Apparently, for a perfect article, you’re supposed to solve a problem for the reader.

(See, I’ve been reading up on it. Fat lot of good it’s done me.)

So I feel like I should apologize to all of my readers. Have I ever solved ANY of your problems? Noooo–unless your problem was you needed to feel better about yourself. If that is the case, I am HERE for you, man. I will tell you how short I fall of the mark, most any mark at all, and you will definitely leave feeling better about yourself.

When I ask the question, “How do you get more self-discipline?” you might think that I’m going to give you the answer….

But I’m not. Sorry. Yeah, I’m actually just asking YOU. Seriously. How? I’m supposed to be working from home this year.

Reality. What I actually do all day: but I love it. I love hanging out with this kid all day. I can’t help it. I may never get any work done. I don’t care.

Instead, I feel like I spend most of my time talking on the phone to cardiology offices, re-organizing little boys’ clothing, helping JD, and reading the news. And as usual, when I say the news, I do mean my Facebook news feed. See, they call it the news too.

How do I get the discipline to sit down and write beautiful stories???

I have some ideas. Tell me which ones you like the best:

1. More Fall Decor  (Yes, I’m obsessed.)
2. Front Porch Decor
3. Money-Saving Grocery Shopping Tips
4. “Make Over Your Evenings” Course (from MoneySavingMom.com) Review
5. 10 Things You Never Knew About Abraham Lincoln (I have learned so many Abe facts from this mega biography I’m reading.)
6. But how do you choose joy? (I’ve been researching this in the mornings.)
7. Why do fitness and nutrition have to be so obnoxiously important?
8. Why all pre-school moms NEED to join M.O.P.S.

I met a mom at MOPS last week who has this self-discipline that I lack.

She doesn’t even have a Facebook account. ****GASP!!!****

“How do you maintain this level of self-discipline???”

I asked her. I could also ask Amy, my sister-in-law this question. She always goes to bed on time, and she sticks to a schedule with her children (I’m apparently allergic to schedules). How????? No, I mean, how do you make yourself???

My new MOPS friend explained that she is an artist, so she wants to use her free time to work on her art, not Facebook.

Oh, how I love to post goofy photos on Facebook.

But I’m a writer, and I NEED to use my free time to work on my writing, so what am I doing posting pictures of myself exercising on Facebook? Why do I find it so important to share every funny Meme I find with my Facebook friends? Why must I “Like” everything my friends post???

But what if I don’t “Like” their photos, and they think that I therefore do not “like” the photos?? Oh, I have to hit “LIKE”! I JUST HAVE TO!!!! Wow. It’s a compulsion. I’m really nuts.

I was thinking. Maybe I should pour all of that energy I’ve been putting into social media into my actual blog/blogging community. Then I would have a better blog and less guilt.

Okay, so obviously I don’t have any good self-discipline tips. I only have questions, crazy, neurotic questions.

Please send me your best self-discipline tricks. Do you work from home? Are you self-motivated? How do you pinch your own rear to make yourself stop cleaning house or playing and actually work-at-home???

Don’t leave me hanging. I need ideas!

The post How do you get more self-discipline when you work at home? appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

These women + Pam and sometimes Sally, Suzy, Tegan, Amy, and Katie. These women are how I got through Operation Iraqi Freedom I, 2003-2004. We were the real “Army Wives,” long before cable had that t.v. show. And I know so many spouses just like us, all over the world, across all branches of service. We have this unique life, which is both good and bad, and our stories are worth hearing.

I don’t know if you remember, but before I gave birth to JD, I was writing a book. Yes, that was over three years ago now. I haven’t touched it that whole time.

I can’t write that particular book anymore. It’s not the book I want to write at this time.

Each morning I open my inbox in hope of seeing a blog job offer that I will want to take on. This week I had opportunities to review a security system, a bidet, and coconut oil that costs $20 a jar…..when you can buy it for $8 a jar at any grocery store, yes, even organic. I was a little less than enthused. I passed on those.

(####As a blogger, it is my promise to you, my reader, to only review products I’m excited about or truly believe in.####)

I’m still happy blogging, and I’m constantly trying to learn how to be better at it and grow my audience. But for the past two years, I kept thinking about the book. (The first year I had JD the book wasn’t even on the radar. I was just happy to accomplish teeth brushing.)

I kept thinking, “Maybe once the move is done, I’ll work on my book again.”

And sometimes I mention it, and people ask me, “What is your book about?”

“Ummmmmm..uhhhh…” Cue the crickets….

“I don’t actually know what I’m going to write a book about, but for some reason, I’d really like to write one.” I actually feel this pressure to do it. I can’t explain it.

Then three nights ago, I had just gotten out of the shower, and BAM! It hit me! I knew what to write about.

Don’t you get your best ideas while showering? I mean I do, normally, unless there is a toddler beating on the shower door whispering, “Mom, get out. Mom get out.”

Sometimes JD just whispers. It’s cute, not creepy though. Well, sometimes it’s creepy.

Sorry. I’m rambling. So what am I going to write about?

I think it’s time for me to tell my war stories and how God and some wonderful friends brought us through them.

It’s been 15 years now since Sept. 11. It was the war of my generation. And it’s still a gigantic problem. I was 20 back then, and I sent my husband overseas to take part in the War on Terrorism three times already, as did many of my friends. We’ve spent a cumulative total of three plus years of our marriage apart. 

’03 or ’04, with my sister military spouses

There are so many stories to tell! Some hilarious, like times spent with my 4 best friends back in Texas in ’03, before any of us had children. Some sad, like when Caleb ran to a random dude instead of Alan at Alan’s 2010 home-coming. Some heartbreaking, as when we lost friends and bosses as casualties to the war.

It’s been so long now that people are beginning to forget. I’ve actually had someone ask me why I should get a military discount. And Congress is constantly threatening our benefits. Then there was that whole VA healthcare debacle.

So many things happened. And while you often hear of books about “letters from war”, you seldom hear about letters TO war. Well, who wants to read about that? There’s no shooting or convoy attacks in letters from home, right? Well, there are our reactions to them. Then there are the hilarious and sometimes gut-wrenching adventures that an Army wife takes on with her family while she’s left behind.

My sweet military kids during their first deployment experience. At this point,in 2010, Alan had returned from a 15 month tour. Caleb was still calling MY dad “Dad.”

Things like walking your son through EEGs and MRIs because he’s suddenly having seizures and trying to explain it all to your husband in Iraq, while your son’s pre-school teacher calls your son their “little class mascot” as they support him through his medical trials.

Things like getting over-the-moon-I-just-won-the-lottery kind of excited watching the train traveling back into town, loaded down with tanks and Humvees, and wondering what day that they will send your husband too, but knowing that they are finally, after the longest year ever, actually going to come home!!!

And oh, sharing deployment with four close friends who saved each other’s lives that year. Okay. Not literally, but we’ve seen how stress can kill a person, so maybe literally! Yes, definitely literally. Yes, we saved each other’s lives.

I had no idea what I was getting into, but I couldn’t wait to start!

There are so many things I want to tell. Military wives, I know you have stories just like mine and worse and better and then some. I’d love to hear your tales. Maybe after I tell my story I can tell yours too. Hopefully, by telling mine, I will also be telling a lot of yours too. But it’s beautiful how each one us has a slightly different story to tell.

Okay. JD is here, and his nap is apparently over, and he needs me to put his pants back on him, so I’m outta here. Tell me what you think about my book idea. Don’t worry. I’ll change the names, and I’ve already gotten Alan’s buy-in.

We wish you all a fabulous Labor Day weekend!

The post The Book–I had an exciting break through! appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

I am now officially a contributor to montereypremier.com‘s blog, Engaging Work life! This was an exciting opportunity for me, and I hope you’ll give it a read.

Here’s a snippet:

#1. You HAVE to self-promote.
I didn’t want to do it either, but how can anyone ever read your blog if they don’t know that you posted something new? I see it all the time with friends that start blogs. They spend all that time writing, but then they keep it a secret.
Think of it as an invitation. You wouldn’t throw a party and then not invite anyone to it.

Click here to read the rest! 

The post 10 Blogging Tips for Beginners (What I wish I had known when I started blogging!) appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

The other day, as I dug through the books on my shelves, I came across a book I have thought of a lot lately, a book like no other.

It’s the little book of Poetry, written by my grandmother, BHK. We’ll call her Beth. Beth died when I was 16, of breast cancer. Her death was one of those that didn’t sit well with anyone. No one said, “Well, it was just her time to go.”

Everyone was more like, “Why did she have to go so soon?”

It was Christmas, and she was only 56. You see, that’s another reason some of us have never been the same on Christmas. There’s more to our Charlie Brown-ness than just commercialism.

To make it worse, Christmas was HER THING. No, really. She owned Christmas, I tell you. She made such a display of decorating her house that she won town awards.

(I’m going to do that this year, too, Grandma! I’m going all out!)

senior portrait

Beauty was her gift. Beautiful Beth. She had a house full of beautiful ceramics, all created by Beth, all perfectly arranged and well kept. Her closet was full of hand-made clothes, mostly dresses. She was prissy, frilly, sarcastic, and fun. Sitting down with a good book, a glass of un-sweet tea, and a cigarette, that’s how we’ll always picture her.

You won’t believe me when I tell you this, but by the time I was born, she wore false eye lashes every single day, and perfume. I used to stand in her bathroom for 30 minutes at a time, just gazing at the fantastic display of Avon perfumes, tiny ceramic pitchers and people, and her unmatched and always tidy collection of make-up.

Grandpa used to jokingly imitate her answering the phone saying, “Hello, this is Beth,” in THE most feminine voice you can imagine.

I loved her so. I often have thought about what it was that made me love her as much as I did, and I think part of it was because she was purposeful in spending time with us. We spent a week at her house each summer, and she would play board games with us kids for hours. She and our grandpa took us to the beach, to Six Flags, to the zoo, to movies, and thrift store shopping. From MawMaw (another name that we called her) I learned the fine art that is bargain hunting.

She used to write me letters, and I would write her back. I kept all of them. I’d love to come across those! She kept my letters too, so I also have those now.

She knew how to get along well with people. She was accepting.

Oh! And did I mention her vast collection of books! Well, obviously, she spoke the language of my heart! There were even times when she owned little book stores, but always there was her downstairs library, wall to wall with books. And scrapbooks! I think we counted about 198 scrapbooks.

At 4 foot 10, or was it 11, I hate how memories fade, she was the first grown-up that any of us kids caught up to.

The year she died was the same year that she announced to us that she had breast cancer, but by then, she’d already had it for two years. She had kept it a secret. I cannot imagine how. I never could, but by the time we found out, it had already moved to her bones. She was eaten up with it. It was only a couple of months after she broke the cancer news to us that she was gone.

We spent that Christmas vacation a couple of hours from home, so Mom could be by her side. We slept at my aunt’s house. I still remember the overwhelming heart break of the visitation service the evening before the funeral.

I sat in a chair near the casket, sixteen years old, losing one of the pillars of my life. I couldn’t take my mind off all the people around me making small talk about the weather. I was suffocating in my thoughts, and I just wanted to make them all be quiet or go away. How could they talk so carelessly? I could barely breathe, and when I couldn’t take it another minute, I ran out to my parents’ minivan, climbed inside, closed the doors, and bawled alone.

I don’t know how any of them figured out that I was there, but one by one, my brother, my mother, and my father all came out and sat in the van with me.

And it turned into one of the sweetest, most comforting moments in my life. There is something about sharing grief with the people who know, who get it, who have lost as much as you have. There is something about it that bonds you like glue and heals hurts deep inside.

I remember saying that I just couldn’t get past the fact that they were going to bury her, my dear little grandma, into the ground. I could not stand the thought of her being put down there and covered with dirt.

“Oh, April. That’s just her body. That’s nothing to her. Her spirit is in Heaven. She is with God, and we will see her again. That’s just her body. Don’t worry about that.”

I don’t remember what else was said, but for some reason, in the midst of my very first great loss, these were the words that I needed to hear. Even more so, I needed the comfort of sitting in the van, just me and the three most important people in my life.

But I’m not going to share this heart-rending story with you, and leave you feeling sad. I would never do that. You know I wouldn’t.

Here is one of my favorite little passages from Beth’s book of poetry. It isn’t a poem. Just wise words from a much loved sinner turned saint.

MY SECRET FOR HAPPINESS

I have a secret for happiness I’d like to share with you.

When you awake in the morning, think of three things you are looking forward to. Remember life’s simple pleasures are often best. They don’t have to be big occasions.

When you retire at night, reflect on three good things about that day.

You’re sure to smile and be happy.               by BHK

Try her suggestion, I dare you.

The post My One of a Kind MawMaw and Her Secret for Happiness appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

In my head, and even sometimes on paper, I always have at least 10 good ideas for things I want to write about on my blog.

I even sometimes manage to write it all out in my head, exactly what I will write….if I can just get a minute…..to make that my priority.

Just this week, there was a delicious 7 layer cake that I made, numerous thoughts on my first year of parenting 4 children, even more thoughts on John David’s first year, there have been countless farewell thank you’s I have wanted to say, and people I wanted to recognize, and 5 years of DC experiences I’d love to reminisce. There have been hilarious quotes from my children, public embarrassment that we have suffered, brilliant ideas that I’ve gotten from my friends……oh the list goes on and on.

But the thing is I’m too busy. Even now, it is 10pm, and I really should be sleeping because it is Sunday night, we had a non-stop weekend, and I am exhausted.

I guess it will be a long, long time before I finish that book I started two years ago.

Do you know why? I’m just too busy being a mom and enjoying life to get much actual work done.

Maybe when we move and none of us have any friends, I’ll write more. This blog will serve as my notes. If life ever slows down, I will have this blog to look back on this phase of constant activity and young, precious, needy little ones to care for. I will look back and remember. How I love it!!  I do!

Alan and I did not start out our marriage planning to have a ‘big family,’ and really, our family isn’t all that big–just a little above average. I’m so thankful that we took the chance and that God blessed us the way that he has.

“Who am I, O LORD God, and what is mine house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?”   1 Chronicles 17:16

It was actually even tastier than it looks, thank you very much.

Today I sold my breast pump to a lady exactly my age.

She is 4 months pregnant and excited to become a stay-at-home-mom. She asked me how I like it. “It’s great!” I told her, “and I think it’s easier.” I do. Well, it’s just a little less to juggle–no career stress and no childcare stress. Good childcare is hard to find–and that especially matters when you are having to find full-time childcare.

Staying home with my children is a privilege–a privilege that many women cannot afford to have, and I am so thankful for it.

I keep reading about ways to “make money blogging.” I would love to make money blogging. Is it going to happen anytime soon? Nope. I just can’t make myself do it. I have approval from an ad agency sitting in my email account. All I would have to do is code it into my site to just get the ball rolling. Eventually, I will. It won’t make much at first, but it would be a first step. I would love to make enough eventually to send my children to a good private school… one day.

But that day is not today. Today I start to blog, and I hear Daniel ask me to read him a book….okay…of course I will….Then I start to blog later, and I hear JD waking up from his nap. Nope, not blogging time yet. Then there are mouths to feed, messes to clean up, errands to run, diapers to change…..well you get the idea. Is it really possible to ‘work from home’ with two toddlers under foot?

By 10 pm, my duties are somewhat done. Not really. There are pans in the sink from that cake I made. 7 layers, people!!

(In my defense, I did run the dishwasher.)  I didn’t do any laundry today, so I have four full hampers to contend with tomorrow, at least. On Sunday, I deserve the day off from the laundry, so no guilt there.

So at 10pm, my chores are at a stopping place, and I can finally blog. I think I would need more than just an hour every few nights to build a profitable website.

These other little jobs are just more important to me than any blogging or writing or money ever will be. This is such a short phase, and I want to enjoy it because you know what? Babies don’t keep.

The post Delaying Dreams When You are Busy Being Mom appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.