Sometimes I wonder if this is truly my ONLY area of expertise: moving. I’ve literally moved about 18 times in my life, most of those as an adult.

And every once in a while we do the truly life-changing kind of move– the kind where you move to a place you’ve never lived before where you know absolutely no one. That’s the serious adventure—struggle is real– level of moving, and I’ve only done that eight times. This particular move is all new for us, and that’s the kind of needy-level I’m talking about today.

Yep. You might feel needy and sad. You have no emergency contacts, no friends, no plans, nothing.

You are still getting lost going to the grocery store and trying to remember what day the trash runs.

Actually, this is sort of a pep talk to myself. I’ve met a grand total of 6 neighbors so far, and I’ve only been here a week, so yeah, I have a ways to go. I had to leave our dog at a boarding place during vacation, and I had to list a friend who lives 2 hours away for an “emergency contact.” Thankfully, in the age of cell phones, no one realized she was not a local person.

But the problem is that I can be a wallflower, hesitant to meet new people, which doesn’t work so hot in situations like this.

These are some strategies I’m employing to make new friends, and I hope this list will help you too.

#1. Go outside, right where you live, go outside.

This usually happens without my even being purposeful about it. It’s hard to avoid your neighbors, and they are a group you want to be friends with.

Sit on the front porch if you have one. You can take your phone with you and sit and read it. Inevitably, you will have awkward interactions with your immediate neighbors as they pass by or head to their cars. Yes, it may be uncomfortable, but it’s a phase you have to pass through.

Other ideas for going outside:

-Cut the grass. Water the grass. Pull weeds, or basically any kind of yard work.

-Take your dog for a walk.

-If you live in an apartment/townhouse/ trailer park area, go to the shared spaces like the residents-only gym or pool or park or whatever you may have.

-Wash your car.

-Sit outside and watch your kids play on tricycles or with sidewalk chalk in the front yard.

#2. Visit a church. Try going more than once or signing up for a class to up your chances for making connections.

We went Sunday, and right away I was scanning for potential friends. The people who approach us and help us find our kids’ classes are always our favorites.

If you just go, sit in the back, and leave, you may not actually meet anyone. You may still have a good worship experience, but building a community won’t happen unless you attend more than once and look for smaller groups there to plug into, like Bible studies, groups, classes, etc. Some churches even have Wednesday night dinners and service organizations you can join as well.

#3. Sign your kids up for activities.

Obviously, this is only helpful if you actually have children. It’s funny. Making friends is the easiest when you are in school and then again when you have children because you inevitably meet other people who you have plenty in common with when you are attending all those practices and games.

I’m still running behind on this one, but hey, life isn’t a race, right?

#4. Sign YOURSELF up for activities.

It sounds like a no-brainer, but I am the slowest at getting around to this one. The thing is that when you move you have a billion moving related tasks, which can take MONTHS to complete, so you aren’t in a big hurry to go sign up for a pilates class or a knitting club. But the thing is you do need a club.

Over the years, I’ve enjoyed MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers), Ladies’ Bible study groups, exercise classes, and the PTA for being involved and building a support group. I highly, highly, highly, did I mention highly, recommend MOPS!

#5. Get a job.

I haven’t gotten around to this in 13 years, the whole working outside the home thing, but when I did, my coworkers were usually my best buds. Take time to pick a few favorites, and ask them to go eat with you after work. These are people you see everyday anyway, might as well be friendly.

#6. Attend your HOA or neighborhood community organization or town hall meetings.

This one shows that you care, you will meet other people who care about your community as well, and also you will get to add valuable input to the decisions made that affect you directly.

#7. Look for volunteer opportunities.

I’ve spent a good amount of time on this one over the years. Having 4 children made it awfully hard for me to commit to a job, but volunteer service I could do. Schools always need parents to help at the lunchroom, or book fairs, or the library. In the community there are libraries, hospitals, the Red Cross, and service organizations always looking for volunteers.

If you pick a job you enjoy doing, you’re sure to meet people you have a lot in common with. I especially enjoy volunteering at the school because I end up being way more in the loop with what’s going on at my kids’ school when I’m volunteering.

#8. Visit local parks, playgrounds, pools, and events.

The surest way to meet people in your area is to leave your house and get out and explore your area. If your kids love swimming, the pool is an easy place to make friends. No kids? Try your local library or park and see if they have events or classes you can sign up for. Many libraries put on all sorts of lectures and shows or craft days that are for us, not just the kids.

#9. Be friendly. Smile at people.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t do much good to go to all these events if you never smile or look anyone in the eye. I would know because I have done tons of these events without meeting people. It’s easy to simply slip into the back row, listen quietly, duck into the bathroom during “mingle” times, and leave as soon as it’s over without ever actually talking to anyone. I’ve done it.

It’s amazing how far simply smiling will take you. I’m telling you, if you smile at them, the extraverts will very often come to you, making this process so much easier. Look for other stragglers!

#10. Say yes to invitations.

It may take a while before you actually get any invitations, but eventually you will. And then GO. Go to the baby shower, the book club, the pool party, the work thing, whatever. Just say yes and go.

#11. Search online for meet-ups, clubs, and groups you can join online but also meet in person.

One snazzy website for this is meetup.com. This site will connect you to groups in your area of literally ALL kinds.

For example, when I search my own local area, which is a small city located 30 minutes from a large city, it gives me options from my actual city, as well as groups that are within an hours reach.

Here are a few that I found where I live: a hiking club, a Moms Club, “Artificial Intelligence,” outdoor clubs, state park events, a pick-up soccer group, and an exhaustive list of groups in the greater area. Just to warn you though, this site does have both traditional community organizations on there, as well as less reputable groups as well…so you have been warned.

You can also take to the Facebook search bar and start typing in the kinds of groups you’re interested in. I found a cool hiking club that way once, as well as some of those yard sale type pages.

#12. As soon as you meet a new person, one you’ve actually talked to and connected with, friend them on Facebook or Instagram right away, and ask for their phone number too.

As hard as it may sound, if you stop at just ‘meeting people’, you will still be out of luck when it comes to feeling plugged in and having someone to text. What you need are friends, so you need to get past the acquaintance phase by asking them for their number!

I’ve also found it extremely helpful to friend people I know I’m going to see regularly in real life on Facebook, even when I haven’t known them for much time at all. The thing is that you need to have local people in that Facebook newsfeed.

I need to take all this advice myself. I’ve only been here a week, and I literally have zero local people on Facebook or in my phone. Sadness. But that’s my goal! Soon!!!

Before you know it, this too will pass.

You will be the one introducing yourself to the new people, signing up for leadership positions, and explaining where Sweet Frog is. One step at a time. I hope you find this helpful! If you have any strategies you’d like to add to the list, be sure to mention them in the comment section below.

And if you want to read more of my articles on moving, click here. I have written around eighty articles about moving, between several different websites. It’s sort of a constant theme in my life.

The post 12 Tips on How to Make Friends When You Move appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

hahaha! What does it say about how much I did not love summer this year that I’m blogging a whole series on “recovering from summer.”

I feel like I should explain that it has more to do with moving this summer and leaving so much undone and waiting for “after the kids start school.” But really, is there ever an end to projects?

Plus, I spent a large amount of time outside this year, and I want to whine about how hot it was. I’m a fall person, I can’t help it. I AM SO READY FOR FALL!!!!

Lately there has been a little more time during the day for me to be alone with my thoughts. Not only that, but as I’ve been talking with my friends, I’ve been listening to the words that I’m saying. With the boys at school all day, I have time to reflect on what I’m hearing and saying.

I realized as I was talking the other day that I actually believed that I’m not good at anything at all. 

So much happened in the 4 years we were gone from this place. They weren’t bad years, but they were growing-up, maturing kind of years. Actually, just moving 3 times in 4 years was tough, and that’s not even the part that I focus on most. It feels like I walked about a billion miles to get from there to here, and my body wants to sit down and soak in a bath and just process it all.

Life brought challenges, new tasks, hardships we’ve had to see the boys through, and relationships that changed how I interact with others.

Both difficult and wonderful things have happened, and I internalized so much of it in a negative way. I let it bring me low, not humbled, but defeated and rather sad.

You, my blog readers, are also my friends, so I want to share a little of what I’ve been dealing with. Maybe you can relate.

There were several things I felt like I failed at, then there was the heart scare, the not being allowed to exercise, the weight gain, a difficult person I had trouble with, seeing my parents deal with the fire, the constant moving, and maybe I didn’t handle it all that well. I tried to act like I did.

Low Self-Esteem

My self-esteem became ridiculously low. You might actually call it an inferiority complex. The things I have been saying to myself were HORRIBLE. These are lies I’ve believed.

“You are an inadequate housekeeper.”

“You’re not good at anything.”

“You’re so chubby.”

“Alan doesn’t approve of me.” (These are lies. All of them.)

“Everyone hates your blog. Stop writing it.”

“You were pretty when you were young. Now you’re ugly.”

“You’re annoying. Don’t talk so much.”

“Your views are controversial. Don’t tell people what you really think.”

“No one would hire you even if you tried to get a job. You have no skills.”

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

What to do about low self-esteem

I’m no expert here, but I think the first step is realizing that this is a problem. It’s not a little problem. Living defeated is a BIG BAD DEAL when it’s stopping you from fulfilling your purpose.

I heard people talk about a book called “Girl, Wash Your Face.” (I make like 12 cents a copy if you buy it through that link. lol) I haven’t actually read the book, but the statement made sense to me because in the practical sense, I often skip washing my face in the interest of accomplishing something I deem more important. In the applicable sense, you can tell from the title alone that this is a “Get back up!” sort of message.

You know I love YouTube. So I went there, and I typed “girl, wash your face” in the YouTube search bar. A long list of videos by Rachel Hollis popped up. I watched a random video about finishing the year strong. I don’t even know which one it was.

She kept talking about how she tells herself things like, “You are super fit.” or something like that.

That got me thinking to the crap I’ve been telling myself, just horrible lies I’m believing about myself, rather than believing anything GOOD about who I am and what I can do.

I was in my kitchen, baking cookies for the kids, and I realized, “I have to make a list! A list of how to fix this and a list of POSITIVE thoughts about myself.”

List #1

Healing Self-Esteem Issues

1. Pray about this.
2. Ask God why you have this problem.
3. Identify how you have been dishonest with yourself.
4. What lies or unimportant truths are you listening to?
5. Make a list of what makes you valuable & what you do well.
6. Tell yourself new truths to replace the lies.

I made this list for myself through tears of determination. Yes! Why have I been stumbling? “Who am I?”

What have I been doing? How did I allow myself to come to this place?

It’s OKAY to be sad. I might even still feel sad for whatever reason, but believing evil lies about yourself is helping no one.

You are of high value!!!

List #2

The Confidence List

On this page, I wrote only solid, positive truths about myself.

Things like this:

“I make delicious no bake cookies.”

“God greatly loves me.”

“My children adore me.”

“Alan thinks I’m pretty.”

“I have courage.”

“I am not fake.”

“I put myself through college in 3 1/2 years.” (Answered prayers!!)

“I share my lessons with others on my blog.”

And I actually wrote way, way more than that. I wanted to pass these ideas along to you, in case you need to make those lists too.

After I made these lists, I also sat down with Alan and discussed this struggle with him, so he could understand what’s going on inside my head and my heart.

Life is tough, but we don’t have to believe the lies. We CAN live victoriously.

I firmly believe there are both good and evil forces in this world. God wants only what’s good for you, and the devil knows that the worse you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to do anything bold and beautiful for others. He wants us cowering in a corner, but that is not what we are built for.

I know I can’t overcome my low self-esteem in one weekend, but by golly we can forge ahead, right? I hope you’ll make your confidence list too!

Is this something you’ve dealt with? Tell us in the comments section how you rise above it.

The post Day 2: Tackling Low Self Esteem with Truth and List Making appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

One year after moving…

A year ago, we were the new kids in town. It’s an exciting place to be, but it’s not a secure feeling at all. Perhaps that why it’s so exciting. You’re all out there without roots, marching out into the unknown, hoping the people will be kind and the environment friendly.

Phew! It’s exhausting to be new: always putting your best foot forward…Actually, sometimes it’s an accomplishment just to remember to smile at everyone and keep your foot out of your mouth. Forget about your best foot. Which one is best anyway???

That’s why the one-year mark is a much happier place to be. No, we don’t have “roots” here yet, but at least we’ve met people, we’ve been watered in, so to speak, and the garden is feeling less scary and more familiar.

3 of my guys, passed out “watching” the NBA finals a few weeks ago…Is it called the finals? Or the championship?  They were rooting for the Golden State Warriors. We’ve held on to a few favorite sports teams from each move. We may always be #TeamWarriors and #TeamNats and of course, #rolltide!

This is at a park across town. Last year that park seemed like a million miles away, and I could not have made a single turn without the help of the GPS. This summer it seemed so much closer!

Last year I had a LIST of things I was NERVOUS about:

1. School uniforms for the boys–Did we buy the right thing? Will they ever adjust to wearing collared shirts everyday?
2. Switching back to regular school–Will we survive it???
3. Meeting people– Will anyone like us? Will the boys make friends? What if there’s a bully? What if one of them gets in fights at school?
4. My face is broken out like a teenager–WHYYYYYYY????
5. Church people–We picked this church, but will it work out? What sort of people will they turn out to be? Do they pretend to be perfect and expect me to do the same? I’m not playing that game. I’m much too old for that.
6. The village–Is this a good place for my children to be raised? Why is this crime report so horrible? Is this place less safe than D.C.? Because it sort of seems like it is!!!
7. Dropping off J.D. ANYWHERE is impossible. He will NOT let me leave him. Will he ever stop crying???

The boys have taken turns killing spiders for me this summer. Perhaps I should call pest control…

This year I have about 1,000 LESS worries and anxieties!!!

All of the worries from last year are gone. We are happy with our school, our church, and JD usually lets me drop him off without too much of a struggle.

I can’t tell you much it warmed my heart to have ONE successful VBS year with my boys. First of all, VBS and our boys have not always been a great combination.

Most of my boys don’t enjoy crafts, singing, dancing, or listening. Sigh. That list pretty much sums up VBS, doesn’t it? Plus, they are a little shy, and they dislike large crowds, especially large crowds of kid where they don’t know anyone.

This week has been completely different for us! We have achieved VBS success. I can’t believe it!

First, of all, I taught Bible story time, so three of my four boys got to have me as their teacher for 20 minutes of the morning, which helped.

Secondly, they divided the 100 children into groups of 6 to 12 kids of like ages. I can’t tell you what a blast Joshua had getting to hang out all morning everyday with 5 other 11-year-old boys.

And Daniel made a new friend who likes baseball as much as he does!

Seeing them so happy made my day because most years they just feel like the outsiders at the family reunion. You know? Going to events in a new place where you don’t know anyone is like going to a high school reunion for a high school you didn’t attend.

It was also a relief to not be moving this year. Without all the unpacking boxes and living in hotels, we’ve had more time to do fun things this summer. We’ve gone to weddings, visited old friends, played with new ones, celebrated birthdays, and hung out together at home.

We have a lot of fun. Sometimes they make up their own costumes…

JD has developed a passion for puzzles, and he does these completely by himself.

swimming with friends: Here’s Daniel’s favorite girl squirting Caleb in the face with a water gun.

We actually had to say good-bye to Daniel’s favorite girl and her brother this summer, who is one of Caleb’s best buds, so we do know the sadness both in moving and in having friends move.

He wears a Batman t-shirt every single day.

We’ve visited both sets of our parents multiple times. My dad really loves having his picture taken, as you can see…

John David turned 4 and built up his Lego collection.

The boys had a ball getting to sleep in hotel beds.

I’ve almost recovered from sleeping in hotel beds….

visiting our old best buds on Caleb’s birthday

So this summer finds us in a much more secure place than last year.

We have friends. We know how to go most everywhere we need to go without looking at a map, and best of all, we have about a hundred acquaintances.

It warms my heart to see my boys relaxing more and being themselves.

I hear people knocking “acquaintances” sometimes, but those must be people that never move. When you move frequently, you learn to treasure even the acquaintances, because thanks to them, you can walk around town and be reminded to smile and nod because you spot a familiar face.

It’s reassuring to me to have tons of just acquaintances. Why? Because those are all potential people in your corner right there! Just seeing a familiar person, someone whose name you know, is enough to put you at ease when you sign up for something new and you walk into a room full of strangers.

Walking around in a sea of strangers feels a lot less welcoming to me than passing by people who smile and say hello because they know my name or they know my children.

So I would say that actually having a ton of surface level friends is not so bad.

Yes, you need a few close friends too, but you can only pour into so many bosom buddies. It’s pretty awesome just to be somewhere long enough to know people’s names and have a few friends to say hello to. It reminds you to smile, and when we smile we start to feel good, as though we belong. And you know what? You do belong.

Happy summer, y’all! I hope you’re having a good one too.

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The post What it’s Like a Year After Moving appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

This is the lovely Amy and Tegann. They were our friends in California, we were beyond excited to visit with them recently!

Right when you move is always at the exact moment that you’ve finally made close friends. In California, we were lucky enough to have a whole group of them.

My California neighborhood crew

It took a year, though. That first year I knew very few other people. It’s hard when you’re new!

I saw an article headline written by a mom with no tribe. I didn’t read it, so I’m not sure how she felt about that, but I am always happier when I DO have a tribe of friends.

No, actually, I’d go so far as to say I NEED a tribe of friends. It brings me happiness and encouragement. People need people. We do. Yes, I spend almost all of my time with my family, but we aren’t meant to be isolated families of people. I always carve out time to go hang with other ladies too.

When I’m hanging out with a group of gals, I laugh so hard my sides split. And I am known for my loud cackle.

Alan’s mom and her sisters hold us all in awe. Three sisters. It’s like the ultimate tribe. They text, they call, they travel together, and they support and tease each other through life.

Just today, I was at my friend Brooke’s house, thinking how much more I smile when I’m visiting with her or any of my friends or my mom, just a friend who accepts you for who you are.

It takes me over a year to develop a tribe of friends with each place, and I don’t have one here yet. My friend Brooke and I were just talking today about how lonely that is.

I need to get pro-active about that and put together a supper club…any takers??

My friend Amy, from my Virginia tribe (how I miss them!), came and visited us in California.

If I hadn’t missed so many MOPS meetings, I would be calling that my tribe already. I love MOPS and the ladies there, but sometimes I don’t make it because of JD or because I have work to do.

At this stage of life, we don’t have ‘time’ to pour into friendships

and that’s why we have to be extra understanding and forgiving of our friends. Everybody’s busy.

However, I think the mommy years are years when we need friends just as much as ever. I would say more than ever, but I actually can’t think of a single stage of life when we don’t desperately need a support group.

Some people find that group at church or at the playground. I seem to usually find them in my neighborhood, thought that isn’t the case here.

I’ve been blessed to belong to several AMAZING tribes of friends over the years. I just had a different group for each place that I lived. Eventually, I will have one here too. These things take time.

A year from now, I won’t be tribe-less anymore. By then, I’ll just be heart-broken to leave. How do I know? Well, I always have before, so I can be optimistic, and I’m hoping for the best and trying to remember to be friendly and speak to people. Ha! It’s hard for an introvert sometimes, but we need people too.

What about you? Do you have a group of pals that make you laugh ’til you cry? It’s not a tribe unless it’s both fun and supportive.

The post I Actually Do Need a Tribe appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Surprise Welcome Home Party at Kristy’s house. There were 23 neighbors in attendance.

On Friday night, I snuck into my home town.

My parents were expecting me at 8:45pm, but truthfully I arrived at 7:30 or so, but I didn’t want them to know that. They were still staying at the rental house, but I did not go straight to the rental house. I went by my childhood friend, Kristy’s, house. We were on a mission, you see.

I grew up playing with Kristy and the other neighborhood kids. Kristy’s grandparents lived next door to us, and she spent a lot of time over there. As kids, we climbed trees, rode bikes, swung, swam in her granny’s pool, and played a good deal of make-believe and front yard baseball.

Then six or seven years ago, grown-up Kristy bought the house across the street from my parents! Pretty cool, huh? That tiny street is full of people who have been living there for most of my life.

They’ve been watching the destruction and re-building of my parents’ house up close and personal. They dealt with the smells, oh, you don’t want to know about the smells, the rubble looters on the day of the bulldozer, the construction crews, and the watching and waiting. They never complained.

Kristy said, “I’m telling you, they could’ve built it faster.”

Mrs. Sara (Kristy’s granny) lamented, “Well, the only problem is they built it closer to the road than it used to be, and the way it’s shaped I can’t see Terry on his front porch, and I can’t see Terry on his back porch. How am I supposed to know he’s okay???? How am I supposed to know it if he falls?”

She’s right, that’s a problem when you have good neighbors. Kirsty reassured her it’d be okay because she can still see him from her front porch.

Neighbors that look out for each other. Such a beautiful thing!

A month or so ago, Kristy hatched a plan for a surprise party. We had no idea what day they’d finally move in, so she planned it for December 10th, and lo and behold, what day do you think they finally moved in? Well, December 10th, of course, so it was pretty easy to get my parents over to the right place at the right time.

Chris, Kristy, and me

We decided the best story to tell to make sure my parents were at the new house unloading at party time was to say that pizza was arriving at the new house at 11am. This was pretty easy. I just used Alan’s obsession with pizza coupons as my cover story.

“You know how Alan is about his pizza coupons. Well, he’s already got the pizza scheduled to be delivered at 11am tomorrow at the new house. It’s a little early, but he wanted to make sure he had plenty of food, and that way when my brother gets off of work, they will be able to get straight to work with the heavy moving then.”

No one doubted that story for a second.

By 11am, every one of us was in place at my parents’ new house, but there was one part I hadn’t thought through. Now how do I get them over to Kristy’s house? Everyone was focused on the mission of moving… Hmmmm

“Hey, um, y’all, I talked to Kristy out in the yard, and she said when Dad gets here to have y’all stop by her house real quick. I think she has a Christmas gift for ya.”

And to my surprise, it was that simple!

They just said, “Oh. Okay,” and started off across the street.

“I think I’ll come too,” I said, motioning the boys to come on. John David was of course shoeless. Alan got his little shoes on JD as quickly as possible, and we all six followed Mom and Dad across the street.

Mom said she did think it was weird that we were ALL coming.

Kirsty opened the doors and motioned for us to all come in. I’m not sure how long it took Mom and Dad to figure out this was their surprise party or that we weren’t actually having pizza. Pretty funny! This was so fun to be a part of.

We all ate together. Mr. Byrd, a neighbor I remember as the one who would buy whatever I was selling from my school fund-raiser every year, said a beautiful blessing before the meal.

We laughed over the surprise, and caught up with everybody.

Then we walked everyone over and gave them a tour of the new house, for those who hadn’t seen inside of it yet.

I know. I know you’re dying to get a peek inside too, and I would show it to you, but Mom’s not as big on posting the minute details of her life on the internet as I am, so I’m going to literally just show you one peek. I’m going to give you Kristy’s porch view of the new place:

Mr. Byrd, Dad, and Chris and Kristy’s porch view of the new house.

It’s not a re-built house. It’s a completely new house. The old one had to be bulldozed and carried away, down to the last scrap of concrete. Nothing could be left. What wasn’t burned was all damaged by smoke, water, and asbestos.

Everything is gone. The trampoline burned too. When they were clearing the house away, there was a huge storm that came through, and lightning stuck the last of the tall pine trees that still stood from my childhood. And as they took away the dumpster last week, they killed the mailbox too.

It was as though God decided that he couldn’t just partially fix it. It had to be completely made new.

We may not understand the ways of God, but his ways are best, and I know that this house is going to be a great blessing to my parents.

Isn’t it funny how God even arranged it for Alan and me to move back down here for two years, so that we were here for all of this? I got to see construction of the new house in all of its phases. I got to pore over paint and tile samples with Mom on my coffee table.

And I got to be there for move-in day, even when we didn’t know until 3 days prior that it would be moving day!

God moves in mysterious ways.

I wish you could see what all Kristy has done with her house too! She bought it after the housing market crashed, and completely re-modeled the place, knocking down walls, moving the kitchen, painting, and putting in new floors. It’s inspirational to look at what she’s accomplished without even hiring a builder, a little at a time!

It makes me smile to see Alan getting to talk to these sweet neighbors, these pillars from my childhood. When I see Mrs. Sara I always smile and think of how she used to call out to us from her front door, “Y’all play purdy now!!” Maybe I should start calling that out my door to the boys and their friends.

Our neighbors didn’t just feed us and visit with us, even though that would have been more than enough. They also SHOWERED my parents with gifts, AGAIN. I say again because they’d already helped after the fire, but they just kept on giving!

opening gifts

Kristy, our lovely coordinator and hostess

They were given a big, beautiful set of Rachel Ray cookware, which I could tell Mom was excited about, as well as all sorts of other useful blessings!

Mom and I have always admired what Kristy can do with her vinyl cricket (cricuit?) machine!

An Emotional Gift

The most emotional gift was this large framed floorboard from the original house, which Kristy wrote their name and anniversary date on. I cried when I saw it, even though I knew she was planning it. Mom cried. I don’t know if Dad cried.

The day of the bulldozing, Kristy had looked for some wood from the house, but there was none available that wasn’t too damaged, so she found a whole plank from the Pergo floors. This made it even more special because Mom and Dad had put those floors down themselves around 10 years ago, and we’d all just loved those floors.

Kirsty laughed about almost getting caught salvaging that board from the rubble. She said she left the kids with Gail and ran over to dig around for something she could save for Mom and Dad. She had just discovered a good board, and all of a sudden there was my dad! He was there to try to save some china, and she quickly dropped the board off to the side, and said, “Oh, here, let me help you with that!” She said she felt like she was almost busted. So funny, because Dad would have had no idea what she was doing anyway.

We laughed, we ate, we cried, and then we hugged people and got back to work!

This was such a blessing, what the neighbors did for my parents, and I just wanted to share it, the fact that things like this still happen. There are people who are still kind, giving, unselfish, who want to help other people, and we make each others’ lives better in the process.

Thank you so much for all the hard work you put into this, Kristy, and to all the neighbors for blessing us in such a big way. We are so thankful! Our cup runneth over.

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”  –Hebrews 13:16

May we all strive to be this kind of neighbor. Merry Christmas, y’all!

The post Moving Day, the Surprise Party, and the Power of Good Neighbors appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

You may be thinking, “Yes! MOPS! I love MOPS!!”

Or you may be thinking, “What the heck is MOPS?”

Well, either way, come check out my article today at Monterey Premier’s Engaging WorkLife, and find out why moms need MOPS/ Mom’s Next. Just click here or on the photo above.

The post Why You NEED MOPS/Mom’s Next appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.

Something special happened to me this week.

We have been on such an emotional roller coaster this year, and we’ve had new obstacles to manage the past couple of weeks. When one member of a family meets a set-back, the whole family meets it too because we are each other’s support. I cannot write about it because it wasn’t mine to write about, but I felt it almost as much as he did. Don’t worry. Everyone is safe and sound, but not all of life’s battles are physical.

Meanwhile, there is so much going on in our hearts, both exciting and hard, as we settle into our new community here, but we are so thankful that we are never alone.

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Woody has been a friend of ours for a long time.

Batteries, schmatteries. Woody swims.

Before this he was buried in the sand, so he deserved this swim.

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Even if we didn’t have each other, which thankfully we do, we are never alone. Even if it were just me here with no family at all, I would not be truly alone. No one HAS to be.

When you believe in God the Father and Creator, and Jesus His Son, there is no reason to ever be alone. He promises he is always with us. He has given us a Comforter, the Holy Spirit.

16And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever — 17the Spirit of truth.                    John 14:16-17

When I move, I usually pray that we will all make friends. We are not alone, but there is something extra special about having flesh and blood friends who comfort and cheer us, and in turn we do the same for them.

I love how friends often come in unexpected ways, like Fran.

Now I’m not referring to Alan’s Aunt Fran. We love her too, but this is another, much older Fran that we just met.

Wednesday night we met her at church, and she said to Alan, “I’d like to have your names and your phone number. As I was sitting here, and I saw y’all, such a lovely new family, and we’re glad to have you, I thought, ‘I’d like to help them.’ We did that for a family with little boys in the past, but then I realized, ‘Wait, now I’m 85 years old, I can’t help them quite the same as I could back then, but I can pray for them.”

Ah. She is doing exactly what she can do in the place that she is. What a sweet, sweet blessing. I’ve never felt so special.

We gave her our number. We didn’t really expect that she’d call us.

This morning I went to MOPS. (Moms of Preschoolers) I’ve never been to one before, but I like to be social, and I’m not so burdened down here as I was in California, so I was finally able to go.

John David and I were on our way home from MOPS, about to turn into my driveway, when my cell phone rang, and it was Fran. She said again how she is praying for us, and she asked for the boys’ names and ages and asked how she can pray for each of our little boys.

I was happy to give her all of that information, and one of our boys has had an especially rough start here. He hasn’t been in any trouble, but he has faced difficult things, and on top of that he has medical tests ahead of him with a cardiologist, and I told Fran a little bit about all of that.

I asked about her too, and this sweet lady has lived all over the world. Her story is very interesting.

I got off the phone with tears in my eyes. It seems like tears are always in my eyes lately. Again, there have been no great, horrible things that have happened, it’s just that it’s an overwhelming year of many changes. Sometimes the tears just sort of brim over and leak out.

But today I feel blessed. We are loved. God is with us. We can meet whatever we must meet. We are all never truly alone.

Have you ever met a friend like Fran? Or have you ever thought of being a friend to a younger family or person, as she is for us? I’d love to hear about it.

The post An Unexpected Blessing and Friend appeared first on Stories of Our Boys.