I’m going to do these in order of the year and my memory. Most things that happened have been forgotten, of course. But here are 10 happy memories.

#1. The snowed out promotion ceremony

All set for a stressful day at the Pentagon, when SURPRISE, snow buried D.C., and we got to have Alan’s promotion ceremony in the comfort and relaxation of our own home–in the basement, in fact.

I had worked so hard to find all the boys fancy outfits for that day, so I made them wear them anyhow. My friend, and next-door-neighbor Stacie, helped me map out a last minute catering plan, and cooked half of it herself. See, the plan was for a Pentagon restaurant to cater the event. Instead, Stacie and I pooled our resources and had more than enough delicious things to eat.

#2. The BIG announcement I was completely unprepared for

Believe it or not, this one was on the exact same day as the promotion. Or maybe it was the day after it. I’m not sure. Alan’s parents were in town, so Alan decided to take me out for a date night. I suspected nothing. Alan said we could do whatever I wanted, and I wanted to go for a walk in the snow. Alan agreed. I have no idea why I wasn’t suspicious. Most people (other than myself) hate going walking in the snow, and yet he acted like this was exactly the best idea.

We’re walking along a path on Fort Belvoir, and Alan says, “I need to tell you something. My branch manager called me last Thursday, and he told me that he couldn’t tell me anything more but that I’m less than 100 days out from a PCS move.”

No worries. Alan was clearly joking. Such a kidder he is.

But alas, this was no joke. One year after we pulled in to Virginia, we were to pull right back out and move on to the next duty station.

I tried to be cool about it, at least I hope I did, but honestly I was fairly depressed until late March when they finally told us where we were going. Being left hanging in the dark does not sit well with me.

Okay, I do realize I said these were the 10 best memories, but that moment is forever etched in my brain, it came so out of the blue that it goes on the list, whether it was a very happy moment or not. If we learned noting at all from the Disney movie Inside Out, it’s that the blue memories can be equally important as the golden yellow ones.

#3. Being in Hayfield again

This wasn’t just one moment. It was all the moments. I loved sitting with my friends everyday at the “boy mom” table, waiting for our children to get out of school. Walking the neighborhood, stopping to say hello to half a dozen people each time, having coffee with Amy, laughing at Monica’s jokes, cul-de-sac parties by Amy and Betsy’s, having the cops called on us for shooting off fireworks on a non-holiday (so much fun), bonfires at Kevin and Mary Kay’s, and Stacie always helping me with missing ingredients, dog decisions, and life in general. We were all so actively involved in one another’s lives, and that’s what makes Hayfield so fun.

#4. Watching our boys play sports and feel successful

Coach pitch league is just adorable, so watching John David play was a ball. He even turned out to be a much more skilled baseball player than I expected. Daniel made all-star for the first time. He was beyond excited about that. Our oldest continues to excel in basketball, and Caleb gave lacrosse a go. He can almost officially say he’s tried every team sport. I just enjoy watching them try these things out.

#5. The First Truly Fun Beach Trip in About 14 Years

Our youngest child is 6 now. No one needs swim diapers. Only the youngest needs a float, and only two of them constantly ask us to adjust their goggles.

At the beach, they all have better sense than to take off running in the wrong direction. Everyone pretty much stays together. No one fights the sunscreen process. Two of them are now taller and stronger than me and therefore can carry more things.

Basically, everything that used to be SO MUCH WORK for like 30 minutes of sort-of fun, is not bad now. We have turned a serious corner. Everyone got in the water this year too. We had a legitimately wonderful time.

#6. Whole Family Headbanz

While we were at the beach, we had to fill all the middle, super strong-sun hours of the day with indoor activities. Why? Well, because we are pale, and sunburn hurts and is dangerous.

There are not many games, almost zero in fact, that you can find that all 6 of us will want to play. I mean really it’s just that there aren’t many games that Alan and our oldest son will play. The rest of us love the games.

We struck gold with Headbandz. Tons of laughs. Highly recommend.

#7. That afternoon at Gunpowder Falls State Park, Jerusalem Mill Village

I’m sort of a state park addict. I love nature and hiking and walking and seeing historical landmarks. It makes me very happy, so there’s that to begin with. Our children, on the other hand, are often reluctant to go on our excursions. It’s as though touring the entire country from birth to now has worn out their need for adventure. Huh.

That day we discovered that they actually get excited to go if, and only if, we let the dog come too.

Rosie came too, and we had a truly happy day exploring an old Quaker village with a covered bridge and a lovely little waterfall and a short hike.

#8. Our first day in Sunday School here

Sometimes it takes us f-o-r-e-v-e-r to decide on a church to call our own at a new place. Don’t even get me started on this topic. But when we set foot into this Sunday school this time, we were in for a ride.

Usually, our class is full of cookie cutter military families, people exactly like us. Hey, I’m not knocking that. I think being like us is a good thing, obviously. We like who we are.

This class has a few veterans, but no active duty members. And oh my goodness– this crowd was hilarious. They poked fun at each other, they laughed, my face hurt from smiling so much, and then at the end of the class, they all go around person by person and say their current prayer need. It was all so very personal and fun. Almost relaxing, except the teacher might pick on you next, so you stay awake for sure.

We left class, and I said, “Well, that was different…”

Alan said emphatically, “Yeah. It was… it was.. different, and the people were different…”

“Yeah, and yet I enjoyed it.”

“Yeah!”

“Well, I’m glad we agree.”

So we’ve been going to this class ever since.

#9. Seeing my cousin Amber

Long years went by where I didn’t see Amber at all. Usually, when we do see each other, it’s because someone has died, and we are both there for the funeral. I got to see Amber 2 years ago when her mother was in the hospital and then again last year for her mother’s funeral.

It was a breath of fresh air to have Amber visit us this year, and no one had to die. We toured D.C. and New York City, and we had a ball. There’s an extra something special about people you shared your childhood with.

#10. Quiet Thanksgiving at home where I got to make all the food

I had not gotten to cook our Thanksgiving lunch since 2013, and odd as it may sound, it’s something I have been wanting to do. When I cook it myself, I get to make only dishes we eat as a family, the way that they were made when I was a child. That means the cranberry sauce is as it should be, from a CAN. There is dressing, not stuffing. No one has to eat green bean casserole or turkey gravy because I don’t like it, and no one else asked for it. The children don’t spend the morning protesting about leaving their house, and we can all pass out after dinner and not speak to each other for the rest of the day. It’s a beautiful thing, and it made me soooooo happy.

That’s all, folks. What are your best memories from 2019?

The post My 10 Favorite Memories from 2019 appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The other day, as I dug through the books on my shelves, I came across a book I have thought of a lot lately, a book like no other.

It’s the little book of Poetry, written by my grandmother, BHK. We’ll call her Beth. Beth died when I was 16, of breast cancer. Her death was one of those that didn’t sit well with anyone. No one said, “Well, it was just her time to go.”

Everyone was more like, “Why did she have to go so soon?”

It was Christmas, and she was only 56. You see, that’s another reason some of us have never been the same on Christmas. There’s more to our Charlie Brown-ness than just commercialism.

To make it worse, Christmas was HER THING. No, really. She owned Christmas, I tell you. She made such a display of decorating her house that she won town awards.

(I’m going to do that this year, too, Grandma! I’m going all out!)

senior portrait

Beauty was her gift. Beautiful Beth. She had a house full of beautiful ceramics, all created by Beth, all perfectly arranged and well kept. Her closet was full of hand-made clothes, mostly dresses. She was prissy, frilly, sarcastic, and fun. Sitting down with a good book, a glass of un-sweet tea, and a cigarette, that’s how we’ll always picture her.

You won’t believe me when I tell you this, but by the time I was born, she wore false eye lashes every single day, and perfume. I used to stand in her bathroom for 30 minutes at a time, just gazing at the fantastic display of Avon perfumes, tiny ceramic pitchers and people, and her unmatched and always tidy collection of make-up.

Grandpa used to jokingly imitate her answering the phone saying, “Hello, this is Beth,” in THE most feminine voice you can imagine.

I loved her so. I often have thought about what it was that made me love her as much as I did, and I think part of it was because she was purposeful in spending time with us. We spent a week at her house each summer, and she would play board games with us kids for hours. She and our grandpa took us to the beach, to Six Flags, to the zoo, to movies, and thrift store shopping. From MawMaw (another name that we called her) I learned the fine art that is bargain hunting.

She used to write me letters, and I would write her back. I kept all of them. I’d love to come across those! She kept my letters too, so I also have those now.

She knew how to get along well with people. She was accepting.

Oh! And did I mention her vast collection of books! Well, obviously, she spoke the language of my heart! There were even times when she owned little book stores, but always there was her downstairs library, wall to wall with books. And scrapbooks! I think we counted about 198 scrapbooks.

At 4 foot 10, or was it 11, I hate how memories fade, she was the first grown-up that any of us kids caught up to.

The year she died was the same year that she announced to us that she had breast cancer, but by then, she’d already had it for two years. She had kept it a secret. I cannot imagine how. I never could, but by the time we found out, it had already moved to her bones. She was eaten up with it. It was only a couple of months after she broke the cancer news to us that she was gone.

We spent that Christmas vacation a couple of hours from home, so Mom could be by her side. We slept at my aunt’s house. I still remember the overwhelming heart break of the visitation service the evening before the funeral.

I sat in a chair near the casket, sixteen years old, losing one of the pillars of my life. I couldn’t take my mind off all the people around me making small talk about the weather. I was suffocating in my thoughts, and I just wanted to make them all be quiet or go away. How could they talk so carelessly? I could barely breathe, and when I couldn’t take it another minute, I ran out to my parents’ minivan, climbed inside, closed the doors, and bawled alone.

I don’t know how any of them figured out that I was there, but one by one, my brother, my mother, and my father all came out and sat in the van with me.

And it turned into one of the sweetest, most comforting moments in my life. There is something about sharing grief with the people who know, who get it, who have lost as much as you have. There is something about it that bonds you like glue and heals hurts deep inside.

I remember saying that I just couldn’t get past the fact that they were going to bury her, my dear little grandma, into the ground. I could not stand the thought of her being put down there and covered with dirt.

“Oh, April. That’s just her body. That’s nothing to her. Her spirit is in Heaven. She is with God, and we will see her again. That’s just her body. Don’t worry about that.”

I don’t remember what else was said, but for some reason, in the midst of my very first great loss, these were the words that I needed to hear. Even more so, I needed the comfort of sitting in the van, just me and the three most important people in my life.

But I’m not going to share this heart-rending story with you, and leave you feeling sad. I would never do that. You know I wouldn’t.

Here is one of my favorite little passages from Beth’s book of poetry. It isn’t a poem. Just wise words from a much loved sinner turned saint.

MY SECRET FOR HAPPINESS

I have a secret for happiness I’d like to share with you.

When you awake in the morning, think of three things you are looking forward to. Remember life’s simple pleasures are often best. They don’t have to be big occasions.

When you retire at night, reflect on three good things about that day.

You’re sure to smile and be happy.               by BHK

Try her suggestion, I dare you.

The post My One of a Kind MawMaw and Her Secret for Happiness appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

roommate reunion: Jason, Heather, Asher, and me

On day four of our vacation, we went to the San Diego Zoo.

I even managed to arrange to meet my college roommate and her family there. I was so excited and nervous to see them! I haven’t seen Jason and Heather since 2002! They don’t know Alan! Weird, huh?

Many of you know that I met Alan in college, where we began dating. Most of you don’t know too much about my life before Alan, and digging up all of these photos of my roomie Heather really took me back in time!

We had this fantastic group that we formed my freshman year of college. I don’t even know how it really came to be, but it was always the seven of us. First, I met Nikki.

We had Spanish together. We became friends, and I began having lunch with Nikki and her boyfriend Derrick at Burke Cafeteria. I met Heather through Nikki. I don’t remember how I met Ginny. But we all just knew each other. When the four of us girls became friends, we were all college freshmen, on the 14th floor of our residence hall. We used to call our larger group (there were tons of us) the 14th floor girls.

Jason entered the scene in January of our freshman year. It had to be January because I remember that it was basketball season, and Heather invited Jason to go to a basketball game with a group of her friends. Enter always single, never- has- a -date April. She’s a perfect addition to a group date. Haaa!

Actually, as I looked back through these pictures, I began to remember that I was ALWAYS the 3rd or 5th wheel to Derrick and Nikki and Heather and Jason.

This is another reason it isn’t healthy to look back. This all sounds sad for me, doesn’t it?

Don’t feel sorry for me. I occasionally did get invited to things by other people, and I had plenty of friends. I had my crushes, but I was happy being single.

We had lots of girly fun too. This was Heather, getting ready for a real date with Jason, a date on which, I promise I did not tag along. 😉 When we took this picture, Heather never suspected that April would go on to be a blogger (because blogs didn’t exist in 1999) who would post a photo of her with her hair in curlers on the interwebbin’.

Don’t worry, ya’ll. If I thought Heather would mind, I wouldn’t post it, but see that’s what I love about this group. This is why I would subject myself to third and fifth wheel-dom.

They were FUN.

We had so much fun. Jason and Brett were hilarious. Ginny and Derrick were laid back. Nikki was always saying something you didn’t expect. Heather had no filter at all, and I just remember laughing until my face hurt. I loved every single one of them. They were my little college family, the first two years.

the Mona Lisa and ol’ Leonardo da Vinci

See! These two are FUN!

Big Al Try-outs!

Jason was from San Diego, and he came to Alabama with a plan to be Big Al. When Big Al try-outs came around, we joined in the fun. I don’t know what all he had to do to try out, but our part was to participate in a skit, which he wrote and choreographed. I was Auburn in the skit. That was such a big deal. For the skit, Jason wore the Big Al costume, there was dancing, and I don’t remember what all, and then he knocked Auburn (me) down and struck a pose.

And how could he not win, with a team like us behind him?

Jason as Big Al, along with Nikki, Gretchen, me, and Heather

It’s fun to look back. I have been so lucky to have such wonderful friends. College days are long behind us now. Jason has his own marketing and design firm, and he works all over the country. Actually, he and his friend Casey started that when we were still at the university. He and Heather also had their first baby last year. Yes, I said first. There will be more. I just know it. Heather is a program coordinator for a church in San Diego. She has also written a book and worked in the news business for 10 or so years.

Heather, Asher, and me. I have found that most babies love to play with water bottles.

So now, more years than I’d like to admit later…….here we are, both living in California. Who would have ever thought?

But I’m not a third wheel now. 🙂 I have these guys.

Alan and I got a sad chuckle out of the contrast between our pictures now, as opposed to our fresh, young college photos.

I loved that Jason and Heather took time out of their schedules to see the zoo–which they’ve seen countless times–again with us.

We have lived in a couple of tourist destinations now, and we’ve always heard our friends say things like, “I don’t care what we do. I just want to see ya’ll.” I never realized how much they meant that until I got to be the visitor instead of the visited. It really wasn’t about the zoo for me. It was about catching up with people that are important to me, friends that were there for me when I needed them, friends that know where I’m from.

But don’t worry. I know. You actually did come here for the zoo photos. We will try not to disappoint:

The flamingos are so cute when they all run together.

It seemed like there were lots of birds.

an Alan and April photo! We never get these!!

learning about spider exoskeletons

This biologist works with San Diego Zoo’s insects, and he was so friendly. We were really impressed with how much he loves his work. This man is excited about some bugs. I truly appreciated the time that he spent talking to the boys about his work.

Naked mole rats!

Joshua was ALLL about this Skyfari. He rode it three times.

Actually, we all enjoyed it.

Daniel and the lion’s den…….baaaahahahaha

Cheetah!

They keep a dog in the cheetah cage, which the cheetah was raised with. The presence of the dog keeps the cheetah calm. Isn’t that interesting?

really humongous rodent thing: like a capybara

Caleb loved this.

I literally glanced at this photo and thought these were all my children. Then I looked more closely. The boys were so excited to get to hold Asher!

so happy

After the zoo, we headed over to the Corvette Diner. We had so much fun that my face hurt again, so that’s big time success.

First, there was a magician, and that was so funny. I can’t explain it, but magicians + children = hilarious.

See my laughing face? The magician was trying to keep from busting up himself.

Jason is very personable, and Daniel took right to him.

While I wasn’t even noticing, Daniel poured ketchup on his spaghetti. He thought it was delicious. Jason helped him with those long noodles. Thank you, Jason!

It was so funny. I can’t even explain it.

Preciousness!

Even John David was fascinated with baby Asher. He “helped” Jason carry him out.

I love catching up with friends. Please know that you always have a place to stay in Northern Cal, Jason and Heather! We’re here until next summer!

And that wraps up this vacation series…..back to real life!

The post Day #4: San Diego Zoo and a Throwback to the Capstone appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

We are well into our very first cross country road trip tonight, currently staying in Amarillo.

“Amarillo by Morning” is now stuck in my head.

It’s 12 am central time, and we are pretty sleepy. Unfortunately, we put clothes in the hotel washing machine downstairs. That means we have another hour and fifteen minutes, at best, before we can go to bed. Now I wish we’d packed ourselves more clothing. Drat.

It was a long day of driving, driving, and more driving. Not that much stuff happened. We did eat at Cracker Barrel. That was awesome. We didn’t have a Cracker Barrel in D.C., and I bet there won’t be one where we’re going either. Such a bummer.

So let’s talk about something that WASN’T a bummer.

On Thursday, we drove through Tuscaloosa and visited our Alma Mater: the University of Alabama.

Naturally, I took pictures. These might only be fun to other Alabama fans like myself…..

This is the President’s Mansion. I’ll never forget this one night when Jennings, Ryan, and I climbed those trees in the President’s Mansion yard.

Bryant Denny Stadium!! Roll Tide!

Toumey Hall. It’s one of the historical buildings. It was being renovated when I was a junior, and I can remember climbing up into the rafters, like they were balance beams, with Ryan and Jennings.  I know. It was a weird and stupid thing to do. Fun, though.

College of Arts and Sciences

Paty Hall:  Alan’s old dorm. I can’t believe they haven’t torn it down yet.

There were tons and tons of buildings that were not there when we were students.

I guess 12 years gave them plenty of time to build. There were whole areas of campus that I did not recognize.  Alan liked this one because it’s the “National Water Center,” and Alan loves studying water.

The old Bryce Mental Hospital building. This was an abandoned eye sore even 12 years ago, so I was surprised to see it still standing.

There were really only a few buildings that held a ton of memories for me. This Biology building is one of them.

I was pre-physical therapy, so I spent a lot of time there, doing fun things like listening to lectures and dissecting cats.

My degree is in Psychology, so I also spent a whole lot of time in Gordon Palmer: the Psychology and Math building.

I hated Calculus so much. Bleh. Jennings, do you remember how we studied for our Calculus final–watching The Nanny and Golden Girls, and studying during commercial breaks. We are lucky we passed!

I was also happy to find Tutwiler Hall still standing. My old residence hall!!  Oh, the memories!!

It felt sort of surreal to be back on campus.

Alan thought it felt great. I was so happy there, as a student, but I remember being nervous a lot too!!  There was always so many tests and so many boys. I know it sounds silly, but I was pretty stressed most of the time. Alan has this theory that I’m not really happy unless I’m stressed. I’m not sure, but in college it just seemed like there was always a cute boy that I was talking to, or walking with, or avoiding, or dating, so I had that butterfly stomach feeling an awful lot–fun–but exhausting!

It sure is nice to be married and done with that phase of life.

It was a fun time to look back on, but the past is best left as the past. Raising kids–that’s where it’s at!! 🙂

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