This month I turned 36 years old. That sounds so weird to me, so I took a good hour to sit down and think about things I like about being 36 and also things I have learned.

Some of these are memories I love that I have, some are lessons that I’ve learned, and some are just good sense. And I can combine that many different things because after all, it is my list.

Mom and me. Due to the fire, I only have a handful of photos from my childhood. I found this one in a box in my living room. Thankfully, Mom had made us a box of old photos a few years ago.

1. I was there for the 80s…granted I was too young to understand it, but by golly I was there.

2. Free range childhood. No one used the word play date back then.

3. Swinging from vines in the forest.….That was part of the free range childhood.

4. 3 major bicycle injuries under my belt….Okay 1 was roller skates…There was the time my failed bike-stunt attempt resulted in me riding my bicycle up the front door, the time I flew downhill straight into a fence, and then the time I thought I could do some Nancy Kerrigan jumps in roller skates. Yeah. Lots of bleeding.

5. I’ve learned that People DO change with their life circumstances. For example, alphabetizing and re-alphabetizing, categorizing and re-categorizing my book collection…….That used to be me. Now I just shove them onto shelves. I can’t find any of my books at all, but the older I get the more responsibilities I have, and there is not time for perfecting. Priorities change.

6. The older I get, the less I care about what anyone thinks of me. (Mostly, no one’s thinking about me anyway!) If you are going to have a blog, you have to let go of that mess.

7. I’ve given birth 4 times, but actually that didn’t make me invincible or super-tough. It just means I’ve experienced a lot of things that can go wrong with child-birth, and I now know that all that matters in the end is delivering the baby safely. That’s right. Your birth plan does not impress me. Your living baby impresses me.

8. I finally know how to tame my own hair. 

First, I use a shampoo + conditioner twice. THEN I use conditioner. Whatever I do after that doesn’t matter so long as I use a straightening iron. If the air is cold and dry enough, I can skip the straightening.

9. I’ve learned that a degree or a trade of some kind is definitely worth having because life throws unexpected curves, and at some point you are going to need to make some money.

10. Mama Bear syndrome totally applies to humans. Do not mess with my kids. Do not mess with anyone’s children. In fact, there’s a Bible verse about that.

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in My name welcomes Me. 6But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. 7Woe to the world for the causes of sin. These stumbling blocks must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!…       Matthew 18:6-7

11. Having 1 child was a big adjustment. Having 2 children is much more difficult than having 1. Having 3 is way more work than having 2. Having 4 children almost killed me (the stress!), and having 5 children is something I will never be able to tell you about because I hit my medical, emotional, physical, and everything else limit at 4. But I love it. I love every single one of them more than anything in this world, and as far as I am concerned they are perfect. They are my happiest moments and thoughts.

12. I’ve been through depression before, a couple of times, and I now know what works for me to come out of it. The only way I know how to come out of it is to focus on serving other people, open all your blinds/curtains everyday, play upbeat music, pray on your face for help, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And if it gets bad enough, you may have to take antidepressants.  I’ve taken them before, although for me it was actually for anxiety.

sharing my love of sea mammals, boats, and the Pacific Ocean with my children. They loved it.

13. It took me 24 years to realize that what I really wanted to be when I grew up was a mom. Anything else was just a bonus.

14. I’ve sent a husband off to war 3 times, and I know that if I have to, I can do it again. But man, I hope I never have to!

15. No one tells me how young I look anymore, but I’ve made my peace with that.

16. I’m not poor-skinny like I was at 20, but that’s fine. Poor-skinny is when you are underweight, and it’s because you actually are having to save money by eating less food. That’s what I did in college.  Happy people are not poor-skinny because happy people aren’t hungry.

17. I have tried about 5 different kinds of jobs that I didn’t like, but that doesn’t mean I’m flaky. It just means those weren’t my callings. Why live miserable? Move on and try something new.

Caleb and me on the flight out to California 3 years ago.

18. Living all over the country was the hardest thing bout the past 15 years, and yet it was the thing I LOVED most about the past 15 years. Living in a place takes traveling to another level. It gives you understanding of other places and cultures, and the amount that you learn is just mind-boggling.

19. I killed a snake. Sure, it was a tiny snake, but still. I, April, who is terrified of all creepy crawly things, killed a snake because I thought it was necessary to protect my offspring. See, I told you #10 is a very real thing!!

Caleb, creating snow angels in Virginia. He was 6.

20. Virginia got in my blood. Someday I want to go back. I felt like I was with my people there. I can’t explain it.

21. I don’t have to do nursery duty anymore, and that is so freeing for me. I don’t have to spend my entire week dreading Sunday because I know I have nursery duty. My arthritis saved me from signing up for this task that I never liked. I love babies, but nursery duty KILLS me. I am unable to sit in the floor, bend over tedious activities, and the younger the babies the more it hurts my back, my shoulders, my neck, my legs, EVERYTHING to hold them. It used to take me a couple of days just to recover from holding them.

22. My children possess completely different talents than I do, and I’ve learned to appreciate everyone’s different gifts. We learn so much from our children!

23. I love that Jesus saved my whole entire family, and now I’m watching each of my children, one at a time, become believers too.

photo courtesy of Stephanie DuBose

24. I fully embrace celebrations! I love good ol’ American holidays. So what if they’re “commercial”? Have some fun already. Life is short. The only one I have a hard time always embracing is Christmas because it’s so much work, and plane tickets are expensive, but I do it anyway.

I believe you should never be too righteous for fun. Did you know that most of the feasts and holidays set up in the Old Testament were actually invented by God? Celebrate!

25. I’m focusing more on listening to women who are older than me and have already done what I am doing. I have many mentors, and sometimes those mentors have no idea that I think of them as a mentor, but there is so much wisdom to be gained from people who have already done what we’re doing.

26. You can’t beat a mini-van for a family of 6. Sure, giant SUVs are hip, but they guzzle the gas, their doors don’t open with a button, and nothing is as practical or affordable as a mini-van.

27. I stop for garage sales. One should never pay full price for kids’ bicycle helmets, tennis rackets, bunk beds, or board games.

28. Peanut/cashew allergies are terrifying. Sometimes I wonder how he will survive, but then I remember that that’s what Emergency Rooms are for.

29. You know how some people feel about Windex? That it can fix everything? That’s how I feel about Benadryl. Miracle drug.

30. I have now been to Disney World twice and Universal Studios twice. This makes the little girl inside of me beyond happy.

31. Eventually skinny jeans will go out of style. Thank goodness because they are not flattering for me. I rarely wear them.

32. Home schooling: I came, I tried, and I can honestly say that it’s simply not for everyone. 

33. I love that I got to live in California for 2 years and see the incredible beauty that is Big Sur, the Pacific Ocean, Monterey, San Francisco, and sea mammals! I will always cherish my memories of seeing a whale feeding 10 feet off the shore. Splendor.

34. I have 4 boys. That’s definitely not something I’d have never dreamed of in my 20s!!! I can’t tell you the wonder and adventures we are having. I love it. Love, love, love it. And to think, I only had girl names picked out. Ha!

35. My marriage. I’m so thankful we both stuck it out together because our marriage is so much greater now, in our late 30s, than it was in our 20s or our early 30s.

36. I love the things about me that are still young. That’s something to be THANKFUL for. I don’t have to color my hair yet. Menopause is still 10 years off. My freckles help me look young, and I still have my morning energy. Gradually, these things will change, but today they are still mine.

We might as well enjoy life, right? It all goes by so quickly.

We might as well be happy with what we have because it is what we have. The grass may always be greener on the other side. Whatever. That probably just means they spend way too much money on fertilizer, which smells bad anyway!!! So it’s all good.

 
Oh yeah!!!! And in case you missed my most recent Facebook live video, about trying to learn how to use essential oils. Here it is!

Thanks for reading, y’all! Thank you for being a part of my first 36 years! Love y’all!

The post 36 Reasons I Love Being 36 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

So happy: My friend Amy sent me this Anna/Mickey Mouse ornament, as a souvenir of our Disney trip. Love this!

John David asks me one question every single day.

“Mom, are you so happy? I just want you be happy, Mom.”

If I cry, he can’t take it. “No, Mom! I just want you be happy!”

If I get stressed and start rushing around, “Mom, I just want you be happy!”

If he’s in trouble for something, well, if John David gets in trouble for something he does that thing that little kids do that will melt your heart. He sticks out that bottom lip, his face scrunches up, and he cries, and then he says, “I just want you be happy!”

Apparently, it is exceedingly important to this sweet baby that I be happy…..ALL the time.….And that, of course, is pretty much impossible. But I try my best.

Even when JD goes to the potty, I have to be happy. I’m back there wiping his bottom, and he says, “You so happy, Mom? You so happy??”

Ha! Well, that’s what we get for throwing such a party every time he went potty.

But what a great reminder. What a great reminder to take joy even in the time of small things. What a reminder! Be joyful even when you’re wiping up poo…

I don’t look so joyful at cross country meets. There are gnats y’all, and on this particular day it was 104 degrees. Not even exaggerating.  I just stand there with my kids, looking like this. Inviting, huh?

That’s the thing about joy. Being encouraged by other people is so uplifting, but when you walk around looking annoyed, who wants to talk to you? Well, usually nobody.

So we must somehow find a source for joy that does not depend on other people. It’s great to derive joy from your friends, but until you have friends, joy has to be found elsewhere.

I’ve been searching the scriptures for joyful ideas.

This was a recent yard sale find that I was excited about. YES, GOD WILL!

We can take joy in the promises, provisions, and love of God.

Maybe find a place to sit outside or by a window and read God’s promises. Turn to the New Testament or Psalms when you are feeling down.

“I rejoice in your promise like one who finds great spoil.”   –Psalm 119:162

“Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.”   –Isaiah 49:13

Nonna, enjoying time with her grandsons

“Announce this with shouts of joy and proclaim it. Send it out to the ends of the earth; say,”The Lord has redeemed his servant Jacob.” They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts; he made water flow for them from the rock; he split the rock and water gushed out.  “There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.”   –Isaiah 48:20-22

Remembering what God has already done keeps your faith and your joy strong.

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.  With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”  –Isaiah 12:2-3

“In the past, he let all nations go their own way. Yet he has not left himself without testimony. He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their season; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.”  –Acts 14:16-17

I can assure you that basketball brings Joshua great joy.

I wish I could send you all a clone of John David, my daily reminder to “just want you to be happy.” He’s so precious. It is hard to stay down when you share your day with one like him, but not all of you are up to taking care of a three-year-old right now. Take heart.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  –John 16:33

It’s true. There was Jesus, who they killed for our transgressions, and by his wounds we are  healed. We are forgiven, if we only ask to be. We are loved. He wants to take care of us.

“A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity…. I say that a stillborn child is better off than he.”            –Ecclesiastes 6:3

Some people may roll their eyes at the need for comfort and happiness, but I think that it’s important to try. As John David says, “I just want you be happy!!”

It did make me “so happy” to see JD make a friend at a cross country meet.

JD’s happy place. Do you have a happy place?

Thank you all so much for following my blog. It is a great encouragement to know that I have people, no matter how many times I move, I have people right here. Thank you!! You are a blessing to me. Have a joy-filled week!

The post “Are you so happy, Mom?” appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Well, if you have it, then you know, and if you don’t, I’m sure you have your own problems. Ha! No, I just mean that I found this video that explains well what we are doing for my hip pain. (I do live in fear of sitting. Sitting hurts.)

I still have to do one more MRI to check for inflammation in my SI joint, but for now, we’re going with the theory that all of my problems are mechanical.

Meanwhile, my physical therapist and my chiropractors have told me that my pelvis has a lateral tilt. My PT says that the left side is usually “way higher” than my right. He even taught me how to even it back out, so just in case any of you share this problem, which they say is common, I wanted to share this video with you all.

Perhaps if I do this everyday, I could stomp out this pain in my rear altogether:

This makes a lot of sense. I’ll try anything to be able to take a car trip!

I’ve been going to so many doctor appointments, tests, etc., etc. Getting actual answers keeps getting postponed, though.

Last night, I was standing in the kitchen, and BAM! It felt like my right shoulder was on fire. It was intense. Then today I couldn’t turn my neck to the right. Then the same thing happened to my husband, but on his opposite shoulder! Weird! I hardly slept last night. It hurt all night long. Alan slept well, but his shoulder still bothered him during the day today too. We are a pitiful bunch.

I’ve had tons of x-rays at this point, though, and I can tell you that they are clean. I have beautiful, happy bones. My rheumatologist says that I do not have an autoimmune disorder, which is good. Although, actually, psoriasis is an autoimmune disorder in and of itself, but I guess he didn’t think that one counts.

Yesterday, I was feeling down about the whole, “What in the world is wrong with me??  I’ll never get to take my kids to Disneyland,” thing.

This morning I drove all the way to my cardiologist appointment, only to find that the doctor was at the hospital. I rescheduled with his physician’s assistant. I liked her anyway, so no heart test results for me until next month.

I used my surprise free time to drive to the beach and think and pray and watch people try to surf on tiny waves.

I have so much to be thankful for! My friends have been so insanely supportive. McKenzie baked me gluten-free bread. Joy bought me the most delicious loaves from Costco. Cassie has been so encouraging. Hillary brought us dinner. Alan’s friends brought us a bread maker to borrow. My Classical Conversations mom friends have prayed over me. I feel so loved!!

Do you know what I was reminded to do today? Have fun! When did I stop doing things just for fun? I’ve decided I need more happy in my life. Our nanny, Analise, always opens all our blinds and curtains. I was amazed at the difference in mood that it creates!

Here are a few simple ways to create happiness:

-opening windows, or just the blinds and curtains

-listening to music

-taking walks, even better, taking walks with friends

-taking the boys to the park

-buying and reading a magazine that you love (I chose Glamour. Next up: Vogue!)

-talking to a good friend or your mom on the phone

-doing something fun with the kids

So I took the boys swimming today. I couldn’t swim with my spontaneous shoulder injury, but it was still rewarding. I got in with them.

I think it’s time to stop worrying about what is wrong with me and just get back to doing my job, but with more music and more happiness. I’m not promising anything about the messy house, though. That’s a side effect of the homeschooling. We’ll be tidier once that’s over.

The post The Fear of Sitting Down and Little Tricks for Bringing Happy Back appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The other day, as I dug through the books on my shelves, I came across a book I have thought of a lot lately, a book like no other.

It’s the little book of Poetry, written by my grandmother, BHK. We’ll call her Beth. Beth died when I was 16, of breast cancer. Her death was one of those that didn’t sit well with anyone. No one said, “Well, it was just her time to go.”

Everyone was more like, “Why did she have to go so soon?”

It was Christmas, and she was only 56. You see, that’s another reason some of us have never been the same on Christmas. There’s more to our Charlie Brown-ness than just commercialism.

To make it worse, Christmas was HER THING. No, really. She owned Christmas, I tell you. She made such a display of decorating her house that she won town awards.

(I’m going to do that this year, too, Grandma! I’m going all out!)

senior portrait

Beauty was her gift. Beautiful Beth. She had a house full of beautiful ceramics, all created by Beth, all perfectly arranged and well kept. Her closet was full of hand-made clothes, mostly dresses. She was prissy, frilly, sarcastic, and fun. Sitting down with a good book, a glass of un-sweet tea, and a cigarette, that’s how we’ll always picture her.

You won’t believe me when I tell you this, but by the time I was born, she wore false eye lashes every single day, and perfume. I used to stand in her bathroom for 30 minutes at a time, just gazing at the fantastic display of Avon perfumes, tiny ceramic pitchers and people, and her unmatched and always tidy collection of make-up.

Grandpa used to jokingly imitate her answering the phone saying, “Hello, this is Beth,” in THE most feminine voice you can imagine.

I loved her so. I often have thought about what it was that made me love her as much as I did, and I think part of it was because she was purposeful in spending time with us. We spent a week at her house each summer, and she would play board games with us kids for hours. She and our grandpa took us to the beach, to Six Flags, to the zoo, to movies, and thrift store shopping. From MawMaw (another name that we called her) I learned the fine art that is bargain hunting.

She used to write me letters, and I would write her back. I kept all of them. I’d love to come across those! She kept my letters too, so I also have those now.

She knew how to get along well with people. She was accepting.

Oh! And did I mention her vast collection of books! Well, obviously, she spoke the language of my heart! There were even times when she owned little book stores, but always there was her downstairs library, wall to wall with books. And scrapbooks! I think we counted about 198 scrapbooks.

At 4 foot 10, or was it 11, I hate how memories fade, she was the first grown-up that any of us kids caught up to.

The year she died was the same year that she announced to us that she had breast cancer, but by then, she’d already had it for two years. She had kept it a secret. I cannot imagine how. I never could, but by the time we found out, it had already moved to her bones. She was eaten up with it. It was only a couple of months after she broke the cancer news to us that she was gone.

We spent that Christmas vacation a couple of hours from home, so Mom could be by her side. We slept at my aunt’s house. I still remember the overwhelming heart break of the visitation service the evening before the funeral.

I sat in a chair near the casket, sixteen years old, losing one of the pillars of my life. I couldn’t take my mind off all the people around me making small talk about the weather. I was suffocating in my thoughts, and I just wanted to make them all be quiet or go away. How could they talk so carelessly? I could barely breathe, and when I couldn’t take it another minute, I ran out to my parents’ minivan, climbed inside, closed the doors, and bawled alone.

I don’t know how any of them figured out that I was there, but one by one, my brother, my mother, and my father all came out and sat in the van with me.

And it turned into one of the sweetest, most comforting moments in my life. There is something about sharing grief with the people who know, who get it, who have lost as much as you have. There is something about it that bonds you like glue and heals hurts deep inside.

I remember saying that I just couldn’t get past the fact that they were going to bury her, my dear little grandma, into the ground. I could not stand the thought of her being put down there and covered with dirt.

“Oh, April. That’s just her body. That’s nothing to her. Her spirit is in Heaven. She is with God, and we will see her again. That’s just her body. Don’t worry about that.”

I don’t remember what else was said, but for some reason, in the midst of my very first great loss, these were the words that I needed to hear. Even more so, I needed the comfort of sitting in the van, just me and the three most important people in my life.

But I’m not going to share this heart-rending story with you, and leave you feeling sad. I would never do that. You know I wouldn’t.

Here is one of my favorite little passages from Beth’s book of poetry. It isn’t a poem. Just wise words from a much loved sinner turned saint.

MY SECRET FOR HAPPINESS

I have a secret for happiness I’d like to share with you.

When you awake in the morning, think of three things you are looking forward to. Remember life’s simple pleasures are often best. They don’t have to be big occasions.

When you retire at night, reflect on three good things about that day.

You’re sure to smile and be happy.               by BHK

Try her suggestion, I dare you.

The post My One of a Kind MawMaw and Her Secret for Happiness appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The biggest change of the year for me has been that I’m so busy with people who I can actually see that I can no longer keep my blog updated or read my Facebook feed. My online life–Is that a thing??– is seriously taking a hit!

Yes, I still go on Facebook to check my messages, so I still see the “top story” or two, but that’s about it.

Last year, I spent so much time alone in the house with the boys that I actually began to think that I preferred to live that way. I shied away from people. I began to believe I wasn’t a “people person,” but I think I was just lonely.

It wasn’t great for my kids either. They missed their friends, and their lack of new friends to replace the old ones made the move so much harder.

While I do miss blogging more regularly, I’m remembering that not having time to spend on the internet is a HEALTHY problem to have. Being friends with real, live people is VITAL.

Here’s why:

#1. People you can SEE can actually HELP you with your problems.

Writing was something I needed to do last year to process the major changes that my family was going through: moving across the country, Alan enrolled in graduate school, and I began teaching my own children.

Sharing my thoughts was therapeutic, and that is a positive thing. However, no matter how much or little that internet friends can empathize or even identify with my problems, they  can’t DO much to help.

That reminds me of that Bible verse:

“Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” Proverbs 27:10

I’m not knocking our brothers, sisters, and friends that are far away. We do realize that, in our case, Alan and I are the ones who moved to the land of far, far away.

Here’s Daniel, having fun in our Far Away Land.

#2. Instant gratification is super-fun.

Sometimes something so important happens to me that I want to shout it to the world, so I go online, and I do so. I post it on Facebook, or I write about it on my blog.

And then I wait.

Did anyone comment? Did anyone like it? Who???

Yes! “I got 10 likes and 2 comments!” Such sad little feelings of social media joy.

You have to wait for them, and if you post at the wrong time of day, maybe all the wrong people saw it, so no one gives you that warm, fuzzy, “Girl, I know exactly what you mean! Me too!”

………But that doesn’t happen with REAL LIVE PEOPLE! You know right away if they laughed or not! They quickly can say, “Yeah, but what about….” and you don’t take it the wrong way because you can hear the inflection in their voice.

I love the instant gratification of talking to a visible person.

#3. You know who they are.

The average Facebook post may get you 20 likes, but 20 more of your friends didn’t like it. Why didn’t they like it? Are they just anti-like-button? If they don’t like anything we say, why are they still our friends?

I think many of you just never mash that button. I’m always taken by surprise when a real-life friend says to me, “Oh, I liked what you said on your blog about yada yada yada,” and I had never even known they read my blog.

How encouraging to learn that they actually DO read it! Thank you, friends!

But when you are communicating with VISIBLE people, you KNOW these things. You know who you are talking to, so you can refrain from saying something that will not make any sense at all to this person. You can keep it relevant.

You can save the pictures of your 3rd birthday for when you know each other a little better. (Thanks again, Aunt Linda..  😉  No, I’m kidding. I totally don’t care.)

It really does drive me a little nuts sometimes to never know who I’m talking to online. I don’t mind the total strangers, but if I post to Facebook, and my blog tells me “45 Facebook referrals,” I can’t help it. I want to know which of my friends read it.

But I’ll never know.

See this would not happen in real life. We always know WHO we are speaking to.

#4. The thrill of being out! The joy of walking around in the sun and smiling at others!

How do you replicate that online?

#5. Attractive people

What is it about the pretty people? We lose a lot of that online, as we talk behind our anonymity, and I’m thankful for that, when I’m sitting here in my messed up hair and pajamas.

But don’t you love it when you’re out, and you get to talk to the pretty people? Beauty is inspirational, and that is not limited to nature or stuff. People can be so lovely that they inspire us too! People are both outwardly and inwardly inspiring!

How great is it when you see a lady all dressed to the nines, with perfect hair, make-up and pearls? I love pearls. I’m inspired, and when the lady is also KIND, her beauty factor goes up exponentially.

My friend Laura was wearing the most beautiful, chunky strand of pearls at church this morning, and it made me happy just to see it. Also, Laura is from Kentucky, and I thought, “Man, we Southern women are FANTASTIC. We rock. Look at those jewels. Beautiful!”

And then there’s that feeling you get when the handsome man smiles at you.

For 5 seconds, we can all be 13 years old.

And no, don’t worry. I do realize I’m married to the handsomest man there is.

And he’s a great smiler.

#6 The Encouragers

We all know people like this. They just have an aura. They can’t help it. They give off happiness. I wish all people could be encouragers. Just standing beside them makes you happier.

They don’t brag. They don’t put on airs. They don’t put others down. They just smile, and you know that they get it, and yet, they are happy. We are all happier, just from meeting them.

That’s a hard thing to transfer to the internet. I’m not sure if it can be done.

#7. The Do-Gooders

Do you remember that neighbor I mentioned last year that was always bringing us food? I got to know her better, and she’s one of these do-gooder-people. She naturally does sweet things for people, and that sort of thing can’t quite be replicated on the interwebbin’.

#8. It is obvious, in person, when people are being sarcastic, funny, or mad.

I have a Facebook friend who once said, “I always come off sounding like I care way more about issues on here than I actually do.”

Our voices are much harder to discern in quick social media comments.

#9. God did not create us to be hermits. He created us with a need for each other. We NEED other people.

I know that I haven’t arrived yet to being fully socially functional in my new home. I know this because I still have unmet needs. I have no babysitter. I need to keep getting out there and rubbing shoulders with others. For most problems we have, there’s a person somewhere who can help us!

I don’t have friends that drop by unannounced and have coffee with me, but I’m getting there gradually. I do now have friends that at least know where I live, and my friend Kim comes over and tutors one of my sons. I love this because I now have a friend who I keep something for in our refrigerator. That’s right, Kim, next time you come, I will very proudly present you with a little pint of half-and-half.

So exciting!

Online friends can’t truly need us, not unless they are so special that we make SURE we text them with our important events. I’m trying to move to that. I’m trying to start selecting the friends that I want to send messages that say things like, “Oh my goodness!! Daniel just scored a goal!!”

I used to just blast that on Facebook because that covers all of those closest to me and then some, but sometimes my closest friends don’t even see that.

(Side note: My biggest problem is that I lost so many cell phones since I moved that I do not have any of my Virginia friends’ numbers in my phone anymore. Virginia friends, could you please text me your numbers!!!)

#10. Real life is more Fun.

I love that I have neighbors who know my children’s names. It makes me so happy to see Daniel with a best friend only two houses down.

The sound of the big boys’ bikes zipping around “the loop” with their friends is pure music to my ears.

What is better than a weekend football party with friends, serving at church with your church family, or watching your children play on the playground with other moms?

Real live people. I am back to the world of real live people. Thank goodness! It is so much more fun.

And of course: #11. Hugs and kisses.

Let’s face it. We all need physical touch. XOXO on a page is simply not the same.

Now, wait just a minute!

With that said, I’m not about to exit blogging or social media. Don’t worry. I’m here to stay. I still love a little time alone. However, I do hope you have noticed. I have cut back from 3 posts/week to 1 or 2 posts/week, just for this season of home-school teaching.

Meanwhile, I am definitely enjoying getting OUT more. I love being out, laughing and joking with people. I LIKE having places to be.

Thank you for sticking by me through the lonely year. I hope you all have a great week, and I hope you all manage to get OUT!

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”    Hebrews 10:24

The post 11 Reasons Personal Interactions are Better than Social Media appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

JD is now a veteran flyer. He took his very first turn on an ipad on this trip. It kept him occupied for all of like ten minutes.

Yes, he insisted on riding the airplane barefoot. He is a boy after my own heart. I will never fully understand you shoe people. 😉 But that’s okay. You can wear your shoes, and we can wiggle our toes freely, and we can all get along just fine.

The boys are now at Alan’s parents’ house. Thank you Nonna and DaddyO! They are playing hard, swimming in Nonna’s great big kiddie pool, watching movies, and having a great summer.

I did leave them each a worksheet to do. One a day. I feel like if they can just do a few math problems and read each WEEKday, my job won’t be too hard when we start school back in the fall. There was a bit of carrying on and agony about this the first couple of days, but they have now accepted it and moved on.

Meanwhile, I’m at the beach with my mom!

I’ve been to beaches all over America and the Caribbean, and this one is still my favorite. I love everything about it, and this weekend has been especially perfect.

It felt like God was smiling down on us.

We’ve had it so good. Mom and I played in these waves for an hour today and an hour yesterday. We swam in the swimming pool. We took walks. We shopped at the outlet mall. We even went thrift store shopping. It has been a ball!

I keep hearing kids yell, “Mom!!” on the beach, and I always instinctively turn around, but what do you know. They aren’t calling for me. I have no responsibilities whatsoever!

It’s so fun, but of course, I miss the boys, and I can’t wait to bring them with me next time.

Mom pointed out this note card on the wall of the condo. We’ve been frequenting this condo forever, but we haven’t gotten to come since 2012. We found this notice, complete with a note from Alan at the bottom of it, from our stay in 2012.

It’s something any parent could understand.

Apparently, we had to buy a few replacement slats that year. That FYI at the bottom is obviously Alan’s handwriting. I wonder if we will have to replace any slats this year. Come on, boys, let’s see how slick you can be, and look out the window without messing up the blinds! I really got a chuckle out of this problem that we apparently dealt with 3 years ago.

And yet, I have almost no memory of that problem whatsoever.

This has been such a refreshing time, just having fun in Destin with my mom. I’m just tickled pink and thankful! Mom needed a vacation just as badly as I did.

By the way, I will always feel like I am truly a Southerner, no matter where I live. But Alan and I can’t seem to convince Southerners that don’t know us of that.

We were on the airplane, and we had a conversation that went like this:

Alabama man on the plane, talking to Alan: Why would you go to Florida, if you live in California?

Alan: Well, we have family here, and …

Me: Oh! Well, Destin is hot!

Lady behind me: Oh, but with the breeze, it’s nice.

(Oops. That’s not what I meant.)

Me: Well, I mean, we’ve been freezing our butts off in California, so we’re looking forward to the hot.

************

Fast forward to Cracker Barrel.

Alan and I ate there on Saturday. While we were there, we purchased a painting that I liked and had it shipped to our house, so we had to give them our address, which made them think we were from California. We tried to explain.

“We’re not really from California, but we live there now.”

We paid and went on our way, and as I was walking away, I heard the cashier tell another worker, “They’re from California. They’re real sweet, though.”

I didn’t turn around and say anything. I’m surprisingly good at biting my tongue.

So here’s what I wanted to say, because I’m not even good at thinking of things to say later. Most people can at least think of what to say later:

“No, really, we’re one of you!! We are so Alabama!”

Or something like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with being from California because California is lovely. It’s just that we’re not, but we are living there, so….. we really do live a confusing life with all this moving!

But Destin is really where it’s at. We love this place.

I am in such an ideal phase right now. I’ve had a relaxing and fun vacation with my mom.

That train wreck of a first year of home schooling is nothing but history. We aren’t giving birth OR moving this year, and these calm waters of summer sure feel like Heaven itself.

4I I sought the LORD, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
5Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
6This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
7The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.

8Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!  Psalm 34:4-8

The post “No, really I’m from here!” One perfect trip South appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

We look super happy in this photo, didn’t we? We were sort of happy, but we were stressed. Alan has enough school and family work to fill his plate, but he does well. I’ve already said a thousand times that the first year of home schooling has been a huge challenge for me.

I was surviving, really. There was more stress than joy in my days. I was living frustrated.

I ran into a mom that I sort of know at Daniel’s tee-ball game two weeks ago. We’ll call her Angel from Heaven. 😉 For short, we’ll just say Angel. Angel has invited me to different things, multiple times. She has made a concerted effort to be my friend. We have a lot in common. She has five kids. I have four. We both home school. We both have pre-teens as well as little ones. Her husband is a chaplain. Alan is not a chaplain, but we do love Jesus. 🙂

Despite all of Angel from Heaven’s best efforts, I stayed at home like a little hermit crab. There was one day that I really WAS going to go to the beach with her and all of our children, but that’s when I came down with bronchitis.

So when she ran into me at tee-ball, excitedly commenting about CC being over for the year, and I replied with, “Oh, we still have 3 weeks of it left, and I’m so ready to be done,” I think she knew I needed encouraging. She invited me to a marriage class that she and her husband are leading. I mentioned it on my post 13 Wonderful Things. 

It was a very successful first class for our whole family.

I can’t tell you how much we needed this! Two hours of just Alan and me–eating out!

Here’s what they taught us that I think made the biggest difference (combined with two good hours to just have dinner with Alan).:

Pray together.

Sure you’ve all heard that. But pray together for each other, everyday. Ask each other, “What’s on your mind right now? How can I pray for you?” Then don’t jump in with a solution. Just listen and then pray for only each other. You can pray about everything and everybody else any other time. 

We’ve prayed together, occasionally, throughout our whole marriage, but we’ve never made a purposeful effort to simply pray for each other, together, every single day.

Now, you know I’m a big believer in prayer. It’s the number one reason my faith in God is unshaken. He’s answered too many of my prayers, in BIG ways, for me to ever doubt him.

I can’t explain it, ya’ll, but this week has not looked like any other week of our school year.

I’m happy! Like actually happy!!! I am not fussing at the children, unless they are fully deserving of it. Ha! 😉 I am not dreading getting out of bed. For the first time in a long while, I’m actually enjoying my days. I let the kids jump a little longer on the trampoline today. I let them watch a movie in the morning. We still got through our planned lessons for the day. We even made cupcakes. 🙂

No, I know; every day won’t be perfect.

God never promised a life of no trouble at all. However, you don’t have to be very old to figure out that all of life goes better for you when you make good choices, put your faith in the right places, and pray.

So even in a week when my computer didn’t want to work, Daniel drew on the walls, the boys played in Poison Oak Woods (without permission), Alan had to dig an under shirt out of the laundry basket, and my face exploded in acne, I am happy as a lark.

Now, I promised you beautiful photos from Carmel Valley.

I love ya’ll. Thanks for reading my blog. 🙂

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”      James 5:16

Carmel Valley

cozy book time with Mommy

Snail!

Poor snail. JD never saw him, and he never saw JD coming. He saw only the blue bottoms of the size 7 Spiderman shoes. Sometimes life ends suddenly…. 🙁

best friends: Buzz and Darth

Daniel and his best friend. We’ll call him Darth. Darth and Dan are just alike, and they are inseparable. Darth is moving in a month, which just breaks my heart for little Dan.

Thankfully, Dan will still have this best friend. Brothers are forever.

Digging through the library book bag

spring in the valley

spring at the ranch–Run, dog, run!

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