Starting a new school in a new land is harder than I anticipated, but I felt like day 2 actually went very well for all the boys.

School started back yesterday. 

This was an exciting event that I’d finished in high gloss and framed in my mind as a victorious day ushering in a new era for me.

Without a single pre-schooler following me around I will have a spotless house, serve gourmet dinners, volunteer at their school, and run wild and free through grassy meadows.

Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

High expectations. I love to do that to myself.

Three years ago, my heart began to give me trouble, so I saw a cardiologist, and she told me not to exercise until we’d figured out what was going on with my heart.

We’ve never fully figured out what is causing my v-tach episodes, but they gave me back my freedom to exercise. Phew!

That lasted for about 6 months, and then my general practitioner took away my exercise again. “Only exercise in water. Otherwise, your joints are going to get worse and worse.”

Limitations. I hate them. Who doesn’t?

Anyway, am I not too young for such physical limitations and too old to have silly, unrealistic expectations?

For two years, I did not exercise. Occasionally, I’d rebel, suffer the pain of it, and reform. Meanwhile, my weight packed on at lightning speed.

I’ve come to see myself as this overweight, tired lady with a ticking-time-bomb heart and deflated dreams.

Lovely, eh? That’s disgruntled, disappointed, low self-esteem at its best.

But this hope of having a whole 6.5 hours/day to accomplish things alone drove me.

“I can lose the weight.”

“I can walk so much and do so many weight-bearing exercises (with small weights) that I can’t possibly mess it up with chocolate chip cookies.”

“Alan will love how clean the house is, and he will be impressed with me.”

“My blog will thrive again because I will have so much time to pour into it.”

“The sky’s the limit! I can do anything I want!”

“I’ll finally go get that MRI I was supposed to get a month ago and show the cardiologist how good my heart is doing.”

Some of these thoughts are healthy, I think. You gotta have drive to get through life, ya know?

And yet, you know what is inevitable with hopes of this sort? Disappointment. Problems. Unmet expectations.

Back to school day one wasn’t even over before Daniel developed strep throat. So guess who isn’t at home slaying all these accomplishments today? Me.

Daniel said, “No, I just want to sit in here with you, on the sofa.”

For 5 hours, I basically just sat with Daniel and cuddled on the couch. We watched Ninjago and Peter Rabbit and looked at old family photos of vacations at Legoland and the beach.

I still enjoyed it, but normally I would’ve cherished it so much more because I wouldn’t have had all these unmet goals in my head.

So no, today I did not impress my husband or anyone else for that matter. I have no idea what we will be eating for dinner. I actually fell asleep in Daniel’s bed around 1pm and woke up to see a giant block tower with farm fences built beside the bed and Daniel downstairs playing the x-box.

If I don’t get strep throat myself, it’s a miracle. Plus, I’m playing chauffeur tonight, which I rather despise, so I’m dreading that.

But God knew this all along, didn’t he? He knew my freedom would have a brief interlude. He knew I’d make grand plans that would fill me with disappointment when they came crashing down in front of me.

It’s actually serving as a good reminder to me, though it doesn’t feel like anything “good,” because I so desperately wanted to be wonderfully productive this week.

The thing is life isn’t about accomplishments, exercise, to do lists, or gourmet meals. Life is about love and people. That’s what life is about.

Yes, you heard it. I am DEFINING life right here on my little, low-traffic blog!!  And I dare you to argue with me. Ha! Because this time I’m right. (Maybe just this once, okay?)

Life is about love and people, so when you look at it this way, perhaps I am a smashing, unexpectedly amazing success after all because that is exactly what this day was about. Love and Daniel, and he is a person.

Just look at your life through that lens when it feels like you don’t have an accomplishment to your name. What’s success anyway, if it isn’t about love?

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.    1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

You might think, “No, April. Love and God.”

Well, yes, but if you love God then you must love people. You SHOULD love God most of all, but you should display that by loving his people. How can any of us love God, who we can’t see, if we don’t love people, who are right in front of us?

After all that’s what the Bible teaches:

Thus I am reminded to be content, no more like empowered, to show love and maybe only achieve 1 or 2 things from my list, or maybe none at all. I can work on this list any day at all, but Daniel needs me TODAY.

I hope you’re having a good day too, loving God and people. I’ll bet you’re way more of a smashing success than you think you are!

The post Disappointments and Limitations: Starting a New School in a New State appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The biggest change of the year for me has been that I’m so busy with people who I can actually see that I can no longer keep my blog updated or read my Facebook feed. My online life–Is that a thing??– is seriously taking a hit!

Yes, I still go on Facebook to check my messages, so I still see the “top story” or two, but that’s about it.

Last year, I spent so much time alone in the house with the boys that I actually began to think that I preferred to live that way. I shied away from people. I began to believe I wasn’t a “people person,” but I think I was just lonely.

It wasn’t great for my kids either. They missed their friends, and their lack of new friends to replace the old ones made the move so much harder.

While I do miss blogging more regularly, I’m remembering that not having time to spend on the internet is a HEALTHY problem to have. Being friends with real, live people is VITAL.

Here’s why:

#1. People you can SEE can actually HELP you with your problems.

Writing was something I needed to do last year to process the major changes that my family was going through: moving across the country, Alan enrolled in graduate school, and I began teaching my own children.

Sharing my thoughts was therapeutic, and that is a positive thing. However, no matter how much or little that internet friends can empathize or even identify with my problems, they  can’t DO much to help.

That reminds me of that Bible verse:

“Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” Proverbs 27:10

I’m not knocking our brothers, sisters, and friends that are far away. We do realize that, in our case, Alan and I are the ones who moved to the land of far, far away.

Here’s Daniel, having fun in our Far Away Land.

#2. Instant gratification is super-fun.

Sometimes something so important happens to me that I want to shout it to the world, so I go online, and I do so. I post it on Facebook, or I write about it on my blog.

And then I wait.

Did anyone comment? Did anyone like it? Who???

Yes! “I got 10 likes and 2 comments!” Such sad little feelings of social media joy.

You have to wait for them, and if you post at the wrong time of day, maybe all the wrong people saw it, so no one gives you that warm, fuzzy, “Girl, I know exactly what you mean! Me too!”

………But that doesn’t happen with REAL LIVE PEOPLE! You know right away if they laughed or not! They quickly can say, “Yeah, but what about….” and you don’t take it the wrong way because you can hear the inflection in their voice.

I love the instant gratification of talking to a visible person.

#3. You know who they are.

The average Facebook post may get you 20 likes, but 20 more of your friends didn’t like it. Why didn’t they like it? Are they just anti-like-button? If they don’t like anything we say, why are they still our friends?

I think many of you just never mash that button. I’m always taken by surprise when a real-life friend says to me, “Oh, I liked what you said on your blog about yada yada yada,” and I had never even known they read my blog.

How encouraging to learn that they actually DO read it! Thank you, friends!

But when you are communicating with VISIBLE people, you KNOW these things. You know who you are talking to, so you can refrain from saying something that will not make any sense at all to this person. You can keep it relevant.

You can save the pictures of your 3rd birthday for when you know each other a little better. (Thanks again, Aunt Linda..  😉  No, I’m kidding. I totally don’t care.)

It really does drive me a little nuts sometimes to never know who I’m talking to online. I don’t mind the total strangers, but if I post to Facebook, and my blog tells me “45 Facebook referrals,” I can’t help it. I want to know which of my friends read it.

But I’ll never know.

See this would not happen in real life. We always know WHO we are speaking to.

#4. The thrill of being out! The joy of walking around in the sun and smiling at others!

How do you replicate that online?

#5. Attractive people

What is it about the pretty people? We lose a lot of that online, as we talk behind our anonymity, and I’m thankful for that, when I’m sitting here in my messed up hair and pajamas.

But don’t you love it when you’re out, and you get to talk to the pretty people? Beauty is inspirational, and that is not limited to nature or stuff. People can be so lovely that they inspire us too! People are both outwardly and inwardly inspiring!

How great is it when you see a lady all dressed to the nines, with perfect hair, make-up and pearls? I love pearls. I’m inspired, and when the lady is also KIND, her beauty factor goes up exponentially.

My friend Laura was wearing the most beautiful, chunky strand of pearls at church this morning, and it made me happy just to see it. Also, Laura is from Kentucky, and I thought, “Man, we Southern women are FANTASTIC. We rock. Look at those jewels. Beautiful!”

And then there’s that feeling you get when the handsome man smiles at you.

For 5 seconds, we can all be 13 years old.

And no, don’t worry. I do realize I’m married to the handsomest man there is.

And he’s a great smiler.

#6 The Encouragers

We all know people like this. They just have an aura. They can’t help it. They give off happiness. I wish all people could be encouragers. Just standing beside them makes you happier.

They don’t brag. They don’t put on airs. They don’t put others down. They just smile, and you know that they get it, and yet, they are happy. We are all happier, just from meeting them.

That’s a hard thing to transfer to the internet. I’m not sure if it can be done.

#7. The Do-Gooders

Do you remember that neighbor I mentioned last year that was always bringing us food? I got to know her better, and she’s one of these do-gooder-people. She naturally does sweet things for people, and that sort of thing can’t quite be replicated on the interwebbin’.

#8. It is obvious, in person, when people are being sarcastic, funny, or mad.

I have a Facebook friend who once said, “I always come off sounding like I care way more about issues on here than I actually do.”

Our voices are much harder to discern in quick social media comments.

#9. God did not create us to be hermits. He created us with a need for each other. We NEED other people.

I know that I haven’t arrived yet to being fully socially functional in my new home. I know this because I still have unmet needs. I have no babysitter. I need to keep getting out there and rubbing shoulders with others. For most problems we have, there’s a person somewhere who can help us!

I don’t have friends that drop by unannounced and have coffee with me, but I’m getting there gradually. I do now have friends that at least know where I live, and my friend Kim comes over and tutors one of my sons. I love this because I now have a friend who I keep something for in our refrigerator. That’s right, Kim, next time you come, I will very proudly present you with a little pint of half-and-half.

So exciting!

Online friends can’t truly need us, not unless they are so special that we make SURE we text them with our important events. I’m trying to move to that. I’m trying to start selecting the friends that I want to send messages that say things like, “Oh my goodness!! Daniel just scored a goal!!”

I used to just blast that on Facebook because that covers all of those closest to me and then some, but sometimes my closest friends don’t even see that.

(Side note: My biggest problem is that I lost so many cell phones since I moved that I do not have any of my Virginia friends’ numbers in my phone anymore. Virginia friends, could you please text me your numbers!!!)

#10. Real life is more Fun.

I love that I have neighbors who know my children’s names. It makes me so happy to see Daniel with a best friend only two houses down.

The sound of the big boys’ bikes zipping around “the loop” with their friends is pure music to my ears.

What is better than a weekend football party with friends, serving at church with your church family, or watching your children play on the playground with other moms?

Real live people. I am back to the world of real live people. Thank goodness! It is so much more fun.

And of course: #11. Hugs and kisses.

Let’s face it. We all need physical touch. XOXO on a page is simply not the same.

Now, wait just a minute!

With that said, I’m not about to exit blogging or social media. Don’t worry. I’m here to stay. I still love a little time alone. However, I do hope you have noticed. I have cut back from 3 posts/week to 1 or 2 posts/week, just for this season of home-school teaching.

Meanwhile, I am definitely enjoying getting OUT more. I love being out, laughing and joking with people. I LIKE having places to be.

Thank you for sticking by me through the lonely year. I hope you all have a great week, and I hope you all manage to get OUT!

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”    Hebrews 10:24

The post 11 Reasons Personal Interactions are Better than Social Media appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Why does grocery shopping always turn into the most interesting day of the week?  It sounds so simple, and it is so simple–when I get to go alone.

  This week I was bound and determined to do the good ol’ fashioned grocery trip with baby + a toddler thing.  Daniel loves stores, and JD is such a sweet baby, so no problem right?

heh-heh

 It all started when I got JD’s shots the day before, and I let them also give him a flu shot (half dose).  Yes, I do realize he was 8 months old for his 6 months shots.  Life is hard, people.  The immunizations clinic was cool with it, so really you can be cool with it too.  ; )

  John David is still not himself.  I blame the flu shot.  I got up three times with him last night, and he has stopped eating solid food.  I really hope this little guy feels better soon!!!  I’m doing all I can to help him.

  Soooo….since JD was needing extra TLC, I KNEW what had to be done.  The Ergo baby carrier!  “No problem!” I thought,  “I use it all the time.”

JD loves the Ergo.

  At least that’s what I thought until I got to the store and remembered that I’m the Ergo retard that can’t put it on by myself.  Where are Joshua and Caleb when I need them?  Oy.  (Thankfully, little Dan stood there patiently while I moaned and complained and fidgeted).

  Eventually, JD was all strapped in and I made a terrible realization.  It wasn’t right.  His foot was hung up on the side, and I couldn’t free it.  The lower back clip was all twisted, and I couldn’t fix it either.  I CAN’T bend that way!!!

  What’s a girl to do?  I was determined to buy these groceries.  I marched us in, straight up to the “Information” desk and requested some help.  There I met Angel #1.

  She got his foot un-hung and the clip un-twisted.  It still didn’t feel right, but I proceeded forward, spent 10 minutes looking for the “car that you drive” buggy for Daniel, finally found him one, and headed into the produce section……where I met angel #2.

  She was a mom much like myself, and she had three children with her for her shopping day.  Drat.  Outdone.  She’s got the Ergo on properly and 2 kids, under 5, in the buggy.  I look like a newbie.

  Some how she could tell my carrier wasn’t on right.  She came over, and man, I don’t know what she did, but she did it RIGHT.  She adjusted like 4 different straps:  zip, zam, swish, and then she said, “Jiggle him up a bit,”  (which he didn’t love, as he was already settling in for his Ergo nap), and wow.  Instantly, I felt better.  It was perfect.  I thanked her profusely, felt like a pitiful school child that has no idea what they are doing……and continued my grocery shopping.

  I’ve been doing this for 8 years, but let’s face it, sometimes as moms of littles, we MUST rely on the courtesy of others.  Oh, I’m not done.  There were more angels.

  All went well until it was time to unload the buggy onto the belt.  The problem with the “car driver” buggy (with the steering wheels up high) is that it’s a 2-level basket for your groceries, one up high, and one at the floor level.  Have you ever tried bending over a sleeping baby to reach the floor level one?  I had not really thought that through.

  THANKFULLY, this beautiful woman that I had seen earlier and thought, “Oh, we’re in her way, and we’re probably getting on her nerves, as she has no toddlers, but she’s getting on MY nerves dodging around me like that,” swooped in and started unloading my buggy for me.

  She said, “Oh, I’ve been there.”  I was so thankful (and ashamed for my negative thoughts from earlier) that I could have cried, but I didn’t.    We’ll call her angel #3.

  Then angel #4 swooped in and said to #3, “You’re next in line, so go ahead over there, and I will do this.”

  Then the cashier got testy with the baggers for not doing this and letting the customers do this…..

  Let’s just say it was a HUMBLING experience.

  You know how you hear people talk about “people today” and how rude our society has become and such?  I completely disagree.  I’ve been a mom of littles and a military wife for long enough that I have OFTEN had to rely on the generosity of total strangers, and let me tell you:  “people today” can still be amazingly kind and helpful.  Sometimes it’s just hard to know HOW to help, but sometimes (like yesterday) I run into people who just know exactly what to do, and they do it.  Here in the suburbs I know a lot of people that still go out of their way to help others, and I am learning so much from them!!!

  You can spin just about anything in a negative or positive direction.  I’ve had too much help from “people today” to say anything negative about them!

  Sometimes I get so busy, I forget to notice others who need help, but I’m so inspired by all the kind acts that I see everyday.  I pray that I, too, will step it up and be one of these angels among us!

The post There ARE angels among us, and most of them are just people. appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.