A couple of moves ago, my mom was visiting us, and she was noticing my boys sitting with a new friend they’d made. She said, “That’s funny. It’s like they have that same friend at every place y’all move to.”

I’d never thought of it that way, but that made me stop and think. We meet all new people with each move. In fact, it usually takes us a year to figure out who exactly the new main characters of our lives will be.

But the boys do often make friends more quickly than we do. There’s usually an outgoing boy close to their ages who will take to them. He’s always a little more secure than we are, more energetic even, but good. We haven’t run into many boys we didn’t think were good kids, honestly. Sometimes it’s a neighbor and sometimes a church or school friend, but there’s always at least one good friend, who according to my mom, is exactly like all their friends in the past.

That made me think about myself. Do I have that one same friend at each place? Hmmm. No, I don’t exactly, BUT there are certain roles that your friends fulfill, and eventually I do tend to find that at each place.

Maybe you can relate. Here are a few of my favorite kinds of friends. Which one are you? Which one am I for you? I think I’m different ones for different people, depending on their circumstances.

The 10 Friends You Need at Each Duty Station

#1. The Outgoing Friend Who Gets You Out of the House

I could sit here and name names here. What’s funny is they always managed to arrived when I needed them most. God knew what he was doing.

This friend is IMPORTANT. Every single one of these seems to have come along at a time when I was feeling alone and needed someone to pull and tug me out of my pjs and out into the world. Maybe they are less insecure than me. They want to get out and see the world and for some reason have decided to take you with them.

The outgoing friend can keep you from a world of isolation, which can be a sad road to go down. They are fun too, and conversation is so easy with them because they will happily do most of the talking. But their never ending ideas for talking topics helps you to get talking too because they are just the master of this.

#2. The Everything in Common Friend

You have so much in common with this person that it feels unreal– amazing. How is this possible? And yet it is.

They are from the same state, the same college, or they have the same kind of kids, and they even get why this or that didn’t work out for you because it didn’t work out for them either! Maybe you wear the same size dress and listen to the same music. You both love Anne of Green Gables and don’t really care about Star Wars.

The everything in common friend is sometimes a special bond level of friend, but if one of you isn’t outgoing or careful about communication she will be harder to keep in touch with than Outgoing Friend.

#3. The Healthy Friend

This lady doesn’t eat sugary stuff or fatty fare either. She exercises daily and looks like you did at 24. It can be tempting to be jealous of her or to hide from her if she’s the kind that’s trying to change you. But get to know her before you run away. Your friendship may help you add years to your life and have less heartburn.

Most of my super fit friends have been very fun and have not tried to take away my hamburgers or force their tofu on me.

Much can be learned from her. I used to watch what Amy (half of my friends are named Amy) would order when we ate out and try to copy it. That way I knew for at least that meal I was “eating healthy.”

#4. The Helping Friend

Being a natural helper is a whole personality type. It’s a wonderful personality, but you have to be careful because you don’t want to take advantage of them. This friend loves to help others. She will actually even think of your needs before you say them. It’s a gift.

The helper friend will also take on your problems sometimes. She’s perfect to have around, but we just have to be sure to help her sometimes too.

So actually you can also learn from the helper. From her we can learn how to help and think more selflessly. You will want to pack her in your suitcase and take her with you to your next duty station, but alas, she has a life of her own.

#5. The Hilarious Friend

Some people can’t help but be funny. I have a friend in Virginia who cracks me up so hard, with barely even trying. She is gasping-for-air level funny.

That whole “what people remember about you is how you made them feel”, this is most obvious with the hilarious friend. I need more of these in my life!

#6. The Wiser Friend

She may not even be much older than you, but she seems to have just been there/done that on everything. Her kids are older, so she knows the phase you are going through with yours and doesn’t judge.

Older friend adds perspective to what you’re going through. She says things like, “It’s just a phase. He’ll grow out of it,” or “Try doing….yada yada yada.. That’s what I did, and it worked for us!”

We all need the older friend to listen to. Now I’m not talking about the one who has forgotten all the problems and sees the past through rose-colored glasses, but the one who has done what we’re doing and can still remember the pain!

#7. The Young One

Don’t underestimate the younger friend who asks for our advice and doesn’t even have forehead wrinkles yet. The young one has a place too.

Young friend is still optimistic and energetic. Her idealism is something we’ve forgotten, and it can be okay to be reminded. Also it’s our job to help her with the struggles of young parenting, when in fact, she wants our help.

Also, sometimes her energy can be contagious. I remember being with a younger mom of three a couple of years ago. She was listing the twenty thousand things she was doing that day. All I could think was, “Good gracious. That is an insane amount of places to be in one day. Did I ever do that?? Maybe I could do more…”

#8. The Meal Bringer

Whether it’s a surgery or a newborn baby or just a nervous breakdown, there’s always that one who will make you a meal and bring it to your house. God bless these women. There is no more glorious sight! And goodness knows, between 2013 and 2016, I was ever so thankful for the meal bringer.

#9. The Non-Judgey Friend

God bless the often irreverent, non-judgmental friend. She is right up there with the hilarious one. Irreverent friend says things you would not post on Facebook. She offers wine, makes time for coffee, and provides the most honest of advice.

You can say literally ANYTHING to her, and she will not judge you. When something crazy has happened, she is the first one to call because you don’t have to clean up any of the details. Tell it like it is. She doesn’t care.

#10. The Neighbor

You’ve planned a whole recipe, got it halfway cooked, and then realized you have no tomatoes, not even canned tomatoes. What to do? You call your neighbor. They always have diced tomatoes, or butter, or milk.

They have a key to your house when you’re out of town, know how to let the dog out for ya, and check your mail. It’s a sad, sad world without at least one neighbor friend.

These are just fun attributes, but the bottom line is friends are worth their weight in gold. I wish I could take all of mine along with me every time we move and we could just build our own colony– in Monterey –but without all the taxes!

The post The 10 Friends You Need at Each Duty Station appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Saddam was captured on the outskirts of Ad Dawr, where most of Saddam’s family lived. You will see Ad Dawr spelled different ways in different places.

*****This post is part of the Real Army Wives of Fort Hood series. A new chapter is published each Monday. (Well, I aim for Monday..) Click here to read last week’s chapter: The Only One Without Mid-Tour Leave*****

On the morning of December 13th, 2003,

I was awakened by a phone call from Alan’s parents. Remember, they watched the news constantly, while I only tuned in occasionally.

“Turn on the news, April!” Nonna urged.

I sat up in bed and turned on the little 19 inch that I kept in my room to watch Lifetime shows at night.

I found a news show, and there it was. The news was on every network and cable news channel there was. “Saddam captured by US forces!”

“That’s where Alan is!!” Nonna explained excitedly, “Ad Dwar!! He gets to be there for this!!”

“Oh, wow, you’re right. That’s a small town, so that’s EXACTLY where Alan is!!”

Everyone was so excited, especially since no one had had much hope. After all, it’d been 2 years since 9/11, and they had yet to find Osama bin Laden. If they couldn’t find bin Laden, maybe Saddam would prove just as difficult.

Thankfully, that proved to not be the case. Do you remember watching all of this on t.v.? Well, special forces soldiers came in and found and extricated the ex-king, but Alan’s unit, 4-42 Field Artillery was there to support them, so Cloe’s husband and Kayla’s husband were involved too. And really this victory belonged to all of 4th Infantry Division. This provided some much needed excitement and encouragement!!

Alan and other members of his unit went over to the hole and took photos the next day.

Saddam Hussein was discovered on December 13th, and for you youngsters, Saddam Hussein was the President of Iraq from 1979-2003. He was a notorious figure due to his invasion of Kuwait in 1990 and genocide of groups of Kurds and Shiites.

editor’s note–Tikrit not Tikrmt. That was an autocorrect error as I retyped this letter since Alan’s actual letter was too faded to photograph.

These photos were all taken on December 15, 2003.

However, our camera was off a month, so the time stamp says 1/14/2004. But in 2004, the hole was cemented over to prevent it from becoming a monument.

Alan, standing by the air pipe to the Saddam hole

Saddam was hiding in a rural area, close to the Tigris River. He was living in a hut, with a trail that led through an orange grove to the river. The hole that we all saw on the news was his hiding hole. How much of the time he spent in the hole vs. the hut, I do not know.

Entry way to where Saddam hid out

The famous styrofoam covering. The rug that had covered the styrofoam is removed.

It was a very thick styrofoam lid.

We ran this photo in several publications in the U.S. following the capture.

Let’s take a tour of the famous hole and hut, shall we?

Going in

As you can see, the hole had an L type shape to it.

You can see the air pipe.

The hole was walled in concrete.

Doesn’t it seem like this bed shelf beside the hole would be a giveaway? But I suppose Saddam had many many friends and family members covering for him and taking care of him here.

The bedroom…..not very presidential, eh?

Not the ritziest part of town…a far cry from his palaces..

You can see where Alan labeled his bedroom and kitchen in Saddam’s hut.

a peek into the presidential hide-out kitchen, complete with bug spray and dusty shelves..

Note: This is how it looked AFTER being ransacked by American soldiers for intelligence gathering.

pathway through the orange orchard to the river

I asked Alan a few burning questions:

“How many times do you think you walked super close to the notorious Saddam Hussein and never even knew it?”

Maybe once.

“Did you ever go to that orange grove before?”

We’d been within 20 feet of it, but only once, and only a week before that. I’d never been to the back of the grove.

“Had you ever seen that shack?”

I had never noticed it.

path to Saddam

Looks like a beautiful pathway, doesn’t it?

!

Locals Protested.

This is Saddam’s hometown, so yeah, of course they came out to protest this event. This was the whole crowd. Alan said he went into his base, and saw soldiers gathering around the t.v.

“They are making this look like a huge protest of 100s of people on t.v., when really it’s like 50 people.”

The soldiers often became disenchanted with American media coverage of this war.

Alan said that just the day before he’d talked to this boy in front and given them school supplies. Now here was the boy protesting. Alan looked at the boy like, “What??” And he said the boy just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

All the school books were riddled with pictures of Saddam Hussein; he was a little less than humble! In hindsight, Alan said there were some older males in back that were putting the school teachers and students up to the trouble by tearing out pictures of him and just causing a raucous to just see how the Americans would handle it.  The armed guards in front of Alan were of the Iraqi Civil Defense Corps. These were newly trained males by allied forces such as Alan’s unit, to handle general security tasks alongside our troops and the new Iraqi government.

The timing of this capture was perfect. It gave us all a sense of progress and victory and hope going into Christmas, for everyone involved.

It was such a surreal thing to be closely involved in an event of international importance like this. I remember being very aware of the enormity of it all.

And what became of Saddam Hussein?

Well, he was tried by 5 Iraqi judges as part of a special tribunal. He was found guilty of the 1982 Dujail massacre, and he was sentenced to hanging. The hanging was carried out in December 2006, 3 years after his capture.

For more information on Saddam Hussein’s history and capture, you can read these articles which were also my sources.

Saddam Hussein Trial Fast Facts–CNN

Seeking Justice in Dujail–BBC

The post Inside the Saddam Hole, December 2003 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

***This post is part of the series The Real Army Wives of Fort Hood. A new chapter appears each Monday….Okay, well I aim for Monday anyway! Enjoy! Click here for last week’s post.***

I am telling this particular story from my own faulty memory. Facts are as recalled, not necessarily completely accurate.

While most of us were digging in to the second half of the year-long deployment, Sarah was preparing to welcome her husband Zack home from the war. Then they were planning to immediately exit the Army and move down to San Antonio, where they were from.

Bless her. Sarah was dealing with all of these enormous life changes, and none of us had a clue as to how to relate. Sarah had a large support network that included not only our group but many other in-town friends, as well as sisters she was close to, her parents down in San Antonio, and our Sunday School class.

Have I mentioned that somewhere along the way Sarah started going to church with me too? Cloe and Sarah both went to First Baptist Killeen with me. In fact, that’s where we met Kayla.

Sarah, 2003, hanging in my living room. Kitty was in the background, and judging by the pumpkin on the porch, it was October.

First Baptist was a traditional church in downtown Killeen. It’s still a church, but they moved to another campus years later.  Traditional Baptist churches have an hour of Sunday school, followed by an hour-long service of singing and preaching. It’s all I’ve ever known, but I know that many denominations do church differently.

Well, that first hour of Sunday school was balm to our souls that year!

Not only did we get together and listen to a lesson. It was ever SO much more than that! We had a class of around 40 people, half of which were spouses of deployed soldiers. Our class teachers were Jerry and Wanda Lewis. They were ever so much more than teachers! They were our parents away from home.

Jerry and Wanda made it about more than listening to a lesson. We all sat in a gigantic circle. Then we all went around and said our names because there were always new faces amongst us. Usually we’d tell our names and answer a random question, like “Which is better, cake or pie?”

There was a prayer request time too. Many teachers hesitate to have one because people talk too long, with too many details, and it takes away from their amount of time to lecture, but it was part of what made this class great.

We were sharing our burdens with each other every Sunday morning.

Ashley, me, and Wanda (I wish I had a photo with Jerry in it too!)

The lessons were good too, full of sound teaching, but it was the LOVE I remember the most. Having a whole group of people who want to know your name and whether you think football is more interesting than baseball–a whole group of people who will listen when you say that your husband was in a convoy attack and you are praying for the safety of the troops with renewed gusto.

Jerry and Wanda, along with my friends Theresa and Ashley (who were also in this class) didn’t make it only a Sunday morning thing either. They designated Theresa and Ashley to put together gatherings once a month, you know, game nights, progressive dinners, and such. They’d open their homes to us, and we’d just gather.

Wanda also made a regular habit of calling those of us she felt needed it and checking in on us. Talk about making you feel special!

Greg, Ashley, and Suzanne at Wanda’s house playing Bunco: You can see how much fun we had. ****All names of current service members and their families are changed in all of my posts.****

In this way, we weren’t just talking about how God cares for each one of us. We are actually being his ears and arms and heart to each other. This is true fellowship. It’s how the church should function.

Classes like this are how souls are saved.

Sarah was one of those souls. She had grown up Catholic, and she already believed in God. But there were so many questions she wasn’t sure about. When you go through classes and get baptized on the Church’s timeline, it can be easy for their schedule to not match your own heart and head. Maybe you heard all of the lessons, but it never translated to a salvation experience in your heart. That’s how it was for Sarah.

In Jerry and Wanda’s class and in examining the scriptures for herself, Sarah came to a saving knowledge of Jesus. She believed and prayed for Jesus to save her and be the Lord of her life.

I remember her telling us about getting saved. We were sitting in my living room when she told us, and I recall that she said she’d talked to Wanda about it. I was just so pleased and excited for her.

Is there anything more encouraging to your own faith than when you see someone else’s blossom? What a blessing!

Katherine and Sarah at our Christmas dinner at my house

Sometimes it takes a hard time to bring us to a place of faith. We were certainly in the trial of deployment, but Sarah had even more than hard times driving her to her knees. She had a group of encouraging friends walking down the paths of life beside her. It’s easier to find faith, hope, and love when you’re surrounded by that kind of positivity.

You may wonder how Sarah is doing now and if I ever hear from her. I’m sad to tell you that while I figure she’s doing well, we aren’t really in touch. I can’t find her on Facebook anymore, and I haven’t seen her since 2006, right after we’d both had babies just months apart.

I do know that there were many hard times ahead for Sarah, as Zack left her and the baby soon after he returned from the war. However, Sarah went on to have two more children and was always a grounded, mature person with a strong close-knit family there in Texas. I can guarantee you Sarah persevered and is raising a beautiful family.

Sarah, if you read this, email me– or call me. My number never changed!

*****

I know that this topic of belief and faith in God and finding salvation in Jesus can leave many people with questions, so I want to end by saying that if you have any questions, feel free to comment below or email me: storiesofourboys@gmail.com. I’ll be happy to answer any questions.

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***This post is part of the Real Army Wives series, which runs every Monday on storiesofourboys.com. For last week’s chapter click here.***

Sunday, Aug. 17, 2003

Oh, Alan,

I missed you the MOST today!

We had “Back to School” night, where we meet the parents. Everything was fine except instead of 22, I now have 25, and also this grandparent with two children in my class stayed after and basically threatened me.

Yeah. This ignorant, toothless wonder, with a strong cigarette odor about her, told me, in a menacing tone, that her kids will break all my rules, and if I get on to them too much or hurt their feelings, she will come down to the school and yell at me, and she assured me she will yell so loudly that everyone will hear. (Yes, I only wish I were kidding.)

Well, I didn’t say anything in response to that. I dryly and quietly said, “Well, hopefully we won’t have any problems. Did you see their homework folders?”

I drove away from school bawling, not just because of that one parent, but also from so many emotions. After coming home and talking to both of our mothers on the phone, I started feeling better. Then I actually got a lot of work done.

But I’m so exhausted, and I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow. It’s 11 already, so I’m going to bed. I wish you could give me a massage tonight! I need you! I love you.

Love, April

Tues., Aug. 19, 2003

Alan,

Hey! This was the 2nd day of school, and I survived! It wasn’t even torture! It was fine. Yay!!!

I’m so exhausted though.

Today was SO much better. The administration has just been incredibly supportive. I had my kids write about their first day of school today, and that was very interesting. They thought they just had a fun day of school. No one said that I had no idea what I was doing or anything.

But Alan, out of 25 students, I have 20 BOYS!

I wonder if God is preparing me to have lots of sons! Oh, dear! But you know what? Out of 20 boys & 5 girls, I have already seen THREE kids cry, and they were ALL boys.

Andrew cried because he’s just whiny. Michael cried because he didn’t have his breakfast money..Oh!.. Make that 4! Chris cried because he didn’t know if he was supposed to ride the bus or not, and Matthew cried because I gave him a “warning.”

The student that really breaks my heart is my reading L.D. student, Tyler, who sits quietly in my class everyday and when asked what he wants to learn this year, he will tell you the same answer every time:

“I want to learn how to read.”

He tries so hard. Oh, it just breaks my heart. He needs one-on-one help so badly, and no one will give it to him. He is a fourth grader, the age of a fifth grader, and I wish he were spending a reading hour each day with the special ed teacher. That is what he needs, but she seems to have no plans to work with him at all.

Meanwhile, Alan, my friends and family are all being so supportive, and I’m thankful.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the prayers that you and others were saying for me. Let me tell you, God was all over my class today–all over. I have never felt such sincere gratitude towards my Heavenly Father as I do today.

And to you, Alan. Your phone call last night was on my mind all day long. You are just like one of my angels, no matter how far away you may be. I love you so much.

But it’s 10:50 pm, so I HAVE to get to bed. I love you!

Your silly wife,

April

I had little time to spend with my Army Wife pals during this phase, but Sarah would often show up in my classroom after school and help me get everything ready for the next day. I don’t know what I would have done without her!!

That First Week

It seemed like I couldn’t get anything right that first week. I had about three boys who were so unruly, I did not know how to keep them under control. All day I felt like I was having miniature heart attacks. I would get all worked up, my heart would pound wildly, and I’d have these adrenaline surges, but there was nothing I could do with all that energy, which left me just wanting to scream.

This was probably the beginning of my heart problem, but I did not know that then, so life without beta blockers went on..

There were two AmeriCorps workers put in my classroom to observe, or maybe to help, but I had no clue as to how to utilize their help because I was only figuring things out myself. AmeriCorps is an organization much like Peace Corps, only they work here in the U.S.

The sweet AmeriCorps lady, probably in her late 30s, reassured me day after day.

“I feel so bad for you. I know you’re struggling, but you are so nice to them. They need this. Many of them don’t have anyone like you, who is sweet to them. Don’t be discouraged.”

That was true, and it should have been encouraging, but instead I felt like I was drowning in this job. I only had the AmeriCorps workers that first week. After that, they moved on to help in the high school.

There was no planning period, so I was with the children all day long. They didn’t even leave the classroom for lunch. Trays were brought to them, and they ate at their desks.

Alan had been right when he’d said I had not actually spent much time with children.

I enjoyed reading to them and even teaching wasn’t bad, but keeping order felt impossible.

From the very beginning, every single day was a countdown until summer and freedom from this misery. Why had I ever thought I wanted to teach???

Each night I’d stay at school until 6:45 or so, trying to get caught up. Then when the weekend came, I still needed to grade papers and work on lesson plans.

That first week my washing machine also quit working and flooded my kitchen completely. With my work schedule, it took me 14 hours to get it completely cleaned up.

Are there really people who love teaching? I wondered.

I was literally a square peg trying to shove myself into a round hole.

But it was only the first week. Surely things would improve, right?

When it rains, it pours.

My teacher gig did not improve much as the weeks went by. The toothless wonder turned out to not be too big of a problem since half the time she didn’t even bother to send her children to school. Naturally, their grades were suffering.

Another parent kept grilling me with questions about “the curriculum”. Gracious, I barely even knew what curriculum meant. I was making up my lesson plans as I went, which is definitely not what I figured I should tell her…This was my student teaching year! Only because Texas had a teacher shortage, I was a student teacher with no overseer, other than the assistant principal.

The Second Week

The second week of school, Mrs. Brown started sitting with my class during lunch. I was so ecstatic for this 30 minute break from the classroom!! I practically leaped into my Grand Am and sped off to the Dairy Queen for a cheeseburger, feeling like a convict being let out of prison.

Meanwhile, the phone calls from Iraq slid to a screeching halt. Casualty rates were rising, and something was going on with the phones. Almost every time Alan tried to call me, he was cut off after “Hello.” It was heart-breaking.

My neighbor, Shelby, must have been going through something too because she was screaming and cussing people out on the phone even more than usual, so I got to go to bed to the sound of that coming through my paper-thin master bedroom wall each night.

I rarely had any time to spend with my friends anymore. It felt like the lights had gone out on me, and I was suffocating and losing 5 pounds/week, when I was already considered “underweight.”

When you find a job that is your calling in life, or you’ve always known it was something you wanted to do, or you have a knack for it and enjoy the challenge, I think you are better able to handle the negatives of that job. Part of my problem was that I had no true desire to even be a teacher. I knew going into this that trying to control other people stresses me out. Managing people is not my gift.

The truth was that I never actually wanted this career in the first place.

Teaching doesn’t bother me, it’s the crowd control that was killing me, but that’s a big part of being a successful classroom teacher. I wrestled with this in my heart. I hated my job and missed my husband so much, but I had no idea what to do about it.

Come back next week to see how I handled this!

Click here to read last week’s chapter of this story.

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Sun., Aug. 10, 2003

Alan,

Hey Babe! Tomorrow is my first day of work. In case you haven’t yet gotten my previous letter, I got hired by Graham Elementary School downtown yesterday! Yay!!

I’ll be making $32,000 this year. It’s a state charter school serving mostly low-income students, but it’s located in a church. Yeah, it’s different, but I’m excited about it. I’ll be teaching 3rd and 4th grade in one classroom, all subjects.

It’s going to be tough. School starts the 18th, but teachers start tomorrow. I have to be there at 9:15 am, and from now on, I have a full-time job! It’s exciting and yet terrifying at the same time.

Last night, I cooked dinner for 8, mostly our neighbors: Elsie, Cloe, Annie, Kayla, Katherine, Jay, Phan, and myself. After dinner, Jay left and all the girls stayed and talked while I cleaned up, joining them occasionally in the living room.

I’m glad you met Kayla’s husband. She’s a real sweet girl. She’s enrolled at Central Texas College.

I got those three cameras developed today. I cannot believe you managed to use up 3 cameras in 1 month. And almost all of them are landscapes! Take pics of you and your friends, geez. Just do the method we use to take pics of ourselves, hold the camera in your right hand and click. I do it.

Not all of Alan’s “landscape photos” were uninteresting. This one is of the Tikrit Palace Compound, which became 4th ID Headquarters during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Alan!! I’m so nervous!! How can I be a teacher??

I’m so scared! But it did hurt my feelings in one of your letters when you said you didn’t know how I’d be with kids because you’ve never seen me with children. Hello! Kid’s Klub! And did you ever notice Laura Ellen and Matthew like me? I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but I couldn’t help it.

It’s so weird that I’m starting a new job tomorrow, and you don’t even know about it. I hope you call or email soon so I can tell you. I love you so much, and I hate not being able to share stuff with you. But I’ll deal.

I keep having these dreams that we’ve lost touch, and in them I’m always sad because you never call or visit.

In the dream, I’m all confused, and I don’t understand why we aren’t together. Dream April doesn’t know that you’re in Iraq. Many times you’re just in another state, but always we’ve lost touch, and I’m so hurt.

Depressing, huh? I guess my subconscious knows you’re gone, misses you, and feels abandoned, like a cat in a box on the side of the road. Ok. Ok. Sorry. I’ll stop.

I MISS YOU! I miss you so much I just want to cry! And if I keep thinking about it, I will cry, so I better move on to another topic.

Your family has been really helpful with the teaching job. Your mom and Ellen gave me lots of good ideas, which will help. I’m glad there are lots of teachers in the family.

I love you so much, Alan. Keep praying for me. The first year of teaching is super hard, but add that to the stress of a year-long deployment, and the thought is foreboding. I’m just thankful I’m a Christian. I couldn’t do anything on my strength alone. All credit is due Him.

Thank you for marrying me, Alan. If you were here, I would climb up in your lap and hug you so close and just have a good cry, while you tucked my hair behind my ears and told me everything will be okay. How I wish you were here. I know you do too.

I love you, you big stud muffin.

Forever Yours,

April

************

Was it a bad sign that I hadn’t even started my job yet, and already I wanted to cry?

Starting a full-time job like teaching was exhausting, and I was still trying to be a good housekeeper and a faithful friend. The funny thing is that once you have a full-time job, whether you are a man or a woman, something has to give.

No one can do ALL the things. Even without kids, we have to delegate things to give ourselves space to breathe.

When I was in high school and college, I worked, but I had certainly never been a school teacher before. To this day, I will tell you that all teachers are underpaid, and I have all the respect in the world for them!

***********

Tues., Aug. 12, 2003

10:48 pm

Dear Alan,

I just have too much to do to get to bed early! And I’m sleepy! But I guess you know what that’s like.

I had in-service training from 9-3. I stayed after and talked to Mrs. W. I can’t remember her name, but it starts with a W. There were so many questions I still had unanswered. Mrs. W. was very helpful, and she will be extremely easy to work for.

After work, Annie needed me to drive her to the PX so she could buy a phone card to call her fiancée, Drew, in Germany.

Then I had to drive to Copperas Cove and fill out my “I have a job” form. By the time I got home it was 4:45. I came in and changed, vacuumed the house, tidied up, and collapsed on the sofa at 5:30 or so for a brief break in which I consumed like literally 20 ounces of blue Gatorade in 2 minutes flat.

I was exhausted!

So I made myself dinner, and I was all excited about watching the Miss Teen USA pageant, but I didn’t even really get to watch it because the phone rang. It was your mom, and the call was helpful because I got some good ideas from her. Then my mom called, which was good, but they were both very long calls.

Then I had to get online and submit my application for certifications, and I got that done, and that brings me to now.

I don’t have any idea how full-time workers keep a clean house!

There is delicate laundry hanging to dry all over the place, dirty dishes in the sink, clean, unfolded laundry and school supplies everywhere! I could get much more done if the phone didn’t ring so much, but I know that it is good for me that so many people love me and want to talk to me. Even still, I did ignore three other phone calls.

Oh, Alan! I CAN’T WAIT ’til you get back! I need you! That would help my busy-ness because you can take over the laundry. You’re better at it than me anyway.

Me, in teacher classes. Yes, I used to be tiny, but I promise I do have a right arm. That was an odd angle.

I also learned more about the school and my room today. This school is fine arts oriented. Many children miss out on opportunities for piano, dance, those types of lessons because their parents can’t afford it, like when I was little. I wanted to take dance but couldn’t because it was too expensive.

This school has several fine arts teachers to provide those services. They have chorus, piano, violin, ballet, etc. Really! Pretty cool, huh?

Yet they have no media center…not so cool…But I think it’s a good school, and I’m excited about working here.

I love you, Alan, and I miss you so much. I get letters from you constantly, almost everyday. It means so much to me! You know that though because I’m sure you feel the same way about me.

I know I’m complaining about getting too many phone calls, so allow me to clarify. I am thankful that I am loved. It is a blessing. Calls from you MAKE my day. I love it.

So you just call ANYTIME.  I love you so much, and I always will. Hang in there. It’ll be winter, or at least fall, before you know it!

I love you,

April

*************

I didn’t even get to go into my classroom until the third day of training, and there was such an overwhelming amount of cleaning, decorating, organizing, and planning to do in there.

My friend Sarah was a life-saver. She rescued me day after day, organizing my things, filing my papers, helping me move desks. I couldn’t have done it without her.

We poured ourselves into setting up that classroom, which left little time for planning the actual lessons! I was left furiously scouring the internet for good first-day-of-school ideas the very night before school was to start.

And I’ll tell you all about the first week of school, and the mother I called “the Toothless Wonder” — Don’t worry. Only in my head I called her that– next week!  😉

Want to catch up? Click here for last week’s post and here for the very first post in this series.

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The post True Stories of Real Army Wives: My First Teaching Job appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

******This post is part of the Real Army Wives series which runs every Monday on storiesofourboys.com. The series follows our journey through the 1st year of the Iraq war, 2003-2004. **********

June 24, 2003

Dear Alan,

……Operation Iraq is getting more news time now. The big issue is the mounting amount of coalition troop deaths since the official end of the war. Just this week there were at least 6 British troops killed, and American lives are constantly lost.

Two more were reported yesterday, and each time I hear of it–it’s just awful. I mean not only could that be us (God willing it won’t be), but I feel so awful for those families. I’ve thought about how I would feel and what I would do– Oh!! So terrible! I feel so bad for those families.

I had my teacher certification test today! What a day!

Well, I slept later than I planned, first of all. By ten I was on my way to Waco, about to stop in Belton to pick up Siobhan, who was going to ride with me. Well, then I realized I’d forgotten my test ticket, which you have to have!

But we had planned to go early, so I was okay. Siobhan went on without me, and I circled back home for my ticket and still made it to Waco at 1:00 — 30 minutes before the test.

So I’m looking at my ticket–and I realize–my test is in AUSTIN! (It was given in both cities, but you have to take it at the site you are registered for.

Aughhhh!!! So I go in to ask the administrators what to do. Well, I was so early they weren’t there yet, so I hopped back in the Blazer and drove 90 mph to Austin, and I made it in an hour–very good time.

I was so afraid they wouldn’t let me take it, being so late. But they did. They were even nice about it.

But, Alan, that test was HARD! I just hope I passed. You have to get 80% right to pass!

Well, I was planning to go to Stephanie’s BBQ afterwards, but she cancelled it. But Cloe, Elsie, and Sarah all dropped by unplanned. That was a lot of fun. Sarah and Cloe stayed until 10pm.

Oh! And while I was in Austin the guys next door cut my  our grass! Yay!

Well, that’s about all the news. North Korea situation isn’t looking good.

I love you, Alan. You’re my lobster.

I LOVE YOU!!

April

***************

Kayla, Heather, Cloe, Elsie, & me, watching movies at Cloe’s house. Cloe was on the phone, which is perfect because it always seemed like Cloe managed to talk to her husband way more than the rest of us did.

Around the first of May, I’d started teacher certification school.

Anyone with a bachelor’s degree could enroll, take the “highly qualified” teacher exam, and apply for a probationary teacher certification. My degree was in psychology, but if I completed the course, passed the exam, and taught for one complete year in a Texas school, I could have a teaching certificate.

In the meantime, I was an intern.

Teacher training helped me to pass the time with something other than board games and t.v. watching, so I suppose that was good. It gave me a goal to work towards, even if it was a goal I wasn’t particularly excited about.

The first month of teaching classes were in a large class of about 50 adult students. I was probably the youngest one there, having only just graduated that year, and having graduated a semester early at that.

We did learn all sorts of teaching strategies I would have never dreamed up otherwise, but we never learned how to teach a child to read. It was immensely helpful, but it certainly didn’t compare to a 4-year-teaching degree.

The second month of teaching school was broken into grade levels. I was signed up to be a 4th-8th grade teacher, so we were all put together. That brought the class size down to around 20. For that class, we focused mostly on math skills so that we could all pass this intermediate teaching exam.

It was a good thing, too. The teaching exam was no joke, especially on math.

I won’t make you wait, as I had to wait. I’ll go ahead and tell you that I did pass the test, and then my job hunt was on.

Never did it occur to me at the time that the whole botched test location was perhaps a sign that I should pursue a career I actually wanted, rather than one that just seemed easy to obtain.

Isn’t it funny how sometimes all the signs are right in front of us, but we don’t see them?

Was I praying about this decision? I don’t remember, honestly.

Looking back at this letter to Alan, it looks like the Lord telling my guardian angel to attempt to spare me this giant face-scrape on the sidewalk I was headed for.

“Hide her ticket. Take her to the wrong city. Gracious, don’t let her die while she’s driving so ridiculously fast trying to get somewhere she doesn’t even belong…”

Sometimes you just have to fall flat on your face to see more clearly, to snap out of your stupor.

July and August were a series of huge mistakes for me, mistakes that affected more than just myself, ones I regretted for years afterward. But, oh, how I grew!

I’ve heard it said, and you know it’s true: More people would learn from their mistakes, if they weren’t so busy denying them.

I’m not going to deny my mistakes here. Instead, I want to share them so perhaps you can learn from them too, but you’ll have to come back next Monday for my next big mistake. It actually had nothing to do with teaching.

Click here to read last week’s post and catch up on what you may have missed.

Go here to read the next post in this series.

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The post Letters to War June 24, 2003: The Teaching Test Troubles appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

*****This post is the 10th in the series The Real Army Wives of 2003, the true story of our young military marriage and the friends we made in the beginning of the War on Terrorism.*****

Alan reported to work. We were so nervous and excited to begin his military career. Everything up to this point was training; now it was time for the real action to begin.

He found his unit in a fury of battle preparing. Much of the gear and vehicles needed for combat were already loaded up on trains and shipped to the docks, and the war was yet to begin.

The 4th Infantry Division was drawing up plans to enter Iraq from Turkey, but of course, all of that was thwarted once Turkey denied us access.

Alan was a field artillery officer, assigned the role of Fire Support Officer. That meant that he would actually be invading Iraq with an infantry unit, the 1-22 Infantry.

And so it was that we felt as though we almost belonged to two units. We met two battalion commanders and their wives and attended Hail and Farewell parties for both groups. Only in the wake of war, no one is allowed to “farewell”. It’s really just a “hail” party. Ha! In more than once sense of the word Hail.

***********

Meanwhile, life at home went on.

Many days they would let the men off work early because with deployment looming over our heads, no one knew when we would all be together again. They wanted to give us all as much family time as possible. Of course, some men would not be returning from the war.

The burning question everywhere you went was, “When are they leaving??”

I remember meeting wives my very first Sunday at church, and they very much had a sense of, “The not knowing is killing us. Are they leaving tomorrow? Or will it be another month? How many times do we have to feel like this is it? Just go already!”

If this waiting for orders scenario were to happen to me now, I might feel the same as my friends did. But since Alan and I were finally getting a chance to be together after months of separation, I didn’t let the not knowing bother me. I was thankful for each day we were given.

In my February 11th, 2003, journal entry I wrote:

“Right now it looks like Alan will be leaving next week–which is good news because we thought he would be leaving this week.

We really like it here. We love our neighborhood and our new church family.  I actually feel comfortable calling on Katie, Ashley, or Theresa.”

Family & Church saved the day.

Katie is Alan’s distant cousin, by marriage, but she lived right there in Killeen. When we moved to town, Katie and her husband Eli had us over for dinner right away. Eli was a Captain in the 1st Cavalry Division. The 1st Cav was not leaving as soon as the 4th Infantry. In fact, no one knew when they would get orders either.

Eli and Katie had a sweet and adorable baby boy named Gavin. I actually got to know Katie and Gavin quite well that year. Gavin was excellent baby-handling practice for me. I knew precious little about taking care of babies.

Katie and Eli made us feel comfortable and explained the lay of the land to us our very first week in Texas.

Finding a Supportive Church Family

Ashley  and Theresa, also mentioned in my above journal entry, were friends that we made in Sunday school at First Baptist Church, Killeen. Alan and I stumbled upon this marvelous young adult Sunday school class our second or third Sunday in town.

We loved the way Jerry and Wanda led this small group of young adults each week in discussions of the Bible and applying it to real life. Jerry and Wanda were in their 60s, I think, and that made them excellent second parents away from home. I wonder if Jerry and Wanda ever had any idea how much they meant to every couple in their class. We all adored them.

It was a close group. Right away, Ashley and her husband Jonathan, and Theresa and her husband Chris, as well as others, took us under their wings and invited us to sit with them in church and had us over to their homes.

Jonathan was also preparing to deploy with the 4th ID, but Chris was in the 1st Cav with Eli, so Chris belonged to the group of guys wishing they were going too. They were all young military officers, yet they had more experience than we did.

In this time of looming hardship, people just seemed to know the right thing to do, especially military folks.

[clickToTweet tweet=”That’s the special thing about military communities. We know too well how much we need each other. #milspouse #army” quote=”That’s the special thing about military communities. We know too well how much we need each other.”]

Extended families are something you create for yourself because mom and dad are usually hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away. The Fort Hood community welcomed us with open arms. There was not time for sadness. We had too much excitement going on.

Even Alan’s military unit, the 4-42 Field Artillery, provided comfort and guidance. There were Family Support meetings about what to expect during the deployment. The officers’ and senior NCO wives even had coffees, which are casual dinner socials, lead by the battalion commander’s wife.

We were in this flurry of meeting new people, which eased the pain of the upcoming war, somewhat. Most of the time Alan was excited, and I was busy but also living in dread.

“Hurry up and wait” was the theme of the times.

These meetings we had about deployment would re-awaken my gloom, as it reminded me that this was truly happening, like it or not. I wrote about it in my journal:

“Feb. 12, 2003

We went to a meeting tonight about preparing for deployment. Alan will be gone within a week, and I’ll him miss him MORE than ever!! I’m okay–I know God will take care of us–but I’m not excited about living by myself AT ALL. 

And I look at Alan’s sweet, lovely face & it just makes me want to cry. I love him so much. He is so wonderful. 

My neighbor Elsie stopped by today, and I’m so glad she did. She’s a real sweet girl. She’s very talkative & outgoing which is my preferred choice (because I’m not)! I’m so thankful the Lord’s given me a friend right across the street. 🙂 Thank you, Lord!

Alan’s parents are coming next weekend. My family will be coming soon after that, & Jennings is coming the first half of Spring Break.”

A war-time deployment was something none of us had experienced. No one knew what to expect. Would our parents actually get to see Alan when they came, or would they be there to see him fly out? Or would he already be gone?

For the next chapter in this series, click here: Shock and Awe!

Want to read the chapters that you have missed?

Click here for a chapter list of the series.

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The post Deployment Prep: Next Week for Sure We’ll Be Flying to Kuwait appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.