment is forever etched in my brain, it came so out of the blue that it goes on the list, whether it was a very happy moment or not. If we learned noting at all from the Disney movie Inside Out, it’s that the blue memories can be equally important as the golden yellow ones.

#3. Being in Hayfield again

This wasn’t just one moment. It was all the moments. I loved sitting with my friends everyday at the “boy mom” table, waiting for our children to get out of school. Walking the neighborhood, stopping to say hello to half a dozen people each time, having coffee with Amy, laughing at Monica’s jokes, cul-de-sac parties by Amy and Betsy’s, having the cops called on us for shooting off fireworks on a non-holiday (so much fun), bonfires at Kevin and Mary Kay’s, and Stacie always helping me with missing ingredients, dog decisions, and life in general. We were all so actively involved in one another’s lives, and that’s what makes Hayfield so fun.

#4. Watching our boys play sports and feel successful

Coach pitch league is just adorable, so watching John David play was a ball. He even turned out to be a much more skilled baseball player than I expected. Daniel made all-star for the first time. He was beyond excited about that. Our oldest continues to excel in basketball, and Caleb gave lacrosse a go. He can almost officially say he’s tried every team sport. I just enjoy watching them try these things out.

#5. The First Truly Fun Beach Trip in About 14 Years

Our youngest child is 6 now. No one needs swim diapers. Only the youngest needs a float, and only two of them constantly ask us to adjust their goggles.

At the beach, they all have better sense than to take off running in the wrong direction. Everyone pretty much stays together. No one fights the sunscreen process. Two of them are now taller and stronger than me and therefore can carry more things.

Basically, everything that used to be SO MUCH WORK for like 30 minutes of sort-of fun, is not bad now. We have turned a serious corner. Everyone got in the water this year too. We had a legitimately wonderful time.

#6. Whole Family Headbanz

While we were at the beach, we had to fill all the middle, super strong-sun hours of the day with indoor activities. Why? Well, because we are pale, and sunburn hurts and is dangerous.

There are not many games, almost zero in fact, that you can find that all 6 of us will want to play. I mean really it’s just that there aren’t many games that Alan and our oldest son will play. The rest of us love the games.

We struck gold with Headbandz. Tons of laughs. Highly recommend.

#7. That afternoon at Gunpowder Falls State Park, Jerusalem Mill Village

I’m sort of a state park addict. I love nature and hiking and walking and seeing historical landmarks. It makes me very happy, so there’s that to begin with. Our children, on the other hand, are often reluctant to go on our excursions. It’s as though touring the entire country from birth to now has worn out their need for adventure. Huh.

That day we discovered that they actually get excited to go if, and only if, we let the dog come too.

Rosie came too, and we had a truly happy day exploring an old Quaker village with a covered bridge and a lovely little waterfall and a short hike.

#8. Our first day in Sunday School here

Sometimes it takes us f-o-r-e-v-e-r to decide on a church to call our own at a new place. Don’t even get me started on this topic. But when we set foot into this Sunday school this time, we were in for a ride.

Usually, our class is full of cookie cutter military families, people exactly like us. Hey, I’m not knocking that. I think being like us is a good thing, obviously. We like who we are.

This class has a few veterans, but no active duty members. And oh my goodness– this crowd was hilarious. They poked fun at each other, they laughed, my face hurt from smiling so much, and then at the end of the class, they all go around person by person and say their current prayer need. It was all so very personal and fun. Almost relaxing, except the teacher might pick on you next, so you stay awake for sure.

We left class, and I said, “Well, that was different…”

Alan said emphatically, “Yeah. It was… it was.. different, and the people were different…”

“Yeah, and yet I enjoyed it.”

“Yeah!”

“Well, I’m glad we agree.”

So we’ve been going to this class ever since.

#9. Seeing my cousin Amber

Long years went by where I didn’t see Amber at all. Usually, when we do see each other, it’s because someone has died, and we are both there for the funeral. I got to see Amber 2 years ago when her mother was in the hospital and then again last year for her mother’s funeral.

It was a breath of fresh air to have Amber visit us this year, and no one had to die. We toured D.C. and New York City, and we had a ball. There’s an extra something special about people you shared your childhood with.

#10. Quiet Thanksgiving at home where I got to make all the food

I had not gotten to cook our Thanksgiving lunch since 2013, and odd as it may sound, it’s something I have been wanting to do. When I cook it myself, I get to make only dishes we eat as a family, the way that they were made when I was a child. That means the cranberry sauce is as it should be, from a CAN. There is dressing, not stuffing. No one has to eat green bean casserole or turkey gravy because I don’t like it, and no one else asked for it. The children don’t spend the morning protesting about leaving their house, and we can all pass out after dinner and not speak to each other for the rest of the day. It’s a beautiful thing, and it made me soooooo happy.

That’s all, folks. What are your best memories from 2019?

The post My 10 Favorite Memories from 2019 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

***Ad disclosure: This post contains links to Crystal Paine e-courses. I do earn a profit when you sign up for these courses.***

I can be a serious stress ball. If there’s a problem, it’s a “crisis.” When things go wrong, I feel like it’s all my fault. Self-chastisement is my specialty.

Getting the kids off to school in the morning is my #1 flip-out trigger. If you don’t believe that I am capable of total lunacy, you have clearly not seen me on a morning when someone’s shoes are missing, someone wouldn’t get out of bed on time, someone doesn’t have a clean Batman shirt, and another someone is taking 45 minutes to eat their ever-loving cereal!!!

Just ask Alan, Jennings, my parents, Alan’s parents, or any of my old roommates. They’ve all seen it.

Can I change the core of who I am? Eh…..

Can you re-program yourself to have a calmer head in tense situations? Hmmmmm

So many times I’ve said:

“I promise I will do better.”

“I will try really hard to not flip out again.”

But once the chaos tornado of life starts to swoop me up into a stress ball, I go right back to my old patterns.

Are you with me? Do any of you struggle with this, or even with something else, that no matter how hard you try to “do better”, you don’t?

What does the Bible say about this?

The Bible says that God is the one who can help us with our sin problems, things like anger, self-control, impurity, slander, jealousy, and the list goes on and on and on.

How? How can He help us???

James, the brother of Jesus, said it really well in the book of James, chapter 4, 6 through 8:

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

That inner voice of self-condemnation that follows you around saying,

“Look what a failure you are because you did not lay out your kids’ clothes last night.”

“You are awful for not being more on top of this. Get your act together.”

and

“You are such a mess. Why didn’t you teach your kids better? Why are you so disorganized?”

That is not from God!! That is from the enemy of God. We all have both good and bad warring within us. I think Paul put it best when he said:

18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. 20And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.…   Romans 7:18-20

So how do we increase our good and decrease our inner stress ball???

By combatting our lack of faith by drawing near to God. Flipping out is really just a sign that we are lacking faith in that moment.

Seek him in the morning, during the day, and again at night.

How do we seek him?

The first step is to open the Bible, and read about Him. Pray about what you read. Ask for understanding.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

Once you have sought him enough that he is even in the front of your mind in the heat of the stress-ball moments, you can PRAY through your frustration for help with this, in the middle of your unraveling.

We’re not just talking about praying for your aunt’s injured toe. Pray about your problem!! Pray for calm when things are hard. Seek his help in combatting your explosive reactions to stress specifically.

I have seen it work. God is faithful. He will help you.

And when you forget–because you will sometimes forget, pick yourself up. Seek him. Try again.

We don’t have to solve these problems on our own. Our God is more than big enough to help us. Give him a chance to help you.

Do you have a stress-ball strategy that helps you that you’d like to share with us? We’d love to read those in the comment section below. Thank you so much for sharing!

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The post How To Overcome Your Stress Ball Ways appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Was I always a little flaky? I don’t know. For years, I could get away with being very loosy-goosy with my planning because I was a stay-at-home mom of preschoolers. We moved all the time too, so by the time people developed expectations of me, we were off and away to the next town.

Over the years, I have slipped into a routine of planning as little as I can get away with planning. I’ll procrastinate decisions until they are made for me. Yep. Guilty of that. Sometimes I get this fear of commitment. If I sign up for things, I’m going to have to figure out how to actually accomplish those things with toddlers in tow.

And I never knew when my husband would be here or not be here, so making plans felt like shooting darts– real darts–in a room full of people, blindfolded.

No thanks.

So friends, that is how I became the version of April you have today.

April, are you going to the yada yada yada meeting?

**Total deer in the headlights**

Ummmm. Uhhhhhh.  Umm, yeah, you know, I might…

(Inside my head I’m thinking……IF all 4 kids are well, IF Alan is in town, IF I have energy left that day…..IF I am not supposed to actually be at Dan’s tee-ball game or some Army function that I can’t remember the exact dates for…..If, If, If…..)

I love to rock me some babies. Go away, world, until I finish this.

Actually, for the past 11 years those were all perfectly good reasons to be flaky, indecisive, unprepared, uncommitted, and unsure. Did I shut the world out a little bit? Yes, yes, I definitely did.

In fact, I had to google the word “twerking” not too long ago. I’m so out of touch with pop culture, and I kept hearing that word. All I can say to that one is ew, girl! Ew. Somebody get that poor girl a sweater and some capri pants.

But things keep popping up on our calendars, and I’ve re-entered the world of work with my blog. I actually HAVE to FORCE myself to plan and be less free-spirited, more grown-up like.

You people who have a plan amaze me, and I mean that in a good way. You totally have my respect.

You know when you are going on vacation. You’ve actually committed to specific dates, and you probably even know how you are gong to pay for that.

You have a budget.

You know when people’s birthdays are, and you plan for that accordingly.

You keep some sort of planner or calendar.

 
About that….Y’all! I have purchased TWO different “planners” this year. They are both mostly blank. I have a calendar hanging in my kitchen too, which makes 3 planners, really. All I’ve written on that one is what the kids are doing for lunch and when their dentist appointments are.

I even downloaded an editorial calendar plug-in to try and start planning my blog posts. (It’s actually extremely helpful, fellow bloggers, check it out. It’s called “editorial calendar.”)

Only I’m so anti-structured in my thinking, I can rarely bring myself to write about what I’m ‘scheduled’ to write about.

I also have 2 different e-books I’ve written half of, and now they are just sitting on my hard-drive taking up space. My hard drive is so full, my computer has actually stopped letting me download or upload new things.

And suddenly I find myself wanting to change.

See, I bought all those planners. That’s the first step. I WANT to do the right thing and be all responsible again. I always was one-half responsible and one-half not at all, even back in high school and college. I used to make myself plans and stick to them, sort of. Well, I used to make plans. Maybe I never did really stick to them. I almost always turn in everything on time, actually, but I live in fear of signing up for extra things.

So I decided to pray about this today.

And this was my answer:  If you can plan out each day by making a list and crossing things off, then you can apply that same strategy to weeks. Then apply it to months. Then do that for years. Do it at the start of each week, each month, and each year, just like you are doing now for days.

Huh. Brilliant. Maybe even doable?

My planning tends to never go past the day that I’m on. This is the typical extent of my planning.

What I do now for each day is this. After I have safely delivered all of my children to school, I come home and have a little time for Bible study and prayer. You have to pour inspiration in to yourself if you expect to pour any out, right?

I close with prayer, and I ask God to help me make my to-do list for that day. I write the list out on the wipe-off board in the kitchen. Then I mentally prioritize the things that HAVE to get done.

That’s why I usually cook supper in the morning, by 12:00, because I know everyone HAS to eat, and I don’t want that task hanging over my head. Also, I have no energy left at 5:00pm.

I see no reason why this method for planning each day could not be applied to my weeks, months, and years, with one of the 3 planners I’ve purchased laying open on my lap.

And don’t even say that I should use my phone as my planner. I can’t do it. This falls under scatter-brained people problems. The minute I open my phone to use the calendar or some other useful, productive app, I immediately forget what I was doing and end up reading Instagram or my email or something.

So watch out, world! I now have a plan for how to plan!!!! Who knows? Maybe next week I will make a budget, a meal plan, or catch up on my 2,809 emails…….nahhhhh…

Please share your best planning tips in the comment section! We would love to hear more ideas! Thanks, y’all!

The post My Brilliant Plan for How to Plan appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Surprise Welcome Home Party at Kristy’s house. There were 23 neighbors in attendance.

On Friday night, I snuck into my home town.

My parents were expecting me at 8:45pm, but truthfully I arrived at 7:30 or so, but I didn’t want them to know that. They were still staying at the rental house, but I did not go straight to the rental house. I went by my childhood friend, Kristy’s, house. We were on a mission, you see.

I grew up playing with Kristy and the other neighborhood kids. Kristy’s grandparents lived next door to us, and she spent a lot of time over there. As kids, we climbed trees, rode bikes, swung, swam in her granny’s pool, and played a good deal of make-believe and front yard baseball.

Then six or seven years ago, grown-up Kristy bought the house across the street from my parents! Pretty cool, huh? That tiny street is full of people who have been living there for most of my life.

They’ve been watching the destruction and re-building of my parents’ house up close and personal. They dealt with the smells, oh, you don’t want to know about the smells, the rubble looters on the day of the bulldozer, the construction crews, and the watching and waiting. They never complained.

Kristy said, “I’m telling you, they could’ve built it faster.”

Mrs. Sara (Kristy’s granny) lamented, “Well, the only problem is they built it closer to the road than it used to be, and the way it’s shaped I can’t see Terry on his front porch, and I can’t see Terry on his back porch. How am I supposed to know he’s okay???? How am I supposed to know it if he falls?”

She’s right, that’s a problem when you have good neighbors. Kirsty reassured her it’d be okay because she can still see him from her front porch.

Neighbors that look out for each other. Such a beautiful thing!

A month or so ago, Kristy hatched a plan for a surprise party. We had no idea what day they’d finally move in, so she planned it for December 10th, and lo and behold, what day do you think they finally moved in? Well, December 10th, of course, so it was pretty easy to get my parents over to the right place at the right time.

Chris, Kristy, and me

We decided the best story to tell to make sure my parents were at the new house unloading at party time was to say that pizza was arriving at the new house at 11am. This was pretty easy. I just used Alan’s obsession with pizza coupons as my cover story.

“You know how Alan is about his pizza coupons. Well, he’s already got the pizza scheduled to be delivered at 11am tomorrow at the new house. It’s a little early, but he wanted to make sure he had plenty of food, and that way when my brother gets off of work, they will be able to get straight to work with the heavy moving then.”

No one doubted that story for a second.

By 11am, every one of us was in place at my parents’ new house, but there was one part I hadn’t thought through. Now how do I get them over to Kristy’s house? Everyone was focused on the mission of moving… Hmmmm

“Hey, um, y’all, I talked to Kristy out in the yard, and she said when Dad gets here to have y’all stop by her house real quick. I think she has a Christmas gift for ya.”

And to my surprise, it was that simple!

They just said, “Oh. Okay,” and started off across the street.

“I think I’ll come too,” I said, motioning the boys to come on. John David was of course shoeless. Alan got his little shoes on JD as quickly as possible, and we all six followed Mom and Dad across the street.

Mom said she did think it was weird that we were ALL coming.

Kirsty opened the doors and motioned for us to all come in. I’m not sure how long it took Mom and Dad to figure out this was their surprise party or that we weren’t actually having pizza. Pretty funny! This was so fun to be a part of.

We all ate together. Mr. Byrd, a neighbor I remember as the one who would buy whatever I was selling from my school fund-raiser every year, said a beautiful blessing before the meal.

We laughed over the surprise, and caught up with everybody.

Then we walked everyone over and gave them a tour of the new house, for those who hadn’t seen inside of it yet.

I know. I know you’re dying to get a peek inside too, and I would show it to you, but Mom’s not as big on posting the minute details of her life on the internet as I am, so I’m going to literally just show you one peek. I’m going to give you Kristy’s porch view of the new place:

Mr. Byrd, Dad, and Chris and Kristy’s porch view of the new house.

It’s not a re-built house. It’s a completely new house. The old one had to be bulldozed and carried away, down to the last scrap of concrete. Nothing could be left. What wasn’t burned was all damaged by smoke, water, and asbestos.

Everything is gone. The trampoline burned too. When they were clearing the house away, there was a huge storm that came through, and lightning stuck the last of the tall pine trees that still stood from my childhood. And as they took away the dumpster last week, they killed the mailbox too.

It was as though God decided that he couldn’t just partially fix it. It had to be completely made new.

We may not understand the ways of God, but his ways are best, and I know that this house is going to be a great blessing to my parents.

Isn’t it funny how God even arranged it for Alan and me to move back down here for two years, so that we were here for all of this? I got to see construction of the new house in all of its phases. I got to pore over paint and tile samples with Mom on my coffee table.

And I got to be there for move-in day, even when we didn’t know until 3 days prior that it would be moving day!

God moves in mysterious ways.

I wish you could see what all Kristy has done with her house too! She bought it after the housing market crashed, and completely re-modeled the place, knocking down walls, moving the kitchen, painting, and putting in new floors. It’s inspirational to look at what she’s accomplished without even hiring a builder, a little at a time!

It makes me smile to see Alan getting to talk to these sweet neighbors, these pillars from my childhood. When I see Mrs. Sara I always smile and think of how she used to call out to us from her front door, “Y’all play purdy now!!” Maybe I should start calling that out my door to the boys and their friends.

Our neighbors didn’t just feed us and visit with us, even though that would have been more than enough. They also SHOWERED my parents with gifts, AGAIN. I say again because they’d already helped after the fire, but they just kept on giving!

opening gifts

Kristy, our lovely coordinator and hostess

They were given a big, beautiful set of Rachel Ray cookware, which I could tell Mom was excited about, as well as all sorts of other useful blessings!

Mom and I have always admired what Kristy can do with her vinyl cricket (cricuit?) machine!

An Emotional Gift

The most emotional gift was this large framed floorboard from the original house, which Kristy wrote their name and anniversary date on. I cried when I saw it, even though I knew she was planning it. Mom cried. I don’t know if Dad cried.

The day of the bulldozing, Kristy had looked for some wood from the house, but there was none available that wasn’t too damaged, so she found a whole plank from the Pergo floors. This made it even more special because Mom and Dad had put those floors down themselves around 10 years ago, and we’d all just loved those floors.

Kirsty laughed about almost getting caught salvaging that board from the rubble. She said she left the kids with Gail and ran over to dig around for something she could save for Mom and Dad. She had just discovered a good board, and all of a sudden there was my dad! He was there to try to save some china, and she quickly dropped the board off to the side, and said, “Oh, here, let me help you with that!” She said she felt like she was almost busted. So funny, because Dad would have had no idea what she was doing anyway.

We laughed, we ate, we cried, and then we hugged people and got back to work!

This was such a blessing, what the neighbors did for my parents, and I just wanted to share it, the fact that things like this still happen. There are people who are still kind, giving, unselfish, who want to help other people, and we make each others’ lives better in the process.

Thank you so much for all the hard work you put into this, Kristy, and to all the neighbors for blessing us in such a big way. We are so thankful! Our cup runneth over.

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”  –Hebrews 13:16

May we all strive to be this kind of neighbor. Merry Christmas, y’all!

The post Moving Day, the Surprise Party, and the Power of Good Neighbors appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Alan and me the night he left for Iraq, 2003

This week is Veteran’s Day, and as the wife of a veteran it’s a holiday full of meaning for me.

In honor of Veteran’s Day, I thought I’d share this letter that I wrote to Alan on New Year’s Eve, 2003. Alan was in Iraq, and I was living in Texas. What started out as this nightmarish, depressing event (sending my husband to war–I was all of 22 years old) had gradually turned into a year of growth and new friendships.

Did you know that we military wives have our own “battle buddies”?

We do, and they were a life-saver that year. That was the year I learned that I do not enjoy teaching. I experienced the first major failure of my life when I quit that job before the year was over because it was so hard and miserable I couldn’t handle it.

I found many things I didn’t want to be. I thought I would never figure out what I DO want to be, so I headed back to graduate school, but the answers weren’t there either.

But I was never fully defeated because the Lord sustained me.

He sustained me with mentors and friendships and love, and when 2003 closed, I was still full of hope. This is what I wrote to Alan:

**************************

9 months down!!!!!                             I love you!!!!!!!!

Wed.,  Dec. 31, 2003

Day 275

Wow! This is the final day of 2003. But like I read in one of your letters, it was indeed a rotten year. Good riddance, 2003! Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. One thing’s for sure. It’s a year we won’t soon forget.

 But I’m so glad it’s over. For me, 2004 brings so much hope! Much like 2002! I remember New Year’s 2002 so well, and so fondly. I KNEW big things were in store for me that year. I knew you were becoming an important part of my life. And I had a feeling my life would be forever changed. I had a feeling you were “the one.” I remember sitting on my porch, holding my little Sylvester and crying. They weren’t tears of sadness or even tears of extreme joy. I guess it was just a moment in which I was preparing myself for the future. And I was letting go of the little girl inside of me, the innocent girl about to be rescued by her prince, about to grow up.

 I didn’t know I would be getting married that year, or moving far away, or even that I’d be graduating.

I knew nothing of what was in store. Yet I can CLEARLY remember that the Lord was preparing my heart.

He was preparing my heart for you. And all the wonderful things you brought into my life. No one changed my life more than you. But it was a wonderful change.

 On the flip side, 2003 was not so wonderful. It was equally eventful. Only the events of 2003 often brought grief and hard lessons to be learned. I know we have grown this year though. We do grow from trials.

 But 2004 means something much different to me than either 2002 or 2003. To me, it is a year of hope, love, and laughter. That’s because when I think about 2004, all I see is you coming home to me, and spending a year together with you. Wow! How amazing it will be! Me and you together at last!

 So from January to March. Those 3 months are the joy of anticipation. And then You. You here in my life again. I can’t wait!

 I don’t have a New Year’s resolution. But I have a New Year’s hope. It’s like the final hump in this long deployment. The halfway mark was hump 1. And the end of 2003 was hump 2 to me. 3/4 of this journey is over!

 Yes!

************

3 months later, I hung this sign at our very first home together. I lived by the airfield, so I got to see Alan’s ginormous cargo plane fly right over my house as it landed. I’ll never forget the elation of that day.

It was a 4 page letter, and that was the first 3 pages, and I actually did write “Yes!” that BIG at the bottom of page 3. I meant it that large. In fact, it’s actually a little bit larger. I wonder whatever happened to the fourth page.

Happy Veteran’s Day, y’all!! I’m so thankful for my veteran.

The post A Letter of Hope from 2003 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

So today, why don’t we take time to remember? Do we remember?

There was this movie called The War Room, which starred Priscilla Shirer, and Beth Moore even had a small role in it. In the movie, an elderly woman served as Priscilla Shirer’s mentor. She had something hanging on her wall that I’d never seen before: a list of answered prayers.

It was a powerful film. I hope you get a chance to watch the whole thing later, but for now, here’s a dramatic clip:

This movie was GOOD, but because it was Christian you didn’t hear about it much. Go digging for it on the internet. It’s well worth your time. I mean I saw it a YEAR ago, and I’m still remembering things I learned in this movie!

Amazon sells it for $10, or if you have Starz, you can watch it for free:

The other big thing that stuck with me was having a closet to go pray in.

Here at my new house I finally have both a list and a closet to pray in, and I am loving that.

I even made a pretty list to write my lists of answered prayers on. In only 30 minutes, I filled up four of these sheets, so if you want to use this, you may want to print 5, not just one. Yep. I turned it into a free printable, so I can share it with you.
Each list is the size of a sheet of copy paper. Click here to print it. : answeredprayerWord

I have a black and white printer, so mine didn’t have the pretty colors after all. Sad! But yours can so long as you have a color printer.

I feel like I’m living the longest answered prayer ever this year.

My list was long, and I won’t bore you with my list, but I do want to share this one with you.

I want to tell you about my support system this year. The hardest months were November 2015-April 2016. It felt like my physical body was crumbling. There were days I limped around with hip pain, and no one could tell me why. I would toss and turn, and I could not sleep because of that obnoxious hip, but no one could fix it. But the worst part was the fevers, because they would zap my energy and leave me feeling useless. Oh! And then the heart problem started. Then when they told me it was v-tach, and I read about v-tach, I thought, “Oh, great. I’m dying? I could just die any night in my sleep?”

Since my doctors couldn’t figure out my hip problem, they labeled me as having “many somatic complaints,” and they sent me to a counselor. Nice. So basically, if you have a sickness that docs don’t know how to fix they decide you need counseling. And there are lots of problems doctors cannot fix.

Many women would fall back on family during times like these, but when you live on the other side of the country from your family, you’d better hope you’ve made some friends.

It felt like a recipe for depression, my friends.

But that wasn’t how it turned out.

Sometimes God sends people who are the answers to our prayers. That’s what happened for me. I want to tell you about three people who were answers to my prayers.

Analise, my substitute

Analise

I hired Analise to watch the boys each Friday while I went to my weekly doctor visits and tests at the cardiologist, the rheumatologist, the counselor, the physical therapist, and the chiropractor.

Ladies, don’t ever feel like you are “just a nanny.” Analise was 1000 times more than just a nanny. That is a noble calling. I could not have made it through this year without her, and she was a source of happiness for my boys who were having to cope with having a mom that was “always sick.” She was fun and energetic, but she was also mature enough to handle two boys who were supposed to be doing their schoolwork, along with two pre-schoolers.

Analise was a gift from God. She was the answer to my literal cry for help.

My unofficial support group of friends: Every single one is a blessing. Laura is the one on the far right.

Laura

Laura was Daniel’s best friend’s mother. She had Daniel at her house about as much as I had him at mine, and I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t. I would also come home to little gifts from her all the time: bath fizzies, Bama cupcakes, and her signature sidewalk art.

Laura offered that touch that reminded me that I was still a person of value, even when I was sick and confused.

The incredible women in my home school support group. Paola is the second from the end on the right, on the sofa. Man, I miss these ladies!!

Paola

What you might not know about me is that I have this need to follow the rules and …..win. I like winning. That’s right. I too want to win and win biggly. (Hehe!) I crave success. So when I started failing, it was quite the avalanche of pride. Oh, what a humbling year it was.

I could not keep up as Joshua’s grammar/writing teacher. He had his computer program for math, but grammar was on me. But our grammar/writing tutoring sessions were every Monday afternoon. No matter how hard I tried, doctor appointments kept falling on Monday afternoon. And fevers. And just my general mess!

Fail. Fail. Fail. I felt like I was constantly failing. Joshua actually had to direct himself for most of his school work for most of that school year. I felt like I was setting him up for failure.

When we would make it on Monday afternoons, we’d be behind on assignments, because of me. Plus, JD’s entire day would be thrown off from the lack of nap at daycare, and Joshua would be in misery because he wasn’t getting much out of that class as unprepared as he was.

I didn’t have it in me to stay for Monday afternoons any longer. It took so much of my energy reserves to finish a Monday that I finally realized I could not keep it up.

We could handle the three-hour Monday morning tutoring sessions, but packing a lunch for all of us and staying for the afternoon became too much.

So it was with great humility that I wrote Paola (the Essentials tutor, Joshua’s teacher for the 2 hour afternoon session) a long note explaining why we had to drop Essentials with only five or so weeks left in the program.

And what I got from Paola was something I won’t forget. I’d back that woman up for any battle she may ever need help with. Paola gave me grace. 

She agreed that our course of action was best for us. She sympathized with all we were going through. She allowed Joshua to continue turning in his grammar charts to her, but she didn’t pressure us for anything at all. In fact, when the year was over, she congratulated me on persevering to the finish.

Have you ever known someone who gave you the exact encouragement that you needed and more? I felt like such a flake that whole semester because of all the “no’s” I was having to say. But Paola and the other CC moms accepted us right where we were in life.

It wasn’t just Paola that gave me support last school year. All of my fellow Classical Conversations moms were understanding and helpful. If only I could have brought my California friends with me to the South!

Sometimes God uses people to answer our prayers, and truly even to teach us what grace feels like.

Grace, hope, and love. I hope that he will use me to bless others as greatly as my friends and family have blessed me.

What a year of answered prayers. I can’t wait to see what God does next. I want you to all know that I am doing much better now. Thank you so much for loving us through the hard times.

Be sure to get the printable and share what God has done in your life.

The post A Place to Write Out Answered Prayers appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.