I am certainly no expert in this field. I don’t know about you, but I have three teenagers and need all the help I can get. Whether your teenager identifies as “anxious” or not, chances are they will have times where they absolutely are anxious. I think it’s unavoidable.

Our mental health expert is here to provide us with tips on how we can help our teenagers.

The teenage years can be some of the best and the most testing times of your life.

This is the time of gaining independence and self-discovery. It is the time to explore platonic relationships and consider what you want to be, and who you want to be with. Teenagers are often looking for a place at school, in their homes, and the world as a whole.

This is also the most confusing time for a teen to learn more about their bodies, life, and the world. Parents often find it hard to communicate with teens about anything, and when teens start hiding their anxiety, it could become even more difficult to tackle the situation. 

It is not possible to force teens to tell us what is wrong even when we can see them struggle.

You might hear them complain about physical ailments, or some refuse to go to school and even have emotional meltdowns due to little stress. There could be many reasons behind them not admitting what they are going through inside.

Even your anxiety and fears could become a barrier to communication.

This is why you must ensure that you are not too angry or emotional as your teen will not talk to you and this could alienate them. 

It is also possible that you are at a loss for words after you discuss or demand them to tell you what is wrong. You must remember that your little one is growing up and they are no longer a child. There will be times when you won’t know what to say to them, but you need to have a balance of support, comfort, and even action that can help communicate with your teenager. 

Anxious teens are different from anxious kids

Parents need to remember that an anxious teen is very different from an anxious child. As kids, children tend to worry about monsters, or the dark or dinosaurs. But as they grow up, they start worrying about themselves. They might be worried that they do not look cool enough, or they are not doing well in school, or they could be worried about what people think of them.

As they grow, they also start to worry about their bodies, and many teens struggle for years. If their anxiety is not addressed on time, it could get worse. Panic attacks and social anxiety are two things that usually start in the teenage years, and you will see kids who were never anxious suddenly become very self-conscious and anxious as teens. 

There are no specific symptoms you can identify since they vary from one to another. It can also become hard to notice anxiety since teenagers are good at hiding their feelings, and many like to avoid things. But pushing it under the carpet will not help. Anxiety doesn’t go away like that, and some also start a habit of alcohol or marijuana to feel less anxious, but they become highly dependent on it.

If you avoid it for too long, it can lead to depression too. Treating teen mental health issues is possible and as a parent, if you are worried about your anxious teenager, here are three different ways you can try talking to them so that they listen.

Here’s how you can help.

Empathize

Your child is no longer five, and as a teen, they want to be independent, validated, and understood. They are navigating different aspects of life, and it isn’t easy for them. Whenever your teen tells you something illogical or seems strange, do not lash out at them.

Take a deep breath and try putting yourself in their shoes. Show them that you get it. Show them that you heard what they said, and you are there to discuss more. Do not give advice straightaway but use encouraging words and ask them why they are feeling a certain way. Talking with your teen on this topic will need patience. You must never judge them or make them feel that their emotions do not matter. 

Relate

The best way to connect with your teen is to relate your experiences. They will feel more understood if you can talk about the similar experiences you went through. Talk about your insecurity, your challenges, and what you went through in high school. Make them understand that their feelings are normal, and every teenager has some form of insecurity.

Teens often look at us as people who will never understand their situation, but you must prove them wrong. You need to humanize yourself and keep the doors of communication open. If you don’t, they will shut off completely and look for different ways to cope with the situation.

Ask

If you know your teenager is anxious, you must make it a point to check in on them regularly. Look out for symptoms and always keep the conversations open. Whenever you hear something alarming, be calm. If you react emotionally, it could scare your teen, and they might stop sharing things with you. Whenever they talk to you, have an open conversation, and comfort them. Reassure them that you will figure it out together, and if you feel that their anxiety is unmanageable, you might want to seek professional help. 

Seek help

Normalize taking help for anxiety and ensure that there is no shame attached to it. Look for a therapist who can handle anxiety in teenagers and talk to your teen about how therapy works. Ensure that they are comfortable with the step you are taking, and do not force them until they are ready.

Assure them that it will work for their good and visiting a therapist does not mean that they are crazy. The right therapist will help them get to the root of the cause and could also improve the communication gap. 

Tackling anxiety in teens is easier said than done, but as a parent, you must give them complete support and always allow open communication. 

The post Tips for Talking to an Anxious Teenager appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

He is here to share with us what it takes to become a fire rescue officer. As I and many of my readers have older teenagers and young adults, I thought this is a relevant and interesting career path to learn about!

Building a Career as a Fire Rescue Officer

Being a firefighter is a noble profession, but it is not easy and neither is the process of becoming one. You will face immense competition, and the entire hiring process can be very challenging.

This is not something a lot of people succeed at, and over 70% of the applicants give up their dream of becoming a firefighter and opt for another profession which is easy to clear.

There are many reasons for it. One could be the lack of preparation. Many do not know what they are getting into when they start the process and do not prepare themselves appropriately. If you dream of becoming a firefighter, here are the things you must do to increase your chances of getting hired. 

1. Get an EMT certification

The majority of the departments require an EMT certification to apply, and almost 90% of them will need the certification once they hire. The fire department sees 70% or more of emergency events and it needs immediate medical-related responses which is why it makes sense to clear this prerequisite.

It also means that they will have to provide less training in the recruitment academy. Before you apply, you must pass the EMT training and gather experience as one. It will be very beneficial for you in the long term. If you are certain that you want to choose the path of a fire rescue officer, you must get an EMT certification and work as a paramedic. It will increase your opportunities in the industry. 

2. Volunteer

Whether it is a fire-related experience or a non-fire-related experience, volunteering will benefit you significantly. Some departments are looking for people who have the ability and desire to provide community services and doing volunteer service is a great way to build your resume and get references.

You will find several opportunities out there. All you need to do is find something that interests you. Burn camps can be a good place to volunteer and begin networking. Other opportunities include the American Red Cross or homeless shelters. 

3. Enroll in the fire technology class

While this is not a requirement for a job, it will look good on the resume and will help you prepare for a career in the fire industry. It shows that you are committed and dedicated to the career you have chosen. Take a semester-long class in building construction and fire behavior to make the most of this profession. You will get adequate training on the subject, and will help in case of injuries or line-of-duty deaths. 

4. Always have a clean background

No matter the profession you choose, having a clean background goes a long way. The best way to predict the future is your behavior. If you have a track record of problems like traffic tickets, accidents, violence, or arrests, it will become difficult for you to stand out in the crowd and beat the competition. While you cannot change your past, you can certainly make changes in the present which will benefit you for years to come. 

5. Be aware of the phases of the hiring process

If you are aware of the different phases of hiring, you will be able to approach it in the best manner. On the other hand, if you do not know how hiring works, how will you ever succeed? Different regions and different departments will have a unique selection process, but there will be some similarities you need to find. When you are familiar with the process as a whole and the steps that go into it, you will be able to prepare well. Do some research on the different departments in the area, where you will be tested, what are the different stages, and how you will be marked. 

6. Take firefighter tests 

The best way to understand the hiring process is by taking firefighter tests. With each test, you will be prepared for the next one. Do not worry even if you fail a part of the test, you should be concerned about the exposure you are getting, and you will get a better idea of what to expect in the future.

It is okay to fail at some point in the examination, and some of the best firefighters may have failed, but you still get to learn. Accept your mistakes and learn from them so that you do not repeat them. Once you begin taking tests, you will know more about your strengths and weaknesses. Keep yourself updated about the opportunities in the country since most departments will test infrequently. Some test every six months while some do every two years. Some also take one test in 10 years. This is the only way to get hired, and as long as you keep taking tests, you will continue to gain experience and be prepared for a life as a fire rescue officer. 

7. Visit the local fire stations 

You must take out time and head to the local fire stations. Try to visit the ones that are a part of the fire department you want to apply for. Speak to the firefighters there and learn more about the department, and the programs they may have. Talk to them about their journey, about their experiences, and the life they live now. If you see firefighter trophies there and are motivated to get one, speak to the right people and get as many insights from them as possible. Besides being a great resource, they are also the best people to start networking with. They have gone through the entire process and know what it takes. 

8. Prepare for a background investigation 

Many candidates are so well prepared for the different testing phases, but fail the background. This can be because they lied or had something in the report that got them disqualified. A background investigation is about 25 pages in length. It will ask for details about information from every employer and school you went to. Plus, they want details about the licenses, certificates, family members, credit history, accounts at different banks, and so much more. You will need to provide all the information once you make it through the process. Do not be the candidate that is out in the background check. 

Lastly, remember that it is not easy to build a career as a fire rescue officer. You will need to educate yourself about the opportunities. Be proactive in your quest for information and knowledge. Get hands-on experience to make the most of your education, and look at any opportunity to volunteer. Do not try and rush things because nothing will happen overnight. Hard work, patience, and perseverance will pay off. 

The post How to Build a Career as a Fire Rescue Officer appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

I was eager to hear from our experts on this issue since I know most of my readers are in a similar phase of life as I am. Our kids are getting older, and we are in new, uncharted territory. Guiding and leading and taking good care of our older kids is a whole new experience, and I feel like we have so much to learn! So without further ado, here are a few things to look for.

Red Flags In Your Teen’s Behavior You Have To Be Aware Of

The teenage years can be a challenge as it is a time of transition in a household. A teen wants more independence which also requires more responsibility. Teenagers have to act like an adult in many situations. The drawback is that teens are rarely treated like adults or given a fraction of the freedom adults have. The power struggle in a home can be quite contentious, as raging hormones can lead to outbursts.

The teenage years are a very confusing time for a variety of reasons. Growing up in the digital age is a very different experience from what a number of current parents have. Exposure to so many different inappropriate pieces of content is possible without proper supervision. Below will outline various red flags to watch out for in terms of your teen’s behavior.

Be Aware Of Common Signs Of Substance Abuse

Substance abuse can rear its ugly head during teenage years as a result of experimentation. Alcohol can be relatively easy to detect as it has a smell. Plus, bottles can be found. Asking for cash daily can be a sign of substance abuse as well, so monitor the spending that is going on. The friends that your teen hangs out with are going to play a direct role in their substance abuse. Certain friends will let parents know if they are concerned, while others also have substance use disorders.

Getting help for a teen that has a substance abuse problem needs to be done as early as possible. Adolescent substance abuse worsens much like other addictions unless a person gets help. You do not want an arrest to impact the opportunities your teen has going forward. 12-step groups are available online, as are virtual substance abuse counselors. You want to catch this early before the addiction gets too severe and nearly impossible to overcome.

Substance abuse does not stop at narcotics, as performance-enhancing drugs are a growing issue. The ability to make money in high school and college sports can be a huge temptation. Top athletes can be enticed by huge offers or those looking to have them gain an edge illegally. Keep this in mind if you notice sudden gains in athletic performance without increased work being done.

Grades Have Suddenly Dropped Out Of Nowhere

Grades that are dropping suddenly without explanation can be a sign something could be wrong. Bullying is common at schools, and with technology, bullies use social media to torment teens at home. Teens might not have this issue, but addressing grades dropping is important. You do not want to regret not addressing the grades when a teen is struggling mentally. Confronting a teen about their grades can allow them to open up about what is happening.

A bad relationship or even a huge disagreement with a teacher could be an issue. Teachers seem to be projecting opinions on students and do not react well when a student does not agree. Unfortunately, this happens at all schools at all levels, as educators are human and have opinions on various subjects.

Very Secretive About Certain Relationships

Abusive relationships do not only happen among romantic partners but also around friends. Teens struggle with wanting to be liked while setting boundaries with those in their lives. Emotional abuse can happen through gaslighting or minimizing issues that are brought up. You should want to meet your teen’s friends or at least know details about them. Falling into the wrong crowd is a recipe for contentious teenage years.

With this being said, all teens have a bit of a rebellious nature as is natural as their hormones change. Take solace in your teen standing up for themselves, as it can be tough at that age.

The difference between being secretive and wanting privacy is a parent’s job to figure out. Teens are inherently embarrassed by their parents, so bringing new friends around might be an event causing stress. Take time to get to know your teen’s friends in some capacity. You will, of course, have those favorite friends and those that you are not so fond of.

Teenage romantic relationships are a nightmare that you can offer advice on when asked. Offering this advice unsolicited can seem like you are trying to interfere in the relationship from your teen’s perspective. Limiting contact at some points can be done via extracurriculars which can look great on a college application. You do not want to forbid your teen to see someone, as the forbidden romance angle can actually encourage a relationship to fizzle out.

Loss Of Interests In Their Passions

Losing interest in previous passions can happen without any problems. Kids grow out of phases, but there are those that they love for a lifetime. Seeing a hobby fade into the past overnight can be a sign something related to the hobby is not going well. Quitting sports could be due to a lack of performance or time actually playing. Teens want to spend time with friends rather than practicing for hours without seeing any playing time for months of their year.

Keep Lines Of Communication Open

A teen might not want to talk about certain aspects of their lives. Forcing them to share these can lead to them lying and parents having no idea what is actually occurring in their teen’s life. Try to keep your initial reactions internal. Your teen might close lines of communication if they feel judged.

Understanding what is important to your teen can allow you to be excited for them when something happens in this area of their life. A teen could be passionate about sports or theater, and understanding what they want to accomplish is imperative. Investing time in learning about their passions can be a great way to bond. Red flags in a teen’s behavior can indicate there is an area of their life going wrong. Keep an eye on your teen without being too invasive. Teens with overbearing parents become experts at masking their feelings or keeping their behavior a complete secret.

For more articles on parenting preteens & teenagers:

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