Mom and me at Kansas City International Airport

Last week Mom and I had to take an unexpected trip to Kansas. My aunt was in the hospital, in ICU. Mom and I were worried, so we trekked on out there.

I’m the arthritis lady that has to take a special trip to the doctor’s office so I can make it through an airplane and car trip. I have to schedule walks down the airplane aisle to keep my legs from going crippled.

Good news: My aunt DID get moved out of ICU, and we got to visit with her. Even in hard times, Aunt Linda’s sharp wit can save a dire situation. She’s funny when she tries to be. She’s even funny when she’s not trying to be. I hope I have that much grace when I’m in a situation like that.

Bad news: She has a long recovery ahead and will be in the hospital for a while yet, and she’s only in her 50s. Hospital stays are miserable.

Other good news: I got to see my cousin Amber, who I grew up playing with, so this was a big deal.

Mom, me, and Amber, taking a lunch break at Panera.

Other bad news: Amber’s back is maybe even more messed up than mine is. We have this family arthritis problem. We could have done without that part of the inheritance, Granny…

So Amber and I were both popping NSAIDs and muscle relaxers and spraying each other with BioFreeze. And by the way, we are still young. We are trying not to think about how much worse this could get!

Nothing was working too well. In fact, as annoying as it is, do you know what seems to help me the most??

Physical therapy exercises. I started them in 2010 when my chiropractor assigned me strengthening and stretching exercises, and I was hurting so much that I actually did them out of pure desperation.

I did them faithfully until I started feeling better. Ever since, I’ve had the hardest time getting back in the habit. I need my own personal physical therapist in my living room.

So I found this YouTube channel that is PERFECT. Actually, it’s more than a YouTube channel. It’s a whole website. I wrote all about it over at Monterey Premier. Check it out here.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”   –Jesus, in John 16:33

The post Top Back Pain Tip from the Arthritis Lady appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Such an anti-climactic couple of days around here.

Do any of you have chronic back pain? I sure do. Upper back, lower back. It goes down the side of my right leg. It pops up in my wrist. I’m always hurting, some days worse than others. When I want to pretend like I feel fine, I pop an Advil 800 and head out into the world. When I want to sleep, I take Tylenol PM.

I lay on hot packs. I rub on Panaway essential oil. I have a stash of back massagers, tens units, back braces, lumbar pillows, anything you’d buy to help with your back, I’ve got a few of them.

No one wants to read about other people’s medical problems, so I try not to write about it too much.

Today was the day I got my MRI report back. I was all excited and nervous about this.

Surely I didn’t research every sort of problem that could cause back pain. Surely I wasn’t afraid that I had cancer. Surely I didn’t imagine suitable replacement wives for my husband. Haha! No, no…. of course I am not that insane.

I just have a wild imagination. I’ve never been a worrier, but I admit I went a little overboard on this one. The thing is that I so badly wanted to know what caused my pain. I figured if I knew the cause, maybe I could fix it.

So when the doctor’s office, which I can never ever get an appointment with, actually called ME to schedule an appointment right away to discuss my MRI results in depth, I thought, “Oh! This is it. There was something on the MRI. We’re getting somewhere,” but those thoughts sort of led to, “I hope I’m not dying, or what if I need surgery?”

Therefore, it felt incredibly anti-climactic but also exciting to find out that the MRI suggests that I am fine. They didn’t let me read the actual report, but she said the only thing on there was tendonitis in my shoulder. 

Pretty funny, as I thought the shoulder MRI was a waste of effort. My shoulder itself is fine. It’s the back muscles around it that bother me.

I’m so happy and relieved to know that basically I am okay. Only, I’m not “okay.” I’m all tired, sleepy, lethargic, and achy.

So the next thing they wanted to discuss was depression……

Am I depressed? I don’t think I’m depressed. I have such a blessed life, I have no reason for sadness.

Okay, well, here’s the thing. I’m not depressed in the sense of being sad or lonely or such. However, the quality of life factor became greatly reduced the day I began to home school my boys.

It’s sad that something I wanted to do so badly turned out to be such a mixed bag of blessings and curses.

I love being with my family. I enjoy knowing what they are learning and seeing them succeed.

The thing is that I am not a school teacher. I don’t enjoy teaching, testing, or researching fun things to do. Plus, it hurts. My back hurts too badly to haul them out to field trips very often. It takes me days to recover from that.

Home schooling has been the single most humbling event of my life. I have leaned on my faith in the heavenly Father hard to simply get through my days. I wake up with a sense of dread over having to manage the course of the day for five separate people, while also feeding them all and wishing for a tidy house or time to do anything that I actually enjoy.

When the boys were in school, I relished that time between 8 and 2:30 to lavish love on my pre-schoolers and live at a slower pace. Then we’d pick them up at 3, we’d all head to the park, and we’d do homework and play in the evening. It worked for us.

I am so glad that I tried the home schooling thing. This was one of those jobs I looked at with high ideals and rose-colored glasses. I romanticized it in my mind, but in the end it is not for me.

Many women love it, and they should continue to home school. I should not.

The stress of managing a job I’m not cut out for is making my entire body hurt. Did you know that’s possible? It is. The aching body is making me less capable to take care of my family and my responsibilities.

I believe that the Lord puts inside of each of us a “soul thing”, a thing that we can do, enjoy doing, and bless others with. I have several soul things. I love being a mom, just a mom. Writing is my therapy, and singing is a little extra fun on the side. Those are my soul things. Oh! And when my back cooperates, I can cook like no tomorrow.

Next year, my children will be taught by someone who enjoys it, and I am going to get back to living a life that fits.

We all have a different mold we are created to fill. I’m done trying to fit into anyone else’s mold. I’m ready to get back to being a happier mom, and that will bless my boys and others as well.

“You won’t ever be able to keep up with unrealistic. Unrealistic demands lead to undercurrents of failure. So don’t allow the unrealistic demands of others to march freely into your life.”    Lisa Terkeurst, The Best Yes, page 161

“And this is my prayer:  that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.”    (Phil. 1:9-10, emphasis added)

The post Can Open, Worms Everywhere: The Back Pain, The Stress, and The Home Schooling appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The oldest children are off on a play date. JD is taking his nap, and the house is quiet.

Can you feel the excitement??  I’m so excited; I could dance around and make carpet angels……if I had more energy. However, I’m old, and I spent all of my energy on teaching them and making their lunch, so instead I’m going to throw a VIRTUAL party, sitting right here, with my laptop. 🙂

Okay. I will calm down now and try to share what’s on my brain. I just heard a noise, and I sincerely hope that it was the wind and not a two-year-old waking up. I’m sure none of you want to see a grown woman cry.

Let’s talk about what’s been going on lately.

I’m still glowing from the women’s retreat. Real life is back in full force, but all’s well.

Every time I hear “all’s well”, I think of Disney’s Robin Hood and the little vultures that shouted, “It’s two-o’clock, and ALLLLLLL’S WAYEL! ALLLLL’S WAAAAAYEL!”

I only watched that movie 100 times when I was a child.

So yes, “All’s waaaaaayel!”

This weekend:

1. I was on my last pair of contacts because I keep forgetting to go pick up the new ones. JD broke the leg off of my glasses. Then the power went out for almost 24 hours! For a minute, I was worried I’d never get to see again. Ha! But all’s well that ends well.
2. I lost all of my home school paper work that was overdue to my umbrella school. We are not our own private school this year. This year I wisely chose a local Christian school to be a part of, which will make the move go much more smoothly.

So those were my issues, but those things have all been taken care of, for the most part. I totally just took all four boys into the eye clinic with me and picked up my new contacts. It was a long 20 minutes and a whole lot of little boys making faces at themselves in the mirror, but it is done. Phew.

Caleb has been improving in soccer like never before. Two games ago, he had SIX goal attempts. The goalie caught every single one, but we were still thoroughly impressed. Go, Caleb!

Daniel is tearing it up in pre-school. I’m as pleased as punch. I hit upon three must have tools for FUN pre-K learning:

1. Chutes and Ladders: This game will drill numbers, counting, and how to play a board game into a kid’s head like no other. Even for K and 1st grade it’s helpful because every board space is numbered, all the way to 100, which reinforces the higher numbers.
2. Alphabet Bingo: Now that Dan knows most of his letter sounds, this is perfect. We don’t call letters by their name, but by their phonetic sound, which makes for a quick transition to reading.
3. Popsicle Number Puzzles: Aunt Amy created a pre-school kit that is mega, mega wowza. Both littles love the craft stick-puzzle activity the best; I mean now that they’ve used up all of the sticker shapes. Here is the kit:

Here’s the WOWZA KIT! Dan and JD LOVE it. Their fave: She took 10 craft sticks, glued a photo onto them and then cut them apart and numbered the sticks. You can line up the numbers and the picture…..pic to come soon!

Big thank you to Luke!

Alan was privileged to go fishing in Big Sur with his friend Luke last week. If any of you are dying for ling cod, stop by, and we’ll give you a few fillets from our freezer. Alan caught the maximum allowable amount. Alan rarely does anything like this, so I can’t tell you how excited we were for him.

ling (?) cod

Big Sur area

Update on the back drama:

I have this ongoing hip, shoulder, lower back, and finger tip pain problem. Well, actually my fingers aren’t in pain. They are just sensitive to the touch, and I have trouble with fine motor movements. Plus, I get these random low fevers that only stay 24 hours (thankfully) and then go, but that’s been happening for a year now.

I still say I have psoriatic arthritis. I have ALL the symptoms, except for “sausage fingers”. I just haven’t asked my doctor about it, which I need to do.

Anyway, whether it is just a mechanical issue from always using all the wrong muscles or an arthritis issue, either way EXERCISE helps.

The only catch? I’m out of the exercise habit. I still walk daily, but that’s about it.

Enter physical therapy round #2. I’m very happy with my PT team, Ryan and Jesus. Yes, that’s Spanish, so it’s pronounced Hayseuss. I asked him if anyone ever calls him “Jesus” (pronounced the English way). He said, “No,” and I don’t think he laughed. Ha! I told him that just means he’s never been to the South because I know plenty of folks back where I’m from that do not know the Spanish pronunciations of anything.

I still laugh when I think of one family member calling queso, “queso,” pronounced the English way, at a Mexican restaurant.

Okay. Sorry. I got off topic. My point was two-fold:

#1. It will make their lives easier to know at least a little Spanish, so I do think that’s important for children raised in America.

and

#2. I’m hoping my chronic back pain issues will continue to get better as I go through my second round of physical therapy. It’s a terrible thing to pop Advil all the time. (Don’t worry. I typically only take a couple/day.)

It’s bed time that bothers me most. Who can sleep with an unhappy hip or back?

Don’t worry about me, though. Most of the time I’m so busy I don’t even notice it, and if I would take better care of myself, this would improve.

Which brings me to next year…..

We are now 8 months out from our next big move. We aren’t 100% sure where we are going, but we think we will be headed right back to where we came from. I’m researching the schooling possibilities, and this may come as a shock to some of you, so hold onto your seats:

I do not plan to home school the boys next year. I will explain more in a far-in-the-future blog post. I’m thankful I got to do this. It has been so ridiculously hard, but it’s also enlightening.

I have been forced to better discipline my children, and of course, that’s always a work in progress. They are people, after all.

I have had to prioritize deeply. I often scold myself for not doing things I would like to be doing, but the fact is that it just wasn’t a priority. The priority was educating and promoting character growth in my boys.

These boys are my charges. It is my duty to lay down everything else, if need be, to ensure that these boys are raised properly. Alan and I take responsibility for the kind of character that they are or are not developing. Even when I’m not home schooling, that will still be our responsibility as parents. 

I’m continuing to read all I can get my hands on about home schooling and learn from other moms who have done this before me! I may do it again, other years, as needed. Meanwhile, it gives me a great feeling of sweet relief to know that I have several options for next year. It makes the next 8 months feel more doable!

God has provided for me each step of the way, and I see His miraculous work in my life everyday. Some people say there are no more miracles. I guess I am ignorant as to why they say that. I hope no one ever informs me because I still see miracles happening, every single time that I see God intervening in my life. To me, that is a miracle.

I hope you all have a miraculously fabulous week.

…6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.                            Philippians 4:6-7

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”    Colossians 3:15

The post A Quiet House, Thankfulness, and Sweet Relief appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

I can’t believe that frumpy looking mom is me. This is not me. Oh, but it is…oh, but it is.

I don’t know about you, but life definitely goes in cycles for me. I have phases where I’m like, “I got this,” and I wear make-up everyday, exercise regularly, smile at people, have feelings of happiness, and spend time socializing as well as time taking care of home and family. Okay. Well, things are never really all THAT perfect, but I definitely have phases where I am taking way better care of myself than I am right now.

This is not that phase.

This is a learning new things everyday, flying by the seat of my pants phase. We moved across the country and took on home-schooling our four boys for the first time this year. I’m way behind on lesson plans, blogging, housework, and pretty much everything.

My primary focus has been teaching and toddler care, and that just hasn’t left me much time to take care of myself.

I rarely wear make-up. I never exercise. Some days I don’t really even get dressed–not really.

*gasp* the horror!

My eyebrows have not been properly plucked since the road trip in June. That was also my last pedicure. There is one dot of polish left on each of my big toes.

Shake my head.

My wardrobe? Well, I think I wear this t-shirt at least twice/week. It’s a 5K participant t-shirt from 2012. Only I certainly haven’t been running any 5Ks lately…

I was telling my friends at Bible study this week, it’s time for me to become more self-disciplined about going to bed earlier, so that I can wake up earlier. Waking up at 7:15 doesn’t cut it around here.

I don’t completely apologize for letting myself become the grungy homeschool Mom.

For the past few months, I NEEDED to focus on getting my school and my house in order. I only arrived here two weeks before I started our school, and I was not able to spend the summer preparing due to shipping issues. I did what I had to do.

Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

² A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³ A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴ A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵ A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶ A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷ A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸ A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

⁹ What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

¹⁰ I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

¹¹ He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

¹² I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

¹³ And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

******

So I’m not going to beat myself up about my current “down to earth”, “laid back” look. However, now that the garage is completely organized, and the school and house are becoming more routine, it’s time to turn my attention to what I’ve been neglecting: me.

I’ve discussed before that when I don’t exercise and rest properly, I have serious back issues. More specifically, I have chronic joint pain. My flare ups started again in 2012, after another phase of self-neglect (Alan’s deployment). A combination of exercise and going to a good chiropractor, helped me to get the joint pain under control. I’ve mentioned that before.

Last week, my shoulder and hip really threw a fit, and I decided it was time to figure out what is causing all this. I got online and made a list of every single one of my symptoms: joint pain on only one side of my body, psoriasis of the fingernails, occasional fevers, and fatigue. It popped up a short list, and I read through until I came across one that sounded EXACTLY like a match. I’d never heard of it before: psoriatic arthritis.

I read a few different web articles on this autoimmune disorder, and it fit my condition perfectly.

Here’s a website reference for the curious:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/psoriatic-arthritis/basics/definition/con-20015006

Thankfully, I do not have psoriasis on my skin, just on a few of my fingernails. My poor fingernails didn’t have a chance because I get really cold, and when I do I get no circulation to my nails because I also have Raynaud’s disease, another autoimmune disorder. Apparently, if you have one autoimmune issue, it’s common to have more than one. Bleh.

Are you wondering what psoriasis of the fingernails looks like on a 33-year-old? Well, here you go:

nail psoriasis

Don’t say,”ew.” Then I might feel really sad.

Groan. And all this stuff says that if you don’t get the psoriatic arthritis under control, it will cause permanent damage to your joints. And yet, it’s incurable. Lovely.

So what’s my action plan? You know I enjoy setting goals:

1. On Monday, call the infamous appointment line to see if I can get a real person to answer my call and make me an appointment. Military clinics. Oh my goodness, those poor, poor people who thought they wanted the government to run their health care…I’ve tried twice already and failed to get anyone to call me back and make me an appointment.

2. Go to bed by 11pm at the latest so I can wake up by 6:30 and go walking in the morning.

3. Wake up by 6:30, and go walk.

4. Make a spa appointment. Yes, spa. It’s been 6 months since I had eyebrows fixed, pedicure, or a hair cut, so I think that’s fair. I may even spring for the massage.

5. Make a chiropractor appointment.

6. Make a dental appointment. Ugh.

Okay, that’s a lot. I probably won’t get all of that done this week, but it’s something to aim for.

Update: I am so thankful I started this back in 2016.

I was wrong about the psoriatic arthritis I had diagnosed myself with. A cardiologist helped me alter my diet and find out the problems were related, but they were not what I thought they were.

I found out that it was eating gluten causing my nails to look that gross. Now that I do not eat gluten, my nails are clear. PLUS, I no longer need a chiropractor or physical therapy. My body does not hurt anymore.

Of course, I’m not carrying around heavy babies anymore either. I wish you could see how much healthier I am now. It is amazing. So yes!! Take care of yourself! Investigate when something seems wrong.

For more on the celiac battle and realizations, see this post.

If you have the gene for celiac, you can develop it at any point in your life. A stressful life phase can switch that gene on, which is what happened to me. People are.meant to do EVERYTHING themselves.

The time to take care of yourself again is now!

The post Frumpy Momma: Why It’s Time to Start Taking Care of Myself Again appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.