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Why it is So Important to Focus on the Big Picture Rather than Our Daily Difficulties

aprilmomoffour — Fri, 18 Sep 2015 20:22:42 +0000

Oh, Daniel, you ARE Buzz Lightyear.

Today the boys and I had to walk all the way to the mini-mart, which is all of 1/2 a mile.

I put JD in the double jogger, that way I could put the milk I needed in the empty seat. How did we let ourselves run completely out of milk? Families of six cannot do such a thing!

I didn’t let anyone ride bikes, so Caleb ran most of it. One of Daniel’s biggest wishes is to beat Caleb in a race. Sometimes we try to rig races for him, by giving him a drastic head start, but it’s tough.

Daniel is a slightly short, far wiser than his years, four-year-old. This boy is an athletic, determined, do-it-myself, brownie cooking, tricycle-riding, Bible verse quoting, mouthy little POWERHOUSE. He is the mitochondria of California. I do not exaggerate.

(Excuse the science joke. It was cell week.)

But Daniel doesn’t see himself that way. He has no idea.

As he runs down that side-walk, boldly telling himself that he WILL catch up with Caleb, only to be passed by Joshua from way far behind, he just crumbles.

He whines. He cries, “Mom! He passed me.”

The pure competitiveness and ambition of it all! How I adore him, and no matter how many times (per day) that this scene must repeat itself, he tries again.

We can see the very circumstances that frustrate him gradually molding him into this strong, determined, and resilient person.

But Daniel didn’t see it that way.

He just wanted to WIN. He just wanted to SHOW ‘EM!

I just smiled, and I reassured him that he is extremely fast, ever so much faster than a normal four-year-old. And it’s not that he’s little. It’s just that he’s YOUNG, and one day he WILL beat them sometimes.

Daniel smiled, “Really?” Off he went like a rocket, only to crumble a few minutes later because “Caleb took a short-cut, and now I’ll never catch up.”

Then his shoe fell off–one house down from finally arriving safely back to our driveway. Sigh.

Life is exciting but hard.

I convinced him to climb into the double stroller because we were so close to home. The seat was still empty because the mini-mart, much to my dismay, was completely out of every single kind of milk.

I don’t know how to fully express to Daniel how incredible he is, and yet he will always measure himself against his older brothers, a ludicrous measurement, considering the current difference in their ages. That difference won’t count for much at all in fifteen years, so hang in there, Daniel!

Another great athletic achievement for Daniel. He started at the top of the slide-less slide and walked his way down ever so carefully.

This made me think of God and people.

We look all around. We strive and we fret and we whine just like Daniel. We want to know why we can’t be as fast as this guy or as successful as this other lady, but God doesn’t see it that way. We get discouraged because we can’t do things as well as we’d like to do, but God doesn’t see it that way.

He sees the big picture, just as I can see more of Daniel’s big picture than Daniel can.

Having these big brothers to compete with is TRULY making Daniel greater. He pushes himself harder than he would otherwise. He sticks up for himself fiercely. He overcomes short-comings QUICKLY so that he can keep up with those boys.

Daniel is becoming a driven, confident, self-assured man. It doesn’t matter if he never catches up with his brothers in stature. He is building an incredible character, and I get to watch it happen.

It happens to us, too. We just have to take our eyes off what we can’t do, and fix our eyes on God. With God, we can do ANYTHING. We will grow not in size (hopefully), but in character, just like Daniel. We can hone the talents that God has put in each of us into something beautiful. We can over come our short-comings to produce a more fruitful life, a life that benefits more than just ourselves.

For just a moment today, I gloried in the thought of focusing on the BIG picture, not just the trees in front of me.

We need to look at ourselves the way that we look at our children.

Still growing! We might even grow the most from the very circumstances that make us cry!

Me, at the “Ninja Warrior Playground”

For example, I have no idea how to delegate, and there are only 24 hours in each day, so I can’t have a blog that makes money anymore……

No, let’s replace that idea with this one:

This year I’ve decided to spend more time on teaching, learning to be a better teacher, healing my back, and getting out, both with and without my boys. So now is not the time to do sponsored posts or make any money at all. But I am well provided for, so that’s okay. I will work back to that another day, just not today.

“You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!”

–Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

Can you do monkey bars with one broken wrist, like Joshua? Go, Joshua, go!

I hope you all have a great weekend. I hope one day you and Daniel both get to win. We all just need to endure the training first.

The post Why it is So Important to Focus on the Big Picture Rather than Our Daily Difficulties appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Pre-Birth Jitters: Too Excited to Sleep at Night!

aprilmomoffour — Sun, 26 May 2013 19:31:00 +0000

Too Excited to Sleep

I have the worse pre-birth jitters ever!!! This is so crazy and ridiculous, but for about a week now I have been too excited to go to sleep at night!!

I’ve been having to take naps when Dan does in order to finish out my day, but then when it’s time to go to bed, forget it. I’m not uncomfortable. I’m not one of these that makes constant trips to the facilities.

I just lie there and think about:

– “What will we do if I go into labor early?”

–“What will we do if something is wrong with the baby?”

—“What all do I need to do before the baby comes?”

—-“Do I have everything I need for the baby?”

—–“Will Daniel be okay going on vacation without me?” (of course, he will)

—–“What will we do if I go into labor before my parents get here? Who will keep Daniel overnight? How stressed out will that make Daniel?”

——“What if I get sick yet again? I’m so tired of being sick.”

—-“What fun activities can Joshua and Caleb do this summer besides VBS?”

—–“When will I be fully capable of taking care of all of my children again, after the baby comes?”

…..Does it seem like I focus too much on Daniel?

It’s just that the older two are big enough to understand what’s going on better, and I’m afraid Daniel will feel scared and alone without me.

Toddlers and babies need their mommies in a way that is hard to explain, you know? I have been “the world” to all of them. I’m still really important to Joshua and Caleb, and you’re never too old to need your mother. Yet at the same time, one of the points of parenthood is to raise children to not need you desperately forever, so the older the child, the more time away from Mommy they can handle.

Caleb is five, and he is still highly attached, which I honestly rather enjoy. I do. I shamelessly love the attention. He’s precious, and even Caleb needs me less and less with each year. I can see it.

At our old church, Caleb wouldn’t go to his own Sunday school class. He preferred to go with me to my class. When we started at our new church, he no longer had that problem, but went willingly into his Sunday school class alone.

That was a battle I didn’t feel was needful to fight. He wanted to be with his mom at church. Well, why shouldn’t he be with me at church? To this day, he insists on going to “big church” with us. It drives us crazy sometimes b/c he can be SO WIGGLY, but really he isn’t bothering anyone, and he can learn about God just as well with us as he can with other littles.

I’ve noticed a change with school too.

Caleb started full time kindergarten this year. In the beginning of the school year, he constantly asked me to come eat lunch with him at school, which I did quite often. It made him so happy to share that with me. It’s been months now since he’s asked me to do that. He doesn’t even hug me before he walks in at the beginning of the day unless I insist!

Every morning I faithfully walk both boys to school, while I push Daniel in his stroller. We live exactly 1/2 mile, from our house to the drop-off area. Sometimes they run ahead of me into school, but Joshua ALWAYS stops short of going inside, until I have caught up and given him his morning hug. Little Caleb just plunges right into the building, leaving me in the dust. I’m so thankful Joshua waits!!!

Alan tried to get the boys to do push-ups with him before church this morning. Joshua gave it a shot, but Caleb was less enthusiastic.

I think the boys have had a lot of fun this weekend. Right now they are out on the boat with Daddy, all except Daniel. He’s upstairs sleeping.

They have also enjoyed getting in lots of trampoline time and ball time. Joshua was delighted to discover that he can kick his big blue bouncy ball all the way up onto the roof…….which he did over and over and over again.

By the way, I’m a house.:

35 1/2 weeks!

and notice the arrival of the “sway back” of pregnancy as well.

Only THREE weeks left! I can’t stop thinking about it!! I’m not in as big a hurry as I usually am though. All I can think about is all the stuff I want to get done before the big birthday!

Actual quotes from people I run into:

little girl at church last week: “Why are you so fat?”

That wouldn’t have annoyed me so much, if her mother had at least apologized or told the child, “No, no she’s not fat. She has a baby in her belly, or something.” Instead, she pretty much just stood there.

That’s okay though. My friends here have all been so sweet and supportive. There’s not a single person I have to avoid.

For my last pregnancy there was this cashier at Sonny’s, a restaurant that Nonna and I liked to frequent, who was so obnoxious in her remarks and facial expressions about my size that I used to live in dread of seeing her. And yet I kept on eating there! I mean how many places can you find fried green tomatoes on the buffet!?

One last Update

I shared recently that we have read Shepherding a Child’s Heart. Awesome book. One thing the author teaches is the importance of making sure your children know Ephesians 6:1-3. We’ve taught that to our children before, but I felt it was time for REVIEW!

I have been making them say it to me once every single day this week.

Don’t be a doubter. It has made a HUGE difference. You should hear Joshua saying “Yes ma’am” and “yes sir.” (Of course, he also, for reasons unknown to me, is hoping this will help him get more allowance….???? That wasn’t in the book….) His attitude has been SO MUCH better though.

The book reiterates the importance of only using consequences for disobedience, not for childish behavior that just gets on your nerves.

I thought this was a great point.

He mentions that the point of good parenting is not to have kids that become self-righteous because they can keep all the rules or kids that act quiet in public, making all the onlookers happy. The point is to have obedient children of good character who know WHY they are being obedient and have a desire to please God, not just people.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ²“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3

I’m off to take a NAP! That’s one reason God made Sundays!!

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