This year we moved AGAIN. Did I mention that already? Maybe I’ve brought it up too much. Sorry about that., but moving is everything. Where you live and who you’re surrounded by, that’s your life setting.

I was at the eye doctor this week because I’d run completely out of contacts and haven’t been to the eye doctor since 3 states ago. The eye doc asked me many of the usual questions, including this one:

Of all those places you’ve lived, what did you think? Which one did you like best?

It’s funny how when people ask me this, all of a sudden I AM the old Rose in Titanic, at the end of the movie, looking back like “It’s been 80 years.”

I cannot fairly choose one of our duty stations and say, “This one was the best,” because so much of my memories of each place are colored by what was going on in my life at the time.

My best life experience was always Virginia. Always. I had this wonderful support network of friends there, 4 seasons of weather, and an active neighborhood. It was the best, and yet it was still too far from family, and the traffic was atrocious.

But when I see a photo like this:

I know where my favorite place is. It’s wherever the ocean is. The shore is my favorite place to be. So many of my best memories were there.

The first time I saw the ocean was on a truck driving trip I took with my dad. For a short while, he had his own trailer moving business. He drove the big rigs you see hauling mobile homes on the interstate with those signs that say “Wide Load”, and they have those escort trucks. My dad’s cousin Dale drove one of the escort trucks.

By the way, Dale’s escort truck was one of my favorite childhood things too. This truck had a 10 foot antenna on it. 10 or 20! I got in big serious trouble one time for climbing up and swinging on it until it broke off…

But going back to that trip with my dad, I was around 5 years old, maybe 6, and I got my first glimpses of the deep blue crashing on the shores, and I loved it already.

Beach with the Grands

My next life-changing memory at the beach was the year my grandparents took us to Panama City Beach and rented this little beach house that was only a block away from the shore. I was with my grandparents, my Aunt Linda, and my cousin Amber. My excitement was off the charts.

You see, it was hard for us to take vacations like that where you go to a place and stay there for days on end because we had my sister, who is severely disabled; plus traveling is very expensive.

I grew up sharing a room with my sister, Amanda. We shared a bed even, until 4th grade. Amanda is only 15 months my elder. Caring for her was a full time job, which Mom did pretty much by herself. I had to keep my room tidy, or Amanda would chew up my things. She is blind and unable to walk, but also her brain never developed past that of a sixteen-month-old.

Sometimes at night she’d freak me out pretty good by suddenly smacking her hand over my face when I was trying to sleep. I kind of get a chuckle about it now, but it wasn’t always funny at the time. I understood though, and I loved Amanda. We all loved her, cherished her, and protected her, not that I recall anyone ever trying to bother her when we were around.

Have you seen the movie Wonder?

I related to that movie on a level I haven’t been able to relate to any other movie, although trust me, the book is WAY better. Read the book! In the book, Auggie has an extremely deformed face, which causes the family to have to do things differently and subjects them to lots of staring, and Auggie requires special attention.

Auggie has an older sister, named Via. She’s the one I could relate to in the book. When a family has a member who needs an extraordinary amount of extra care, I think the other members try to make up for it. I always had zero desire to take any more from my family than was necessary because Mom and Dad’s hands were already full. So you do your homework without being told, you plan ahead and study for tests, you make sure you can send yourself to college, and you just try to do the right thing and not cause any problems.

Okay, I know that was a long tangent, but I had to tell where I was coming from to fully explain my deep connection with the ocean by age 14.

Here was a place where I could leave all my usual cares behind me. Amanda, who as I said, we did love her, but she didn’t come with us to the beach. She was at home with Mom, the one who truly needed a vacation.

The beach was glorious, and I could never go without getting soaking wet from tip to toe. We had floats, friends, and Coca-Cola in the refrigerator. Who needed Disney World? Not us. This was amazing.

And that line where the water meets the sky on the horizon points to God.

It just does. You can’t look at that expanse and not see its Creator. Every time I go, it puts me in my place, and there I stand, staring in awe at the vastness of it all. It’s the perfect place to pray.

On the shore, against the never-ending enormous sky and sparkling water, all that land stuff seems smaller. The problems are there, but they don’t feel so close by with the waves crashing at your feet. It’s a spiritual thing. God feels closer and life seems clearer. At least, that’s how it has always been for me.

Even with the loudness of the waves, there’s a calm that I feel there. God is there, steadying my anxiety and reminding me that He is in heaven, and here am I on earth, and I let my words be few while I soak it in.

The sea shore is definitely my favorite place of everywhere that I have been. Just talking about it has made me want to hop in my car and go!

Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, or free, but Christ is all and is in all.
12Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity. 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:11-15

The post Of all the places, which one did you like best? appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

One of my favorite parts of this strange life we lead is choosing my next house. With each one, I say, “Such and such a thing is killing me. Our next house will DEFINITELY have….

-sidewalks

-a bigger master bedroom closet

-4 bedrooms

-more kitchen cabinets!!

It’s always something.

I love getting to see new places and try new set-ups. I don’t even mind redecorating, though it takes so long to get a house looking the way I want it to look that it’s always time to move before I finish.

My mother-in-law is wanting to do a project, which she probably saw on Pinterest. She asked me to dig out a photo of all the houses we’ve lived in for this project.

This is no easy task, but it got me thinking. It’d be fun to do a blog post about all the different houses we’ve occupied. Some of them weren’t “houses” exactly, but they were our homes, for a little while.

2002 Alabama

We got married in 2002, but Alan was away at training for most of that time. I was the weird-o married Resident Assistant for my very last semester of college.

This dear old dormitory is now slated for ye olde wrecking ball. A new Tutwiler Hall is being built “adjacent” to the current building.

2003 Texas

Our first house together!

There is no excitement like moving into your very first home together as a married couple. The sad cloud that hung over us was that on our drive into town, they announced on the radio that Alan’s unit was headed straight for Iraq. This was 2002. We weren’t even in Iraq yet. I was devastated.

Thankfully, we were able to squeeze in 3 blissful months together in this house before Alan was shipped out.

My crowning achievement was that flower bed. It was no longer puny under my watch. When we moved out only 18 months later, it was a glorious bed of petunias surrounding the bushes. The move-out inspector was so impressed, he didn’t charge me a dime for the giant bleach stain on the hallway carpet. I was never good at carpet.

2004 Texas

Alan came home a year later and wanted to move onto the military base, so off we went, from our beautiful civilian 3 bed, 2 bath duplex, across the street from my best buddy, over to this old, ugly 2 bed/1 bath duplex on the base. As you can probably tell, I wasn’t thrilled about it, and I never felt like I truly belonged in it, but whatever. Another year, another rental.

2005 Arizona

We were ecstatic to receive orders to move out west in 2005 because if Alan had stayed where we were, he would’ve gone straight back to Iraq in 2005/2006.

This house holds a special place in our hearts, largely because Joshua was born there, but also because it was a fun place to live. It had shag carpet, no air-conditioning, a pebble yard, and a pool in the backyard. I’m telling you, I’d still want to live there. I can’t even explain it.

2006-2008 Back to Alabama

Oh, 2006, what a year! You couldn’t pay me to repeat it, but that’s another story. We had summer orders again, so we bought a house in Texas. Alan called me on my plane trip to the new house to tell me, “I have new orders. We’re headed back to the South instead. Not Texas.”

We flipped house A, crashed at Alan’s parents’ house for a month, and then rented a house in location B, a lovely split foyer that came with a swing set in back. This lovely split-foyer felt humongous, just the two of us and our baby.

Then along came baby #2, so this house has a special place in our hearts as well. It was a terrible job, though. Alan was never home. Then we went from that job to another Iraq deployment. This time Alan would be gone for 15 months! I decided to move closer to my parents. Parenting 2 babies by myself was more than I could handle, and I knew it.

Off we went again…

2008-2009 South Alabama

Living near my parents for the deployment was a dream. Dad cut my grass, Mom and Dad babysat all the time, plus I had somewhere to go hang out–my parents’ house! But at the end of the day, we still had our pretty “deployment house” to come home to.

2009-2011 Washington, D.C.

The year of two delightful snow blizzards: 2009 and 2010, we lived in D.C. Actually, we lived in this little town house until 2011. I felt crammed, and I was longing for a single family home, so we relocated to the suburbs of north Virginia.

D.C. was such an adventure for us. As a family of four, we were fairly portable and enjoyed traveling the city together. We also hosted dozens of friends and family members who wanted to see the capitol city without spending $400/night for a hotel room, and we loved hosting everyone. I’d do that all over again in a heart beat. Our D.C. years are full of fond memories.

I can explain about that chair. It was just the four of us during those years. Alan and I had put Joshua and Caleb to bed in the respective bedrooms, and we thought they were asleep. We were downstairs playing Ticket to Ride, I believe. When the game was over, Alan went upstairs first and found this marker mayhem chair mess in the office. It was quickly discovered that Caleb, age 2, was obviously not asleep at all, and during his insomnia he had tiger striped the chair, himself, the floor, the wall, and popped all the keys off my laptop keyboard. Yep. All in one night. Back then, we weren’t sure how we would ever survive that little boy, but now it all makes for smiley memories.

What did he have to say for himself that night? He said, “I a tiger!! Rawrrrrr!”

2011-14 Virginia

Living in North Virginia, we continued to host friends and family who came to visit. Plus, we entered the world of being elementary school parents. Also, Alan went to Afghanistan for a while.

We loved our Virginia neighborhood and lived there longer than any house we’ve ever lived in. The house and yard were both spacious, and we fell in love with the community.

2014-16 California

I cannot find a picture of what the front of the house looked like. I’m officially starting a new tradition of photographing our houses, but if you look across the street in this photo you will see another house with an upstairs balcony. That was what our house looked like too.

This was our 3rd military housing experience, and our best one by far. This privatized Navy house is the biggest home we’ve ever lived in. The neighborhood was gorgeous, and our master bedroom had a balcony on it! Not only that, but if you looked through the bushes at just the right angle, you could catch a glimpse of the Pacific Ocean. Such a dreamy place to live for our two home school years!

2016-18 Georgia

Desperate to be done home schooling, we drastically down-sized in Georgia so that we could afford good private school tuition. Still, I loved that house. It had only 3 bedrooms, yes, but the rooms were large, all of the rooms in this house were huge, the master bath was amazing, and it had a fun backyard with a massive hill in it.

2018-19 Back to Virginia

Now that we’ve left the Virginia house I am convinced that the split foyer house is the BEST house for us. I know many of you think I am crazy and that we need a bigger home, but we do not. We needed more closet space and more kitchen cabinets, but that could be done if you own the home.

Why it was perfect: All of the main living space is on one floor. It makes getting kids ready for school in the morning a billion times easier than our current situation. The boys will also tell you that they loved that house. All split foyers have a massive downstairs room, which our kids used for video games, and yet they never felt far away. I still knew what was going on down there.

We’ve lived in split foyers twice, once in Alabama and then this Virginia one, and I gotta say, I think they are surprisingly functional.

2019 Maryland

I appreciate our house here. We actually bought this one because we expect to stay a while, but I miss how compact our last two houses were. Now I’m back to trying to figure out where everyone is. You hear people say often in our house, “Where are you???” Ugh.

How I miss our 3 bedroom in Georgia and our split foyer. I don’t think we will be one of those families who retires to a mini mansion. Give me a nice ranch with a screened in porch and a neighborhood with sidewalks. Oh, and of course, tons of kitchen cabinets.

Now just for fun, here’s a bonus question for long time blog readers and family. Can you tell which state the house in this next photo was in?

The post Tour of Homes from 17 Years of Army Life appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

A couple of moves ago, my mom was visiting us, and she was noticing my boys sitting with a new friend they’d made. She said, “That’s funny. It’s like they have that same friend at every place y’all move to.”

I’d never thought of it that way, but that made me stop and think. We meet all new people with each move. In fact, it usually takes us a year to figure out who exactly the new main characters of our lives will be.

But the boys do often make friends more quickly than we do. There’s usually an outgoing boy close to their ages who will take to them. He’s always a little more secure than we are, more energetic even, but good. We haven’t run into many boys we didn’t think were good kids, honestly. Sometimes it’s a neighbor and sometimes a church or school friend, but there’s always at least one good friend, who according to my mom, is exactly like all their friends in the past.

That made me think about myself. Do I have that one same friend at each place? Hmmm. No, I don’t exactly, BUT there are certain roles that your friends fulfill, and eventually I do tend to find that at each place.

Maybe you can relate. Here are a few of my favorite kinds of friends. Which one are you? Which one am I for you? I think I’m different ones for different people, depending on their circumstances.

The 10 Friends You Need at Each Duty Station

#1. The Outgoing Friend Who Gets You Out of the House

I could sit here and name names here. What’s funny is they always managed to arrived when I needed them most. God knew what he was doing.

This friend is IMPORTANT. Every single one of these seems to have come along at a time when I was feeling alone and needed someone to pull and tug me out of my pjs and out into the world. Maybe they are less insecure than me. They want to get out and see the world and for some reason have decided to take you with them.

The outgoing friend can keep you from a world of isolation, which can be a sad road to go down. They are fun too, and conversation is so easy with them because they will happily do most of the talking. But their never ending ideas for talking topics helps you to get talking too because they are just the master of this.

#2. The Everything in Common Friend

You have so much in common with this person that it feels unreal– amazing. How is this possible? And yet it is.

They are from the same state, the same college, or they have the same kind of kids, and they even get why this or that didn’t work out for you because it didn’t work out for them either! Maybe you wear the same size dress and listen to the same music. You both love Anne of Green Gables and don’t really care about Star Wars.

The everything in common friend is sometimes a special bond level of friend, but if one of you isn’t outgoing or careful about communication she will be harder to keep in touch with than Outgoing Friend.

#3. The Healthy Friend

This lady doesn’t eat sugary stuff or fatty fare either. She exercises daily and looks like you did at 24. It can be tempting to be jealous of her or to hide from her if she’s the kind that’s trying to change you. But get to know her before you run away. Your friendship may help you add years to your life and have less heartburn.

Most of my super fit friends have been very fun and have not tried to take away my hamburgers or force their tofu on me.

Much can be learned from her. I used to watch what Amy (half of my friends are named Amy) would order when we ate out and try to copy it. That way I knew for at least that meal I was “eating healthy.”

#4. The Helping Friend

Being a natural helper is a whole personality type. It’s a wonderful personality, but you have to be careful because you don’t want to take advantage of them. This friend loves to help others. She will actually even think of your needs before you say them. It’s a gift.

The helper friend will also take on your problems sometimes. She’s perfect to have around, but we just have to be sure to help her sometimes too.

So actually you can also learn from the helper. From her we can learn how to help and think more selflessly. You will want to pack her in your suitcase and take her with you to your next duty station, but alas, she has a life of her own.

#5. The Hilarious Friend

Some people can’t help but be funny. I have a friend in Virginia who cracks me up so hard, with barely even trying. She is gasping-for-air level funny.

That whole “what people remember about you is how you made them feel”, this is most obvious with the hilarious friend. I need more of these in my life!

#6. The Wiser Friend

She may not even be much older than you, but she seems to have just been there/done that on everything. Her kids are older, so she knows the phase you are going through with yours and doesn’t judge.

Older friend adds perspective to what you’re going through. She says things like, “It’s just a phase. He’ll grow out of it,” or “Try doing….yada yada yada.. That’s what I did, and it worked for us!”

We all need the older friend to listen to. Now I’m not talking about the one who has forgotten all the problems and sees the past through rose-colored glasses, but the one who has done what we’re doing and can still remember the pain!

#7. The Young One

Don’t underestimate the younger friend who asks for our advice and doesn’t even have forehead wrinkles yet. The young one has a place too.

Young friend is still optimistic and energetic. Her idealism is something we’ve forgotten, and it can be okay to be reminded. Also it’s our job to help her with the struggles of young parenting, when in fact, she wants our help.

Also, sometimes her energy can be contagious. I remember being with a younger mom of three a couple of years ago. She was listing the twenty thousand things she was doing that day. All I could think was, “Good gracious. That is an insane amount of places to be in one day. Did I ever do that?? Maybe I could do more…”

#8. The Meal Bringer

Whether it’s a surgery or a newborn baby or just a nervous breakdown, there’s always that one who will make you a meal and bring it to your house. God bless these women. There is no more glorious sight! And goodness knows, between 2013 and 2016, I was ever so thankful for the meal bringer.

#9. The Non-Judgey Friend

God bless the often irreverent, non-judgmental friend. She is right up there with the hilarious one. Irreverent friend says things you would not post on Facebook. She offers wine, makes time for coffee, and provides the most honest of advice.

You can say literally ANYTHING to her, and she will not judge you. When something crazy has happened, she is the first one to call because you don’t have to clean up any of the details. Tell it like it is. She doesn’t care.

#10. The Neighbor

You’ve planned a whole recipe, got it halfway cooked, and then realized you have no tomatoes, not even canned tomatoes. What to do? You call your neighbor. They always have diced tomatoes, or butter, or milk.

They have a key to your house when you’re out of town, know how to let the dog out for ya, and check your mail. It’s a sad, sad world without at least one neighbor friend.

These are just fun attributes, but the bottom line is friends are worth their weight in gold. I wish I could take all of mine along with me every time we move and we could just build our own colony– in Monterey –but without all the taxes!

The post The 10 Friends You Need at Each Duty Station appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The Military life is a unique one for sure.

Sometimes I find myself saying things that are sort of ridiculous, so I took a few minutes to jot a few down. Maybe you can relate.

“I just can’t possibly sit through another church’s new member class. I won’t do it.”

–I said this with all the drama and emphasis you can imagine. Sitting for more than 30 minutes is agonizingly painful for my back, so new church member classes are both boring and torturous. I do not care about how many big theology school words you can throw around. You preach salvation by faith in Jesus. You stick to God’s word? I’m good. I’ve visited a few times, and everything seems to be right on. Add me to the roll. Do not put me through another one of those hours long classes.

“I moved the box of books to the basement, so really I’m done.”

When moving, “done” is definitely a relative term.

“I have 4 children, and the youngest is in 1st grade, but I know nothing more than a kindergarten parent here. Literally, I know nothing.”

New schools are each intimidatingly different from whatever their last school was, and they don’t go over the basics with 3rd grade classes the way they do for kindergarten parents, so you hang on to every word at Open House and read all the papers. Next year I can be more cool.

“We’ve moved 4 times in 5 years. Yes. 2014: Virginia to California. 2016: Cali to Georgia. 2018: Georgia to Virginia. 2019: Virginia to Maryland.”

This is what I said to Alan this week. He had asked, “4 times in 5 years? Is that really true?” So then I recited the list of moves.

“Yes, I know I have an Alabama driver’s license, Texas plates, and a Washington, D.C. insurance policy. I’m an Army wife. My husband is overseas in Afghanistan. They make us move a lot, and we are not required to get new licenses as part of a military exception. Can you please not give me a ticket?”

Okay. That one was actually 8 years ago I said that, and that Alabama state trooper did in fact still give me a speeding ticket. Oh well, I guess I was speeding, and you can’t win them all. I win almost none of them. If I get pulled over, you can be guaranteed I will also get a ticket.

“We haven’t decided whether or not to fool with curtains yet.”

“Maryland is the most expensive state in the union, and that is coming from someone who has lived in California, D.C. and northern Virginia.”

It’s the everyday costs more so than the housing costs I’m referring to, ya’ll. They charge you exorbitant fees to take your grass clippings, there are high HOA fees, and don’t even get Alan started on how expensive it was to register our vehicles. However, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that school lunch is only $2.50.

“You have got to see the Goodwill store here. It’s amazing.”

“I’m still getting up the nerve to go see my PCM because I don’t know if it will be a nice, helpful one or a mean, lazy one.”

You would not believe some of the experiences I’ve had, unless you’ve been a mil spouse or just a person for a long time too. Then you would definitely get it. Choosing a doctor blindly can be scary.

“We don’t have a dentist yet to put on this form, but they just had their check-ups 2 months ago, so we are not going quite yet.”

“I can’t pick a dentist blindly. How do you know the good ones from the ones who invent cavities to fill?”

I’m telling you, this happens.

“This place has the coolest library EVER!!”

“Where do people go here to eat BBQ?”

“I still can’t remember which day is trash and which day is recycling.”

Okay I know I said 14, but here are 2 more because they just keep coming to me…

“Honey! What is our zip code???”

“Wait. What state do I live in?”

I usually ask myself this at the grocery store for some reason. The sad thing is that it’s not just a freshly-moved problem. It’s a frequent-mover thing. It could be a year since our last move, and I will ask myself this in the store, usually wondering if I will be able to find certain regional foods, like Dale’s meat tenderizer.

Hope you enjoyed the list! Feel free to add to it in the comments section! Maybe I can make a Part 2.

Okay…Just one more!

“I rescheduled my heart procedure for 2 months out because that way Alan should definitely be in town. Hopefully.”

The post 14 Crazy Things I Said this Week that Make Perfect Sense for a Military Wife appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Saddam was captured on the outskirts of Ad Dawr, where most of Saddam’s family lived. You will see Ad Dawr spelled different ways in different places.

*****This post is part of the Real Army Wives of Fort Hood series. A new chapter is published each Monday. (Well, I aim for Monday..) Click here to read last week’s chapter: The Only One Without Mid-Tour Leave*****

On the morning of December 13th, 2003,

I was awakened by a phone call from Alan’s parents. Remember, they watched the news constantly, while I only tuned in occasionally.

“Turn on the news, April!” Nonna urged.

I sat up in bed and turned on the little 19 inch that I kept in my room to watch Lifetime shows at night.

I found a news show, and there it was. The news was on every network and cable news channel there was. “Saddam captured by US forces!”

“That’s where Alan is!!” Nonna explained excitedly, “Ad Dwar!! He gets to be there for this!!”

“Oh, wow, you’re right. That’s a small town, so that’s EXACTLY where Alan is!!”

Everyone was so excited, especially since no one had had much hope. After all, it’d been 2 years since 9/11, and they had yet to find Osama bin Laden. If they couldn’t find bin Laden, maybe Saddam would prove just as difficult.

Thankfully, that proved to not be the case. Do you remember watching all of this on t.v.? Well, special forces soldiers came in and found and extricated the ex-king, but Alan’s unit, 4-42 Field Artillery was there to support them, so Cloe’s husband and Kayla’s husband were involved too. And really this victory belonged to all of 4th Infantry Division. This provided some much needed excitement and encouragement!!

Alan and other members of his unit went over to the hole and took photos the next day.

Saddam Hussein was discovered on December 13th, and for you youngsters, Saddam Hussein was the President of Iraq from 1979-2003. He was a notorious figure due to his invasion of Kuwait in 1990 and genocide of groups of Kurds and Shiites.

editor’s note–Tikrit not Tikrmt. That was an autocorrect error as I retyped this letter since Alan’s actual letter was too faded to photograph.

These photos were all taken on December 15, 2003.

However, our camera was off a month, so the time stamp says 1/14/2004. But in 2004, the hole was cemented over to prevent it from becoming a monument.

Alan, standing by the air pipe to the Saddam hole

Saddam was hiding in a rural area, close to the Tigris River. He was living in a hut, with a trail that led through an orange grove to the river. The hole that we all saw on the news was his hiding hole. How much of the time he spent in the hole vs. the hut, I do not know.

Entry way to where Saddam hid out

The famous styrofoam covering. The rug that had covered the styrofoam is removed.

It was a very thick styrofoam lid.

We ran this photo in several publications in the U.S. following the capture.

Let’s take a tour of the famous hole and hut, shall we?

Going in

As you can see, the hole had an L type shape to it.

You can see the air pipe.

The hole was walled in concrete.

Doesn’t it seem like this bed shelf beside the hole would be a giveaway? But I suppose Saddam had many many friends and family members covering for him and taking care of him here.

The bedroom…..not very presidential, eh?

Not the ritziest part of town…a far cry from his palaces..

You can see where Alan labeled his bedroom and kitchen in Saddam’s hut.

a peek into the presidential hide-out kitchen, complete with bug spray and dusty shelves..

Note: This is how it looked AFTER being ransacked by American soldiers for intelligence gathering.

pathway through the orange orchard to the river

I asked Alan a few burning questions:

“How many times do you think you walked super close to the notorious Saddam Hussein and never even knew it?”

Maybe once.

“Did you ever go to that orange grove before?”

We’d been within 20 feet of it, but only once, and only a week before that. I’d never been to the back of the grove.

“Had you ever seen that shack?”

I had never noticed it.

path to Saddam

Looks like a beautiful pathway, doesn’t it?

!

Locals Protested.

This is Saddam’s hometown, so yeah, of course they came out to protest this event. This was the whole crowd. Alan said he went into his base, and saw soldiers gathering around the t.v.

“They are making this look like a huge protest of 100s of people on t.v., when really it’s like 50 people.”

The soldiers often became disenchanted with American media coverage of this war.

Alan said that just the day before he’d talked to this boy in front and given them school supplies. Now here was the boy protesting. Alan looked at the boy like, “What??” And he said the boy just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

All the school books were riddled with pictures of Saddam Hussein; he was a little less than humble! In hindsight, Alan said there were some older males in back that were putting the school teachers and students up to the trouble by tearing out pictures of him and just causing a raucous to just see how the Americans would handle it.  The armed guards in front of Alan were of the Iraqi Civil Defense Corps. These were newly trained males by allied forces such as Alan’s unit, to handle general security tasks alongside our troops and the new Iraqi government.

The timing of this capture was perfect. It gave us all a sense of progress and victory and hope going into Christmas, for everyone involved.

It was such a surreal thing to be closely involved in an event of international importance like this. I remember being very aware of the enormity of it all.

And what became of Saddam Hussein?

Well, he was tried by 5 Iraqi judges as part of a special tribunal. He was found guilty of the 1982 Dujail massacre, and he was sentenced to hanging. The hanging was carried out in December 2006, 3 years after his capture.

For more information on Saddam Hussein’s history and capture, you can read these articles which were also my sources.

Saddam Hussein Trial Fast Facts–CNN

Seeking Justice in Dujail–BBC

The post Inside the Saddam Hole, December 2003 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Alan, at the Balad Airfield, with other soldiers, waiting to board a C-5 to Qatar.

****This post is part of a series titled The Real Army Wives of Fort Hood. Each Monday I post a new chapter. These are all true stories of my own experiences on the home-front as well as stories from my friends.****

Please excuse the horrendous photo quality of these pictures. They were taken in 02-04, and are not available to me digitally, so all I have is fuzzy photos of photos. My apologies!

Sometimes in life things simply don’t go your way, and there’s nothing to do but make the best of a tough situation. Sending my husband to war the very first year of our marriage felt like a series of tough breaks, let me tell ya!

Somewhere around the 6-month-mark of the deployment, word came down that SOME of the soldiers would be receiving a little thing called “mid-tour leave.”

Mid-Tour Leave is this amazing treat where a service member gets to leave their year-or-longer deployment to come home for TWO whole weeks.

When I first heard of this, I was full of hope and excitement. I had never imagined that Alan might get to come see me before the year was up. But wait. Some? How do they choose which ones get a break and which ones don’t?

Alan, proudly displaying a rat that he’d killed. Their building suffered quite the infestation of rodents.

My friends and I tried not to get our hopes up, but of course we all hoped and prayed that our husbands would indeed receive one of these mid-tour leaves. Sign us up for that right away!

Immediately, we started seeing soldiers come home on pass. We were excited to see them, and it filled us with even more anticipation of “What about me? Am I next?”

And right away, Alan began his campaign to keep me from getting my hopes up.

Alan had no intention of taking any pass. If there were a limited number of mid-tour leaves available, then Alan maintained that he would not touch one. No way was he taking a pass which may cost a younger soldier, with less rank, or a father who wanted to see their children, theirs.

“April, think about it. Some of these have children they haven’t seen in 6 months. And how would you feel if you saw my boss at home while I wasn’t getting to come home? We don’t want to make anyone feel like that.”

He was right. Eventually, I had to watch all of his bosses come home on leave while Alan stayed in the combat zone. No, it wasn’t a fantastic feeling.

That’s Alan. Always taking the high road. Yes, that’s one reason I married him, but how irritating was this now.

At first I fought it.

It was hard for me to convert to this unselfish way of thinking. Alan hardly had any rank, it seemed. He was a lieutenant. That’s as low as you can go in the officer ranks, but compared to the average, young enlisted men it was a different story.

Everyone had a hard job over there. It’s war. War is ugly, but the lower you are on the totem pole, the greater the likelihood of getting the worst job (in my opinion) of all…..burning out the outhouse waste. There’s actually a registry now of all soldiers exposed to that toxin.

I didn’t want to think about who wouldn’t get a pass if he did. I just wanted HIM to get one! He deserved it. They ALL deserved it. Oh! The insanity of it all!

But in the end, I was proud of Alan for declining to take a mid-tour leave. I accepted what he was doing as the right thing to do.

I stood by and watched as one by one, all of my friends’ husbands came home for their two-week pass. Jealousy threatened, I know it did.

Sure, I was jealous. Who wouldn’t be? But at the same time, I was happy for my friends. I was especially happy for the ones who were still having a harder time emotionally and for the fathers and children reunited.

Isn’t it funny how sometimes you have to work at being a good person? Ha! I sometimes had to work at it, but not too hard. It made me happy to see my friends happy, and yes, it made me sad too. I wasn’t sad that they got to see their husbands. I was only sad that I didn’t get to see mine. Why couldn’t we ALL get this privilege? I’m sure there was a good reason, though I don’t know what it was.

Ever the optimist, sometimes I’d allow myself to dream that one day he’d just show up at my door, on a surprise mid-tour leave. Surely he was just taking me for a ride. Really he was coming home just like everyone else.

But it never happened. 

Alan did eventually receive a pass, though it wasn’t nearly as awesome as going home for 2 weeks. Instead, they sent service members who did not receive a mid-tour leave like Alan on a 3 day pass to Qatar.

He got to relax for a few days without the stress of war, and that’s the most important thing, though 3 days doesn’t sound like much. It was definitely better than nothing.

I laughed because the kitty that I was fostering belonged to an Air Force officer who was deployed to Qatar. In this case, the Air Force’s deployment location was the Army’s vacation spot. ha!!

While Alan was in Qatar, he went shopping in a local mall there. He sent me photos from the Starbucks and such to show me how Westernized Qatar is.

That crazy man purchased a full burqa for me and Middle Eastern clothes for himself as well. He thought it would be so hilarious if we wore those to the mall in Killeen whenever he got home from the war and just watch people’s reactions. I told him no way. He was out of touch (literally) to think people in Texas in 2004 would find it funny for us to dress like that and go hang out at the mall.

Alan may be extra responsible and kind, but now you also know that he has a good sense of humor and enjoys shocking people. I, on the other hand, would rather never shock anyone.

As you can see from the women’s clothing around Alan and the other soldiers, Qatar is still a very strict Muslim society.

We weren’t the only ones to not receive mid-tour leave. We were just the only ones of my close friends, so it seemed like EVERYONE got one but us.

You can also see (in the photos above) that there were actually plenty of young soldiers who did not receive a mid-tour leave. I think there may have been some sort of lottery that Alan asked them to leave his name out of or something.

I’m thankful they gave at least some of the soldiers a mid-tour leave. Some is better than none, but it was a giant disappointment for all the ones denied that leave. I don’t know. Maybe Alan wasn’t all that disappointed, but I can guarantee you that many were.

Years later, when Alan went back to Iraq in 2008-2009, we DID receive a mid-tour leave, by then everyone did, and it was so sweet. We took the boys to Disney World, and it was such a blessing that helped Joshua (then age 3) to remember who his father was.

the Persian Gulf

Be sure to come back next week for the day Alan’s parents woke me up with BIG news from the war, involving Alan! Here’s a hint: It was December 13, 2003, and I have AMAZING photos of this event.

The post The Only One Without Mid-Tour Leave appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Cloe, Me, and Kayla in Houston

Friday, Oct. 17, 2003

Alan,
Hey! I’m in Houston, Texas! I’m sharing a room with Elsie.
We left Killeen around 3:30 this afternoon. It’s Cloe, Elsie, Kayla, and myself. We all rode down in Cloe’s little 2-door Civic! it was a tight squeeze, but we’re having a lot of fun.

We got here at night, so we haven’t gone anywhere yet. And don’t worry, we aren’t planning on spending much money at all. Tomorrow we’re going on a tour of homes, the mall, and an outdoor concert that’s free.

Cloe’s friend Rachel came over, and we all played board games, Cranium and Clue. You would enjoy Cranium, I think.
And guess who won Clue?? Me, of course! My Clue-winning streak is still alive.

Road trip!

I enjoyed talking to you SO much this morning. I did manage to go back to sleep too–and slept until 12. 🙂 I’ve been talking about cute things you said ALL day.

It meant so much to me that you support my going back to school. Thank you so much. I promise I’m not going to let you down! And we’ll still get to go on our cruise. We’ll cruise away. Just being together is going to be SO romantic!

***********

October and November were all about studying for the GRE, applying to my local university satellite campus, and making trips with family and friends. I went to Houston, Tuscaloosa, my parents’ house, and Destin.

First, there was the trip to Houston mentioned in the letter. I remember staying up past midnight just talking to Elsie after staying up to play board games, and the tour of homes the next day was amazing. It was a tour of these custom-built houses in a swanky area of Houston. Why is it so fun to look at enormous homes? I don’t know, but it is.

Can I be that skinny again, please?? Gracious.

But the thing I remember most was that we visited a church service with Cloe on Sunday morning. I think it was a little Presbyterian or Episcopal church, where Cloe’s father-in-law was the minister. During the “greeting” time, there were many congregants who hugged us and thanked us for our service to our country.

We had not realized this one major human need that we were all missing. We talked about it all the way back to Cloe’s house.

“Wasn’t it great how they hugged us?”

“Yes, but I had a really hard time not crying.”

“Oh, I totally had tears. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t realize how long it had been since someone touched me.”

“I know! Yes! Who knew touch was so important?”

“It is. I had no idea. We should all hug each other more often.”

“Yeah, it’s like you just want to go up to people and say, ‘Excuse me, will you hug me? I haven’t been touched in months, not even on the shoulder. Just touch my arm. That will do.”

There was lots of laughter and that bond of walking that same strange and lonely married-deployed-spouse-with-no-kids path together.

Elsie, Me, Kayla, and Cloe at Cloe’s parents’ house

I don’t think any of us had realized the importance of this need for physical touch in our lives until that church service, and I know for a fact none of those church members that morning had any idea how much their hugs had blessed us….a good thing to remember when you want to help a lonely person! Sometimes it’s just a simple hug that’s needed.

1Finally, brothers, rejoice! Aim for perfect harmony, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 12Greet one another with a holy kiss. 13All the saints send you greetings.…

 

2 Corinthians 13:12

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